12/01/2004: Feliz Navidad.
Sorry, sorry — still finishing it up. Oi. Don’t worry, it’s coming very very soon. The return of Mare Winningham, a true Christmas icon, is just around the corner. Meantime, click here for several dozen reasons not to complain about X-E’s holiday season starting late.
Discussion Thread: 71 comments
Woot! First one!
Posted by
Saf @ 12/01/2004 11:09 PM EST
Second!
Posted by
Kleo @ 12/01/2004 11:10 PM EST
Aw that’s just adoreable Matt! I’d like to see that Cobra Chia Pet plot you never finished worked into Mare’s diabolical designs, but we’ll see!
Posted by
KouHotaru @ 12/01/2004 11:17 PM EST
What will Mare be wearing this year? Is blood red the new black? At least we know she’ll be drinking Giant Ape Juice.
Posted by
trajeal @ 12/01/2004 11:27 PM EST
Why mare winningham? Am i missing something? I saw the last advent calendar but still left with that burning question WHY? I know shes an actress and all..
And after reading all the Excellent christmas foods and treats you guys get in the US, i went down to my local K-Mart to see what christmas junk they had, and i was thoroughly disappointed… The best we had was a 4 pack of kinder surprise with a picture of Santa on the tag… i want colored oreos! i want peeps! and Red & Green Holiday goldfish!! We get next to NUTHIN consider yourselves lucky!
Posted by
GK @ 12/01/2004 11:29 PM EST
The music. i love it. it is truly december.
Posted by
Xero @ 12/01/2004 11:44 PM EST
KINDER EGG UPDATE
My Kinder (sans the Polar Express advertising)
Dec 1st: Received an old wise man.
Dec 2nd: Frosty the Snow man…complete with skis and a ski lift part.
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Posted by
EMajorwitz @ 12/01/2004 11:55 PM EST
Yes! You’re me savior, the only Christmas cd I brought with me was NSync’s Christmas *shudder*. Everything good is at home. But no more!
I made an advent calendar today because nowhere within walking distace (my mode of transportation) sells them…so I can be distracted peeling chocolaty glue off my hands until Christmas gets goin’ here.
Posted by
Mara @ 12/02/2004 1:05 AM EST
Too bad the XE calendar isn’t up yet, but you know it’s gonna be worth the wait…in the meantime I’ll just busy myself with the Strawberry Shortcake advent calendar my Mom mailed to me! Good thing she did, too- I dont think advent calendars exist in Korea. What a sad place 
Posted by
Muppet Baby @ 12/02/2004 1:22 AM EST
I just realized how awesome the Band Aid song would be if sung by X-E icons. He-Man and Freddy Krueger singing the first verse side-by-side, Storm Shadow wearing Hulk Hands while singing in harmony with King Hippo and My Pet Monster. And of course, Tim Curry introduces the song with the words, "Come on, girls. Let’s let them know that… it’s Christmas."
Posted by
Gavok @ 12/02/2004 1:36 AM EST
i never realized how much i look forward to the advent calendar until right now.
i’m excited to see what this years will bring!
Posted by
candice @ 12/02/2004 1:40 AM EST
Muppet Baby- Korea isn’t such a bad place, I mean, where else can you get cheap NFL jerseys for $10? I bought a Peyton Manning jersey there like five years ago and it is still looking good, compared to the ones I’ve bought at retail stores.
Say, we can start a swap meet right here on X-E!
My Kinder Advent Calendars and cash for some kimchee and an NFL jersey to be named later.
Whaddya think? lol
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Posted by
EMajorwitz @ 12/02/2004 3:52 AM EST
NUMBER 15!!!! THIS IS MY BEST EVER!!!! i have nothing else to say………..I need Christmas Advent Updates!!! Im feending!!!…i think thats how you spell it??!!!
Posted by
Ralph @ 12/02/2004 6:24 AM EST
EMajorwitz- No, you’re right- it’s a pretty interesting place, that’s for sure! You sound like you’ve spent some time in Itaewon! And your offer of Kinder Eggs IS tempting…
As long as I have XE to visit, I feel like I’m at home when I’m looking at my computer screen, ya know? Awwww….Jeez, sorry for being all mushy everyone- the holidays brings that out of me!
Posted by
Muppet Baby @ 12/02/2004 7:08 AM EST
Anybody watch the Rudolph special last night?
Posted by
Jessica @ 12/02/2004 8:34 AM EST
I was busy watching the Nick and Jessica Christams special, it was so bad it was funny. I think Jessica Simpson is retarded
Posted by
dr mindbender in a speedo @ 12/02/2004 8:55 AM EST
If you are Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, and you suck, why would you completely point that out by singing with Bing Crosby? Way to draw attention to how awful you are Jessica Simpson. Nothing says Christmas like defiling a classic. Get naked.
Posted by
Lou @ 12/02/2004 9:11 AM EST
YES! MARE IS COMING BACK! I LOVE the advent calendar….I think we need a camo from Mista’ Snowman. He rocks my planet.
Posted by
princesspeachypoo @ 12/02/2004 9:27 AM EST
Matt - you are lucky that I love you so much cuz you are really pushing it - a FT job is no excuse! I’m holding my breath til this damn advent calendar is up and if I die let it be on your soul!! Ok just kidding - too much coffee this morning - feeling a little melodramatic. Can’t wait to see your creative genius - PLEASE HURRY!!!!
Posted by
pefibqed89 @ 12/02/2004 9:57 AM EST
Hey - can someone please explain the "giant ape juice" thing to me - i’m new to the site and i’ve been going through the archives b/c I am in love with this site and I keep seeing "giant ape juice" in the comments. I’m sure it’s explained somewhere but when I do a search all I get is 10 million links to old comments - can someone please help me?
Posted by
Confused and Curious @ 12/02/2004 10:00 AM EST
I missed Thomas Haden Church on Conan last night.
Thank goodness for CNBC’s next day re-runs.
Posted by
AngeFaitore @ 12/02/2004 10:55 AM EST
BTW: One of the first X-E articles I found with "Giant Ape Juice"…
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/546.html
Posted by
AngeFaitore @ 12/02/2004 10:59 AM EST
Well, Giant Ape Juice mystery solved. I wonder if Matt cares that X-E’s not #1 on Google for Giant Ape Juice now.
Posted by
jhnnywalkr @ 12/02/2004 11:23 AM EST
Thanks for the link AngeFaitore - it all makes sense now!
Posted by
Confused and Curious @ 12/02/2004 11:27 AM EST
We’re only #3 - that can be corrected jhnnywalkr…
GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE, GIANT APE JUICE!
Man I love cut-n-paste!
Posted by
pefibqed89 @ 12/02/2004 11:30 AM EST
Not to be picky Matt (I know you work very hard to make this site as fabulous as it is) BUT the home page still has the Thanksgiving-themed header not the lovely new Christmas-themed one at the top of this page. What’s up with that?
Posted by
Extremely Picky @ 12/02/2004 11:33 AM EST
Ugh…that comic does not deserve to be #1 and 2.
GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE GIANT APE JUICE
giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice giant ape juice
Posted by
beSharp @ 12/02/2004 11:34 AM EST
No more Ape Juice, please!
Extremely Picky: It’s coming, in steps. But it’ll all be up tonight.
Posted by
Matt @ 12/02/2004 11:36 AM EST
Thank you so much for the Christmas Music. It’s giving me something to listen to as I decorate my room 
Ooh, yeah. Nothing helps that holiday mood get into gear like a little Jazz. The rest of the tunes are appropos for this season, but listening to the Peanuts stuff is a great addition to anyone’s list. Think I’ll dig out my Dr. Demento tapes and listen to "Kill a Tree For Christ" by Celtic Elvis.
Posted by
kingklash the X-mas beatnik @ 12/02/2004 11:53 AM EST
Sweet jukebox. thanks a lot mang.
Posted by
gougeaway1026 @ 12/02/2004 12:02 PM EST
How about "Tiny Monkey Extract"?
Posted by
jhnnywalkr @ 12/02/2004 12:12 PM EST
Man, thanks for the tunes!
I can’t fathom how the concept of suicide and Dominick the Donkey can coexist in one world. If Scrooge heard that song, the story would’ve been a fourth as long.
Me and a friend were talking about Feliz Navidad the other day. When I was younger, it was a song I always heard part of on the radio but never the whole song. Or I never paid attention to it.
Anyway, one day I heard it playing and I decided to keep listening. I knew that the song had to lead to something. So I listened to the same lyrics over and over again, anticipating actual verses. Then… it just ended.
Also, I just realized that X-E never covered the Run DMC Christmas in Hollis video. Then again, there’s not much to cover considering the humor is intentional.
Posted by
Gavok @ 12/02/2004 12:33 PM EST
Is something wrong, Matt?
I was about to have lunch, but jhnnywalkr’s talk of "tiny monkey extract" made me lose my appetite.
Posted by
Gavok @ 12/02/2004 12:52 PM EST
This may just be the Pepsi Holiday Spice + whiskey cocktail talking…but I really need some X-E updates…Immediately!
But would it be an extract of a tiny monkey, or an extract for a tiny monkey?
Posted by
jhnnywalkr @ 12/02/2004 1:11 PM EST
YAY for Charlie Brown Christmas song!! YAY MATT!!!
Posted by
rimmie @ 12/02/2004 1:26 PM EST
Christmas Krang is frowning because he’s Jewish.
Either that or Bebop’s got ahold of the missletoe again.
Posted by
Gavok @ 12/02/2004 1:37 PM EST
Hey! Thanks a lot! I was busy trying to compile a Christmas song list as well!!!
Excellent job!
Christmas in Hollis! Woo!
Charlie Brown! Woo woo!
Posted by
David @ 12/02/2004 1:38 PM EST
Can you buy kinder eggs anywhere in the mid-west? I’m in Tulsa, and I swear I’ve never seen them
Posted by
Rosella @ 12/02/2004 1:40 PM EST
It’s a good thing I keep clicking almost every link I see even though they might be extremely harmful for me or my computer. Fairytale Of New York is one of the few good christmassy thing left in the world. Angst is so cool.
Posted by
iivuli @ 12/02/2004 1:41 PM EST
I have a lot to say, hmm.
GK– the things look like Mare Winningham. Read the first advent calendar from a few years ago… it’s at http://x-entertainment.com/xmassy/ still!
Gavok– Suicide couldn’t exist *without* Dominick the Donkey.
yjr– Saying "giant ape juice" 500 million times is cheating, and Matt asked you not to! Oi vey.
I love the inquisitive Rudolph for the "About" link.
Posted by
Kate @ 12/02/2004 2:28 PM EST
Thanks for the great Christmas music! It really feels like December now. :) I’ll be listening to these all month! Cant wait for the Advent Calender!!
Christmas Cheer For All!!!
Posted by
heeloyd @ 12/02/2004 2:28 PM EST
Matt, your Christmas work is always the best you do all year and brings a piece of Christmas to my dorm room every year. So it’s a few days behind, whatever.
Thanks for adding the music this year, it’s a great addittion.
Posted by
Charlie @ 12/02/2004 2:37 PM EST
You want Kinder Eggs? It is more of a German phenemon than anything. Matt did an article on them way back, but I believe he didn’t give them a fair enough shake.
Take one chocolate egg, with a hollow center containing a yellow pill that has a toy inside, some complete with stickers.
They even have a website, in practically every language.
http://www.magic-kinder.com
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Posted by
EMajorwitz @ 12/02/2004 2:46 PM EST
I LOVE the christmas template! Those lite brites, I mean mini-xmas lights are perfect.
I can’t believe I came back from Thanksgiving break without any decorations for my room. I had a mini tree all rigged up with mini lights and mini ornaments and I forgot to pack it for school!
Posted by
Law Girl @ 12/02/2004 3:05 PM EST
Click on me name to see a listing of upcoming holiday movies on TV…i got the link from the guys at fark.com
Posted by
-Jen- @ 12/02/2004 3:33 PM EST
TV Guide’s website also has their holiday special guide going now.
Posted by
Law Girl @ 12/02/2004 3:38 PM EST
I think Matt is pissed at me, and I don’t know why. Maybe he finally had enough of me requesting reviews for "that movie". Sorry.
Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare! Mare!
Posted by
Villainous Fats @ 12/02/2004 4:30 PM EST
WHOA!!!!!! Lookin’ good, Matt! I love what you’ve used for your nav buttons (especially the Pac-Man one). Lookin’ forward to the new x-mas season, coming this winter on X-E!
Villainous Fats- You said it! I’m seriously about to start a Mare inningham fanclub, decorated with all sorts of Playmobil Mare Winninghams. (Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that unless you were to pay me the amount of one with about three or four zeros to the right of it.)
Posted by
Nate @ 12/02/2004 5:29 PM EST
Oops. I spelled "Winningham" as "inningham." Shows just how much of a fan of her I truly am. 
Posted by
Nate @ 12/02/2004 5:32 PM EST
Picked up my very own PM Advent Calendar at the old Target today! Nope, not opening it. Waiting till Matt starts posting. Imagine being able to open every toy that Matt has reviewed for a month, when you get home from work…. yeah, its gonna be the @$&#!
Posted by
KillaHill @ 12/02/2004 6:13 PM EST
hey whats the name of that funky crappy 80s’ish rap version of rudof the red nosed reindeer?
Posted by
orko @ 12/02/2004 6:14 PM EST
Nice playlist, I’m trying to track down all the Peanuts songs, Garfield ones would be nice too.
Peeping Tom Bing Crosby was the best part of the special last night.
Well besides my future wife, Ashlee.
Posted by
Paul @ 12/02/2004 6:43 PM EST
CHRISTMAS TIME PEOPLE, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
RARRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Posted by
Tenacious Tate @ 12/02/2004 7:11 PM EST
Yay, luke warm!!! Merry christmas and lots of love!
Posted by
Luke @ 12/02/2004 7:16 PM EST
hey matt. do you play halo 2? if so what is your gamertag? I understand if you dont wanna give it up. A lot of people are afraid to play me.
Posted by
zombone @ 12/02/2004 7:43 PM EST
Matt -
The christmas mix is AWESOME!!! The only song you’re missing is mariah carey - all i want for christmas is you… haha.
Posted by
FLyGrL @ 12/02/2004 8:32 PM EST
We switched from our typical lyrics-free Muzak to the Xmas background music today at work. After 8 months of listening to horrible renditions of My Heart Will Go On on the oboe, my joy at hearing Burl Ives was boundless. Lots of Sinatra, not nearly enough of the King. At least they played the Island of Misfit Toys song.
Rosella: You aren’t supposed to be able to get Kinder’s anywhere in the US. Canadians can be trusted not to swallow giant plastic pills, but apparentely we can’t.
Orko: Says it’s called Rudolph Rap, and it’s by the California Raisins. Oh, and your definition of "crappy" is definitely different from mine
Matt, these songs are awesome, I can’t believe you’ve pulled this all together between working and blood capsules and Macy’s Parades. Can we expect them (the songs) to stick around all season?
Who the hell cares what kind of juice you’re drinking as long as it’s not man juice!!
BTW, Matt, thanks for putting the Nat’l Lampoon song on the playlist!! I love that song sooo much! Lindsey Buckingham probably wishes he never did that many drugs to warrent a soundtrack song…but it really does kick ass.
Holiday Roo-OO-ooo-OO-oooaaad!
Teh Chipmunks are also true harbringers of the season.
Posted by
kidneyboy @ 12/02/2004 9:06 PM EST
Quick prediction: One of the articles this year will be about the Christmas episode of Real Ghostbusters. The one where they accidentally busted the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future and Peter had to pretend to be all three.
Posted by
Gavok @ 12/02/2004 9:11 PM EST
Thanks Matt. Sorry guys but the GAJ thing was starting to give me a headache.
In other news, love the Xmas decos (especially the little Gizmo, awww) and can’t wait to see it on the main screaen.
Posted by
KayM @ 12/02/2004 9:25 PM EST
"The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Big"? Where the hell did you find this stuff?!?
And to follow it up with "Go Tell It On the Mountain". Man, XE-mas fucking rules.
Hey, lovin’ Christmas Pac up there. Woohoo, Christmas Pac!
As far as the Giant Ape Juice thing goes, at least Matt knows he was the first site to ever post it. He may not be #1 at Google, but he sure was #1 in aged perfection.
Not only am I waiting for the Advent calender, I’m also curious about any new commercials Matt has going on. Anything on the burner? Oh, and whatever happened to your co-workers? Are they in litigation w/ you over their burnt out taste buds? Did they grow feathers and bean pods and start weating turkey gravy? Are they ok, Matt?
Posted by
trajeal @ 12/02/2004 10:11 PM EST
After rereading that, I realize I sound like Papa Dr. Evil w/ his invention of the question mark. I will use it constantly, even when not required! ?? See that, I did it again. ??
Posted by
trajeal @ 12/02/2004 10:13 PM EST
Continue the censorship you facists!!
Posted by
Flava @ 12/03/2004 9:47 AM EST
When will Matt add Thomas Haden Church and Paul Giamatti with the Stormtroopers and Lady Mare?
Giamatti and Church need their own Legomen.
Posted by
AngeFaitore @ 12/03/2004 9:40 PM EST
Kinder eggs rock! Not only is it a layer ot tasty chocolate with a toy inside (The crucial food + toy combination.) But they contain some of the most absolutely complicated toys I have ever seen.
Come on, a 1" plastic pill filled with a dozen plastic pieces and an instruction manual! (And spuer fun bonus stickers) That’s just so wrong it HAS to be great!
Posted by
A Fuzzy Squirrel @ 12/09/2004 3:36 PM EST
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