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Scary Contact Lenses & Pet Costumes!

And just like that, we're all caught up! Hooray! A site approached me wanting to advertise, but I asked if they wouldn't mind just giving me a discount in return for a review instead. I've wanted these things for years, dating way back to when I was a REBELLYUS high school freshman in 1961. So, here's the Halloween review of Scary Contact Lenses. Four different pairs, from "Cateye" to "Whiteout." I gotta admit, I love the things. I'm past the point where I could be all fringe and wear 'em to the grocery store, but they'll be awesome for Halloween and other occasions when the general public couldn't make fun of me.

The company who sells 'em, Party Lenses, was super cool to do this, and their prices are undeniably on the cheap. I know pairs sell for like a hundred bucks and up if you hit up the wonderful mall; Party Lenses' prices are much cheaper. If you're ever gonna buy a pair of these, try doing it through them so they get a little payback for the nice gesture.

Also, the late entry for Saturday digs into the seedy world of Halloween costumes for your pets, featuring a series of photos where I maim and torture one of our cats for the good of the holiday.

Posted by Matt on 10/17/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 58 comments

biZzam!! First! I say Matt should be Madd Corey Haim for Halloween this year, shave off a patch of hair and black out some teeth!!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 10/17/2004 5:00 PM

Man, how cool!! Those lenses rock. At least they didn’t give you some sports colored ones. I have seen people around here wearing Packer contact lenses. Fucking morons.

And I would kill to put a costume on one of my cats…but then again so would they, so there goes that thought. Oh well, I can dream. Or I could drug them.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 10/17/2004 5:03 PM

Third? Those contacts look pretty. Maybe I’ll pick me up a pair.

Chestnuts roasted by Meat Popsicle @ 10/17/2004 5:09 PM

Oooh those could solve my Halloween costume needs for this year…and many to come. Can you see normally through them?

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 10/17/2004 5:21 PM

Totally. Or very nearly totally. They’re not a nuisance at all.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/17/2004 5:22 PM

I take it the cat wouldn’t let you try the lenses on it either?

Chestnuts roasted by Whirred @ 10/17/2004 5:31 PM

Awesome. The only thing that raises a little red flag in the back of my mind is the paragraph on the bottom of the page saying that ebay won’t let him sell them on their site…But I’d trust the real life observations more than what ebay says anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 10/17/2004 5:32 PM

Wear one white contact and leave your othere eye plain and pretend you’re Kane. Or wear both of them and be Little Orphan Annie.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachuover @ 10/17/2004 5:36 PM

Oh man…I took a look at the partylenses site and they have lenses with little "x"s on them. "Knocked Out," I think they were called.

I want those so damn bad.

Chestnuts roasted by rachi99 @ 10/17/2004 5:59 PM

So I just spent a good 20 minutes chasing my cat around the apartment trying to get him to wear my Hallmark "Halloweenie Beanie" (shaped like a little bat,circa 1985.)

Lando (the cat in question) let it be known that he is already plenty spooky enough, being a black cat in possession of a healthy set of teeth and claws.

Chestnuts roasted by rachi99 @ 10/17/2004 6:07 PM

I had the pleasure of feeding my cat who I’ve only had for 3 weeks a worm pill this week. Not fun. I definitely wouldn’t want to go through something like that again and I’m pretty sure dressing him up for Halloween would be similar.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 10/17/2004 6:21 PM

Matt,
Not to sound gay, but those lenses make you look a lot younger. Maybe you could go the full nine and dress as a high school freshman circa 93-94 for Halloween, thus fufilling the unfufilled dream. Then, when you go the party and everyone asks you, "Who are you supposed to be?", you can look at them and say, "I am being myself, you should try it sometime." Oooooooo BURNNNN. Class of ’97 RULES!!!

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 10/17/2004 6:33 PM

Great for reducing ‘red-eye’ from those pesky digital cameras.

Chestnuts roasted by RT @ 10/17/2004 6:33 PM

matt youre a good looking guy ~_~

Chestnuts roasted by mia @ 10/17/2004 7:15 PM

Such cruelty….

Chestnuts roasted by Creature SH @ 10/17/2004 7:22 PM

I concur with Mia. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Bitchick @ 10/17/2004 8:00 PM

I agree-Matt’s a looker. Madd Matt’s not so bad himself either.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 10/17/2004 8:00 PM

Everyone knows Matt’s hot. And I’m old enough to be his… older sister. "Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson…"
I jest. I did grow up in the 80′s, but partly in the 70′s, too.

What’s your kitten’s name? Is he too new to have grown into something permanant? I was dying to name our dog Chili Dog, but Mr. Trajeal has no sense of humor, so his name is Mickey now. How generic. At least I was able to name our new kitten. Henry Kittenger, he became. Hey, w/o puns, where would we be?

I must say, I haven’t laughed out loud (see, it was so good, I wrote the whole thing out) so much since the Hermit Crab article. You really know how to make an image stick. The line about your cats karate chopping their faces to get the costume’s off is perfect imagery.
I think the spirit of Thurston Howell III just took over my brain there for a minute. "Money, money, money, my dear, Lovey."

How did you know what size contact lenses to get, if you don’t have to wear them to see? I’m as blind as Milton Waddams w/o my contact lenses, so I could never partake in the cool black oil eyeball look you all get to enjoy. I don’t think Fire Eye-land contacts would look too cool behind a pair of Coke bottles lenses. Sigh. Say Lah Vee. "Lah Vee."

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 10/17/2004 8:25 PM

Those contacts look really cool, and I’d honestly consider buying some if not for the strange looks I’d get for wearing them. Then again, I already get a lot of people commenting on my eyes since my left eye has a streak that’s darker than the rest of it going from the middle down. You’d be surprised how often people go, "Whoa! What’s wrong with your eye?!"

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica2 (since there's apparently another Jessica posting on the site) @ 10/17/2004 8:27 PM

Shout out to the class of ’97!!! Woo-hoo!!!

I think Matt should have saved himself the trouble by putting on the cat lenses and then Velcro-ing that little cape around his neck.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 10/17/2004 8:28 PM

Unfortunately, my astigmatism warped eyeballs won’t even allow me to wear prescription contact lenses, so I can’t join in the fun. The inconvenience of wearing glasses every waking moment has never been more painfully felt. The thing about Batman Returns and karate chops to the face had me in stitches, though.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/17/2004 8:45 PM

Dressing your pets on any occasion should be grounds for a public execution…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2004 8:47 PM

Yeah, yeah, Matt is hot and all that. But seriously, Matt, you need to look into some hairgel (or "styling products" depending on where you shop hehe) when posing for the crowd. ;) Kudos on another amusing yet informative review.

Chestnuts roasted by Clunk @ 10/17/2004 8:59 PM

Recently i’ve been obsessed with video game speed runs, particularly NES games and any game that has metroids in it. Check out these insanely fast video game speed runs at this site:
http://bisqwit.iki.fi/nesvideos/

note: these runs were done on emulators at really slow speeds and a million save states and also ABUSING glitches(a lot that i didn’t know existed) but are highly entertaining.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2004 9:04 PM

I dig crazy contact lenses. There. I said it.

Chestnuts roasted by bdsghost @ 10/17/2004 9:22 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, October 17th, 2004 at 4:48 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.