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10/06/2004: Halloween Cheetos, Banana Ghosts, & Inflatable Rats.

Two new entries at one time one time: Halloween Cheetos nailed itself a tribute, but to be honest, it’s only because I love the box they came in. And I finally got around to making those Ooey Gooey Banana Ghosts from the recipe on that Halloween cereal box. The results did not disappoint.

Went to Duane Reade today to see if they had any Halloween shit I hadn’t found yet. They didn’t, but there were 400 protesters outside the store, swarming around a giant inflatable rat. A nearby banner read, in big bold print: “Duane Greed.” TOUCHE! I don’t know what they were protesting, but that’s what happens when you bring giant inflatable rats on your marches and give people something far more interesting to look at.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 115 comments

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i’ve seen that giant rat around my neighborhood. sometimes it wears a cute red baseball cap. anyway, the "duane greed" slogan is referring to the fact that there are about 54 duane reades everywhere you look in manhattan and people are afraid that it’s becoming a monopoly or something like that. yeh.

Ghosted by annalalala @ 10/06/2004 9:27 PM EDT

Is New York always this f’ed up? Outside of the occasional murdered prostitute, NOTHING interesting happens in Charlotte, NC.

Ghosted by God Animagnus @ 10/06/2004 9:40 PM EDT

Third post.

Virginia is boring, too. And I even live less than 20 miles from D.C.

Cheetos are the greatest snack ever.

Ghosted by Behonkiss @ 10/06/2004 9:41 PM EDT

So the giant rat belonged to the protesters, or Duane Reade? Either way, it seems to be working in Duane Reade’s favor.

Ghosted by Lone_Pyscho @ 10/06/2004 9:45 PM EDT

It belonged to the protesters, and you bring up a great point, because I hadn’t noticed this Duane Reade before despite the fact that it’s in clear view from where I work.

Maybe this is a scam. A lot cheaper to get a giant inflatable on the street outside your store if you chalk it up to protesting.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/06/2004 9:46 PM EDT

wow, I hate bananas and mayonnaise too. blech

Ghosted by nameless @ 10/06/2004 9:55 PM EDT

I guess it’s akin to all the CVS stores in Ohio.

Ghosted by JG! @ 10/06/2004 9:55 PM EDT

The best part is that the sign appears to say "dwyane greed" instead of "Duane Greed." Is the rat even at the right protest? I understand changing the "Reade" part of the name, but it seems sloppy to mess with the "Duane." I don’t think I can listen to a giant inflatable rat who doesn’t pay attention to such important details.

Ghosted by Lilydale @ 10/06/2004 9:58 PM EDT

I knew u would make those yummy apple jacks bannanas. I’m hardly containing myself to make them now but i have only found the other two manor cereals so far. Is the froot loops ice cream stacked sundae next? If i don’t find those Jacks tommorrow someones gettin a stale non halloween AJ box to the head.

Ghosted by juice @ 10/06/2004 9:59 PM EDT

Alright, my first crack into the top ten. I tried that Black Mountain Dew grape: not bad, not great.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!

Ghosted by manimal789 @ 10/06/2004 10:03 PM EDT

New entries, yeeesss. The Banana Ghosts look pretty good to me, but I like bananas. I bet I could eat the whole box of Cheetos in a sitting, too.

Ghosted by Jake @ 10/06/2004 10:04 PM EDT

They don’t even have Duane Reade stores out west (in Utah, anyway), but hell, if I saw a giant inflatable rat outside of ANY store I’d patronize it in a second.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 10/06/2004 10:07 PM EDT

Those people really know how to protest in style. A giant, inflatable rat? Classic.

Ghosted by Ian @ 10/06/2004 10:23 PM EDT

Wow, I get to post in something without a thousand comments.

Nice rat. I might try the banana ghosts sometime soon…

Ghosted by Komichi @ 10/06/2004 10:27 PM EDT

People from Utah read X-E? I thought it was only us New Yawkers/East Coasters. Cheetos are my all time fav snack food.

Animagnus- Charlotte is the shiz, my baseball team in HS would always go there for spring training, everyone there is rich!

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 10/06/2004 10:58 PM EDT

I’ve seen that rat somewhere before. I think it has something to do with scab workers.

Ghosted by hamburger man @ 10/06/2004 11:04 PM EDT

Why are rats now the mascot of greediness? I’ve never thought of rats as being particularly greedy until today…

Ghosted by 1drland @ 10/06/2004 11:05 PM EDT

I don’t know where else to post this, but I just finished watching the Return of the Jedi DVD. Anyone else ever notice that Jabba’s green dancing girl’s boob pops out of her top when he yanks on her chain to pull her towards him?

Ghosted by Dane @ 10/06/2004 11:11 PM EDT

Matt, you know it would’ve been easier to melt the chocolate in the microwave. I hate banana gum too.

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 10/06/2004 11:15 PM EDT

"I’m reminded of the time an albino ape started fucking his diarrhea at the zoo"

Best. Sentence. Ever.

Ghosted by Dane @ 10/06/2004 11:20 PM EDT

Mmmm bananas and chocolate…but I agree, banana flavored candy is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty. One more time-nasty.

And yes, westerners do read X-E. I’m from New Mexico, but have recently relocated to New Orleans. I don’t think that counts as east coast…I hope not, it’s too warm here to be New England.

Ghosted by Mara @ 10/06/2004 11:22 PM EDT

In my hormone induced stupor, I have to say those sort of look tasty.

Ghosted by Zorbs @ 10/06/2004 11:25 PM EDT

They don’t quite have the glow the box depicted.

Ghosted by Angry P. Thompson @ 10/06/2004 11:33 PM EDT

2 more thoughts:

LOVED the skull with the orange pringle in his mouth. Just noticed him lurking there.

and

"dusty cheese-clubs" – my choice for the best phrase of this article!

Ghosted by Zorbs @ 10/06/2004 11:43 PM EDT

Banana flavored candies nasty? I adore banana Runts. There is no better Runt.

Oh and "I’m reminded of the time an albino ape started fucking his diarrhea at the zoo."

That line had me going for a bit. Brilliant.

Oh yeah, we also had one of those Giant Rats outside some store in Delaware. I thought it was cool, but I thought it was some sort of fair, not a protest.

Ghosted by Bill Cosby's Sweater @ 10/06/2004 11:46 PM EDT

Bruised bananas are perfect for making banana ice cream, don’tcha know? And did you know that you can also make pumpkin ice cream?

Ghosted by Sara @ 10/07/2004 12:47 PM EDT

I used to hate bananas and mayonaise. Now I love them. The secret: Make choclate milkshakes with a hint of banana, you can barely taste it, and I loved it even when I hated bananas. Eventually, bananas will just remind you of delicious milkshakes.

Mayonaise: Go hiking for 6 hours, only pack a drink, and a sandwich with mayo, cheese, and salami. This is also how I learned to like mustard.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 10/07/2004 1:43 AM EDT

I just noticed the Halloween marshmallow you stuck on one of them Apple jack gooey ghost things.And yeah, I would never eat one of these things infront of a hot chick. However, I would eat one. I would also eat a Ninja Turtles Ice Cream in front of a hot chick (ain’t no shame in liking the TMNT, and girls will admire the fact that you don’t care what they think), and I wouldn’t hafta give it up for a ciggy because I quit smoking those things a couple months ago.

Ghosted by Nate @ 10/07/2004 2:38 AM EDT

Oh yeah: It’s awesome how on the photo of the Cheetos box, it looks like Chester’s burning in hell on the box’s art of the bags.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 10/07/2004 3:15 AM EDT

yes, down with banana gum, Up with Rats. Down with Banana Gum, Up with Rats! Come on People! Wanna get new friends and impress your family? walk around your home, office, mall, or locale of choice, do yer best protester voice, and give that upper bit a try, heck you can even make a megaphone from a piece of paper, if you are moved to do so.
You are correct, the box rox, Matt. It’s a shame that people don’t save or more thoroughly respect fun cardboard, in the future, can you do a special on boxes? or packaging?

Ghosted by Obelisk @ 10/07/2004 4:22 AM EDT

All you Hoes and Bitches liked saved by the bell – dont motherfucking tell me a goddam lie you bitches. Girls are slutz!

Ghosted by the nigga @ 10/07/2004 7:26 AM EDT

I just heard a story yesterday about a co-worker who detested bananas and everything banana related – when forced to eat 1/3 of a banana for the first time in her life she broke out in a massive case of hives and had to be rushed to hospital.

So you might want to watch it if you don’t like them – banana allergies can be nasty…

Ghosted by Kelly @ 10/07/2004 8:06 AM EDT

"All you Hoes and Bitches liked saved by the bell – dont motherfucking tell me a goddam lie you bitches. Girls are slutz!

Posted by the nigga @ 10/07/2004 07:26 AM EST"

What the Hell is this (above) all about? Did I miss something, between comments about giant inflatable rats (I just finished my Masters’ thesis on fossil rodents–that would have been fun to bring to the defence!), hell-printed boxes, and frozen phallic treats? Some subtext that only one person can see?

Or is this guy trying to project a love for SBTB on others using street talk and misogyny, while secretly watching his taped episodes every night trying to emulate Slater?

And for the record, people from wetern CANADA read this site too. It’s nice to see that the puzzling things that seem to come out of NY also puzzle our neighbours due south of here.

Ghosted by Sean @ 10/07/2004 8:52 AM EDT

I had no idea X-E was so diverse… =)

Ghosted by ANdrewq @ 10/07/2004 9:01 AM EDT

Sean, I’m sure this poor Mr. the nigga was just at loss for words after reading Matt’s new entries. Severe brain dislocation brought upon by Oooey Gooey Bananas. It could happen to anybody, just be thankful it didn’t happen to you.

I wonder if them bananas would taste good with Fruit Loops?

No giant rats in Toronto. We had stoopid moose a few summers back, but they were called "art". But there is a place on my way to work that has a giant inflatable BLUE GORILLA on the roof, maybe I can send a picture sometime.

Matt, I emailed you yesterday at the address you gave me in the other blog entry. Did you get it?

Ghosted by Yzziefrog @ 10/07/2004 9:11 AM EDT

ANdrewq – That’s funny that you noticed that about Charlotte even during baseball trips in hs. I, unfortunately, have lived here my whole life and am more than sick of the people inhabiting this city.

Ironically, I’m moving to NY.

Ghosted by Bryan @ 10/07/2004 9:23 AM EDT

I see that guy N’s point – under all the anger and resentment of an ex-gf who ran around with his friends or something like that — he does make a good point- at some point, we all did like Saved by the bell – even if it was just for a few episodes.

Ghosted by brian @ 10/07/2004 9:29 AM EDT

Sean — if you come back, I have another fish issue for ya.

My Geophagus has a big gaping hole on the side of his face — a very clean wound about 1/4 of an inch in diameter. We’ve put standard medicines in to no avail. It doesn’t seem to be bothering him, but as it’s a fairly deep wound, I’m naturally worried. He’s had it for months. We DO have two blue botias which have grown larger. (nowhere near as big as the Geo, but there it is) One of the botias is aggressive, but this doesn’t seem like a wound that could’ve been inflicted by him. Any ideas?

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/07/2004 9:44 AM EDT

God I see those rats all the time. In case anyone is interested, ‘hamburger man’ up there was right – it has to do with companies using non-union workers. Out here a lot of the time it doesn’t even have to do with specific companies, but with the larger companies that service the buildings. Working on court Street, I see at least one of those things every couple of weeks in different places.

Ghosted by Matt (I think I'm the third) @ 10/07/2004 9:47 AM EDT

Hey, it’s not just western Canada that’s around here.

I, too, must jump on the banana-loathing bandwagon. I threw up after eating them once as a baby (had the flu), haven’t been able to stomach them or anything banana-related since. Yeach.

I was wondering if Matt might be able to share the recipe for the cocoa Krispie snake-things? They looked tasty and relatively easy to make.

As always, fantastic stuff.

Ghosted by Jen @ 10/07/2004 9:51 AM EDT

I might do the snakes, but there’s even better stuff in all the Halloween magazines I’ve collected through the years, including some really old ones I inherited from my mother (read: stole) years ago. There’s still about 25 days left on the Countdown, so there’s definite room for more spooky recipes. Especially since I’m running out of stuff.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/07/2004 9:54 AM EDT

giant inflatable rats slap arse withy both hands

Ghosted by 'tin man @ 10/07/2004 9:57 AM EDT

I can tell you must be feeling better, Matt. Those articles had a nice flooooow, like they were easier to write.

Oh, according to this: http://www.crainsny.com/news.cms?id=7009
The Duane Greed thing is all about starting a union. They’re actually giving out "Duane Greed" shopping bags and union literature w/ your purchase. Hee!

You’re right, though – bananas are gross. Just the smell makes me nauseous. I would never eat a banan split, jsut b/c the ice cream was touched by bananas and that was enough to turn my appetite off.

Although, I’m totally going to buy one of those Steal a Snack boxes for Halloween this year. Where did you find them?

I’m so bummed that I haven’t gotten my Halloween costume yet. I wanted to dress up as Madonna, the "Like a Virgin" version, but I couldn’t find enough pewter jewelry and those awesome blue lycra leggings. I have a Halloween party this weekend, and I was in an accident w/ my car last Friday, so the thing is undriveable (also totalled, I found out yesterday) and I have no way to get anywhere to pick anything up. (now, that is also a GD long sentence.) Anyone know of any places online where I could get myself some Madonna "potables" and delivered before Sunday?

Ghosted by trajeal @ 10/07/2004 10:04 AM EDT

too bad you didnt get hurt trajeal

Ghosted by the ----- (im at work) @ 10/07/2004 10:33 AM EDT

We have a huge rat here in town, but he just stands outside construction sites that use non-union workers. He gets a better workout than the fat slobs holding union signs-sitting in lawn chairs, smoking Camels.

Ghosted by Peg @ 10/07/2004 10:38 AM EDT

Trajeal, I hate to say this, but you have to head to the mall.

First you go to a place that sells pantyhose. Buy a pair of opaque thighs in the colour you want, and get the biggest pair you can get. Once you get home, cut about an dan inch off the feet. These things are meant to stretch off the toes, so if you cut too much off you’ll end up with short shorts. Try them on and cut to desired length. The ragged edge will be a nice touch.

For the jewellry. Again at the mall, find the store that sells cheap bling-bling for the teenage crowd. In Canada they’re called Ardene and Claire’s. They usually have cheapo silvery chains, crosses, etc. It’s a few notches above vending machine jewellry, but nothing I’d wear at my wedding. I’ve seen 80’s style Madonna stuff there, big crosses, boytoy belt buckles, etc. At least you can score something big and shiny that says "Princess", and you’ll have the proper spirit.

Ghosted by Yzziefrog @ 10/07/2004 10:52 AM EDT

Thanks, Yzzie. We have Claire’s here. I’ll have to check them out. I’m actually going to run to our local thrift store and see what they have. hey, I might luck out.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 10/07/2004 11:22 AM EDT

Woah, Matt you have to try some of this:
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/photospecials/0406/ice-cream04/10.html
Dracula ice cream!!! Mmmm garlic never tasted so good.

Ghosted by Cobra Soldier #18 @ 10/07/2004 11:32 AM EDT

Okay, how many people want to wear the chips box on their head like me?

Matt will you do us the honor of wearing the box on your head?

Ghosted by dfgdfg @ 10/07/2004 11:58 AM EDT

That’s one big-ass rabid rat. What’s the department store feeding that thing?

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 10/07/2004 12:18 PM EDT

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