It was called “Lymon,” or perhaps “Limon,” depending on who you were talking to. Coca Cola’s Sprite brand was said to include this mysterious ingredient, in fact the only soft drink who could boast that claim. Represented in the commercials as a half lime, half lemon mutant fruit from the sacred isle of forbiddance, I spent my childhood under the very false notion that Lymon was indeed a real fruit. Rare, yes, but perfectly real. Every time I was forced to go to the supermarket on a tagalong, I’d excavate the produce section, carefully hunting for the elusive Lymon which was certainly hiding beyond some tripled bunches of celery. Sprite was not my drink of choice, but I was sure that pure, concentrated Lymon could be juiced into a citrus porridge so right even the bears wouldn’t blame you for drinking it.
I’ve since smartenered up. I know Lymon cannot possibly be orchestrated, not even by Wisconsin native John Trinsino, who in 1957 invented the cranberry. This doesn’t mean Lymon isn’t the greatest idea in the history of progressive thought, and should anyone out there be able to dish the magic seeds that’ll lead me to the magic sourbulb, I will make you breakfast and play the harp while you eat it. I’ve tried cutting lemons and limes in half and mashing ‘em together, but it’s not the same. Lymon, you’re everything but love.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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Don’t look at me, I’m still on the search for the elusive "UnCola Nut." Lady trajeal probably knows what I am talking about.