Meet my very special new bestest friend in the whole wide world, Standing Skull Man. A once expensive and absolutely gigantic Halloween decoration marked down to comparable peanuts during the final days for stores to milk our holiday spirit, Standing Skull Man topples in at nearly seven feet tall and serves as the perfect gift for you know, that guy, the one who has everything.

Physical Challenge: Draw a picture of a pumpkin with Dracula's hand coming out of it, somehow incorporate a goldfish, and attach a small flag to the pumpkin's stem with the slogan of your choice. Send them to me. (alternate address for bouncebacks: click here) No prizes, but all but the most vicariously embarrassing submissions will be posted this weekend as part of a half-assed Halloween X-E bash. You must follow all the directions stated or I will print out your entry and dare someone to shit on it. Feel free to scan crayon/marker pics or just use whatever comp progs you've got going.