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Scary Contact Lenses & Pet Costumes!

And just like that, we're all caught up! Hooray! A site approached me wanting to advertise, but I asked if they wouldn't mind just giving me a discount in return for a review instead. I've wanted these things for years, dating way back to when I was a REBELLYUS high school freshman in 1961. So, here's the Halloween review of Scary Contact Lenses. Four different pairs, from "Cateye" to "Whiteout." I gotta admit, I love the things. I'm past the point where I could be all fringe and wear 'em to the grocery store, but they'll be awesome for Halloween and other occasions when the general public couldn't make fun of me.

The company who sells 'em, Party Lenses, was super cool to do this, and their prices are undeniably on the cheap. I know pairs sell for like a hundred bucks and up if you hit up the wonderful mall; Party Lenses' prices are much cheaper. If you're ever gonna buy a pair of these, try doing it through them so they get a little payback for the nice gesture.

Also, the late entry for Saturday digs into the seedy world of Halloween costumes for your pets, featuring a series of photos where I maim and torture one of our cats for the good of the holiday.

Posted by Matt on 10/17/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 58 comments

I love these lenses too, but I wanted to offer a correction to Matt’s review. These kinds of lenses ARE available in prescription strength at various websites like Visiondirect.com. If I had the money to blow, I’d get the kind that Brad Pitt wore in "Interview with a Vampire"!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Juniper_6 @ 10/17/2004 10:01 PM

I’ve always wanted to try the costumes on my cat & dog, but I just can’t be that evil! The closest thing is having our dog wear a Great Pumpkin bandana around his neck. Good enough I suppose.
As for the lenses, they would be perfect to complete a costume.
Keep ‘em rollin’ Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Croww @ 10/17/2004 10:30 PM

Trajeal,

I got a kick out of your "black oil eyeball look" comment! I just spotted the reference.

Chestnuts roasted by Croww @ 10/17/2004 10:32 PM

You can totally buy prescription crazy contacts… but they’re about $150 a pair. I was looking into a pair of all-black contacts to be Sandman last year, but just couldn’t pay that much

Chestnuts roasted by VeganMike @ 10/17/2004 10:47 PM

I have a pair of red prescription lenses that I wear as my every day contacts. They were only $45 a piece from my eye doctor. The only thing that sucks is that vision insurance doesn’t cover them but they are worth it. They are conversation starters, senior citizen repellant, and look cool in the process. Scaring little kids is the best. They also work well in hockey games. After I slam some pour sap into the boards I love glaring into his eyes and uttering some guttural Sumerian. Scares ‘em shitless. I love my contacts.

Chestnuts roasted by MasterGakke @ 10/18/2004 1:37 AM

Ooh, I like the white ones. The catseye and those lizard types creep me out, and the completely black ones remind me of the X-Files.

Ok, I’ll be the latest addition to agree on your hotty factor, Matt. :D Oh, and please excuse us, Ms. Matt’s Girlfriend, we hope we don’t inflate his head too big … right, everyone? ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 10/18/2004 1:53 AM

I sure they don’t have them in toric form, right? My left eye has astigmatism and my right eye is nearsighted, so my leftie has to kill the fun for all. I couldn’t even get those amethyst lenses that I wanted so bad – I had to stick with honey(which wern’t all that bad, actually, but they’re not purpley!).

P.S. – although I’m taken by a really hot geek(the only man in the world that can still look hot while dressed like a deviled egg), I’m going to jump on the "Matt’s Hot" bandwagon. Does that make us groupies?

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 10/18/2004 6:05 AM

No shit, i have seen dog weddings. dogs in dresses and tux’s. gayest thing Evah!

Chestnuts roasted by Evan @ 10/18/2004 9:15 AM

Now that’s a right kick in the eyeballs. I have asigmatism and weird luck with simple things, so I won’t wear contacts just due to the fear that I will somehow be the first person in history to be decapitated by my own lenses. But I do like the circuit board ones I saw once.

My Sister-in-Law’s cat (aka the goddess of ill will and bad tidings) absoulutly hates costumes. So, of course, there is a picture of her wearing Easter Bunny ears. You’ve never been given a "Go to Hell" look until you get one from a 19-year-old cat. All cats can say "No!" if they have to, but it takes humiliation to make them say it clearly. Trust me on that one.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/18/2004 11:57 AM

They don’t ship to Europe! :(

Chestnuts roasted by Lodin @ 10/18/2004 12:29 PM

Oh, I agree with Trajeal…I totally haven’t laughed this hard since the Hermit Crab article…cats + costumes = hilarity!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 10/18/2004 1:47 PM

Oh I just remembered what the white lenses remind me of! It’s been bugging me …

In Stargate, when Ra was about to kick some ass, or was just really pissed, his eyes would glow like that.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 10/18/2004 1:58 PM

I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Rey Mysterio in regards to the white out lenses. That was my first thought seeing ‘em.

But I’m weird that way. Its why I keep requesting a "Mac and Me" review.

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 10/18/2004 3:37 PM

Very funny articles Matt. I have to say that I do love it when you include your cats in the fun!

And, yeah, I’ll be the eighth to say, Matt you are a hottie!

Chestnuts roasted by Alison @ 10/18/2004 3:41 PM

Matt mentioned bridge, yay!
Yes, I’m such a big nerd that I like bridge.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 10/18/2004 6:32 PM

Dude… your a sick freak… dressing animals up like vampires, and shit…

Nah, just kidding, thats funny as hell man! Tormenting your pets is as good for passing time, as driving down an alley, in a large vehichle, and running over trash cans!

Both can pass as the new american past time!

Chestnuts roasted by Wicked Nick @ 10/19/2004 12:40 PM

Aaaawwww, Lenox is soooo cute! He reminds my of my little Puffball. Except she’s fluffier, although has similar coat markings. She tends to go "maaaaa-aaaaa" when she’s really upset (or letting me have it cos she’s hungry now dammit) so she just ends up sounding like an angry sheep.

How about some more cat pictures, Matt?

Chestnuts roasted by eminentfreakthemighty @ 10/19/2004 1:56 AM

Matt,

In the future, I would appreciate your cooperation in one simple endeavor… namely, that you not post a picture of yourself right next to a paragraph where you talk about your balls. I cannot explain my request, I just simply ask that you take this into consideration. Thanks for your time.

- Night_Trekker

(P.S. Those contacts OWN! If I actually get around to making a costume this year, I’ll probably buy a pair.)

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 10/19/2004 8:40 AM

Best article in a while, Matt. Love the cat.

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 10/19/2004 1:34 PM

I’ve always wanted a pair of coloured lenses… Those rule.

And yeah, Matt is a hotty. (Surely not the only gay Matt fan)

Chestnuts roasted by Zev @ 10/19/2004 7:03 PM

Hey matt, is that purple hair???? i tooooo have purple hair! I thought i was the only one!

Chestnuts roasted by soapdish uk @ 10/19/2004 8:34 PM

Oh my god, that looks just like my cat! You bastard! You stole Little One!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 10/19/2004 10:45 PM

I have asygmatism and I wear contacts, they got available about a year and a half ago, I started wearing them about 7 months ago. I don’t think people with asygmatism can wear costume lenses but I am looking into it, that just fits my personality to a tea. I think I would get the fire ones or all white ones. The creepier the better.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/20/2004 3:41 AM

Sara: The name of your cat is ‘Little One’?

I can just imagine how malevolent you must sound when you’re looking for him/her.

"Where are you hiding, Little One?" "Come to me, Little One."

*shivers*

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 10/20/2004 10:29 AM

matt, you’re hot.

oh, great article too…..

Chestnuts roasted by VolklMonkey @ 10/20/2004 7:15 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, October 17th, 2004 at 4:48 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.