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08/30/2004: The Vending Machine Prize Spectacular - 2004!

Wow, this one took way too long to finish.  A few years back I did a tribute to vending machine toys, but recent trips to where the beastly machines are located told me that there was enough shite left to examine, so here tis: The 2004 Vending Machine Prize Spectacular!  Everything from Dr. Mad’s Blobs to the mysterious eggs of “The Chicken Machine,” it’s a two-page mess of quarter trinkets and button quails.  Also, this is a work-from-home week due to the Republican National Convention ruining city transit.  That more or less means it’s a vacation week, so expect more updates soon.  Not super soon, but soon.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!


Discussion Thread: 93 comments

Ah, vending machines. So many good memories.

Ghosted by Evin @ 08/30/2004 4:21 PM EDT

That quail thing is definitely one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.

Ghosted by Mike @ 08/30/2004 4:44 PM EDT

HA!  Now you’ll know what us Boston folk had to deal with during the DNC!  lol…anyway, I’m glad there may be more updates this week, because believe me, I could sure use some…

Ghosted by Sara @ 08/30/2004 4:47 PM EDT

LOL, I still have fun with those things. I still want to win the mini phone from one of them (and they’re in there, I can see ‘em).

Definitely make an offer to the owner of The Chicken Machine. If you’re going to get a vending machine, it might as well be goofy.

I’m looking forward to updates, too. Perhaps another article with commercial downloads is coming soon?

Ghosted by Larry @ 08/30/2004 4:55 PM EDT

Recently,A new Super Wal-Mart opened in my town,and in their vending machines,they had stuff like Simpsons mini-bobbleheads,Kim Possible mini-mugs,and Spider-Man keychains,all for a like a dollar in quaters. I went for the Spider-Man keychains,getting a few.

When I was younger,I remember going for the NFL and baseball helmets,even though I wasn’t that big of a sports freak,and stuff like slime and whatnot.

Ghosted by Overlord @ 08/30/2004 5:33 PM EDT

Truly one of the best articles in recent memory.  I can’t believe the "Feed us a Live Insect".  That is freakin awesome. 

I can’t figure out this word scrambler puzzle though.  Too many vowels.

Ghosted by jhnnywalkr @ 08/30/2004 5:35 PM EDT

Hey Matt,
Here’s a chicken machine on ebay, not the exact same one that you had in your article but it’s pretty close.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISA...#038;rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

Ghosted by celery @ 08/30/2004 5:41 PM EDT

To this day, I have spent about 20 bucks in my life on vending machines. I have gotten two watches. The odds of that have to be staggering. Of course, neither watch worked for about seven or eight years.

Ghosted by El Bang @ 08/30/2004 5:42 PM EDT

52 blocks full of angry Democrats. You’re wise to stay inside….

Click my name for this week’s feature, coverage of the Athens games…Ronald McDonald and all.

Ghosted by Mars @ 08/30/2004 5:45 PM EDT

This is my earliest entry in the blog yet.  What, like 25th or something?  I suck.

I have all 28 helmets from 9th grade, back when there were only 28 teams.  I also have about 200 freaking Tampa Bay helmets, back when they were orange.  Pieces of crap.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 08/30/2004 5:49 PM EDT

And I was hearing about all the bad things that the RNC brought to New York, but if it means that there’ll be more postings, then I’m for having it there in 2008!

By the way, which president do you think had the most sexual sounding name?

Johnson
Bush
Bush jr.
Harding
Clinton
Hoover

Oh well, the world may never know.

Ghosted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/30/2004 5:58 PM EDT

Once, at a now-defunct grocery, they had a machine that spat out tiny, tiny transforming robots.  I got, among others, a train, and a padlock.  Yes, a fake plastic padlock that turned into a robot!  If I can find him, I might feed him to Unicron.  The little instructional brochures that were written in Japanese were cool to look at too.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/30/2004 6:15 PM EDT

I’m 14th.
Oh well, for someone who just got into this commenting thing, I’d say it’s a record.

I love those spy things, the bare thought of hearing conversation 100 feet away in hopes of catching someone plotting a scheme to kill a teacher, then I tell on them and get a medal or something.(I’m in Canada, even vending machines don’t use the metric system)

Ghosted by RPharazon @ 08/30/2004 6:27 PM EDT

I bow to your excellent use of the English Language, Matt.  Your lexicon far exceeds my own.

Ghosted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/30/2004 6:35 PM EDT

Matt-

One of your best.  I thank you.

Ghosted by Dane E. Coffey @ 08/30/2004 6:41 PM EDT

I haven’t even read the article, but this has made my day a lot better after grueling Marching Band practice and pulling a muscle in my shoulder.  Thanks, Matt.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 08/30/2004 6:44 PM EDT

The local pizza parlor where I live has a "chicken machine" with Fred Flintstone in the place of a chicken. Apparently, when Fred says "Yabba-dabba-doo"… he also lays an egg for you.

Ghosted by Meg @ 08/30/2004 7:08 PM EDT

Sadly, Juicy Fruit (or whatever you mentioned) is now 30 cents. Seriously.

Also, I just read a recipe for quails that involved eating them whole, holding them by the beak. Ew.

And one of those chickens in a family restaurant for some reason sent me and my step-sister into conniptions of laughter and I fell on the floor in the lobby cackling. We were on vacation so no one knew us.
I don’t remember what was so funny about it…

Ghosted by Piscez @ 08/30/2004 7:55 PM EDT

Matt–You still can’t comment on Dora The Explorer, because of your employers?  I take it you’re still at Nick, good job staying employed, I don’t see how Nice wouldn’t film one of your stories for a commercial break…
By the way, I didn’t waste my time on vending machines, I used my grocery trips to get Garbage Pail Kids…

Ghosted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 08/30/2004 7:58 PM EDT

Am I the only person horrified by the whole quail situation??  Maybe I’ve just never seen a bird in a tank before…

Ghosted by Louis Tulley @ 08/30/2004 9:15 PM EDT

Another nice article Matt. However, according to CBS news,  a kid (I think he was three or two) died for accidently swallowing the cheap jewel that came from vending machine, and it turn out it has a trace amount of lead.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:34 PM EDT

(Okay that was little depressing)

How come Matt you didn’t get the Shreik 2 stickers from the machine? I got two stickers (Shreik & Fiona and Puss n’ Boot) for the price of one (one got stuck to other) at my local white castle.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:40 PM EDT

The stickers are happily now decorating my old pencil box :)

Another related story to sticker at other local place around Cincinnati: at the same white castle, I decide to get a Simpson sticker. Hoping to get Abu, instead I got Willy. But sticker was kind of hilarious with Willy’s shirt rip open and saying "Grease Me Up Woman!" (However, unlike the Shreik 2 stickers it not on any old pencil boxes. Sorry guys :) )

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:50 PM EDT

Great article. 

A local chicken place here in Waco (Bush’s Chicken–not even remotedly named for the president, though) has a working chicken machine in their restaurant.  My fraternity bros. have had great fun repeatedly stuffing it with quarters. 

Of course, it helps that the machine is really loud and annoying, and it is placed right next to the "place your order" counter.  :)

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 08/30/2004 9:54 PM EDT

Great read. My favorite vending machine prize would probably be a sticker of Baraka from Mortal Kombat.

Ghosted by God Animagnus @ 08/30/2004 10:05 PM EDT

I always thought the slimes smelled like children’s toothpaste.

Ghosted by marril159 @ 08/30/2004 10:51 PM EDT

Well, seeing as only get one dollar in allowance a week, I never got into those. Also,since Chuckee Cheeze is all but dead to you Matt, If you ever want a good arcade, go to Golf and Stuff (Yes, the same kind of Golf ‘n Stuff like there was in the Karatae Kid). It has the best arcade games, Including some of the classics like Millipede.  If any exist in your town Matt then go to em!

Ghosted by TOM @ 08/30/2004 11:04 PM EDT

Matt if you want a Chicken Machine there is one for sale on ebay, just type ipn chicken machine. It’s only at a hundred bucks so it’ll look good in your living room. I remeber the chicken machine back when i was kid, my grandma used to take us to eat at the kmart cafeteria and let us pput a quarter into the chicken machine there as it ofered golden eggs. Plastic golden eggs. never got one.

Ghosted by garp @ 08/30/2004 11:18 PM EDT

There are alot more of those chicken machines…we have about 2-3 in my city here in canada, and I remember back 10 years ago when I was young the local drugstore had one that had the coolest prizes ;o

Ghosted by gamersource @ 08/31/2004 1:05 AM EDT

Matt -

  You MUST do a movie review of TROLLS 2! DO IT! I command you!

Ghosted by Psuedo Bohemian @ 08/31/2004 1:21 AM EDT

Holy CRAP, the chicken!!!!! I do remember having one of those chickens here in town, if I remember right it was in a ice cream parlor, right next to a donkey kong machine, which was my first video game experience. I thank you Matt for that flood of memories.

Ghosted by The Dude @ 08/31/2004 1:23 AM EDT

Great article! I always thought the little plastic guys with the working parachutes were gold. I loved getting those things.

Ghosted by VissionNine @ 08/31/2004 1:32 AM EDT

I have memories of the chicken machine.

Those vending machines are too expensive these days. Worthless piece of shit for 50¢ when I can get a ton of worthless shit for $2.95? no way.

I wanna see that bobblehead committing suicide! That would attract a ton of people!!

Too bad Matt doesn’t do requests…:(

Another thing it usually spelled:
/Got nothing

I don’t know why they put that little slash before it.

Ghosted by dfghfdgh @ 08/31/2004 2:00 AM EDT

I remember a Flintstones version of the chicken machine, but it had Dino.  Unfortunately, I don’t remember which store it was in, because now I want an egg from Dino.

Ghosted by marioshoku @ 08/31/2004 2:14 AM EDT

Im 16…and even though im young I remember going to my local sparkle market with my aunt when I was younger, and I too would have to put up with the shopping, then at the end, right before leaving the store there was a Chicken Machine…the one that laid the plastic eggs..I would always have to get one..it was like a reward at the end of a brutal day. And for the rest of that day, that little 1 cent toy kept me occupied untill it got thrown away the next day..or sucked up in the vacuum..Good article..

Ghosted by Ken @ 08/31/2004 2:31 AM EDT

PS- my plastic alien was blue and had a jet pack. yay.

Ghosted by blergh @ 08/31/2004 3:18 AM EDT

One of my friends, whose family owned some little tiny, mom-and-pop bizzness, a cruddy candy shop or something, took me on a little errand one afternoon.  He had been given the member card and sent to go pick up inventory from one of those honest-to-god-licensed-crap-dealers-only-allowed-to-enter wholesalers (where carnivals and chicken egg-stuffers buy from), 

  Needless to say, I walked out with maybe five pounds each of smarties and that rock-hard but kinda yummy Dubble Bubble gum.  And a 100pc. bag of glow-in-the-dark crawlies.  The exact same ones I had a passion for as a tot and subjected myself to the random 25cent roullette.  Total; maybe three dollars, but it just ain’t the same, dammit.

Ghosted by Krappy Kat @ 08/31/2004 7:58 AM EDT

We too have a chicken egg machine in our area here in PA…  Although I am sometimes sorely tempted - I have not yet succumbed to its chickeny whiles.

Also Matt, I have an aviary - and a Button Quail named Pretzel.  She’s slightly (okay maybe more than slightly) neurotic and a pretty cool pet to boot.  However, I feel that I may be cheating myself by not having some type of coin-fed insect dispenser involved in my setup.  We just throw them in as she paces back and forth like some type of 4 inch tall rabid feathered junkyard dog.  (The crickets are treats - not the staple of her diet, that’s human flesh.)

Ghosted by ripley26 @ 08/31/2004 9:17 AM EDT

I remember putting what had to be at least 100 dollars into a vending machine to get this ninja star with suction cups instead of blades, with an indian head on the star.  I NEVER got the damn thing, and it never occoured to me to just go buy one somewhere with all the money I spent.  This wasn’t just a thing stuck on the card-you could actually see it in the bubbles inside the machine.

I got really close, but then they refilled the machine and PUT THE FUCKING INDIAN NINJA STAR BACK AT THE TOP!

You’d get really stupid stuff-like spider rings and fake jewelry for girls and friendship bracelets, but occasionally you’d get a bootleg MUSCLE figure or something cool like that.

Still, no ninja indian suction cup star.

Ghosted by CaseyJones @ 08/31/2004 10:03 AM EDT

have i told you lately that you’re me hero? :)

personally - i’m always a sucker for those fake tatoo machines. i was at a skanky gas station during a trip to Oregon and in the bathroom was a machine with 3 different flavors of condoms — and fake tatoos! i was hopeing to get something badass like barb wire or dragons, instead i got this lame-ass flower thing. oh well. i still wore it and everyone thought it was real.

Ghosted by Melinda @ 08/31/2004 10:20 AM EDT

Matt, I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since you wrote the first vendings machine article.  I also completely forgot about the the Chicken Machine!  I haven’t seen one of those machines here in Northern VA in about 12 years. Thanks for the memories Matt!

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 08/31/2004 10:25 AM EDT

Good Article. Favorite Vending machine goods were the NFL Helmets. I used to make up my own type of game with them that decided my own "Mini Super Bowl." It was always decided by a coin flip. All the duplicates I used to make my own expansion teams. It kept me busy forever. That was until Madden came out.

As for the chicken machine I remmber both the Flintstone and the Original Chicken one. I also recall one with Mighty Mouse. Holly Shit the thing was gold. It had the mighty Mouse theme as the music and Mighty mouse spun around. I also remember smashing one to bits for ripping me off. I didn’t get my damn egg. So it was all worth it.

Ghosted by Rowan Steele @ 08/31/2004 10:25 AM EDT

Someone in Chicago needs to help Matt get this chicken machine. They could pick it up for him and store it for a while, and then Matt could take a road trip to Chigaco to get it! That would make for a great article… lots of vending machines and crappy corner stores along the way…

Ghosted by XTacy @ 08/31/2004 12:04 PM EDT

oh wow! we have a chicken machine at the local S&R here in kingston.. it used to be in the main entranceway but i noticed they moved it up to the childrens wing… i gess the teens were messing with it or somthing….. i sweare we used to use that vending machine like 24/7

Ghosted by Orko @ 08/31/2004 12:08 PM EDT

I love the cricket vending machine! And I’ve never seen the chicken one before, but we have a lot of light-up gumball machines in movie places like blockbuster. Probably not as cool as a singing and dancing old chicken though. *sigh*

Ghosted by Sarah @ 08/31/2004 12:08 PM EDT

There is a fried chicken chain called Golden Chick; many of these have chicken machines, so don’t worry about them dying out any time soon

Ghosted by Shay @ 08/31/2004 12:13 PM EDT

Man, when you’re on, you’re really on.  LOL @ the General Tso’s joke.

Ghosted by Alien @ 08/31/2004 12:23 PM EDT

You know, Rowans post reminded me that those Dino Flinstones machines used to be EVERYWHERE when I was younger-a car wash here had one pretty recently, but it’s gone now.

I don’t see why the person making the machine didn’t realize that DINO IS A BOY!  BOYS DONT LAY EGGS!

Ghosted by Casey Jones @ 08/31/2004 12:36 PM EDT

At the run down movie theatre in Joshua tree there’s a chicken machine too. Maybe there are a lot more of those machines then you think Matt. My favorite quarter machine toy was sort of like the ninjas but instead it was a monk. Or maybe it was just a bald ninja. It had a purple see through robe and huge eyebrows. We had many adventures together. He still sits on my desk.

Ghosted by Ally @ 08/31/2004 12:47 PM EDT

I don’t understand Matt’s dislike of Homies. How you can resist little Death and scary clown figures is beyond me.

Ghosted by Ubu Rex @ 08/31/2004 12:49 PM EDT

I remember chicken machines. A grocery store in a nearby town had one a couple years ago,but the last time I was there,they didn’t seem to have it.

As for Fred Flintstone/Dino machines,I’ve never seen anything like that,except for a old,beat-up vending machine with Hanna-Barbera characters on it when I was at some cruddy pawn shop I was at with my brother.

Ghosted by Overlord @ 08/31/2004 1:00 PM EDT

Lately in lobby of my local AMC, the vending machine there were sell small Disney’s figures (eg. Stitch, Mickey, Ariel, Belle, etc) and Ulimate Spiderman bobblehead (spelling). However, unlike the cheap figures that you got, these cost a dollar (in quarters of course). I not to sure who made it, but I beleive it was Tomy.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/31/2004 1:24 PM EDT

I remember spending almost $10 on M.U.S.C.L.E.S when I found them in a gumball machine once.. I got in trouble when I got home cuz I was supposed to buy something else.. Still can’t remember whan it was.(The reason I was there in the first place)
My mom threw them out on me but I went and got them back later. :D

Turns out they were cheap knock-offs anyway, but who cares about this stuff when you’re a kid?

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 08/31/2004 1:24 PM EDT

Also, I may have once may have saw the Flintstone machnine, that everyone was talking about, at Hanna-Barbera Land in King Island (before it was bought by Paramount). It was either located by the ‘Beastie’ (once called Scooby-Zoom, now supposely a miniature version of the Beast) or Bam-Bam Boulder bumpers.

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/31/2004 1:31 PM EDT

In another related story to Paramount King Island, next year they getting a new coaster base off the recent remake of the Italian Job movie, but the sad news is that taking out the Antique Car to make room for the coaster :(

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 08/31/2004 1:35 PM EDT

Gloria the midget is lucky that there isn’t a coin-operated machine that feeds her crickets.

Ghosted by hamburger man @ 08/31/2004 1:55 PM EDT

I remember the Chicken machine from my childhood. Everytime I visited my grandparents I went to the store and they had the "Chicken Machine". I couldn’t get enough of it. Only this machine had GOLD eggs in it and if you got a gold egg you got something special (I can’t remember what it was). The Chicken Machine will live forever.

Ghosted by Iceman @ 08/31/2004 2:26 PM EDT

"I hereby declare that historians of the distant future will reflect on the downfall of this our current society, universally marking the trend of preteen girls marking themselves up with "Flirt," "Tease" and "B*tch" stickers, buttons, keychains, T-shirts, Henna tattoos and notebook scribblings as the exact point where we could no longer save ourselves from oblivion. How this fad began is beyond me; we went from just "hating mean people" to christening ourselves as tramps and hookers."

I couldn’t agree more! I always wonder why parents let their tween daughters wear that crap. I’m guessing there’s a lot of whining and pouting involved. The biggest offenders are those clothes with the words on the ass- are they trying to get people in trouble?

Ghosted by 4th Down @ 08/31/2004 2:31 PM EDT

Bravo Matt!!  Reminds me of one of my favorites of yours, the Amazing Incredible Bag ‘O’ Crap.  (If I was more technologically savvy, I’d add a link).

Not to bring up SHREK CRAP, but at the (rather crappy) game room at Chelsea Piers, the crane game is FILLED to the brim w/ shrek dolls.  Went drunken bowling last Saturday afternoon and spent $5.00 trying to get a stupid donkey doll.  Damn donkey!!!  I thought I saw a couple of mewtwos in there two, but I think you bought them all, and I was rather intoxicated at the time . . . they could’ve been hello kittys. 

Oh, and as an added bonus, the smoking situation at Chelsea Piers kicks ass b/c you can smoke right outside the alley door, unlike fucking bowlmore where you have to take off your (their) shoes and get in rickety fucking elevator.

But I digress.  Great work, man.

Ghosted by Pedro @ 08/31/2004 2:55 PM EDT

I’d Completely forgotten about the Chicken Machine. I used to love going to Giant Eagle when I was a kid. I dodn’t remember ever being allowed to get an egg from the Chicken, but I used to like staring at it.

Must find a chicken machine here in NC…

Ghosted by Purple Peril @ 08/31/2004 3:02 PM EDT

Matt, I think we should get married.  Seriously.  I totally forgot about the Chicken Mackine, but when I saw the picture, it took me back to the days of the old Newberry’s in Boonton, NJ.  Every time my mom forced me to go there with her she’d let me get a prize from the chicken machine and a box of those crappy prang crayons that color like candles would if you rubbed them on paper.

Ghosted by Kate @ 08/31/2004 3:42 PM EDT

I-mockery.com has a pretty good article about shorts with words on the ass.

Ghosted by CaseyJones @ 08/31/2004 4:33 PM EDT

Sigh. You’d think I’d pay more attention to the vending machines, given that I actually WORK at a grocery store, but I can’t remember the last time I actually got anything out of one.

Superballs were my favorites, but they drove my mother crazy, to the point where she first banished them from the house, then from being brought home all together. The NFL helmets looked nifty on Barbies (but they never gave us the Eagles!) and my sisters loved the goo and the ones that stick to walls (I was never crazy about the slimy stuff, plus they make a mess…).

Ghosted by starwenn @ 08/31/2004 4:47 PM EDT

I must say, this article is living proof that vending machine prizes can lead to all sorts of fates: religious enlightenment; fortune and fame; insanity; glamour; you name it.  Or maybe it all just leads to a quarterless pocket.

Ghosted by Nate @ 08/31/2004 9:47 PM EDT

I was just thinking about a chicken machine from my youth about a week ago!  It was at the local "Towers" department store (now "Zellers"), and was situated in an area that was kinda darker for some reason (in a lobby/sale merchandise area between Towers and the grocery store that was connected to it).  It was even more deluxe though - The main part of it was the same as the one in your article, but there was a booth that you sat in (like one of those photo booths).  While you could see and hear the chicken move around from the outside, the quarter slot was inside the booth, so you had to sit inside (where there were extra speakers) to claim your prize.  The chicken also made a clucking noise before whatever the song was played.  I remember it being a very surreal experience, and it almost felt like I was going to the movies.

Ghosted by KMC @ 08/31/2004 10:08 PM EDT

I can’t beleive you guys, you step in amazingly embarassing things, get an obnoxious chicken speaking to you that’s loud enough to wake up the dead, then you feel no shame in it, even though dozens of people are looking at you like you’re crazy.

Ghosted by RPharazon @ 08/31/2004 10:38 PM EDT

I remember having the chicken machines around hereabout ten years ago, even then they were rare, you have no choice but to buy this machine!

Ghosted by Kirkpatrick @ 09/01/2004 9:06 AM EDT

"Yabba-dabba-doo! Dino thanks you!"
There’s still one of those down at Papa’s Pizza, but their pizza tastes like ass so I won’t be visiting that machine anytime soon…

Ninja figurines are the coolest, I got a box-full of various varieties. One of these days, I’m going to one of those sites that sell vending machine toys in bulk and get 200 ninja for $30.

I remember wasting my money as a kid trying to get the billiard-super-balls from a machine that had three different kinds, only to succeed once. I found a filthy one abandoned at a campsite, and was sorta happy… BUT NOW, there’s a machine at the mall that has nothing but billiard-super-balls!

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 09/01/2004 12:35 PM EDT

Definitely worth all of the effort. One of the best articles in memory. My only wish is that you could have included some video of the Chicken. I remember that one from SHOWBIZ PIZZA in my hometown of Jacksonville, FL. It is now a Chuck E. Cheese. Not sure if they have singing robots. Without the ROCK-A-FIRE EXPLOSION, there is no point. Sigh. I am glad to see that the Chicken maching is still cluck cluck clucking away in NY.

Ghosted by manimal789 @ 09/01/2004 5:47 PM EDT

The true sign of the Chicken Machine’s greatness….there was a whole "Newhart" episode devoted to one. It was one of the early episodes with the character of next door neighbor Kirk Devane, before he got booted off in favor of Peter Scolari a.k.a. ‘The OTHER guy from Bosom Buddies’. If I remember correctly that one gave out plastic frogs in the chicken eggs.

Ghosted by Garrison @ 09/01/2004 8:23 PM EDT

I never really spent a lot of money in those vending machines.  However, somehow I got my hands on a Houston Oiler tiny football helmet.  My Barbie dolls wore it sometimes.

Ghosted by Divaah46 @ 09/02/2004 11:36 AM EDT

Hey, about those Blinky Rings…you mentioned that the top chamber ‘presses down’, but did you mean ’screws down’?  ‘Cause that’s how they work, you twist the top like a jar lid to turn ‘em on…

Ghosted by Jack Hare @ 09/03/2004 4:36 AM EDT

THE CHICKEN MACHINE!

They had one of those by the checkout at Just Love, a big children’s clothing warehouse place in Oceanside on Long Island.  Damn did I love that thing as a youngster.  I don’t recall it having a song, just going BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCKAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ghosted by Bix @ 09/03/2004 4:39 PM EDT

I demand to know where you found tom servos.

Ghosted by bogeyb @ 09/03/2004 7:41 PM EDT

Funny you should mention those animatronic Chuck E. Cheese things. When I was little, we had this Chuck E. Cheese record with some character on the front playing the drums. One look at that thing would send me out of the room crying and give me nightmares for years to come.

Ghosted by FLyGrL @ 09/03/2004 10:05 PM EDT

Crap.  Posted about this article in the previous post.  Crap.

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 09/04/2004 12:11 PM EDT

Correction: It was Showbiz, not Chuck E. Cheese.

Ghosted by FLyGrL @ 09/04/2004 12:42 PM EDT

I’ve seen that same model of Chicken Machine at the doors of a local drugstore. In fact, it might still be there. I’ll check by. :)

Ghosted by z-reserve @ 09/04/2004 4:39 PM EDT

If you ever get a Chicken Machine, or even if you don’t, here’s where to go to fill it:

http://www.stickermachine.net

No word on whether eggs are included or not.

Ghosted by John @ 09/05/2004 10:23 AM EDT

Wow.  I suddenly feel so validated, so "no longer alone."

I LOVE vending machine toys!! Though, it is hard to find good ones.  I originally came to post to clue you in on the blinky ring thing, but I see someone already has. They are a little tricky, but everything you dreamed they’d be once they’re on.

I got started on buying these (as an adult) with the little birds that would balance by their beak on a cone, so they looked like they were flying.  But what hooked me were these little foam cube puzzles that were AWESOME!! The first time I tried to get one together the thing kicked my ass!! (okay, I may have been somewhat chemically impaired at the time, but, still!!) I bought a bunch of them, and used them as sort of an IQ test with my friends: seeing how long it took different people to put them together. In fact, since I would hand them to someone in pieces, saying, "It makes a cube," the first test was whether they understood what a "cube" was. (I know. I know.  I really need a better class of friends. But I don’t hang out with the one or two who failed that part anymore…)

Anyway, great review!  Cool site!  First time I’ve been here, but I think I’ll be back!

~From a feline state of mind, DonnaCat

PS: I have a friend who worked for a while filling the machines and collecting the quarters.  I can tell you for certain that, at least with his company, there is only ONE ring watch in each machine-full of assorted baubles.

Ghosted by DonnaCat @ 09/05/2004 6:43 PM EDT

Heck’s, a department store that was in my town when I was a kid(not the mall store) had a chicken machine. The store went under years ago, and eventually became a Big Lots. Sure enough, the chicken machine is still there in all its glory.

Ghosted by Jason @ 09/06/2004 12:54 PM EDT

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1112299

Ghosted by Some Guy @ 09/07/2004 3:13 PM EDT

You, Sir, are insane.  And I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.

Ghosted by A Gentleman @ 09/08/2004 2:22 AM EDT

Holy fucking shit that was funny.
Gives me a bunch of good ideas. Keep it up.

Ghosted by Rankenphile @ 09/08/2004 2:47 AM EDT

Dude… you have no life, but you’re hilarious..

Ghosted by Vickie @ 09/20/2004 6:04 PM EDT

Dude… you have no life, but you’re hilarious..

Ghosted by Vickie @ 09/20/2004 6:04 PM EDT

Dude… you have no life, but you’re hilarious..

Ghosted by Vickie @ 09/20/2004 6:04 PM EDT

there a 2 chicken machines in my area one is the regular chicken one and the other is the converted Flintstone dinosaur egg hatching one.

Ghosted by pikachulover @ 09/21/2004 1:33 AM EDT

Those ninjas are the best thing ever.  Everyone in my group of friends has one in their car, usually hiding in some ingenious fashion.  We’ve done this since around 99 or so, and it’s one of my favorite quirks of our group.

Ghosted by Interociter @ 09/28/2004 4:56 PM EDT

Okay, after reading this, I was in Wal-mart the other day, and I saw some of those blinky rings. So, I bought one, of course. Just to see. And mine worked! I was so happy! All I had to do was turn the little top part clockwise until it started blinking red and yellow. I don’t know if they are the same kind as yours, but just so everyone knows, the blinky rings in my North Carolina Wal-mart are blinking like crazy. So yeah.

Ghosted by Mallard @ 10/01/2004 11:50 AM EDT

You have no idea what your exposé on the Chicken Machine meant to me. They populated my area in my childhood years and while I had long forgotten them, your review made me remember them like it was yesterday. If I were you, I would definitely get one. I hope I don’t come across one with excess cash in my pocket, because it WILL get spent.

Ghosted by Orson @ 10/08/2004 4:03 PM EDT

I’ve still got a chicken machine at my local drug store, and yes they also have other less run of the mill toy machines so if you ever find yourself in Phoenixville Pennsylvania (which is a snowball’s chance in hell and if you do arrive there you’ll be wishing you were a snowball in hell just to end the misery) go to Gateway pharmacies to see this wonder of the world. And yes I know I use run on sentances. This Chicken Machine doesn’t look to great on the outside but the music plays and the chicken is well painted, moving easly in an endless circle as it drops its load of delight (which could be anything from an army man to one of those fake gold ring watchs) out for the world to enjoy for the low, low price of 25 cents.

Ghosted by Zanduar @ 10/10/2004 12:16 PM EDT

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