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11/14/2004: The Jones Soda Holiday Pack, reviewed.

Okay, it’s not the most important X-E article in history — that was a lie — but this review of the Jones Soda Holiday Pack provides the most vile materials ever found on the site. The already famous set includes cola flavors like “Turkey & Gravy” and “Green Bean Casserole,” and I’ve enlisted the help of four friends from work to tell you how disgusting all of it is. Enjoy. Had to postpone the scheduled (ha) Macy’s Parade review until next weekend, but for the sake of potato juice, you’ll have to accept it.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 188 comments

Wow. Matt finally found some people to eat/drink the stuff he does. Where were they for the Chef Boyardee, and the Hi-C?

Ghosted by TOP1214 @ 11/16/2004 3:07 AM EST

You know, I wonder what Tommy Dreamer makes of all of this.

Ghosted by Gavok @ 11/16/2004 3:53 AM EST

I have two questions: What sick freak came up with the idea of green bean casserole soda and what is he smoking?

Ghosted by Yama @ 11/16/2004 8:23 AM EST

I must confess, I wish you’d put more pictures of VT and less pictures of plastic squirrels.

Ghosted by Cobra Soldier #18 @ 11/16/2004 9:57 AM EST

i love this site and all affiliated with it. i want VT’s number.

Ghosted by Riki Tiki Tomo @ 11/16/2004 11:07 AM EST

Did anyone else catch Tom Goes to the Mayor on Sunday? It was some funny shit. Not hilarious but it was funny. Its good to see they are adding to the adult swim lineup with non anime shows. Not that I don’t like anime necessarily but I’d rather watch some wacky comedy (although that Lupin the Third show was kinda funny just because it was really stupid).

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/16/2004 11:27 AM EST

More VT and more plastic squirrelseses!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/16/2004 12:12 PM EST

Matt, I’m sorry for the mistake, but have you seen the one I am talking about? It is the geekier office character giving the attractive office woman character Spongebob watches in hopes they can be more than friends, but she tells him that it won’t.

Ghosted by ME @ 11/16/2004 12:23 PM EST

http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/pokchichoose.jpg

I’ve recently stumbled upon a strange area of the site as you can see from the link above. Looks like all the articles are listed in order and there are also some weird photos, like the one in the link above dropped in for good measure.

HEY MATT, Who is that dude?

Ghosted by Pedro @ 11/16/2004 1:46 PM EST

HG is kinda cute. VT, too.

That is all.

Ghosted by Monte @ 11/16/2004 2:06 PM EST

Matt my kid saw your commercial and now he is a proud owner of a sbsp watch. I’m only glad he can’t read yet otherwise I might’ve had to find this nasty ass soda. I agree with Ninj on the best line. I laughed so hard my throat hurt.

Keep em coming Matt!!!

Ghosted by punkrockmom24_7 @ 11/16/2004 2:47 PM EST

Matt, we’re truly not worthy. I kneel and bow to you and your friends for a) finding this stuff b) consuming a limited numbered set that could have fetched hundreds of dollars on eBay and c) drinking it.

I would have thunk the cranberry to be good. I can buy President’s Choice Cranberry Sparkling Soda Pop Soft Drink (or something like that) here and it’s actually quite tasty, a bit tart just the way it should be.

If you run out of vile/weird stuff to eat or drink, come north of the border and you can get the grand tour. I’m sure my hubby will let you sleep on our couch with the cats (especially since he read your Halloween post where you put a vampire cape on your kitty). We’ll introduce you to the delightful grossness of Coffee Crisp milkshakes which is a drink based on a chocolate bar that’s based on a drink. Or you could review poutine (which Jones should try to turn into a soda)

trajeal, we could share host duties, and get him some chicken wings potato chips?

Ghosted by Yzziefrog @ 11/16/2004 5:15 PM EST

santa…two half naked boys..does anybody else find this strange?

Ghosted by zombone @ 11/16/2004 5:56 PM EST

Matt could come to CT anytime. I hope he brings earplugs, though. Three little girls can get very screechy. But, hey! We have Moxie here. Lots of fresh venison. Pumpkin flavored ice cream.

Don’t you guys have ketchup flavored potato chips in Canada?

Let’s send him to Louisianna and feed him crawfish jumbalaya w/ a side of that yooge snake Adam Sandler ate in Waterboy.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 11/16/2004 8:08 PM EST

you bought it

Ghosted by loshermanos @ 11/16/2004 10:08 PM EST

and to think some people think that beverly (a nasty-tasting soda that they have at epcot for free) is the worst soda ever.

Ghosted by figment1988 @ 11/16/2004 10:57 PM EST

DAMMIT!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF TOM VISITS THE MAYOR!!!!!!!!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/16/2004 11:14 PM EST

HG is sodalicious!

Ghosted by Hattie @ 11/16/2004 11:36 PM EST

ya man, ketchup chips are the cats pajamas up here,im surprised theyre not in the states its just such a regular thing here

Ghosted by diarrhea dave @ 11/17/2004 12:24 PM EST

Got 2 sets pre-ordered for this Thursday, can’t wait. Great article Matt!

Ghosted by jayce @ 11/17/2004 2:30 AM EST

how do your female co-workers feel about being oogled by x-e readers nationwide, matt?

Ghosted by cartvandal @ 11/17/2004 5:31 AM EST

haha yea, how do they feel? haha yea i must admit vt is cutie, my coworkers all think so too.

Ghosted by manny phesto @ 11/17/2004 7:22 AM EST

Matt- Last night I had a vivid and powerful dream about you, me and the XE Christmas Countdown….I dreamed (drempt?) that I DROVE (no small feat, since I just moved to Korea) to your place to give you a copy of "Muppet Family Christmas", the best damn Xmas special ever, since you didnt have a copy….I had to come online right away and ask- DO YOU KNOW OF THIS AMAZING XMAS SPECIAL? It has everyone- the Muppets, the Sesame Street Gang AND….the FRAGGLES! All things Henson, combined for Xmas!!!

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/17/2004 8:18 AM EST

VS SAYS:
"I will never drink this again. Ever."

Ghosted by dfgddg @ 11/17/2004 10:03 AM EST

Trajeal-I’m in Louisiana, we could all take turns hosting Matt! It would be like XE on the road, finding strange cultural quirks across the country, perhaps the world!

But then, I do live in a dorm, not the best guest accommodations here, so perhaps this idea is flawed.

Ghosted by Mara @ 11/17/2004 12:14 PM EST

Also-

Does anyone else feel the love between the kid that’s about to get it’s face pecked off and the turkey on the Turkey and Gravy soda label?

Ghosted by Mara @ 11/17/2004 12:17 PM EST

tom goes to the mayor was wierd.

Ghosted by zombone @ 11/17/2004 1:28 PM EST

Hmmm… ketchup potato chips… the best ones leave your fingers really red. Now I have a craving. Maybe I’ll have to go out and get some with some Hiliday Spice Pepsi – for colour co-ordination.

I tried it the other day and it wasn’t half as bad as I expected it to be.

We can send Matt to Newfoundland so he can try something called Screech – this stuff will fry your brain better than acid, punch a hole through your stomach and turn your mouth into a wasteland. Good drinking times. Maybe Screech mixed with Green Bean Soda would actually taste good – or at least you wouldn’t care about the taste anyhow.

Ghosted by Yzziefrog @ 11/17/2004 9:02 PM EST

Lol! Screech! I grew up in Nova Scotia.. Many a weekend was spent in Newfoundland..

:D Ahhhhh memories!

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 11/17/2004 9:23 PM EST

We should hook Matt up w/ John Ratzenburger so they can tour North America and eat poutine and fried oysters while riding John Deere tractors and playing banjos. Now, that would be a show I’d watch every week.

I found a TMNT chap stick from 1990 a the thrift store today. There’s no way I’m trying it, so you’ll have to leave the flavor up to your imagination. Hey, I have kids to raise. I don’t think social security would be too keen on paying out for someone who died from tasting 14 year old chap stick. Well, at least my kids would have a good story to tell.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 11/18/2004 1:48 AM EST

Traj-What flavor does the label indicate? Strawberry? Lime? Turtle?

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/18/2004 3:37 AM EST

Or how about ninja flavored chapstick? Hmm. Ninja-flavoured. I like the sound of that. Ninja-Flavored popsicles. Ninja-Flavored candy. Ninja-Flavored condoms? I think I’m the first person on the internet to ever say "Ninja-Flavored." Just like how I was the first to say "bandana ice cream." Can you guess what I was talking about? It also had to to do with TMNT.

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/18/2004 3:41 AM EST

Dammit, where is Matt? I need to know if he knows what I am talking about….does ANYONE know about the magic of the "Muppet Family Xmas" special??

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 11/18/2004 5:45 AM EST

"but if renegotiating your mouse pointer and typing in "Google" is way too much work"

How well you know me, Matt.

Awesome article.

Ghosted by Molten @ 11/18/2004 6:13 AM EST

Whew, both this and Fark went down yasserday. I wet myself… mentally.

Ghosted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 11/18/2004 6:16 AM EST

No shit, this and Fark are the only sites I care about. I went through a whole ordeal that involved switching out my computer with one that ended up not working, only to hook my old one back up and discover it was a server problem. I was about to cry I felt so stupid. I was positive it was my crappy computer too, so at least my compie is safe from the trash heap for another day ^_^
Joy to the world, X-E and Fark are back
And in other news, I desperately need a life =P

Ghosted by *M*S*I* @ 11/18/2004 7:07 AM EST

Nate, it’s cherry flavored. Well, that’s what it says, anyway. It smells like plain wax. It’s still pinkish, though.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 11/18/2004 10:48 AM EST

It articles like this that make me remember why I LOVE this website so much!

Ghosted by Meg @ 11/18/2004 11:27 AM EST

The temporary lockout happened here, too. I panicked, but later that day, my oldest nephew said there were problems accessing at his school. So I quit whimpering and crawled out of the corner and got back to sub-normal.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/18/2004 11:27 AM EST

Kinglash, I also freaked out. The thought of losing x-e.com depresses me.

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 11/18/2004 2:14 PM EST

I guess I’m not the only obsessive one. When I clicked on it at work and I got the error message, I almost hyperventilated. Then I checked later at home and the same thing happened. I thought that maybe Matt had taken the site down to put up the Christmas scheme. But no suck luck :)

Ghosted by Y2JB78 @ 11/18/2004 2:24 PM EST

There was one time where I thought X-E was down for good. I was new to X-E at the time, and I tried to log on once. What I got was something saying that the domain name was for sale. I should’ve realised that the URL I had entered was "www.xentertainment.com" I spent ten minutes wondering why would sell such a fun and extensive website only to realise that I had entered the wrong URL. LOL

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/18/2004 2:39 PM EST

I live in Ny and Faygo is the white trash endorsed soft drink around here.
BTW, RedPop is the best flavor ever.

Ghosted by Evan @ 11/18/2004 2:39 PM EST

Correction:
In sert "Matt" between "why" and "would."

Oh, and thanks for responding, Traj. Hmmm. Cherry-flavored TMNT chapstick. I wonder if it’s anything like your run-of-the-mill cherry-flavored candy. Probably not, but I guess I’ll never know.

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/18/2004 2:42 PM EST

Screech will turn your insides into a molten black hole of death. Your mouth will be on fire! I’d prefer to eat stank ass ketchup chips anyday than drink that vile stuff. It’s always fun to go down to George and watch the tourists stagger around trying to find somewhere to spit the crap out! :) MUPPET BABY: The Muppet Family Christmas comes on T.V. every year at least 500 times. Start looking for it next month.

Ghosted by don't open those stinky-ass ketchup chips in my car!! @ 11/18/2004 2:59 PM EST

Ridley Scott’s HALO?
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=18842
I would hope this please Mr. Bitner, and we could start a campaign to get him in the movie.

Ghosted by ME @ 11/18/2004 3:05 PM EST

Geez, I need to slow down when I type. I meant:
"I hope this idea would also please Mr. Bitner,"

Ghosted by ME @ 11/18/2004 3:07 PM EST

Dancing Citroen Transformer
http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/robots/dancing-citroen-transformer-025638.php

Ghosted by ME @ 11/18/2004 3:55 PM EST

That commercial was cool, but it reminded me of something I saw a few months ago.

Breakdancing Transformer:

http://www.wilenkin.com/transformers/Video_player_06_content.html

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 11/18/2004 4:39 PM EST

That’s gotta b one of the sweetest things I’ve seen on the Internet.. Nice find! ;)

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 11/18/2004 5:02 PM EST

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 14th, 2004 at 4:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.