Still putting together the next Macy's Parade review, which'll be up next Sunday. As those who've read the previous features know, one of the big points of glory surrounding these parades were the insane amount of holiday-themed commercials shown during the breaks. Thanksgiving's true meaning notwithstanding, the occasion is important to most of us for three things: a day off, a lot of food, and the true ushering in of the Christmas season. After you sleep off the tryptophan, it's time to start shopping.
So, to tide y'all over before the big feature this weekend, here's one of the ads from the 1987 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade -- a Toys 'R' Us commercial peddling the then still fairly new Nintendo Entertainment System, successfully converting the few remaining Atari boys to slaves of Mario. The NES had already taken off by the time the spot aired, but with the addition of several classic titles (some of which kicking off franchises that still exist today), Nintendo was about to take an even bigger chunk of the big money pie. Big money pies aren't edible but can be traded for pies that are.
We kick off with a shot of a kid sleeping in the lower bunk, drifting off to slumbertown with a big goofy grin on his face. With no clear sight of the boy's hands, we mustn't assume prelim masturbation. Actually, he's only giggling because when Mr. Sandman punches him in the face, he starts dreaming about Mr. Sandman punching him in the face. Only the second Mr. Sandman looks like a chocolate Bald Bull. Somewhere in this paragraph is something that makes sense.
Led by Geoffrey into Toys 'R' Us much in the same way God will lead you to the smoking section of Angelic Cloud #47 Level C after you DIE, the dreaming child envisions himself in the midst of every wee lad's biggest fantasy. He's gone to TRU before, sure, but never with a giraffe, and never after dark when there's no other kids around to steal the good stuff a second before he can dive at it. This is the kind of dream that makes you protest ever having to be awake.
Notice how he doesn't pay attention to the board games? If you've got a wish-granting giraffe by the balls and it's your dream to direct, why waste time on Topple and Mouse Trap? There's more expensive stuff to wrap your sleepy arms around, and to the boys of 1987, only one thing in the world mattered. Nintendo wasn't a way of life, it was life. It's for this reason that I can remember what the idiot fish who ate Mario were called but still cannot add, spell or tie my own shoes.
And thar she blows! Priced at an affordable 79.97 (actually much lower than its original retail), the Nintendo Entertainment System was the #1 gift choice amongst the four kids who didn't get the thing a year prior. "Batteries not included?" Don't recall ever throwing a battery into my Nintendo, unless they're talking about those small gold pills we fed to busted Zelda cartridges.
The ad also promoted the Zapper (and by association, Duck Hunt), proving in plain view that nobody who owned the light gun could resist standing just two inches from the television for extra special aim. Other games were on sale for thirty bucks and up, while the assortment featured in the second pic displays some of my all time faves, including the irresistible Pro-Wrestling, starring King Slender and a mutant lizard whose finishing hold alternated between eating his opponent's face and giving them a noogie.
Sleepin' Boy Guy wakes up and compares dreams with his older brother, confident that he's had the best dream in the history of dreaming. I can't really argue with it, but hold out some skepticism as one would think his dream could've been even better had it incorporated a clown on fire.
Click here to download the commercial! (.WMV)
Posted by Matt on 11/08/2004. E-mail me!
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I bought mine in ’89 and have never had any major problems with the carts. first of all, you NEVER, EVER blow on the metal contacts! You wouldn’t want somebody slobbering all over your cell phone or DVD player, would you? Also, I once opened up my NES and very gently tugged on the interior contacts in the cartridge interface. Slowly bending them forward. No more blinking screen! But, I still give my carts a good cleaning with alcohol or Windex, (or a 50/50 mix) and a occasional pass with the end of a popsicle stick. Odd technique, but it gets the gunk off.