No. No! Yes. I want see the special included utensils put to work. This even beats out that suspect pine Scottish ale I bought us one Christmas (surprisingly, it didn’t taste like a car freshener).
I thought that Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies wre bad — ’til curiosity got the better of me and I tried the Harry Potter Booger flavour. I think I spent the better part of a minute rinsing and spitting.
Ghosted by Molten @ 11/12/2004 6:21 PM EST
Not to dwell from the subject but I got a new computer at work and had to get my favorites list filled in manually. To find this site I used the phrase "giant ape juice" on yahoo. Just thought I’d let Matt know we are now the #1 hit for Giant ape juice. Took long enough.
Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/12/2004 6:41 PM EST
We need to work on Google for Giant Ape Juice. Can’t wait to hear the results of Jones goodness if you’re still alive to tell it.
Ghosted by Matt(#2?) @ 11/12/2004 7:16 PM EST
Haha awesome I can’t wait for the article. Try not to puke.
Ghosted by Meatwad @ 11/12/2004 7:37 PM EST
i demand you send me new pants, because i just crapped mine
Ghosted by urquidez tastes like snozzberries @ 11/12/2004 9:33 PM EST
Giant Ape Juice? Really? Giant Ape Juice? I just googled Giant Ape Juice and unfortunately, we were #2 for the search of Giant Ape Juice. Yes, I said Giant Ape Juice. What’s wrong with Giant Ape Juice?
Hee!
Ghosted by Giant Ape Juice @ 11/12/2004 9:46 PM EST
Does anyone else like the show Drawn Together??? I thought it would suck but I kinda liked it. It’s a hell of a lot better than that fuckin’ Kid Notorious show they tried to pair up with South Park.
Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/12/2004 10:36 PM EST
I caught Drawn Together for the first time last night, after the new South Park (which was…just wrong) and even though I was hoping to like it, I found it to be awful. Not just awful, but shitty and unfunny and not a very good parody of Real World or a single one of the cartoon genres they were trying to lampoon. Not even Ace Carolla could save it; I tuned out after 12 minutes. Kid Notorious was similarly terrible, but it had Niecy Nash AND Slash, so it wasn’t quite as irredeemable.
Drawn Together’s pretty bad. It must be the easiest thing in the world to write scripts for, though. "Hey, this part needs to be funny–let’s put in a penis again!"
Where’s the Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream soda?!?! What’s more Thanksgiving than that?
Ghosted by Shonuf1 @ 11/13/2004 1:37 AM EST
I came rushing home from work to read this article and it hasn’t even posted yet! I looked forward to it all day! MATT, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!!
Ghosted by Gaidenn @ 11/13/2004 1:50 AM EST
Well, well, well, Matty-boy. Looks like you just how get all the vegans to come to your site. Or two of the vegans. Yea! Two!
Ghosted by Tougi @ 11/13/2004 2:23 AM EST
Come on.. nothing’s more important than the green bamboo peanut, is it… Matt? Is it?!
Ghosted by Efbeie @ 11/13/2004 3:53 AM EST
If Im going to kill myself with holiday flavored sodas, Im going to take my chances with the pine flavored Pepsi. I commend you on your willingness to drink carbonated turkey, though I really hope you’ve thought this through. Wake me up when Jones markets Kwanzaa Cola.
Ghosted by pulseczar @ 11/13/2004 6:05 AM EST
Wow. That stuff looks vile. Matt is going to drink it!!!
Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 11/13/2004 9:23 AM EST
Geez, I could have used these that Thanksgiving when my jaw was wired shut….
Ghosted by Jillybeann @ 11/13/2004 12:39 PM EST
holy dog shit….ive been pissed off ever since they stopped selling jones at the store in my town
Ghosted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 11/13/2004 1:48 PM EST
God damn though what kind of evil genius would come up with a turkey flavoured pop?
Ghosted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 11/13/2004 1:49 PM EST
and to think all of us canuckle heads get to miss such great holiday cheer. seeing as how we had t-giving back in october. i wonder if this is a bad thing??
Ghosted by Gene @ 11/13/2004 2:48 PM EST
Giant Ape Juice, only from the freshest Giant Apes. Direct from the Giant Ape vinyards in a secluded part of the Napa Valley, hand-picked and gently washed. The only cruelty-free Giant Ape bottling plant in the
Western Hemisphere. Try it straight up with a twist of pork rind.
Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/13/2004 3:35 PM EST
Oh dear god. I so have to try that stuff this year!
Ghosted by Komichi @ 11/13/2004 4:12 PM EST
i cant wait to read this article! PLEASE take shots of your reaction. i think it would be hilaaaarious (brian from family guy style). Keep up the good work!!
Ghosted by VolklMonkey @ 11/13/2004 5:55 PM EST
Once upon a time there lived a Giant Ape Juice right across the street from the Giant Ape Juice factory. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Giant Ape juice came to say all your Giant Ape Juice are belong to us at the Giant Ape Juice aka North Pole. Yea, though we walk through the valley of darkness.. we shall fear no Walmart for Giant Ape Juice art with us. Thy Giant Ape Juice as thy staff and Barnum and Bailey as shepards. Low and behold the Giant Ape Juice cometh like Ozzfest from hell.
The End.
PS: Giant Ape Juice
Ghosted by Matt(#2?) @ 11/13/2004 6:40 PM EST
People don’t like real fruit cake, why would they want it in drink form???
I don’t get it. My brain is telling me "no," but my heart is screaming out "yes!" It’s like forbidden dance. I must try this holiday inspired Jones Soda.
Ghosted by Erin @ 11/13/2004 11:29 PM EST
alright, everyone hate me…….
i will splatter my existance within what is considered reality
Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/13/2004 11:56 PM EST
Oh LORD! I WANT THEM!
I hate living in Canada. We never get the good stuff!
Ghosted by Isca @ 11/14/2004 12:48 PM EST
I used to work at Panera Bread, and we sold this crap.Chochlate soda any one?Oh dear lord that was an abmoination to the taste buds.Probably those will be the best flavors ever LOL, enjoy!
Ghosted by Orchalcyon @ 11/14/2004 1:33 AM EST
Pepsi should pay you a lil bit because the blurb here on holiday spice seems to have inspired many cackers to run out and try it; myself being one of said cackers.
Ghosted by beauxreigard st dookchute @ 11/14/2004 5:27 AM EST
Can someone send me some of that good ole Holiday Spice Pepsi?
The commissaries suck over here in Germany. And don’t get me started on the PX…we probably won’t get GTA: San Andreas or Smackdown vs Raw until March or so…
Guess that means next Christmas I’ll get GT4 and Metal Gear Solid 3.
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Ghosted by EMajorwitz @ 11/14/2004 6:44 AM EST
Wow, I tip my hat to you man if you’re going to drink that crap. Good luck.
Matt-OK, the weekend’s just about over, and I don’t see any new article yet. R U pullin our leg!?!
Ghosted by Nate @ 11/14/2004 8:05 AM EST
Dont rush the man …. it takes a special kind of guy to drink those monsterous concoctions. He’s obviously just building up the tension … and courage.
I have faith in Matt.
Ghosted by Mark @ 11/14/2004 12:27 PM EST
He probably drank the green bean cassarole one is is now in the hospital, geting his stomach pumped. We wish you well, Matt! Don’t choke on that charcoal tasting stuff they make you drink. You are a true man among webhounds.
Ghosted by trajeal @ 11/14/2004 1:45 PM EST
He’s dead, Jim.
Ghosted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 11/14/2004 2:05 PM EST
‘Twas nice knowing him. Such a bold soul for trying to drink those foul liquids.
Ghosted by Hammer @ 11/14/2004 3:36 PM EST
Poor old Matt….. Letting his mouth write cheques that his ass can’t cash!
I’m kidding really, I appreciate all the hours of free entertainment Matt has bestowed upon us.
Ghosted by Paul B. @ 11/14/2004 3:36 PM EST
OK, a few things:
- Everybody keeps referring to these as "sodas" – they are actually juices, there isn’t any carbonation. Jones makes juices and sodas.
- Crystal Pepsi was awesome. Am I the only one that really liked it?
- I really hope Matt didn’t die drinking this stuff. That would be like if ODB died or something. Oh wait. Nevermind.
Ghosted by Aaron @ 11/14/2004 4:50 PM EST
The Chia Plot! The Final Instalment! That’s the most important, and we still ain’t seen it yet. So my Evil Pony is out to get ya. Click on me name!
Erik, I tried the Pepsi Spice, and it’s… interesting.
I wonder how well bottles of this would survive a trip to Germany?
Ghosted by yzziefrog @ 11/16/2004 11:15 AM EST
Being British, i’m bummed i didn’t hear about the great drinks earlier but looking to the future i’m hoping to hear how the advent calendar pans out, i mean last year’s had me on the edge of my seat only to be robbed of a conclusion. Matt, you’re a star but come on get your act together and you can share my sweet sweet vodka, it has bubbles in it!!!!
Ghosted by Addicted to photog @ 11/16/2004 9:50 PM EST
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Posted by Matt. 
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I so have to try that stuff this year!
No. No! Yes. I want see the special included utensils put to work. This even beats out that suspect pine Scottish ale I bought us one Christmas (surprisingly, it didn’t taste like a car freshener).
I thought that Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellies wre bad — ’til curiosity got the better of me and I tried the Harry Potter Booger flavour. I think I spent the better part of a minute rinsing and spitting.