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The Killer Spider.

It's a pretty nice day, so I took pictures for the next article outside. As I was setting shit up, there he was...the killer spider. Though the pic makes him look about 5000x larger and scarier than he was in reality, it's never been common for me to find anything resembling an exotic spider around here. Mostly we get plain old black bugs and a few daddy longleggios. This spider is obviously neither, and I'll bet you 50 bucks I'd be dead by now had it bit me.

The continuity displayed between this entry and the previous both being about something arachnous was completely intentional. And arachnous really is a word.

Posted by Matt on 09/05/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 57 comments

1st post! I hate spiders

Chestnuts roasted by Gnarkill @ 09/05/2004 4:47 PM

Yeah I hate spiders too. Havent been around much lately but I’m back :)
Also wanted to mention Dave Coulier is making his comeback. He is on the new season of The Surreal Life XD Fear for your lives….

2nd Post!!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 09/05/2004 4:49 PM

SSSSPPPPYYYYDDDDDOOOORRRRR!

Spiders are cool.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash with eight legs @ 09/05/2004 5:04 PM

Damn my arachnaphobia.

…It’s adorable though.

Chestnuts roasted by Yellow Snowman @ 09/05/2004 5:26 PM

Holy shit, that’s creepy!

Gotta ask you, Matt, did you kill it or let it live? I’ll admit, I would’ve smashed it myself. Sure, you can make the argument that it was outside in the natural environment and not invading your home, but like you said above, it could’ve killed you just as easily. I hate spiders.

Chestnuts roasted by Aberration @ 09/05/2004 5:26 PM

Nah, I rarely kill land rovin’ bugs. Especially since we were outside.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/05/2004 5:30 PM

We have that exact kind of spider all over the place in Oregon.

Chestnuts roasted by cowtown @ 09/05/2004 5:52 PM

Speaking of Dave Coulier(and isn’t everyone?), I’m guessing he’s going to emerge in the MC Hammer/Erik Estrada mode of "only person who can act like a grown up" in the Surreal Life house.
Curse you VH1 for your Surreal Life marathon, the show not exciting enough to wait a week to find out what happened, but pretty damn addictive when strung together. You know these are some C-List celebrities when you hope to emerge looking as good as Hammer or Ponch…
As far as spiders go, I’ve seen a brown recluse, I’ve known a brown recluse, you sir are no brown recluse…

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 09/05/2004 5:53 PM

sorry to sound like an asshole Matt but thats a common garden spider……………………………i think brown recluse are poisonous though

Chestnuts roasted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 09/05/2004 6:08 PM

10th post.

We have those kind of spiders all over. I like ‘em.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 09/05/2004 6:10 PM

yeah spiders kick ass…..im gonna buy a zebra legged tarantula

Chestnuts roasted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 09/05/2004 6:13 PM

You don’t sound like an asshole. I was hoping someone could identify him. Believe it or not, common garden spiders aren’t all that common ’round here. At least, for those of us who don’t garden or approach gardeny areas. To put things into perspective, ANY spider that looks remotely fuzzy and not just like an ant with big legs seems otherworldly to find out in the open here.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/05/2004 6:14 PM

Hey, I just saw an ad on tv for Shaun of the Dead. Indeed it does look very appealing. I am also interested in Team America: World Police because it has fucked up Thunderbirds style puppetry and its from matt stone and trey parker who do quality work. yay….or something.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/05/2004 6:23 PM

its kinda fun posting and coming back every 10 minutes seeing a response……thats kinda weird that theres no big spiders around there…..the biggest spider ive ever seen had 7 inch legs and was about 3 inches from my face under someones house

i think it was a dock spider

Chestnuts roasted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 09/05/2004 6:24 PM

Damn matt, you should see the wolf spiders out where i live. Talk about fuckin hairy ass spiders!! And they’re HUGE too!!! They normally don’t show themselves though because they like hiding in dark places so you gotta kinda look for ‘em. Mmmmmmmmmmm….yummy.

Chestnuts roasted by phunsauce @ 09/05/2004 6:26 PM

If only arachnous really was a word, oh what a world it would be.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 09/05/2004 6:35 PM

Kill the little bastard.

I usually find Daddy Longlegs around the outside parts of my house, then I hose down the little bastards.

Chestnuts roasted by RPharazon @ 09/05/2004 7:13 PM

i’m pretty sure the "daddy longlegs" is the most poisonous spider out there beut since its mouth is too small it cannot puncture your skin.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/05/2004 7:18 PM

Woo! My first post from after my vacation!

But anyways…that’s a pretty scary looking spider. I’m imagining someone killing it with the heel of one of those old-timey cowboy boots for some reason…

And speaking of Erik Estrada, he plays Marco on Sealab 2021, but he never brings it up. Weird…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/05/2004 7:19 PM

Estrada wore a Sealab 2021 shirt on The Surreal Life.

Chestnuts roasted by Gnarkill @ 09/05/2004 7:45 PM

there are a bunch of spiders around where i live. the ones that scare the beejesus out of me are those damn jumping spiders. those are scary mfers.

and one of these days i will watch sealab 2021, it’s never on when i’m watching. always home movies
damn

Chestnuts roasted by Randy @ 09/05/2004 7:57 PM

Domain: Eukarya
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Arthropoda
Class: Arachnida
Order: Araneae
Family: ?
Genus:?
Species:?

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/05/2004 8:24 PM

Matt, I’m trying my best to identify the name (scientific and common name) of the spider you found. But as this hierachical system shows us, I do not know what family, genus, and species the spider belong to. According to some of websites I look at, it is very hard to identify the difference between some spiders as for example some spiders may belong to same genus and species, but they may be in different color. Make hard for you to id. your spider. But like sexynigelthepharoahwizard said, it’s not a brown recluse.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/05/2004 8:50 PM

Ew! I hate spiders and even though it was outside, I still would have killed it, I guess I’m evil. There’s a daddy longlegs that stays right by my front door, and no matter how many times I knock it off, it comes right back. Someone else broght up wolf spiders. I had never seen one until we were building our house,and in the basement there was this huge ass spider, I’m sure there’s tons more living in the walls of my house.

Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 09/05/2004 9:25 PM

I just saw this Hostess wedding cake link on Fark: http://www.twinkies.com/worldofwacky/delaplane.asp

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 09/05/2004 9:31 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 5th, 2004 at 4:45 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.