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09/06/2004: S’Mores Wars.

Here’s a quick article on two of the many S’Mores Makers that’ve hit the market recently. You don’t need a campfire to have your grahamy choco marshgoodness these days — all you need are some sterno cups and a low-watt bulb. Featured in the article is the “Hershey’s S’Mores Maker,” a kiddy device, and the “Casamoda Indoor/Outdoor S’Mores Maker,” a machine meant for people much better than you or I.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 105 comments

Wait a minute! Can’t you just you use the stove you probably already have??
Matt should get paid for talking about these products that no one needs.

Ghosted by dfgg @ 09/07/2004 12:09 PM EDT

Matt needs to get paid more than he is, for two reasons. One, because his articles are good. And two, because he needs a new table, one without green Contact paper on it.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 09/07/2004 1:38 AM EDT

OK, I just realized its a patio table, so that’s totally different.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 09/07/2004 1:40 AM EDT

I’m going to have to pick up that nicer machine. Even though I realize that i probably don’t need it…..maybe i’ll give it to someone, then make them use it for me. They’d also be storing for me.

Ghosted by ASFJKHELFJSWLgVOISUDJGKS @ 09/07/2004 2:32 AM EDT

phunqsauce, every Star Wars fan should read this Film Threat interview with the producer of the original two films, Gary Kurtz.

Ghosted by ME @ 09/07/2004 2:35 AM EDT

I went to a lock-in with my church once, about 15 years ago as a junior high kid…

We played a game called "Chubby Bunny" involving sticking those stupid, engorged, enormous marshmallows in your mouth, one at a time and seeing who could still say the words "CHUBBY BUNNY" without vomiting.

Well, most got to 10 or 12, but I got to 16 without having the Ultimate Vomit right infront of all of my fellow peers… the taste of marshmallows was just too gross, and the gooey white stickiness was oozing down my throat and set off my gag-reflex like none-other. It was even worse than that paste-clay stuff that they put around your teeth in the dentist’s office to take a molding for braces. And that’s BAD!

Anyway, I want you to know that your article helped me to relive that experience about 10-times over, and I dry-heaved right here at my computer screen.

Uhm, needless to say, I don’t like s’mores anymore!

Ghosted by Barry J. Deeper @ 09/07/2004 11:44 AM EDT

Oh, to conclude the story from before, I eventually met a guy who was able to stuff 23 marshmallows in his mouth without gagging, but I think he was gay… which may not speak to the marshmallows, but it may speak to the gag-reflex. Being a hetrosexual, there was only so much I could do.

Dont think about it too much.

As a Post-Text to the story, I have heard that many churches no longer allow that game to be played b/c some kid in Indiana actually died from it.

Ghosted by Barry J. Deeper @ 09/07/2004 11:47 AM EDT

Best thing about the ol’ Chubby Bunny, is making the other guy lose. Here’s how I made Little Brother blow the remains of about 20 ‘mellers: I looked him square in the eye, and said, "But do they come out crunchy in the microwave?" Now even I don’t know why a non sequitor from a fishstick ad came to mind, but the result was spectacular. Ever see marshmallow goo come out someone’s nose?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 09/07/2004 1:45 PM EDT

Samantha Newark talks about Jem and The Holograms. Do not confuse her with the current UK singer actually named Jem.

Ghosted by ME @ 09/07/2004 2:09 PM EDT

"The slight downward thrust could be credited just as much to gravity than the heat lamp."

Bwahahahahahahah!!

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 09/07/2004 2:14 PM EDT

S’mores aren’t half as bad for you as cigarettes, Matt.

Ghosted by 4thDown @ 09/07/2004 2:47 PM EDT

I just travelled through time and the 4th wall and I must say that was a boring s’mores. What’s the un-abbrieviated name for s’mores anyway? I will use these divices to cook rat meat in the appocalyptic future.

Ghosted by eric foreman @ 09/07/2004 2:58 PM EDT

The changes to the SW DVDs aren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. Don’t get me wrong, as I am majorly pissed off about the Jango Fett dubbing and Hayden Christensen being put in ROTJ, but stuff like fixing the Dianoga eye and the Rancor’s matte lines are good.

Ghosted by Behonkiss @ 09/07/2004 3:14 PM EDT

I think those Russel Stovers pre-made S’mores are pretty good…..

Ghosted by Jessie @ 09/07/2004 3:46 PM EDT

Well, king, you are the Ruler of All Those Non-Sequitor-esque. Little Brother knew he had no chance, once you opened your mouth and started to talk.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 09/07/2004 4:32 PM EDT

Yeah, I hear’d ’bout the kid who died. Seems they were using miniature ‘mallows. One of the little buggers decided to go down the wrong pipe. End result: no mo’ Chubby Bunny. Also known as The Day Stay-Puft Cried.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 09/07/2004 5:26 PM EDT

Forget the Chia Saga. WHERE THE HELL IS THE SUPER-NATURAlS ARtICLE!!! ALso, WHat do you have against regular Mighty Beanz Matt. THe New Series Four is really pretty cool.

Ghosted by TOM @ 09/07/2004 11:54 PM EDT

Next experiment…Try making cereal smores with Golden Grahams cereal, a Cocoa Pebbles piece and a Lucky Charms marshmellow. :)

Ghosted by Garrison @ 09/08/2004 2:36 AM EDT

First????

Uh… I guess not.

Ghosted by Sweetie @ 09/08/2004 8:39 AM EDT

I think that UK singer Jem should dress up as Jem from Jem and the Holograms :)

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 09/08/2004 10:13 AM EDT

I give the Casamoda a huge thumbs-up. (Serious, yo. My thumbs are like Uma Thurman’s in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.) The only problem is having to buy cans of sterno for it… The staff at my friendly local Wal-Mart had no idea what it was. Someone finally managed to direct me to the camping equipment… Anyway, Casamoda rocks, and the sterno makes it rock with a pretty blue flame that roasts those Fluffy-Puffs quite nicely.

Ghosted by Jeremy @ 09/08/2004 10:48 AM EDT

I’ve never had a smore in my life, not even a fake one. Now I want one! :( !
(What Chia article?) *goes and looks*

Ghosted by Sarah @ 09/08/2004 12:46 PM EDT

Is there any safe way to eat a smores? I can never manage not to get that crap on my hands when I bite into it.

The Gram crackers are always sectioned off bigger then any normal sized mouth so you can forget about cramming the whole thing in at once.

Besides I like to nibble and eat slow. Shoving the whole thing in to avoid sticky hands just ruins the moment.

So if anyone has any tips on how to correctly eat a smores please post them.

Ghosted by Novaximus @ 09/08/2004 1:55 PM EDT

keep going with the "worst [stuff] ever" expositories…I havnt been on for a while but laughed my ass off about the arcade, golf course and snake zoo.

Ghosted by missy @ 09/08/2004 2:53 PM EDT

Matt the hit parade was great to see. I didnt know I was the only one who thought those articles were your best ones. do you actually read or consider what we say about what you write? well, if so, thanks for taking into consideration our fav. reviews.

Ghosted by missy @ 09/08/2004 3:19 PM EDT

I love the Lilian Vernon reference! Matt, you need to do a segment on the pros and cons of "Shopping with Walter Drake". How one man could so deftly satisfy the needs of ninety year old women and gay men at the same time is a marvel of human accomplishment!

Ghosted by mayorofsantaclara @ 09/08/2004 3:29 PM EDT

I like to dip my marshmallow in Grand Marnier before I toast it. It’s so yummy! Try it!

Ghosted by Gretchen @ 09/08/2004 4:43 PM EDT

im british, i have no idea on S’mores. please fill me in! these things rock.

are they like chocomallow pop tarts?

Ghosted by soapdish @ 09/09/2004 8:26 AM EDT

The yuppies in the box photo might be discussing things like stocks, too. They might be talking about how much they feel like rugged individuals by supporting Bush/Cheney.

I love Republicans. They are so cute! Catch Republican fever!

Weeee! 4 more years! Gimme another one of them ribbon stickers for my S-Series Ford! I ain’t no loser–I’m a cute little Republican.

Ghosted by Christian @ 09/09/2004 12:06 PM EDT

I like smores if the marshmellows aren’t burnt, but the smores candy bars are crappy.

Ghosted by springsprite @ 09/09/2004 8:46 PM EDT

Uhhh…Matt? That "cow" is actually a moose…just thought you’d like to know. ;)

/friend of The Dragon, and also girlfriend of The Dragon’s roommate is from Canada and sees moose all the time.

Ghosted by The Dragon @ 09/09/2004 9:00 PM EDT

I always did like my s’mores Cajun-blackened…

Ghosted by Seburo @ 09/10/2004 8:31 PM EDT

Me too

Ghosted by Joe @ 09/11/2004 9:19 AM EDT

it wasn’t until abot six months ago that I saw how people actually make smores. When I was a kid, we just wrapped up the whole she-nag in foil and threw it on the embers for about five minutes. This whole heating up the puffy goodness, then rushing it onto the grahm cracker is new for me

Ghosted by jason @ 09/11/2004 12:28 PM EDT

Soapdish: asked, what is a smores?

Smores is an American camping tradition. You would roast a marshmellow on a stick over the camp fire. Then sandwich that marshmellow with a hunk of chocolate between two gram crackers.

It tastes better then you would think, but they are messy as hell.

You have a gooey sticky marshmellow covering all the safe spots to grab it. Then you have the pressure of eating it before the chocolate starts to drip from the heat.

On top of all this the gram crackers are like 2×2 inches which demands you to take it in with 2 bites sometimes 3.

The catch is you can’t eat it with a knife and fork. It won’t cut well and you’ll loose the proper ratio of ingredients to get that magical bite.

It’s hard to make too. It’s a balancing act to hold the stick in one hand, while pulling the marshmellow off, then bracking the chocolate chunk while having your two gram crackers on stand by all the while you are still in your chair by the camp fire.

Ghosted by Novaximus @ 09/11/2004 4:07 PM EDT

Wow, what a fun night tonight. Me and my friends went to Toys-R-Us to hit the green tag sale, then came back to my house, made a fire out in the field, and cooked Smores. Made me think of X-E all the way…

Ghosted by XTacy @ 09/12/2004 12:19 PM EDT

i just have to tell you-
i am at work and took a big sip of cranberry cocktail juice, scrolled down to the part about "satan bottlefucking the mom" and promptly projectile spit the juice out onto my keyboard. that was hilarious. good article.

Ghosted by monkeyfeet @ 09/12/2004 3:38 PM EDT

Smores are incredibly easy to make, my mom taught me this. Just put the graham cracker with 1/2 chocolate bar (or however much you want) on top of a paper towel in the microwave. Put a large marshmallow on top and turn it on high until the marshmallow swells up HUGE (usually under 30 secs, so keep an eye on it), then take it out and mash down with a second graham. Deliciousness.

Ghosted by Lauren From DC @ 09/14/2004 1:47 PM EDT

Gretchen, you’re suggesting a good way to start a bad fire, there.

I’m a cute little republican.

And the smores recipe I posted above is decidedly neater than the campfire version.

Ghosted by Lauren from DC @ 09/14/2004 1:50 PM EDT

Join the Dark Chocolate of the S’mores, Luke.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 09/14/2004 3:17 PM EDT

omg these lil plastic grills arent gonna cut it. we need 1 foot by 1 foot marshmallows, 2 x 2 foot crackers, a lot of topping, and a huge bonfire.

then, feed a family of 27 immigrants for a month. thats hunger control!

Ghosted by 1215 @ 09/15/2004 5:01 PM EDT

wow, my xmas shopping is going to be done way early this year.

Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker! Casamoda s’more maker!

Ghosted by spazzamatic @ 09/16/2004 2:30 PM EDT

my family got the fancy one and it’s awsome! The things hold the paices and the top even burndt a whole thru the table cloth! o and i only like me marsh mallows burndt

Ghosted by Nikki @ 09/16/2004 10:20 PM EDT

Wow, that Casamoda one looks like a fondue thing. Oh wait, its a fondue cooking doohickey with the pot holder taken off and disheds added. How badass is that? I’m gonna go buy one. Any excuse to use jellied flammables is a good one, and here me and my friends are, huddled around a bare sterno can cooking marshmallows like damn hobos!

Ghosted by EhhEff @ 09/17/2004 1:30 AM EDT

Lauren from DC-

It’s not jet fuel or anything – quite harmless, really…

The people in that picture might even be discussing zinger option! HAHA!

"Kitten, mightn’t it be smashing if we add a little *naughty* zing to our s’mores?"

"Cheeky notion! I’ve got something delightfully precocious right here in the wet bar….!"

"…Aren’t we just DEVILS tonight!?"

"My, yes, aren’t we though! Anyone for a rousing game of badminton?"

Ghosted by Gretchen @ 09/17/2004 1:20 PM EDT

Walter Peck….classic.

Ghosted by Derek @ 09/18/2004 5:48 AM EDT

hehe now im hungry… r u kiddin? that hershey’s smores maker looked like the crappiest thing in the world. the other one looked way cooler… my friend has one. my fave poptarts are smores though.

Ghosted by LenaK14 @ 09/19/2004 8:45 PM EDT

God I am not sure if I should submit something right here. I haven’t been a faithful follower of the s’mores effect. I think it’s because my few attempts while camping with the family as a kid, failed. Has anyone else figured out what to do with a burning marshmallow that was originally intended to be placed atop a graham cracker and a slab of chocolate?
anyhow, I hear that tinfoil is the secret tool to the ultimate s’more. Don’t ask me how it’s done.
As for that it’s a moose, it’s a cow argument, It’s horns are like a cow, but it has the profile and shape of a moose’s head. Yeah, I live north of the border, too, but of the all the moose I’ve seen, 9 out of ten have been fiberglass.

Ghosted by Bitsy&Roary @ 09/25/2004 1:49 PM EDT

God I am not sure if I should submit something right here. I haven’t been a faithful follower of the s’mores effect. I think it’s because my few attempts while camping with the family as a kid, failed. Has anyone else figured out what to do with a burning marshmallow that was originally intended to be placed atop a graham cracker and a slab of chocolate?
anyhow, I hear that tinfoil is the secret tool to the ultimate s’more. Don’t ask me how it’s done.
As for that it’s a moose, it’s a cow argument, It’s horns are like a cow, but it has the profile and shape of a moose’s head. Yeah, I live north of the border, too, but of the all the moose I’ve seen, 9 out of ten have been fiberglass. I’d say it’s a strange moosecow lovechild, or maybe some sort of weird bull I’ve never heard of. We can safely assume it was SUPPOSED to be a moose…you know, camping, in the the woods, but the Graphic Artist goofed there. Or got tired with the Bryce 3d.

Ghosted by Bitsy&Roary @ 09/25/2004 1:50 PM EDT

–>> ..i f7ckin’ told everyone that real wood was made of plastic.. but you all f6ckin’ called me crazy..

.. well sh6t..

Ghosted by ~tOkKa @ 10/08/2004 5:15 AM EDT

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