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09/26/2004: Evil Snake Anti-Drug PSA, Nickelodeon, and Dumb Survey #12010.

It’s been over two years since his last appearance on X-E, but now, Evil Snakeman Drug Dealer is BACK! The scariest anti-drug public service announcement I’ve ever seen felt like it deserved a spot on the Halloween Countdown. Yeah, it’s a bit of a rehash for longtime readers, but this time, you can download the ad and watch the evil madness for yourself. Ssseriousssly, this was creepy stuff to see during the cartoon block after school.

And for those who asked, my first commercial for Nickelodeon is a spot for the upcoming Nick Hotel in Orlando — it’s a real short one, probably no more than fifteen seconds. I don’t have any specific air times, but it should be playing often enough for the next few weeks starting tomorrow. Not that they’re reading, but I’d like to thank the great people I work with for making this massive transition and learning experience so much easier for me. Great folks. Anyway, watch SpongeBob or something tomorrow/today. Lemme know if you catch it.

New Survey: Okay, pick any or all of these horror franchises, and name your favorite film from each series: A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween, Hellraiser and Child’s Play. Feel free to give reasons for your picks so the comments won’t look like a giant order form. I’ll post my own tomorrow.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 95 comments

first comment and a first time poster, what are the odds? And being a sheltered kid means limited viewability to scary movies… I’ve seen Halloween and Hellraiser and of the two I’d go with Halloween. Hellraiser just made me giggle too much to be scary.

Ghosted by Yorissa @ 09/26/2004 10:58 PM EDT

I remember seeing this as recently as the early 90s. The "snake-man" still has the power to make me fill my pants with crap.

Ghosted by Marshall @ 09/26/2004 10:58 PM EDT

Third post. Best I’ve ever done. Not saying much, but just saying.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 09/26/2004 11:02 PM EDT

F13th: Part IV, definitely.

ELM: Always loved Dream Child. Was less goofy than the other sequels.

CPLAY: The first one. Didn’t like the sequels.

HR: Ditto.

HALLOWEEN: Half-ditto. I liked the sequel, but not as much.

Ghosted by Jake @ 09/26/2004 11:03 PM EDT

Finally I get to see the PSA that inspired my favorite XE article! You should get the one with the crazy crackhead mom up for download too!

Ghosted by Mike @ 09/26/2004 11:16 PM EDT

Okay, Matt, I watch Spongebob Squarepants just for you

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 09/26/2004 11:20 PM EDT

The scariness of Snake is completely lost on me, once I noticed that they didn’t even try to sync up the words with his mouth movements. That’s just a sloppy PSA. But the new X-E logo before the film starts is a nice touch, Matt.

Ghosted by Evan @ 09/26/2004 11:24 PM EDT

for those of us who don’t get Nick, maybe post the commercial you did? For extra cool points.

Ghosted by Max @ 09/26/2004 11:26 PM EDT

ANOES: The first of course…He (Freddy) was evil, dirty, and generally fucking sick and frightening…The was he was INTENDED TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE…The comedy should be left to the comedians, not pizza-faced dream demons with razor-knives intent on torturing you and then eating your soul…

FT13th: Pt.7…He wasn’t just a supernatural horror equivalent to "The Goonies" "Sloth" by this point…He was a FUCKING UNDEAD ZOMBIE WITH A MISSION!!…By FAR the coolest looking Jason out of ANY of the films, EVEN 9…That and this installment was originally intended to BE "J Vs. F", but when rights didn’t go through, they replaced Freddy with that psychic chica…

Halloween: TIE: Pts. 1-2, which could technically could be considered ONE movie, as Pt. 2 picks up where Pt. 1 left off…Close to those would be 5-6 because they explain his origins (Even though Pt. 6 has TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CUTS of the film that explain different things)…

Childs Play: The FIRST, because it was fucking CREEPY and sick-incarnate…Close would be Pt.2 becuase of the "Good Guys" Factory sequence…

Hellraiser – Pt. 2 because of the "more Cenobites is a good thing" clause that the first didn’t have…The Cenobites *COULD* have at least fought back abit better with the insane "Dr." Cenobite though …

There’s my list…Enjoy.

Cheers.

Ghosted by Lanny D. Crepit @ 09/26/2004 11:57 PM EDT

I know it’s the easy way out, but I’d go with the first of each series. Those were always just the best ones. I’d give an honorable mention to Jason X, though. The actual movie was pretty much unwatchable, but the premise was brilliant. I wish I had a damn upgrading machine.

Ghosted by Ian @ 09/26/2004 11:59 PM EDT

Speaking of scary PSAs, I remember one that was shown to my 3rd grade class on Halloween. I’m sure it was sponsored by the ADA, or maybe simply Crest…basically scaring kids into making sure they brush their teeth after eating all that Halloween candy. It featured a disembodied voice sitting in a leather chair in a dark office telling kids about what could happen if they don’t brush their teeth…depicting plaque as monsters attacking their teeth. The video ended with the voice/ghost saying something like "You don’t want to know what could happen to your teeth! DO you? DOOO YOUUUUU?!"

Anyone else remember this?

Ghosted by The Dragon @ 09/27/2004 12:02 PM EDT

Nightmare: Dream Warriors – I love Kincaid’s outbursts.

Friday: Part VI – I can still remember the tv spot back in 1986 scaring the shit out of me as a kid. Plus the scene when Tommy has his face planted in Megan’s crotch while she is driving and she tells him its going to be a hairy turn is classic.

Halloween: The one with the boiling water scene… I think part 2

Hellraiser: Hellbound

C-Play: I was never really into any of the Child’s Play movies so I will substitute Phantasm 2

Ghosted by marcus the carcass @ 09/27/2004 12:19 PM EDT

He helped write it. I don’t know if I’d be able to see it even if I HAD cable—commercials for Florida hotels usually run in Florida.

Uh-oh…does that mean nobody is going to see your ad at all, Matt?

Ghosted by Mars @ 09/27/2004 12:54 PM EDT

Speaking of scary PSAs, I remember one that was shown to my 3rd grade class on Halloween. I’m sure it was sponsored by the ADA, or maybe simply Crest…basically scaring kids into making sure they brush their teeth after eating all that Halloween candy. It featured a disembodied voice sitting in a leather chair in a dark office telling kids about what could happen if they don’t brush their teeth…depicting plaque as monsters attacking their teeth. The video ended with the voice/ghost saying something like "You don’t want to know what could happen to your teeth! DO you? DOOO YOUUUUU?!"

Anyone else remember this?

Oh man, do I ever remember that thing!! The title of the film was "The Haunted Mouth." And The "disembodied voice" was B. Plaque, since you can’t see plaque this is the "joke." It’s about the only joke in it though. Not only does it include everything you mentioned above, but B. Plaque had a trophy shelf of disconnected teeth, which he proudly displayed while describing in glee the agony the former owners went through. And the teeth were bleeding! ON THEIR OWN!! THEY WERE %$#@@#$ DISCONNECTED BLEEDING TEETH!!!
At the end of the film is the biggest shocker of all–it’s done in "first-person" with the camera supposed to be you. B. Plaque cackles "SO JOIIIIN MEEEE! MOO HOO HA HA HAAAAA!!!!" and shoves ghostly donuts and cake into your face. That’s when you run out of the room, down the hall, through the front door to outside–NOOO!!! THE FRONT DOOR JUST LED BACK TO HIS OFFICE AGAIN!!!
"Nice try. But you’ll NEVER get away from ME. Your only hope is to brush and floss regularly, and avoid sugary snacks. But you don’t want to do that. Do you? DO YOU?"
The night after I saw it, I was so spooked out I had to sleep in my parents’ bed. This really did rival the snake. It was horrid.

Ghosted by Mars @ 09/27/2004 1:09 AM EDT

i like jason takes manhattan best. it was so funny.

Ghosted by 'tin man @ 09/27/2004 2:05 AM EDT

The only show I bother with on Nick is Drake & Josh, so hopefully it will come on then.

As far as the movies….
A Nightmare on Elm Street – I forget the numbers but it’s a tie between the first one, The one where the chick turns into a cockroach, and the one where the dude turns into a comic character

Friday the 13th – I was never a big fan of the series

Halloween – Never a big fan of this one either, but maybe 2 the one where Myers wasn’t even in it

Hellraiser – I think 2 and 3 always stands out in my mind for some reason

Child’s Play – First one is always a classic

Ghosted by Will @ 09/27/2004 2:13 AM EDT

I haven’t seen any movies from any of these franchises because I’m a big wimp. Not actually big, since I’m teeny, but my wimpness rating is astounding. Gremlins was pretty scary though.

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 09/27/2004 2:23 AM EDT

MATT. You seriously dont know how happy this has made me. Since 1992 have I wished to see this commercial again as it scared the crap out of me, and I only saw it once not knowing if it was even a commercial or a dream. Thank you so much!!!

Ghosted by AJ @ 09/27/2004 2:30 AM EDT

Matt-Dammit, I’m in Canada where we don’t get Nickelodeon, so I can’t watch your commercial. But maybe you can put it up for download er sum shit.

Anyway, I totally enjoyed the PSA download. Now if only you could’ve given us downloads of all those other PSAs youy reviewed in that one article awhile back. I really wanna see the one where the crackwhore mama freaks out.

Ghosted by Nate @ 09/27/2004 2:32 AM EDT

On the issue of PSAs and crap like that, I still have my old Spider-Man/Power Pack special comic book on sexual abuse/child molestation, which I got for free in pre-school. It had one scenario in which Spider-Man saves a little boy from being molested by his babysitter. And then there’s another story in which the Power Pack (a defunct superhero team comprised of little kids) helps a friend who’s being molested by her father.

Personally, I have one major issue with the Spider-Man story. Don’t get me wrong, I think babysitters molesting the very children that they babysit is horrid, but that’s not the issue here. The issue is the fact that the babysitter happens to be a woman. Now how often has this nation (the US, that is) ever had a serious issue with WOMEN molesting little BOYS?!? The message ofthe story was clear and all, but I think it would’ve mad emore sense if the baysitter were male. However, we DO get glimpse into Peter Parker’s childhood, in which we learn an interesting little secret of his own. I don’t think any other Spidey book has ever made this revelation.

Ghosted by Nate @ 09/27/2004 2:46 AM EDT

Oh yes, another thing I should point out: the fact that they were giving this out to pre-schoolers. My God! I didn’t even understand the damn thing when my parents read it to me as a kid! And when I was old enough to understand it, there were stil things about this comic book that didn’t make sense to me (as I have mentioned in my last post).

Oh well. I still like it, and wouldn’t dare give it up.

Ghosted by Nate @ 09/27/2004 2:51 AM EDT

I generally like the first chapter in most horror series’. They just tend to be… the creepiest of the lot. The first Nightmare and Halloween are hands down the best in their respective collections.. although the Dream Warriors were pretty kick-ass. Who would have thought a bunch of kids in a hospital being terrorized by Freddy could be so memorable?

Ghosted by Brian Hammons @ 09/27/2004 2:54 AM EDT

Oh, I remember that PSA. I always thought it was hilarious (I’m making thay up, it probably scared me, I can’t remember).

Uh, I’m not a huge horror movie fan, so I’ll have to say that none of those films are my favorites. Except Child’s Play, it’s comedy gold. What kid’s going to watch a thinly-disgised, animated effort to encourage sharing (the "Good Guys" cartoon)? Not many.

Nate- I’m sure it happens, women molesting boys, and if it happens at all, then we have a problem. We’ve got this screwed up sense of what’s "male" and what’s "female" as a society. Many boys who are molested by women probably don’t say anything about it since males are always supposed to be game for sex (or else there’s something wrong with them), and sexual contact at an earlier age is by and large considered a badge of "manliness".

Gee… that was kind of a downer, huh? I’d better end my post on a lighter note. Or divert attention with something else…

MATT, did you hear what they did to the end of Return of the Jedi?! WHY?!?

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 09/27/2004 3:11 AM EDT

Ok, wait, aliens sell drugs to earth kids?????

Ghosted by SuperStar @ 09/27/2004 3:22 AM EDT

Nightmare: Gotta be the first one.

Friday: Part VII. The commercials for it scared me as a kid, but I watched it years later and loved it. The sleeping bag scene is the best Friday death bar none.

Halloween: No contest, the first one. But part 2’s pretty good as well, since it’s in a hospital. Hospitals are pretty scary in the first place.

Hellraiser: I’ve got a soft spot for the original, but part 2 was ok. I just wish the Dr. Cenobite would have stopped with the lame one-liners.

Childs Play: The original still gives me goose bumps. The poster was the stuff of nightmares for me, and I loved how they slyly kept Chucky basically immoble to our eyes for a good chunk of the movie, until he finally came to life in the mother’s hands as she threatened to throw him into the fire.

Some other movies I reccomend:
Phantasm
Suspiria
Dawn of The Dead
Salem’s Lot (The Miniseries)

Ghosted by Number 5 @ 09/27/2004 6:33 AM EDT

Gonna watch Last starfighter the musical?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=89&ncid=789&e=10&u=/playbill/20040921/en_playbill/88513

Anyway, I like the one where Jason gets his hockey mask.

Ghosted by dggfdg @ 09/27/2004 8:01 AM EDT

I haven’t seen all the movies from all those series, but my favorite from the Hellraiser series is the first one.

My favorite from Child’s Play is the first one as well.

Ghosted by EyeLikeP00 @ 09/27/2004 8:21 AM EDT

Friday IV…Dead F..k…nuff said.

Ghosted by El Bang @ 09/27/2004 9:05 AM EDT

I agree with Mr. Crepit – Friday the 13th VII rules – Tina should work on the whole "cryin jordache freak-girl who’s bad with explanations" thing. I liked all the Halloween flicks except for the ‘Curse of Michael Meyers’ – that one lost me. I remember seeing the first Hellraiser and getting bored before the broad could kill enough people to bring back the thing in the closet. Good movie tip: check out ‘The Entity’ – that movie scares me worse than my parents callin me to borrow money.

Ghosted by Austin @ 09/27/2004 9:09 AM EDT

Crap, I’m 19 and that PSA STILL scares the bejebus out of me!!! The late 80s – early 90’s was a scary time for kids ad-wise! That Shriners ad with Bugs Bunny that you posted on here was pretty creepy, too! DAMN EVIL POTS!!!! Now I become paranoid whenever I’m cooking on the stove, constantly screaming at my boyfriend to "DON’T TOUCH THE DAMN STOVE, IT’S OOOOONNNNN!!!!!"

Ghosted by Sara @ 09/27/2004 9:14 AM EDT

Yeah, the 80’s in general were frightening years for a kid to grow up in.

Especially for someone such as myself, who has clinically diagnosed phobias of neon hair scrunchies, blue-jean jackets, mullets, and that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Coming Out Of Our Shells" Live Tour.

*shivers*

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 09/27/2004 9:29 AM EDT

When exactly is free cocaine day?

Ghosted by jhnnywalkr @ 09/27/2004 9:34 AM EDT

Oh yes, I forgot all about The Entity. That movie scared the living hell out of me the first time I saw it. That’s a frighteneing concept, an intruder you can’t see, and apparently never see (I was too scared to watch the whole thing.) who comes in and attacks you whenever it wants.

Ghosted by Number 5 @ 09/27/2004 9:40 AM EDT

If i’d seen THAT as a kid, i would’ve wanted to become a Snake-Man, jees, How cool is that???

Ghosted by Dr. Ugs @ 09/27/2004 9:44 AM EDT

First off…Matt…good work on the Halloween articles….

Second, I am definitely going to be watching for that commercial…Since you have some pull at Nick now…tell them we need more Slime…can never have enough slime…and they need to bring back You Can’t do that on TV just for the resurgence of slime shampoo…can never have enough slime shampoo…

As for the horror franchises…

Friday the 13th: I would have to say Part III…that was the first one when he had the mask. Plus, even though its not in 3D anymore…its awesome to watch for the moments that were supposed to be in 3D…the poker that is pointed at the screen a little too long, for example…

Nightmare on Elm St.: although I love the 3rd one and the New Nightmare…I think the first one is the only one that stands up as a really excellent horror movie…

Halloween: I really love this franchise. I love part 2 and part 4 is extremely good…the niece storyline was excellent. I even loved the revenge of Michael Myers…after that, it all went to shit. Yeah, anyways, the first one is still the best though

Child’s Play: Now, this one goes the opposite of the Nightmare series for me. In nightmare, I would definiely go with #1, since its the scariest, but with CP, I gotta go with Bride of Chucky. That movie tickles me in a way that if Loretta tickled me that way, I would go oh baby, yeah, thats the spot…

Hellraiser…There are really only two to choose from here…after the second, the rest sucked. The first one is def the best though…genuinely scary, I thought…

Ghosted by Goody @ 09/27/2004 10:13 AM EDT

This freaken PSA is burned into my memory for all eternity. It scared the living bejezus out of me as a kid. For all you non-NYers: did you see this PSA too? Or was is just meant to frighten NY’s children?

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 09/27/2004 10:21 AM EDT

This freaken PSA is burned into my memory for all eternity. It scared the living bejezus out of me as a kid. For all you non-NYers: did you see this PSA too? Or was is just meant to frighten NY’s children?

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 09/27/2004 10:24 AM EDT

I grew up in Mass…and I saw that PSA…

Ghosted by Goody @ 09/27/2004 10:26 AM EDT

Friday the 13th : The one starring Cory Feldmen .. AS DONETTELO! Woah man, sorry, I mean as some whacked out kid.

Nightmare on Elm St. : The one with Johnny Depp.

Hellraiser : The one that goes from France to SPACE!! Just great. Ah .. hahahaha.

Halloween : The one with Busta Rhymes!! WOO HA! Got you all in check foo’.

And overall. NONE. Because horror franchise movies SUCK.

READ A BOOK!

Ghosted by big lounging @ 09/27/2004 10:27 AM EDT

My favourite Friday the 13th was the one with Corey Feldman wearing that bald cap. Which one is that, IV?

Halloween: I hated most of these movies, but I guess I hated the first one the least.

Nightmare: I didn’t see any of these until they had been out for like 15 years. Whichever one had the girl with the track marks turning into little suckers was the best one for me.

Child’s Play: Bride of Chucky, easily.

HellRaiser: Never seen a one. This vote would go to Evil Dead 2 if it could.

Ghosted by Niq @ 09/27/2004 10:56 AM EDT

Nightmare on elm street 3

Ghosted by Jared @ 09/27/2004 11:29 AM EDT

First time poster — also the premiere expert of 80’s cartoons and horror movies -
It’s Friday 13th parts 2 and 7 for the respective killing a kid in a wheelchair with a machete in the face and then showing him tumble down steep stairs and in pt 7 jason slams a girl into a tree in her sleeping bag (must’ve been popular cuz it was re-done in jason X)
Nightmare pt 1 was definitely the best, though kincaid yellin "take that you mother****" in pt 4 is classic and pt 3 was a superb movie all around as well (obviously the inspiration for the harry potter series)
Hellraiser 2 is an amazing flick, though Hellraiser as a whole is overrated by the cult followers
childs play one is pretty good — but I grew up with the kid who plays Andy so that takes a lot away from parts one and 2 and actually the rest of the series ( i was at the premiere of the first when I was 7 so it just wasnt scary)
Halloween 4 is soooo good but everyone seems to hate it. Part one is technically the best, but part two is great and part 4 is great. Ill have to say Mike was most brutal in pt 2 with the scolding water and the hammer to the security guy’s head.
Texas chainsaw pt 1 always great, but pt 2 with hopper is just a trip! doesnt make sense, isnt scary, and couldve been mroe violent… but its just so funny to see leatherface put that chainsaw by the girl’s thingy.

movies that shouldntve been made
nightmare 6
halloween 8
jason goes to hell, jason x
hellraisers after pt 3
texas next generation

Ghosted by Brian @ 09/27/2004 11:34 AM EDT

I saw it once, and I live in Illinois, so it must’ve been national. I agree that Snake was jarring, but I got over him quick.
The one that REALLY scared me came years afterward. It showed a teenage girl snorting crack in her room, while a deadpan voiceover stated that the effect cocaine has on your brain is the same as drowning. And to drive the point home during all this, they show the girl’s room suddenly fllooding with water, slowly drowning her to death in an especcially horrible manner, and all the while the voiceover drones, "So when you think you’re sniffing, your brain thinks you’re drowining. And your brain is pretty much right."

Ghosted by TB Tabby @ 09/27/2004 11:59 AM EDT

I definitely remember that one, but my favorite is still "Crack babies, Killin’ babies!"

Ghosted by marcus the carcass @ 09/27/2004 12:18 PM EDT

I can remember going to the movies as a kid in the mid-to-late 80’s, and they’d used to have these little PSA’s that would come out before the movie, adressing the drug known as Crack.

All I can remember was that whoever they chose to speak to the audience just looked at the camera and said with dead-seriousness "Crack…can KILL you!" Then I think they showed a bottle of what I guess was crack, while this horrible sound, which sounded a lot like a distorted rapid heartbeat echoed through the theater. It scared the living hell out of me. Why the hell couldn’t they have kept that on TV I often wonder?

Ghosted by Number 5 @ 09/27/2004 12:29 PM EDT

The first movies of each series, of course.

Then, from each one…

Dream Warriors, like Battle Beyond the Stars, they spend all this time to gather the fighters, and then decimate almost all of them.

New Blood, I liked the psychic girl. And voice-over actress Susan Bluwas in it.

Season of the Witch, I like to sing "X more days ’til Hallowe’en, Hallowe’en, Hallowe’en…"

The HellRaiser that took place on the space station. Like any horror franchise that ends up in space, it’s funnier in execution. (cue Al Bundy voice) tee-hee!

The CP at the military academy. "Chucky’s gonna be a Bro." But I like Tiffany from "Bride.

I remember SnakePusher. I love that PSA.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 09/27/2004 12:44 PM EDT

Dude… that wasn’t creepy, but then again, I thought that the dude looked like Remmy from "Sliders"… at least what I saw of him. I’m just not scared of Remmy!

What creeped me out were those CGI robots that bookended "Beakman’s World". They were only on the CBS and TLC airings, too.
BTW, Beakman can kick Bill Nye The Science Guy’s ass.

Teddy Ruxpin and the 90s DiC Kid-In-Bed logo freaked me out, too. Beware of the talking demonic bear.

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 09/27/2004 12:51 PM EDT

I wonder if those of us living in Orlando are more likely or less likely to see Matt’s commercial, considering that we probably wouldn’t slap down money for a hotel in our own backyards. Hopefully by the time the hotel opens, hurricane season will be over and we’ll stop getting bitch-slapped over and over again…

Ghosted by purplegirl247 @ 09/27/2004 12:55 PM EDT

Halloween-the first one
Child’s Play-the first one was the best by far.
Nightmare On Elm Street-probably the first one
Hellraiser-don’t like any of these movies.
Friday The 13th-can’t pick a favorite.

Usually the first movie in a series is alway’s the best.

Ghosted by Liz @ 09/27/2004 1:11 PM EDT

Thank you, Matt. Not only have you given me the ability to watch this commercial and come to terms with my childhood demons, but you alluded to my one true goal in life: to write and direct a live action movie based on "Bad Dudes".

"This summer… Don’t get mad… Get *Bad*!"

Ghosted by Gavok @ 09/27/2004 1:13 PM EDT

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