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10/10/2004: The Hallmark Halloween Commercial, 1989.

EDIT: The Countdown entry for Monday is also up, featuring the fantastic Hovering Bat, a Halloween decoration that vibrates and makes its eyes light up whenever you clap at it. If you’re just getting back after a weekend of whatever, don’t forget to check the other entries recently posted. Or I’ll choke you.

Big thanks to Randy for donating this one. I love it way too much. Here’s a look at a Hallmark Halloween commercial from 1989, which may surprise some of you in its ability to remind us of what Halloweens were like back then. Not that they were anything too incredibly different, but at least for me, it’s like pulling teeth to get anything more than surface interest from the media and retailers nowadays. We celebrate it because it’s still on our calendars, but it just packs less and less spirit each year. Anyway, the commercial features some awesomely overexposed Halloween costumes from years past, not to mention a ripoff of Thing from The Addams Family. Get to it captain.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 79 comments

Na na na na na na na na na na na na naaaaah… Hovering Baaaat!

Nope.

Don’t sound the same.
Had a shreiking doormat like Jamie’s, but then some fat kid stepped on it and killed it. (sniff) If I can find a new mat, then I could use the old box, it’s hella-loud!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 10/11/2004 5:23 PM EDT

I actually STILL have one of those crappy half-assed costumes I bought in a Hallmark store in maybe 1990. It’s a little black beanie with googly-looking (silkscreened) eyes and bat wings. My Bat Hat. It makes an appearance evey Halloween since I teach in an elementary school and have an excuse to wear a costume (yayy).

On a sadder note, I also bought something called a Boo Beanie: white with a ghost face looking surprised. It had little hands that stuck out on either side. It’s lost. I still grieve.

Ghosted by rachi99 @ 10/11/2004 6:17 PM EDT

Oh, and Matt –

Speaking of the dissolution of our society’s Halloween spirit, it should appall you to hear that at one of the schools where I work, the kids are not allowed to wear costumes of any kind. They still have parties on Halloween, but they are called "Fall Festival."

But why, you ask? Religious reasons? Violent imagery. Oh no. The reason is that the teachers say "it’s too much trouble." They refuse to help kids get in costumes, and it’s "A waste of an afternoon."

Makes me ashamed to be on the faculty. Since I travel to teach, I just go to another school where they do real parties with spider rings and costumes so complicated they have to start getting dressed after lunch.

Ghosted by rachi99 @ 10/11/2004 6:29 PM EDT

I posted this on STU’s website (the guy in the t-shirt). He got a kick out of it, cause he never even saw the finished commercial. I’m shocked he didn’t leave a comment.

Ghosted by RP MacMurphy @ 10/11/2004 6:38 PM EDT

there are four hallmark stores in my area. must be a northwest thing.

RewolfJ nice eegah (or mst3k) refrence

Ghosted by bogeyb @ 10/11/2004 6:52 PM EDT

You would of course find the guy I called a doof. If he’s reading, it was in good fun and I swear I’m twice the doof.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/11/2004 7:45 PM EDT

Ha HA HA Ha HA! Now the value of that shirt has gone up on eBay!

Ghosted by ddfgg @ 10/11/2004 9:13 PM EDT

bogeyb: Thanks, also a subtle refference to the anti-drug PSA on the countdown (as well as another old article which I’m pretty sure debuted shortly after I became a regular reader).

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 10/11/2004 9:22 PM EDT

Oddly enough, considering South Jersey still has at least four or five Hallmarks, I really don’t remember this commercial. I don’t think Hallmark still does costumes, though it, as far as I know, continues to sell novelty items like the chattering skull and the "Scary Sounds" tape.

Actually, my parents bought a similar cassette years ago for Halloween. Their reasoning being we had so much Christmas music, we might as well branch out. Yeah, it’s cheezy (the version of "Thriller" on the tape is particuarly bad) but we still listen to it every year, and it still greets trick-or-treaters who come to my parents’ door.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 10/11/2004 9:26 PM EDT

The guy in the Hallmark picture there in the orange shirt *kinda* reminds me of Slim Goodbody, except without the inside-out body.

Ghosted by Andy @ 10/11/2004 11:01 PM EDT

You have known, that person of the shirt really is creepy. I him next the halloween way think that the fact that I go is desired. It makes that can have everyone, everything which I need is the exhaust change vessel of that surface, am that shirt and I the gold.

Ghosted by JingYa @ 10/11/2004 11:05 PM EDT

Not really Halloween related, but I have found a new bit of Shrek crap the other day. Get ready for…Shrek and Donkey Chia Pets!

Ch Ch Ch Chia Shrek!

Ghosted by Luap @ 10/11/2004 11:41 PM EDT

Just wanted to say I STILL have that tape. Or my dad does. In any case, I could take it from my house without incident.

Ghosted by New Guy @ 10/11/2004 11:50 PM EDT

I am among those who are not married and have no degree. Just started working toward the degree though.

Speaking of bad Halloween music, anyone know who Screaming Lord Sutch is? My friend has the same problem Matt has, if something is marked at an incredibly low sale price he has to buy 50,000 of them. That’s what happened when Hastings had SLS’s cds for 33 cents. He gives them to various friends in packs of ten as gag gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

Ghosted by Mara @ 10/12/2004 1:00 AM EDT

I had a few of those Halloween sound effects tapes. I loved those things and enjoyed playing them at inappropriate times like Christmas dinner or funerals. My favorite tape had a segment that lasted about 3 minutes that actually sounded like a woman being raped by Satan himself. It was really kinda scary.

Ghosted by Cousin Balki @ 10/12/2004 6:57 AM EDT

Unmarried, uncolleged. Destined to die in a freak Jell-O/Pac-Man/Wiffle Ball accident on some backwater galactic outpost.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 10/12/2004 12:02 PM EDT

i have the skull pin.

if you want it, Matt, i’ll find it and send it to you. along with my soul.

Ghosted by zann @ 10/12/2004 12:21 PM EDT

For the record -

Yes, I am married, but only recently.

As for degrees, I have three (yipe), and I am here to tell you that they have done me little to no good in the real world. Kept me OUT of the real world for a decent amount of time, though.

Ghosted by rachi99 @ 10/12/2004 12:38 PM EDT

Married. No degree yet but working on it.

I used to have a vibrating ghost similar in principle to the bat. when you clapped mear it or screamed, it would start buzzing around like crazy. Good times.

Ghosted by Yzziefrog @ 10/12/2004 2:00 PM EDT

hey matt, i have a chattering skull pin if your interested. its a classic.

Ghosted by mikey @ 10/12/2004 2:47 PM EDT

I CANNOT believe I was right about it being Reptile Sherpico. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Ghosted by Jason @ 10/12/2004 2:57 PM EDT

First Post for me!

My cousin Barry told me about this site! ITS AWESOME!

Lets see, to address everyone, yes-job. yes-married. Interestingly, my wife’s dad keeps the machine repaired and going that puts the glitter on hallmark cards (glitter, which hallmark calls flitter). you know how you wonder who runs the machine that does that– well, its my father-in-law. In Topeka, Kansas.

Actually that makes hallmark a totally american company! makes you feel bad for complaining about the $4 cards now, doesn’t it?

Funny article!

Ghosted by Dixon Deeper (Cousin of Barry J. Deeper) @ 10/12/2004 3:20 PM EDT

A house on my street has one of those hovering bats on its porch. The first night it was up it actually fooled me until i got closer to it and saw the LED red eyes and heard the whir of the motor. And realized that bats do not typically fly in perfect continuous circles eight feet from the ground. I am ashamed.

Ghosted by Kyla @ 10/12/2004 5:11 PM EDT

GG @ using "conducive"

Ghosted by Sargasm @ 10/13/2004 12:13 PM EDT

Well now, someone got an utrom.

Ghosted by Cleetus @ 10/14/2004 11:46 PM EDT

There were Transformers on your Top Ten Worst list that were totally justified, but two guys who should have made it were the Autobot Jumpstarters, Top Spin and Twin Twist.
I see that you have already catalogued them as a bummer in one article, but the list lets them off the hook.
I suppose that they don’t count officially as Transformers, because they are so horrid, but then I see Leader One counted among the most despicable Transformers.

Could it be that they are so monumentally lousy, you have blocked them from memory?

Love this site, man. I can’t believe you’re only 25.

Ghosted by The Disgrace @ 10/15/2004 11:32 AM EDT

Also, I believe that the two halves of the Inhumanoids’ heroic monster "Magnakor" were named "Cryon" and "Pyre". Something of the like, anyway.
The version of Magnakor that I owned in my youth didn’t have the built-in magnets. Pegs held them together, and the Cryon half was just a hollowed-out non-posable cover shell.

Ghosted by The Disgrace @ 10/15/2004 11:51 AM EDT

O_O AWESOME!! Dude, Hallmark Halloween crap is the coolest Halloween crap around. I remember going into one of their stores with my mom when I was little & being in awe of all the cool halloween themed things there.

It’s funny that I read this article today, as I just went by a card store up the block from my house that, once upon a time, used to BE a Hallmark card store. Since the people who bought this, bought all the crap in the back room along with it, they’ve had Halloween stuff in there from the 80’s & early 90’s for YEARS.

Today while up there & just looking around for some cardboard halloween decorations to hang on the walls in my basement, I decided to check the store out & see what they had this year. I left with a bunch of stuff & minus $19.77 from my wallet (not a bad deal as all their Halloween stuff was 50% off O_O).

The Hallmark brand stuff I got was as follows:
• 1 pack of 4 Halloween Blowouts from 1988 (those little blower things that stick-out when you blow in them, & they come with little cardboard skulls to put over them).
• 1 sheet of 6 glow-in-the-dark stickers (jack o lantern, skull & cross bones, frankenstien, ghost, bat & spider stickers)
• 1 sheet of "puffy" stickers of like 13 random weird monsters
& the awesomest thing:
• 1 Halloween Wind Sock from 1986. It’s this big red cartoony Devil & it’s freakin’ awesome. :-D

Some non-Hallmark old 80’s Halloween crap I got was:

• 1 of those weird "Baby Oh-Lanterns" from 1987. It’s name is Jason. Very weird, & a little dried out, probably from being in the sun for such a long time.
• a 44" high "Mister Mummy" hinged Decoration made by Carlton cards in MCMXCI, which I think is 1991
• a 27" wingspan "Flying Fear Bat" hinged Decoration made by the same company. It’s like a cardboard bat, with wings that open & it has a little ‘Happy Halloween’ pin drawn on it.
• Also got a little 6" tall stuffed ghost w/ googley eyes & a long once elastic cord.

I gotta go back up there tomarrow & buy more of their old stuff, might pay to check out some other old card stores too…

-Boglin

Ghosted by Boglin @ 10/22/2004 9:34 PM EDT

Re: Post item ” It’s a little black beanie with googly-looking (silkscreened) eyes and bat wings. My Bat Hat.” Does ANYBODY still have one or two of these? My adult kids are nuts about this beanie that their dad used to wear when he handed out candy every year. Trying to find a couple more. Thanks. MK

Ghosted by MK @ 11/01/2008 10:59 AM EST

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This entry was posted on Sunday, October 10th, 2004 at 8:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.