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The Halloween Yogurt Explosion.

Careful, dairy shoppers. If you're not in love with Halloween, you're in for a real scare. X-E's first favorite holiday after that other one coming up has completely taken over the dairy section at your local grocer, with four new kinds of yogurt:

It's the Halloween Yogurt Explosion. Sprinkl'ins! Go-Gurt! Glo-Gurt! AND TRIX TOO?! It's a massive attack on everything sacred, and at least half of this shit comes in glow-in-the-dark packaging. I thank Lord Samhain that my fridge will no longer have to devote half of its space to unopened boxes of Halloween yogurt. Enjoy, if you dare.

Posted by Matt on 09/30/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 45 comments

When Go-gurt was first introduced, the commercial went on about how portable it was and showed a kid carrying some through the Egyptian desert which he presents to a friend who comments on how long he took. I quickly came to the realization that if he really took so long, with his yogurt exposed the hot African sun, there’s no way those kids were eating ‘good’ yogurt.
From this, a friend and I kept having this inside joke about Yoplait plotting to kill children by encouraging them to carry their yogurt around so it gets nice and warm before eating it. Soon after, they added a second part to the commercial where they’re like "Wanna know how to make Go-gurt REALLY cool? Ya freeze it!". My friend and I just laughed at this and jokingly accused them of realizing the potential flaws of yogurt you’re supposed to carry arround awhile before eating and tried to minimize child casualties without killing the product.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 10/01/2004 2:00 AM

I remember when Trix yougurt came out and I was in the 3rd grade. and that’s around the time the original sprinklins came out too. The kids in my class would take those on feild trips to eat for some strange reason. I have to say I’m over "kid" yougurts now and only eat the "normal" flavors.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 10/01/2004 2:08 AM

Thank you, Matt, for that wonderful new rejoinder which will now be part of my everyday vocabulary for at least five years or so.

Me: "I really don’t think monkeys are as funny as people make them out to be, just because a chimpanzee throws feces at zoos."
Stephen: "Actually, chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys."
Me: "Yeah, but you know what I mean."
Stephen: "There are a lot of differences, it’s not something you can afford to take for granted…"
Me: "Stop thinking you’re right about my Halloween yogurt."

I just realized recently that I’ve been quoting one Transformers line ("As I pre-ducted!" –Breakdown) ever since I first saw the episode at age five or six. Let’s see if I can hang onto this expression for twenty years as well…

Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 10/01/2004 6:06 AM

yea im 22 and i def remember havin Trix Yogurt like that as a kid. Still looks the same apparently

Chestnuts roasted by Rychiar @ 10/01/2004 7:59 AM

Again, they try to trick kids into thinking that the yogurt itself glows in the dark. Bastards.

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 10/01/2004 8:10 AM

My younger brother goes absolutely ape shit for trix yogurt, and gogurt.

It’s amazing ’cause I think both yogurts taste like shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Jay @ 10/01/2004 8:11 AM

Completely off-topic…

Matt, I stopped at the newly renovated grocery store and they scrapped their "entertainment" section, so they had this huge bin of VCR tapes on sale for a buck or two. I picked up 2 that just screamed "X-E".

I never would have bought this stuff before I knew XE, but I thought you may want to have them. Email me at yzziefrog@icqmail.com, and tell me where I can mail you these masterpieces.

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 10/01/2004 9:04 AM

Matt, the current crop of Halloween M&Ms are out! The’re not black and white like last year’s batch, now they’re orange and black!
I have a bag around here somewhere…

I haven’t really been into Halloween stuff this year. Maybe I’m just growing out of it. Glowing yogurt does sound freaky, though.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 10/01/2004 9:43 AM

Only get worried when M&M’s are orange and purple: if you like that colour combo, you are probably schizophrenic. No kidding.

So, other people also quote from stuff they saw when they were six – I thought it wuz only me…

eg, the Gummi Bears’ first ep:

[Igthorn]: "Gummi bears??! What kind of fool do you take me for???!"
[Ogre]: "Duh, don’t know; how many kinds ARE dere?"

Aaah, the happy days of childhood.

I was under the impression that "Walk the Dinosaur" was originally an actual hit, and was only subsequently included in any movie/tv series involving dinosaurs. Whoopi Goldberg should have stayed far away from any movie containing an animated dinosaur detective! Yeurkk!

There was a live-action puppeteered show called Dinosaurs, wherein there was a "tv show" that always killed off a little kid named Timmy. "Ooops, we’re gonna need another Timmy!!!" Loved it. I think they parodied walk the Dinosaur quite a few times. I think the "Dad" was named Earl, but the baby was always funnier. They were always frying little fluffy "mammals", too. :D

Chestnuts roasted by eminentfreak realises a dead headless horse ain't going anywhere @ 10/01/2004 10:31 AM

I remember trying some of the Shrek 2 Gogurt that my cousins brought to the beach. I must say that it absolutely incredible. I became addicted to the splendour of Shreks gogurt. Pardon my blasphemy.

Chestnuts roasted by Miltqn @ 10/01/2004 10:45 AM

oh come on with the yogurt talk… halloween and yogurt are not a good mix… just dont go together… somethingawful.com’s sims article is hysterical because that is what I used to do…

Yogurt was a hidden character in a game for sega called shining force!! he was cool, but wasnt very strong.

what’s up with the Rude Dog cartoona nd shirts Matt? you need to talk about Rude Dog! and those Big Johnson shirts too — those were funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 10/01/2004 10:51 AM

NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!

Chestnuts roasted by brian @ 10/01/2004 10:52 AM

One of the best things about the Dinosaurs show was the fact that all the last names were names of oil companies. Sinclair, Hess, Shell, and so on.

Ka-BOOM! We need a new Timmy!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/01/2004 12:36 PM

If you got a fever and need more Wookiee: http://www.figures.com/databases/action.cgi?setup_file=fignews2.setup&category=actionfigures&topic=77&show_article=379">A Carded Look at Hasbro’s New Star Wars Pre-Episode III Figures

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 10/01/2004 3:49 PM

So, walk the dinosaur was from a whoopi goldberg moive, or Mario brothers? Something tells me it was from the Mario Brothers movie b/c I dont think I saw the Whoopi moive, I remember it being out tho!..I love Dinosaurs! "Not the mama not the mama" Classic!

Chestnuts roasted by I_HAVE_A_QUESTION!(no more) @ 10/01/2004 6:05 PM

"Dinosaurs" has to go back on someday. One of my favorite episodes of anything is a Dinosaurs episode. It’s where Earl (the dumb Homerish dad dinosaur) became a TV executive and selected really stupid programs, and everyone watched them and the programs actually MADE them stupid, proving what critics had been saying for years. It got so bad that civilization ground to a halt and Robbie kept forgetting how to breathe. In a panicked response, Earl canned the dumb shows and started putting on a bunch of extremely brainy, educational ones. My favorite: "Economics Hoedown."

"Hey Zeke! How can you tell when the falling rate of profit is due to an increase in the production rate per capita?"
"When production is due to a DECREASE in the overall utility! YEEEEE-HAAAAAW!!!"

Everyone watches the shows and gets smarter…then they get SO smart that they don’t want to watch TV anymore. Mom dinosaur: "We’ve all found better things to do with our lives! Today I thought I’d try my hand at isolating iron from unprocessed ore." Earl is fired and the other executives try to think of a way to lure all dinosaurs back to the TV again.
"All they want to do is read books!"
"Okay, then we’ll get them interested in TV again with a book. A very SPECIAL book…."

And so they invent the TV Guide and it lands on Earl’s doorstep.
"What’s that?"
"A book that was just delivered to the front door! It’s about TV."
"A book about TV? That doesn’t sound very intellectually stimulating."
"No, look! It’s got a crossword puzzle with the names of your favorite stars!"
"OOOO!!!"
"And look at THIS! The shows come on right when the book says they will! This is the greatest achievement of our time!!"

So the family gets back into the TV again and instantly starts getting dumber once more, including Robbie who had previously been about to launch Baby into orbit with a gigantic rocket he had been experimenting with. In the closing shots, it launches with no one noticing and Baby rockets into the sky screaming, "AGAIIIIIN…."

Best. Episode. Of. Anything. Ever. I could have typed the entire thing, but I’m only up for so long.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 10/02/2004 2:27 AM

- "NOT THE MAMA!"

I forgot about that! Wheehee!! I loved that. But the best bit was the way they had little furry mammal muppets to fry for supper… Man that brings back the early nineties! Wow! When Clueless had just come out and everyone wore GRUNGE! ( = long flowy clothes and lacy beanie hats and pendants on chains that reached to your knees… Bring Back Grunge!) Ten years of life just disappeared there for a second. Whoops. :)

Chestnuts roasted by eminentfreak shoots Timmy @ 10/02/2004 5:30 AM

It wuz moi birfday on the 30th of Sep-Tem-Ber. Yay! I’m 25 now! Someone shoot me, quick!!!

"Oooops, did that unstable vat of uranium explode "completely by accident" again?? Oh dear, LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER TIMMY!!!"

Sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by Timmy dies again @ 10/02/2004 5:37 AM

with this responce maybe there should be an article on Dinosaurs… my fave episode was the one where the son Robbie goes Vegetarian

Chestnuts roasted by Hikaru @ 10/02/2004 9:50 PM

I totally remeber that episode of Dinosaurs Mars, I also remember one where the sister orders a fake tail from tv, b/c hers didnt grow in yet… not sure what happens after, but I remember the brother (robbie) pulling on it and she gets all embarrest I really want to watch it again, just for old time sake!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ aka I have a question @ 10/02/2004 9:56 PM

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