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10/10/2004: The Hallmark Halloween Commercial, 1989.

EDIT: The Countdown entry for Monday is also up, featuring the fantastic Hovering Bat, a Halloween decoration that vibrates and makes its eyes light up whenever you clap at it. If you’re just getting back after a weekend of whatever, don’t forget to check the other entries recently posted. Or I’ll choke you.

Big thanks to Randy for donating this one. I love it way too much. Here’s a look at a Hallmark Halloween commercial from 1989, which may surprise some of you in its ability to remind us of what Halloweens were like back then. Not that they were anything too incredibly different, but at least for me, it’s like pulling teeth to get anything more than surface interest from the media and retailers nowadays. We celebrate it because it’s still on our calendars, but it just packs less and less spirit each year. Anyway, the commercial features some awesomely overexposed Halloween costumes from years past, not to mention a ripoff of Thing from The Addams Family. Get to it captain.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 79 comments

Does Hallmark even have stores anymore?

Ghosted by Pat @ 10/10/2004 8:51 PM EDT

There’s one in my town, so ya, they’re still around.

Ghosted by m_woolman @ 10/10/2004 8:52 PM EDT

Third? Again? There’s still a Hallmark store at my local mall.

Ghosted by Meat Popsicle @ 10/10/2004 8:53 PM EDT

there’s one in my town too. at least, I think there is

Ghosted by sam @ 10/10/2004 9:07 PM EDT

I think I’ve seen a Hallmark store around here somewhere…

"usually late at night when I’m on drugs."

Watch out for snakes…

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 10/10/2004 9:17 PM EDT

CLASSIC

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 10/10/2004 9:19 PM EDT

We have a Hallmark around here, too. I’ve never been in it. I can’t see spending $4 on a card that someone is just going to chuck, esp when I can get an equally papery card at the Dollar Tree for $.50.

I had to laugh at the fact that Matt still remembers the one social glitch in the popular kid’s rein in school. "Yeah, he was popular, but he wore a "This IS My Costume" t-shirt in third grade. So there. Not so great." Heh.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 10/10/2004 9:19 PM EDT

I’m wondering who would win in a fight between the dude wearing the orange shirt or Mark Linn Baker….it would probably be close….

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 10/10/2004 9:20 PM EDT

Damn Hallmark for creating extra "holidays" to waste money on stupid crap but you will still get nagged by your girlfriend if you don’t buy her anything. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 10/10/2004 9:23 PM EDT

I am probably one of the last humans that still has the spooky sounds tape. I too was 10 in 1989 (do the math) and wanted to get this tape. I ended up getting a rubber spider (which I have seen as recently as 2002) and something else. I really just wanted the tape for the TWILIGHT ZONE theme. However, as Matt pointed out, it was so CASIOed and LONG that any intial resemblance to the original was lost. Plus, with no Rod Serling, what’s the point? The Spooky Sounds side is okay (I recently bought a new CD at TARGET for a buck), but both pale in comparison to the original LP record of the HAUNTED MANSION with spooky sounds on side B. THAT IS THE REAL THRILLER. Thanks for the free commercial. HAPPY HALLOWEEN and whatnot.

Ghosted by manimal789 @ 10/10/2004 10:03 PM EDT

Coming here to find two new entries makes me a happy clam.

Ghosted by Glo @ 10/10/2004 10:15 PM EDT

I have a Hallmark here as well. My wife visits quite often… at this point, I don’t mind since I just wander the Halloween gimmicks and gadgets. Ahhhh October…
As for the sound tape, I loved the Haunted Halloween album! BTW, I marked huge for the Mission Impossible yell comment. LOL
This year, I’m either going to wear a Mike Myers t-shirt or a Texas Chainsaw Massacre T at work. I was Hannibal Lecter last year. My students loved it.

Ghosted by Croww @ 10/10/2004 10:26 PM EDT

Hmm, maybe it’s just me but the bat thing doesn’t cut it w/ me. I know bats are ugly as sin, but I just couldn’t garner up the necessary courage to hang that up and call it a "decoration." I guess since I live in a dorm room that really wouldn’t matter much anways, but w/e.

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 10/10/2004 10:27 PM EDT

btw, i’ve been noticing a trend, am i the ONLY one here who isn’t married/not obtained a degree yet?

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 10/10/2004 10:28 PM EDT

Nope.

:(

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/10/2004 10:29 PM EDT

Matt,
I loved the last article on the flying bat. However, I think, for half the price, I’ll go with the bat that simply flies in a circle.
I know… I know… That bat will kill for not purchasing one of its kind!

Ghosted by Croww @ 10/10/2004 10:33 PM EDT

The non-dancing Hovering Bat (not called that, but you’ll recognize him) is easier to find — check TRU.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/10/2004 10:35 PM EDT

Thanks!

Ghosted by croww @ 10/10/2004 10:39 PM EDT

My teacher had a pretty high class halloween sound tape thing that he would play in class, with licensed theme songs and everything.
Every day we’d get to listen to the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes cartoon theme.
It was either hell or heaven, and due to the time of year, I’m going to lean to hell.

Ghosted by Discharger @ 10/10/2004 10:49 PM EDT

There are a few Hallmark stores in my area. Some of my family buys my cousin halloween cards for his b-day beacuse it’s on halloween.

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 10/11/2004 12:49 PM EDT

ST Louis still has about 7500 halmark stores dotting the landscape,a couple of competing chains I believe. Personally, I’m always afraid of knocking over one of those glass shelf displays and sending approx thirty-seven thousand dollars worth of ceramic pigs and Jesus playing sports figurines to a smashing end. We had a couple of those sound effects tapes as kids, I don’t know if any of them were from halmark, but I do remember them sucking. Holding a slinkey up to your ear was scarier.

Ghosted by deus-ex-maria @ 10/11/2004 12:50 PM EDT

That guy in the "This is my Costume" shirt is the geeky dude from friday the 13th part 2. Gimme some candy now?

Ghosted by garbage pail kid @ 10/11/2004 12:52 PM EDT

At last count, we had 3 Hallmark stores right here in my little town, and two are at the very same mall.

I’m with ya, too, ANdrew. :(

Ghosted by Ryane @ 10/11/2004 12:54 PM EDT

Nope. No degree here, but married and instantly had two kids.

Anyway, I remember listening to some Halloween album on my brother’s record player. My cousin and I turned off the lights and nearly shit our pants.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

P.S. Hey Matt, haven’t heard from you about doing a Kinder Egg follow up. How’s about it?

Ghosted by EMajorwitz @ 10/11/2004 12:56 PM EDT

I’m not married, but my degree is mere months away.

Whenever a picture is posted where there is a lot of junk in the background, I examine it to see just what I can find. He’s got both "Hey You Pikachu!" and the Radio Shack joystick for the TRS-80 computer. You rarely see those two things in the same room together, let alone in the same room with a pair of Hulk Hands.

Ghosted by Mars @ 10/11/2004 1:24 AM EDT

Once again, I am the first with this breaking news:

Christopher Reeve just died. 52 even. Wow. Not as big an impact as Dangerfield’s death but still…

And i have a crapload of Hallmarks where i live

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 10/11/2004 1:50 AM EDT

Yay, I went to an ‘inspirational’ seminar with him, and all he did was whine about how awful his life is. Bastard.

Great articles, Matt. That bat looks fugly for 20 bucks. You got ripped. Ripped! I saw a Frankenstein’s Monster the other day, and it sang ‘Thriller’ when you pushed the button. Sadly, Michael Jackson looks more like the thing every day.

Ghosted by Chris Carrier _NOT_ Chris Reeve @ 10/11/2004 3:26 AM EDT

Is it just me or is Kirstie Alley in that Hallmark commercial?

Oh, Hallmark stores are plentiful in my area..seems to be a 100 of them within a 20 mile radius.

Ghosted by Jeremiah @ 10/11/2004 3:32 AM EDT

Yep, that is the guy from Friday the 13th part2, odd coincidence – i just pulled out my collection last night and chose to watch that one…. i thought the same thing when i saw the hallmark bit.
good one, and i bought some of the new garbage pail kids the other day – finally got one named after me, it’s some insanely fat kid, and his name…. ‘Lost In Austin’.. and this is why i still go swimming with my shirt on. (not fat anymore, just so scarred from my friends birthday pool parties, that i can’t be even semi naked in public)

Ghosted by Austin @ 10/11/2004 7:55 AM EDT

Actually, I thought be bore a striking resemblance to the guy who played George Frankly on Mathnet. Shows what I know…

Ghosted by Lori @ 10/11/2004 9:18 AM EDT

Matt,

I have a copy of that Hallmark tape, and I live in Eltingville if you want it.

-Lou

Ghosted by Lou @ 10/11/2004 10:07 AM EDT

Is the guy in the shirt the actor who played Harold "Reptile" Sherpico in Just One of the Guys?

Ghosted by Jason @ 10/11/2004 10:36 AM EDT

I have one of those chattering skulls pinss.. heheh.. that thing was awesome. i don’t think i ever wore it, but i always used to put it out around halloween! :)

Ghosted by EyeLikeP00 @ 10/11/2004 10:41 AM EDT

Am I the only person who gets creeped out by the eyes on the talking woman in the audio bar of the college degree ad? It’s kind of cool how her eyes follow your pointer around the screen… try it!

Ghosted by Ed @ 10/11/2004 11:18 AM EDT

Sometimes, the whole account thing doesn’t seem like a bad idea…..
I wanted that chattering skull when I was young, but always avoided the Hallmark store like the plague. I have both a tape and cd of spooky Hallowe’en sounds, but usually end up playing my tapes of old Dr. Demento shows. Including the themes to Dark Shadows, Addams Family, and Nudist Colony of the Dead. And a awesome reading of The Pit and the Pendulum by Basil Rathbone. Even a cool vampire story read by Boris Karloff. Fun stuff, man.

(I didn’t know big sac was a holiday)

Ghosted by kingklash @ 10/11/2004 12:06 PM EDT

The Hovering Bat looks a lot like a evil Zubat since from some view it looks like the bat has no eyes.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 10/11/2004 12:10 PM EDT

The only Hallmark store near me is in a mall. There was one in my home town, but it closed two years ago.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 10/11/2004 12:13 PM EDT

Now I know whose ass to kick for introducing that shirt.

Ghosted by Sara @ 10/11/2004 12:34 PM EDT

Did anyone notice that this site and article was on http://www.fark.com?

(Yes, I know it’s one of the affiliates, but look in the news posts)

You’ll get a spike of traffic today. ;)

Ghosted by RPharazon @ 10/11/2004 12:51 PM EDT

Someone must have back problems, if he has a Homemedic Back Massager.

Ghosted by Dik Fishman @ 10/11/2004 1:04 PM EDT

Beautiful–I had a ton of pins like that when I was a kid. Good times…

Matt, have you ever seen the anime TMNT from about 1996 or so? It’s not the new one–it’s in honest-to-goodness subtitled Japanese, and the turtles have magic crystals that let them transform into…God, I cannot describe it without robbing it of its beauty. You NEED to do an article on it.

Ghosted by Your Mom @ 10/11/2004 1:26 PM EDT

Well, ANdrew, I’m not even in college yet and I don’t have anyone. Had a crush on Thomas Haden Church, but that went through the crapper when somebody on Yahoo! Movies said he had a girlfriend… bastard. I’ll just keep praying to go to college and come out with a job that requires me to create a production company…

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 10/11/2004 1:49 PM EDT

W00T Impossible Mission!!! (goes up to boot up his old C64 that he still has hooked up to go play it.)

Ghosted by ArtimisRage @ 10/11/2004 2:36 PM EDT

Hey, Matt, you can edit my last post to remove the first and last lines as you see fit! (seeing as how the one mentioned has been booted)

Ghosted by the expurgated kingklash @ 10/11/2004 2:55 PM EDT

Damn Matt, was that one picture taken in your apartment or your nephew’s play room?

Ghosted by Dane @ 10/11/2004 2:57 PM EDT

i have that ‘this is my costume’ shirt. i bought it at a flea market three or four years ago. the font of the shirt makes it all the more hilarious. ie, youre really excited that this is your costume.

Ghosted by kellen @ 10/11/2004 3:57 PM EDT

I do not remember Stu Charno from that one episode of Dave’s World, but I fondly remember him in the Hallmark commerical.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0153385/
http://www.iconsoffright.com/IV_Stu.htm
http://www.stucharno.com/

Ghosted by ME @ 10/11/2004 4:11 PM EDT

Matt- The second picture from the bottom in the bat article makes me envy you so bad.

Ghosted by Behonkiss @ 10/11/2004 4:39 PM EDT

Hallmark makes me fucking sick from all the crap it sells. The reason for the puking is because I know there are millions of people out there who waste their money on this shit and find it "unbelievably cute".
It’s also responsible for taking up space in one of my desk drawers, which is currently occupied by a Mt. Everest of old cards, b/c what do you do with them? When is the exact time when all the sentiment and "aww" is gone from that card and it’s time to bravely trash it?

I might decoupage a bookcase with those cards…and then stash it in the garage. Or chop it up for fire wood cuz winter is a-comin’. *brr*

Ghosted by SovietRocket @ 10/11/2004 4:42 PM EDT

Ohmigod, I still have that Spooky Sounds tape at my Gramma’s place – haha, we got it the same year we got the sparkling new invetion known only cryptically as "Mat-that-makes-high-pitched-shrieks-when-stupid-kids-or-gullible-adults-or-your-dog-decide-to-accidentally-brush-it-AAHHWWLLGGHH". Man I miss them.

Ghosted by Jamie @ 10/11/2004 5:14 PM EDT

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