The X-Entertainment Blog

08/31/2004: Cap’n Crunch Cereal Goes Blue!

Cap’n Crunch Goes Blue, Yo:
It had to happen sometime, though I’m having trouble explaining exactly why. If you’re a kid wrapped in a dirty old guy’s body, you’ve probably seen the new Cap’n Crunch commercial, where everyone’s favorite seafaring breakfast pusher teams up with those weird looking kids from Rocket Power to splash lots of water around and crash boats. Somehow, that led to the Cap’n’s (is that correct?) Crunch Berries cereal to become available, for a limited time, with corn and oat bits that change color in milk!

We’ve been waiting for color changing cereal for a long time, all of us. Our prayers have finally been answered.

Anyway, I think this is how it goes: the usual Crunch Berries have been replaced with Rocket Power shapes — that kid with the dreds, rollerblades, yadda yadda — and some/all of these new additions have been thoroughly injected with food coloring that, when moistened in milk, lets loose with all kinds of radioactive blue breakfast action. Yeah, that’s how it goes. I don’t particularly care for the Cap’n shilling all these new shapes as actual Crunch Berries, one of the traits of this campaign that mucks up decades of Cap’n Crunch cereal commercial continuity. I guess it’s a small price to pay to get a bowl of milk that looks like something guys who like Worf would compare Romulan Ale to.

Frankly, the cereal business in of itself has become really, really fun to watch over the past few years. I’ve done plenty of articles detailing some special promotion from eons ago, but these days, every cereal has a gimmick. Next time you’re at the supermarket, stroll down the cereal aisle and try to make sense of what you’re seeing. Color changing Cap’n Crunch doesn’t begin to illustrate just how insane breakfast has become. I’d probably consider myself a spoiled child who had pretty liberal parents, but we never had more than one kind of cereal in the house at a time. When I visit my siblings and sift through their cupboards for stuff to steal, I can’t help noticing that they’re buying like, a dozen different cereals for their kids on each shopping trip. It’s easily explained: kids who see these wild promotions need to take part in all of them, so if the Cap’n dyes his morning crap, that’s just another in a long line of things children cannot possibly live without. Who wants to walk into the schoolyard and be the only jimmyjack who didn’t shit blue the night before?

Anyway, I can’t say the gimmick actually works too well. I mean, it works, but the milk is the only thing in that bowl that’s truly blue and not just mud-colored from dried dye. I’m actually a bit surprised that Quaker pulled this stunt — some of you remember “Smurfberry Crunch,” right? Stuff got pulled off the market for — and I swear this is true — turning kids’ excrement unpalatable shades of blue. It was all completely harmless of course, but still a turnoff. I did notice that Cap’n Crunch’s experiment not only turns cereal and milk blue, but also bowls, spoons and lips. It’s no Alien Fruit Monster, but few things are. Speaking of which, I’ll give you an update on ol’ AFM next time I feel like talking about cereal. So maybe tonight.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Wow, I never thought I would be first poster before. I shall treat myself to some Cap’n. Because he makes it happ’n.

It’s a retarded idea, but nowhere near as retarded as that blue carrot bullshit that Kellogg’s Apple Jacks was trying to pull. I probably won’t be having this cereal.

Klasky Csupo has the ugliest looking current animation art in my opinion, but their work on the earlier seasons of "The Simpsons" is still my favorite visually for that series.

Cereal folk like yourselves may find this trivia amusing: NZ cereal king Don Hubbard - maker of Berry,Berry Nice and other cereals- made a shock announcement that he was running for Auckland mayor a week ago and is now leading the polls by like 5%. First you take over the breakfast table, then you take over the world. Mwahahaha.
Auckland is like the New York of NZ for those that don’t know. Only much, much lamer…

I love cereal articles, even if it;s in the blog!! I wish they still made the Marshmallow Rice Krispies that had the little barrel shaped marshmallows….it’s kind of funny, I will suddenly get a craving for some childhood food and then discover they no longer make it, and then I’ll be pissed off for like a week. And my grocery stores still have not gotten any fucking Pudding Pops!! AEERRRGGGHHTTRR!!!

"Stuff got pulled off the market for — and I swear this is true — turning kids’ excrement unpalatable shades of blue."

At least it wasn’t another case of a product being recalled because some kids and thier parents were dumbasses. :\

Why did those parents know what color their kid’s poop was anyway? I’m not always sure what color my own poop is.

Mom: It’s your mother. I’m on turd patrol this week. Clean your booty and open the door. I’m gonna need a fresh sample to send to the lab.

Of subject but I need help. I just restored an old NES system I bought at an auction and am looking for a game but can’t remember the name. It was kind of like Commando but was better. I thought it was Contra but wrong again. It was really close to Commando in game play and style….anyone have any ideas?

Wow! One update after another. I ate some of that Captain Crunch that change blue in milk. It was alright, but why did have promotion the stupid Rocket Power kids. Yes, I know you work for Nick, but Rocket Power does not make any sense at all with the kids use some words we never heard of and often insulting visiting guest to the beach. Even the Captain Crunch did make sense with two children yell at the poor island native for taking them to beach with no waves (and later the boy was skating on blue milk wave, huh). Geesh, in my opinion, Quaker should got at least Lilo & Stitch (aka 626) or somebody else to promote the cereal.

In another Disney-cereal related story, Kelloggs just releash "Finding Nemo" marshmallow with related comerical with a shark (with a shirt on) eating the bowl of the cereal and saying, "Fish are friend, not food."

That might be it, I’m looking at some screen shots right now and I am not sure. It’s driving me crazy. I remember that you could pick up different weapons as you went along….it’s making me nuts.

Garp — could it be P.O.W.? I find that every time I’m trying to remember such a game and it ISN’T Ikari Warriors, it’s P.O.W.

Ah oh ho oh. Do not be forgetting game from me homeland, classic Rush’n Attack. Could this be it, yes?

Thanks but that isn’t it - it had an overhead view like commando. Maybe I’m thinking of a Sega game or something. I don’t know but if I can’t find it I’ll be a mental wreck. I fixed the NES just for Tyson’s Punchout, Pro Wrestling and this mystery game. And Dr. Mario for the wife. But now I am slowly going insane. But I do appreciate the help!

Hmm…a commando game, sounds like it could be one amongst a good third of all NES games ever made. Was it Iron tank? Guerilla War? Who knows?

I think it may have been Guerilla War! It looks familar and I just read a review on it that sounds dead on. I’ll go down to the Game exchange here in town this weekend and trade in my Contra or Commando for it and hopefully this will be it. If not, I’ll try Iron Tank. Thanks again, guys, I can’t believe I can’t remember the name of the damn game…

Yeah. Guerilla War rocks. I actually have it for my NES and play it every now and then. Due to the very fact that you have unlimited continues, the game is totally easy, but I like it.

Thanks for the help and sorry Matt for taking the focus away from the cereal update. I like cereal, you know, cause its like crunchy sometimes.

Just remember that Pepto Bismol will also change the color of something in the bowl. Remain calm and do not be alarmed.

Totally stupid suggestion from a totally stupid newbie you don’t really know anything about; I can’t remember if it had any overhead shots, but Bionic Commando is what’s screaming in my head. I dunno. I’m gonna dig out my NES now, because I want to play Simon’s Quest for some odd reason.

I’m suprised they didn’t take those Pokemon popsicles shaped like Pickachu and those Star Wars Episode II Fruit Rolls off the market,becuase…they,uh caused bowel discoloration for me. Considering they’re not around anymore in some form,they probably did.

garp: don’t trade in your games… You might regret it later! Just spend the 3 or 4 dollars on another one!

Man, the Alien Fruit Monster went out like a little bitch! He suddenly had a change of heart and decided to make Fruit Loops MORE DELICIOUS, instead of devouring Tucan Sam and the rest of the planet? COMPLETE BULLSHIT.

As long as they brought back an all crunch berries cereal… I think I might be able to handle the blue milk. Now, when Quaker had oatmeal with little treasure chests that turned my OATMEAL BLUE… yea, THAT was too much to handle.

Hey, I have a question about a toy from the 80’s. They were these squirt toys, shaped like Mad Balls, and they came out in the later part of the 80’s. There was a shark I think and some monster-themed ones. Does anyone remember what I’m talking about?

Garp - Hope you find the game. I speant the better part of my life trying to find an old Atari game nobody else remembered. The memory and search drove me mad. Really.

Never had the blue poo although I don’t guess I would want it anyway. I have always had a rule to never eat or drink anything blue. It just ain’t natural. Except for blueberries, but they aren’t exactly blue anyway. We seem to be more into the oatmeal crunch boring bland adult variety cereals…getting old is no fun.

Great stuff, but even better is http://www.showpigs.com/boars.html. Was anyone aware that pig semen is available for purchase online? Matt, you gotta look into this.

Wow, you Americans really have lotsa cool cereal. The most we have is Jungle oats and Weetbix, which are crushed oats and flaked wheat respectively. And cocopops, of course, but that’s just popped rice impregnated (wheeheeheehee) with chocolate milk powder. Mmmmm. Unfair. Of course, most cereal in R.S.A. tastes marginally better than the cardboard packaging, whilst being marginally less nutritious, but I don’t really care. You just have to avoid McDonalds at all costs. It’s kamikaze cardboard.

Here is a thought on the lines of boar semen: throw in some old-school TMNT’s, mix it all up, grind it fine and inject into Mewtwo plushies. Gives you race of super-Chia poky-soldiers!!! That snort, grunt and dig up truffles for you! Whoohoo!

And as far as old games go, search Google for old atari games, there’s always a site with an old grey nostalgic eastern european guy who’s giving ‘em away free… They may not work too well on our super-fast computers, but at least u’ll be able to see exactly what each game entails… so u can find out the name of the one you want. QED (quite easily done).

Garp, don’t trade in your contra. it’s one of the few NES games that consistantly sells for a high (by comparison) amount.

Just describe the Atari game, and some old fart, like yours truly, can probably remember it for you.

Actually, i picked up another color changing Cap’n Crunch cereal over the weekend: "Carnival Cruch." It’s all crunchberries (like "Oops! All Berries"), but it has yellow berries that blush red when milk is applied. Tasted less toxic than Oops! All Berries.

Greg: I own Bible Adventures. It’s one of the worst games I’ve ever played, but definately worth it for a laugh.

The funniest part: one level involves you carrying Baby Moses over your head. During this stage, you can throw Baby Moses into the water and leave him. When you finish the level, it says "Good Job! But you forgot Baby Moses!" Silly. I’m glad it seems that manufactures learned quickly that video games and religion just don’t mix well….

Greg: I too owned Bible Adventures. My favorite was being David, and using my sling shot to rescue all kinds of sheep from wolves and lions and stuff.

Also–back to the article– I was always disappointed because, though I can still find Count Chocula, I haven’t seen Boo-Berry or Franken-Berry in FOREVER! Are they still being sold?

Because Halloween is approaching, you should be able to find Boo-Berry and Franken-Berry at your local Target or K-mart. Although they usually only sell them seasonally.

I think that the long term effects of eating color changing foods couldn’t be good. Why don’t they just make the cereal ordinary colors but make the mystery what color comes out of you? That would make for a sweet SNL commercial ala Shredders. What do you think Matt? How bout a good name for this breakfast cereal? How about Mysentery? Get it? Like Dysentery? Sorry…

Or maybe MST3K cereal? With crunchy sweetened corn SOL shapes, marshmallow Crows, Servos, Cambots, and Gypsys. Compliment it with a Deep 13 cereal. With neon green Forresters, dark blue TVs Franks, and Froot-Loop type Torg-Os. And package them with DVDs of a couple of the shorts. The Home-Ec one and Twice Upon a Honeymoon would be my suggestion.

Boo Bery, now there’s an awesome cereal. I once ordered a crate of it direct from General Mills because it was never in stores in my area (not even during Halloween). Needless to say, I got so sick of it after the 4th or 5th box that I haven’t had it since.

Of course, after I moved two years ago to Pittsburgh I’ve noticed it in every grocery store in the city. Maybe I’ll buy ONE box for Halloween….

"where everyone’s favorite seafaring breakfast pusher teams up with those weird looking kids from Rocket Power to splash lots of water around and crash boats."

I would buy this cereal, but those weird looking kids with their heads the size of their bodies sours me on the idea.

Hey the Walmart here in Omaha has boo berry and franken berry. I’m a count chocula guy myself.

Its not fair. I havent seen Boo Berry since I was little. New York never has anything cool. We don’t even have caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper!

Sorry to mislead you helpful people. I found my mystery game last year. I was only comparing myself to Garp’s situation. Seriously, being the only person to remember/see/have heard of something can really drive a person crazy.

The game by the way, is Solaris. I played it as a kid along with Pitfall whenever I went with my sister to her friend’s house. All I could remember was the view and the little people you had to rescue.

For years… almost a freakin’ decade, I had to tell people that it was NOT Defender. I was right

What about the one monster cereal that lasted one year called Fruit Brute? He was a werewolf and he was a douchebag. find him at http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-guide.html amongst a whole SLEW of cereal characters and their history.
Oh by the way garp, the game you may be talking about is Heavy Barrel. It is an overhead perspective shooter where you can upgrade you weapon a whole shitload. Also another "commando" style game that’s cool is Gunsmoke which is made by the same company, Capcom. The difference is it is set in the old west and you are a cowboy and a slew of weapons to purchase on the way.

Speaking of bionic commando i’m suprised that game wasn’t pulled off the shelves. Not only is the word damn used in the game but there is a frame-by-frame depiction of the main bad guy’s head exploding towards the end of the game!!! The main enemy’s name is Master-D but he is actually is Aldoph Hitler because in the Japanese version of the game you are hunting down hitler with lotsa swastikas plastered everywhere in each level. Obviously this was changed for the American version. If you want more info go here http://www.elitecoder.com/bionic/ its a nice little fan site that has all the pertinent information.

My brother told me that one time he ate so much red licorice that shitted red. I know what you’re thinking. No, it wasn’t blood. The shit was actually red.

Greg-I actually have one of those unlicensed "Christian" games. It’s King of Kings, and it’s hilarious. But the one that i really want, which is just as fun as it is funny, is Spiritual Warfare. The game has somewhat of a Zelda-like feel to it, only instead of smiting your foes with a sword, you’re converting them and killing any demons coming out of them using the Fruits of the Spirit.

The back story of the blue Cap’t Crunch is pretty lame. I’d rather think the "Oops! All Berries!" slave labor kids ran out of crunch berries, and decided to sell off the left over crunch pieces by soaking them in the radioactive solution the Cap’t keeps in his celler to fight off the Soggies, and marketing it off as their new creation "Oops! All Chemicals!"

That milk reminds me of the time we painted toast in home ec back in fifth grade with food coloring-tinted milk. Yummy yum?

Squirt toys from the later part of the 80’s, shaped like Madballs, anyone remember? I really want to find out what these toys were called.

I didn’t eat Cap’n Crunch or other cartoon/sugar cereals till I was in high school. And once I tried them, I went right back to Raisin Bran and Cheerios. They’re just too sweet for the morning, but they do make good snacks. As for the "poop turning blue," my boyfriend and I once drank way too much blue lemonade at a Star Trek convention. [The nice hotel had it out in the lobby for free, it was a very hot summer day...] Next morning…well…not blue poop, but green. Very alarming.

Also, has anybody tried the new Peanut Butter Toast Crunch cereal? That cereal is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!

Is that what happened to Smurfberry Crunch? That was the best tasting cereal ever!

A couple years ago, I took my girlfriend to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and we got a slice of some alcoholic raspberry bundt cake for dessert. And the moment I bit into it, I go "Holy Shit…This is what Smurfberry Crunch tasted like!!"

Someone once told me that Fruit Brute is hidden in all (not sure if Kill Bill is included, now) Quentin Tarantino movies. I don’t know if this is true, but I have seen the box in Pulp Fiction.

I worked hard on finding just the right super-super-villian, and let’s face it, My little ponies must be evil. They’re just too goody-goody to not be secretly evil… like them happy cults in utah, probably.

So, there is a Fake chia plot, although no one has told me what they think, except kingklash. Kinglash liked it. Thanks kinglash. It’s a parody, which means it’s supposed to be halfway between tribute and ripoff, but in a very nice way. We should all take time out to work on our photo essays. Anyone got old 80’s action figures to post to me? I’ll post em back when I’m finished… It’s not like I actually wanna keep em - no cupboard space, unlike Matt, who keeps all his clothes on the bed cos cupboard is full of toys. The man has style, people… All I keep in my cupboards are piles of old books.

Yep, in alternate universe where Third Rock from the Sun never got cancelled, I’m a Librarian and I rule the world. Promise.

You know, a long time ago I remember reading about a bottled drink, the sole selling point of which was that it turned your shit different colors. It was apparently distributed by a small company and it didn’t last long, but I remember thinking kids (at least little boys) would love that kind of thing. Oh well…

Hey, does anyone remember Orbits (or was it "Orbitz")? It was this weird, fruit-flavored drink that had all these gummi orbs suspended in it. I really liked it but I’m in the minority, I think. Does anyone still sell that drink?

the g/f and i picke dup a few of the learning tree games at the philly classic gaming con this past year. we got king of kings, exodus, and bible adventures. exodus isn’t all that horrible, but i have to laugh at the way all of the themes are presented. roms are available online for all of their games (there’s something like 8 in all) but a few of them are rehashes of their earlier titles. They made some for the genesis, but i haven’t been able to find them. anybody here have them at one point, or still?

Oh, yeah, Orbitz, or as Little Brother and I called them, Floaty-Colas. The only drink that comes with its own backwash. They were good.

Man, I haven’t seen (or tasted) those in, let’s see, 8 years? I only liked the red ones though. The rest tasted like slime/imitation slime.

The drink that was marketed as turning your crap blue was probably Blue Brainwash from Skeleteens (the company that made it also made Motley Brue, a special soft drink prepared for Motley Crue’s revival, which was also claimed to make you crap blue). I tried some of the latter and the result was green rather than blue. For some reason, there was a big craze for such drinks around 1997 (Baskin Robbins had milkshakes called Radical Blasts that were bright green, blue, or red and whose main appeal to kids was that they’d make them shit the color of the drink the next day).

It’s pretty much an open secret that a lot of soft drinks, sports drinks, cereals, and candies are colored the way they are in order to change the color of kids’ shit. It just isn’t as hyped as it used to be; the kids have figured it out by themselves (come on, why else would a boy want to drink "watermelon" flavored Gatorade that’s green, or "grape" flavored Gatorade that’s dark blue?),

For that matter, why do you think drinks made with Blue Curacao are so popular with (near) adults?

Back when I was a kid, we had to put green food coloring in our pop to get the same effect. Today’s kids are spoiled.

Yeah but surely Cocopops did the "turn the milk a different colour"…I’m not impressed! After all these years, you think they’d come up with something cool like the cereal only turning a different colour or perhaps the cereal expands when the milk touches it…that would be better!

Eric - It’s because Blue Curacao tastes like orange kool-aid. That’s just awesome.

ORBITZ!!! i wanna hav one but i have NOT seen them in so many years… it sucks… i loved those things, i remember dairy queen had them for a while but thats all:(

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