X-Entertainment | The Jones Soda Holiday Pack, reviewed.

The Jones Soda Holiday Pack, reviewed.

Okay, it's not the most important X-E article in history -- that was a lie -- but this review of the Jones Soda Holiday Pack provides the most vile materials ever found on the site. The already famous set includes cola flavors like "Turkey & Gravy" and "Green Bean Casserole," and I've enlisted the help of four friends from work to tell you how disgusting all of it is. Enjoy. Had to postpone the scheduled (ha) Macy's Parade review until next weekend, but for the sake of potato juice, you'll have to accept it.

Posted by Matt on 11/14/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 188 comments

1 2 3 … 8 Next »

Firsties? Firsties?!?

Chestnuts roasted by VeganMike @ 11/14/2004 4:54 PM

There it is, baby. Nectar of the demi-gods.

Now that I got that off my chest, I’m going to read the article. Whee!

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 11/14/2004 4:55 PM

i hope the new job ain’t that cool, because you’re gonna get nothing but hell from your co-workers

Chestnuts roasted by urquidez @ 11/14/2004 4:58 PM

My tastebuds killed themselves one by one as I was reading.

Chestnuts roasted by jessica @ 11/14/2004 4:59 PM

Hmmm…so Fruitcake was the best out of the 5? Interesting…

Best. Article. Ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/14/2004 5:02 PM

Norbert- I agree, this was prolly one of the best articles in XE history. I think anytime we get a look into Matt’s private life, it carries some kind of special significance. (hey everyone loves their host rite?)

You didn’t offer any to your boss did you?

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 11/14/2004 5:21 PM

yum, baby…YUMMMM

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/14/2004 5:23 PM

Man usually green bean caserole makes me sick. I bet its all the MsG in the little Crunchy French’s things on top though. I wonder if the soda would make me sick too. They should do forth of July holiday pack with Hot Dog and Hamburger soda and macoroni and potato salad soda. I wonder what other holidays they could do.

Chestnuts roasted by Pat @ 11/14/2004 5:24 PM

Wow, what a long article. Sweet!

You should link the owl pellet to the owl pellet dissection you did awhile ago. That was a great article. http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0715/

So, what number in the sequence did you get? Are you saving the bottles? Did you save some to give to Brent and Candice to drink on the air?

Thank you, VS, SD, HG and VT for your participation. Without you, the pictures would have been so boring (since we hardly ever see Matt’s face when it’s not hidden behind dark sunglasses or swirly contact lenses). Also, your added handwriten notes really shook things up.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 11/14/2004 5:24 PM

Speaking of nasty drinks I almost puked when I saw those people choking down those rat smoothies on Fear Factor. I caught the footage on Best Week Ever on VH-1. VH-1 seems to be more concerned about pop culture than videos these days but thats not entirely bad except whenever they have that bastard comedian Ant on one of their shows…ugh.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/14/2004 5:26 PM

Ah, Jones Soda… a love affair I do share with you… The soda tends to have a few goods flavours that will rock you pretty silly, but then they have some flavours that are extreme misses. It’s weird, they either make them really good, or so bad you want to stab yourself in the nipples.

Chestnuts roasted by Andre @ 11/14/2004 5:29 PM

Woah, that’s one of the more disgusting things I’ve ever heard of.. niiiiice!

Thanks to Matt, VS, SD, HG and VT for putting your lives on the line for the greater good.
I’m going to go drink some amonia now; I bet that will taste better than this stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 11/14/2004 5:31 PM

Oh yeah, and I can’t forget to mention how much Hal Sparks and that gap-toothed dude suck too. I’d rather have sulferic acid dropped in my eyes slowly and get thousands of papercuts on my nutsack.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/14/2004 5:32 PM

Funny how my girlfriend and I were talking about this sort of thing last night…we were in the local 24-hour ScaryHomelessBumMart™ looking for snacks and happened past "Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans".

Hurl-flavored jellybeans, you now have the Chardonnay to your smooth, creamy Brie.

Chestnuts roasted by MonsterDog @ 11/14/2004 5:33 PM

the soda not withstanding… It’s good to see that every floor full of cubicles that MTV has looks exactly the same no matter what building.

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 11/14/2004 5:37 PM

Phunqsauce, ITA w/ you about Ant. You’re gay, we get it, dude. Dat Phan’s mother is annoying, and you’re gay. Okie dokie. Move on now.

Although, I do happen to like Hal Sparks. Calling his followers "Hal-epenos" (in reference to David Koresh calling his followers the "Davidians (or Shrist calling his followers "Christians, natch)) actually made me LOL. I don’t agree w/ his political views at all, but he has great comedic timing. Wasn’t he on Queer as Folk, too?
I’m not sure which gap toothed guy you’re taling about. Mo Rocca? Ian Micheal Taylor Thomas Black? David Letterman?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 11/14/2004 5:47 PM

Wow.. I can’t believe anyone would have the cajones to drink that crap. Still, pretty good article. Can’t wait for the Macy’s reviews.. Best part of the season articles, even if it is only the second year.

Chestnuts roasted by Chad "1m" Mosher @ 11/14/2004 6:06 PM

Recipe for actual green bean casserole: click here.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 11/14/2004 6:25 PM

I, at first, wanted to try those just for the heck of it. But, it seems that they’re in very short supply… And also very disgusting. Well, I don’t have to find out for myself, now. You’ve done the world a great service, Matt.

Too many damn commas…

Chestnuts roasted by Paul Ortego @ 11/14/2004 6:25 PM

That… was… AWESOME! The only thing I don’t like about your webstie, Matt, is that it usually makes me want to search for whatever it is you review. And I either don’t find it and sink into a deep depression or i do find it and waste $100 on something like turkey soda, and then i sink into a deep depression because i spent $100 on turkey soda or some such nonsense.
anyways… rock rock on.

Chestnuts roasted by mysteryguycalvin @ 11/14/2004 6:28 PM

"Everyone likes mashed potatoes, but choking down the juiced form reminds me of the time I got a rare spider bite and was told by the witch doctor that the only way to live was by drinking the relived liquid of his parrot. I still can’t believe I fell for it, the guy so didn’t look like a real witch doctor."

Best line of the article.

Oh, and the gap-toothed guy on Best Week Ever is comedian Paul F Tompkins, he had his own Comedy Central Presents about a year ago

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/14/2004 6:37 PM

That reminds me, i was gonna ask you if you could start providing links or something that we could get some of the crap put up on this site… starting w/ the treehouse trolls DVD which I’ve unsucessfully tried to dig up.

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 11/14/2004 6:39 PM

Those sodas sound like they would taste nastier than this kind of Faygo chocolate soda I tried once. Never again. Chocolate is one thing that NEVER should be made into a soda pop flavor. There’s also a cocoanut creme kind too. Eeeew.

Does anybody know what I’m talking
about with Faygo,or is it just a Midwest thing?

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 11/14/2004 7:22 PM

Matt, great article! You’ve almost never included your social life in an article. Anyway, can you put your website in an ad you do? Maybe subliminally or something. It would probably get a lot of viewers on you website.

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 11/14/2004 7:34 PM

I’m still wiping the tears out of my eyes from the comment about the mashed potato flavour – "Tastes like mashed potatos with a side of dirty ass." Even just thinking about it now is making me burst into laughter again. Great article Matt, and great friends to be your guinea pigs.

Can’t wait for the next round of Macy’s parade reviews…

Chestnuts roasted by Ninj @ 11/14/2004 7:43 PM

1 2 3 … 8 Next »

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 14th, 2004 at 4:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.