X-Entertainment | The Vending Machine Prize Spectacular

The Vending Machine Prize Spectacular – 2004!

Wow, this one took way too long to finish. A few years back I did a tribute to vending machine toys, but recent trips to where the beastly machines are located told me that there was enough shite left to examine, so here tis: The 2004 Vending Machine Prize Spectacular! Everything from Dr. Mad's Blobs to the mysterious eggs of "The Chicken Machine," it's a two-page mess of quarter trinkets and button quails. Also, this is a work-from-home week due to the Republican National Convention ruining city transit. That more or less means it's a vacation week, so expect more updates soon. Not super soon, but soon.

Posted by Matt on 08/30/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 93 comments

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Ah, vending machines. So many good memories.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 08/30/2004 4:21 PM

That quail thing is definitely one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 08/30/2004 4:44 PM

HA! Now you’ll know what us Boston folk had to deal with during the DNC! lol…anyway, I’m glad there may be more updates this week, because believe me, I could sure use some…

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 08/30/2004 4:47 PM

LOL, I still have fun with those things. I still want to win the mini phone from one of them (and they’re in there, I can see ‘em).

Definitely make an offer to the owner of The Chicken Machine. If you’re going to get a vending machine, it might as well be goofy.

I’m looking forward to updates, too. Perhaps another article with commercial downloads is coming soon?

Chestnuts roasted by Larry @ 08/30/2004 4:55 PM

Recently,A new Super Wal-Mart opened in my town,and in their vending machines,they had stuff like Simpsons mini-bobbleheads,Kim Possible mini-mugs,and Spider-Man keychains,all for a like a dollar in quaters. I went for the Spider-Man keychains,getting a few.

When I was younger,I remember going for the NFL and baseball helmets,even though I wasn’t that big of a sports freak,and stuff like slime and whatnot.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 08/30/2004 5:33 PM

Truly one of the best articles in recent memory. I can’t believe the "Feed us a Live Insect". That is freakin awesome.

I can’t figure out this word scrambler puzzle though. Too many vowels.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 08/30/2004 5:35 PM

Hey Matt,
Here’s a chicken machine on ebay, not the exact same one that you had in your article but it’s pretty close.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=20270&item=6115584416&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

Chestnuts roasted by celery @ 08/30/2004 5:41 PM

To this day, I have spent about 20 bucks in my life on vending machines. I have gotten two watches. The odds of that have to be staggering. Of course, neither watch worked for about seven or eight years.

Chestnuts roasted by El Bang @ 08/30/2004 5:42 PM

52 blocks full of angry Democrats. You’re wise to stay inside….

Click my name for this week’s feature, coverage of the Athens games…Ronald McDonald and all.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/30/2004 5:45 PM

This is my earliest entry in the blog yet. What, like 25th or something? I suck.

I have all 28 helmets from 9th grade, back when there were only 28 teams. I also have about 200 freaking Tampa Bay helmets, back when they were orange. Pieces of crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 08/30/2004 5:49 PM

And I was hearing about all the bad things that the RNC brought to New York, but if it means that there’ll be more postings, then I’m for having it there in 2008!

By the way, which president do you think had the most sexual sounding name?

Johnson
Bush
Bush jr.
Harding
Clinton
Hoover

Oh well, the world may never know.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/30/2004 5:58 PM

Once, at a now-defunct grocery, they had a machine that spat out tiny, tiny transforming robots. I got, among others, a train, and a padlock. Yes, a fake plastic padlock that turned into a robot! If I can find him, I might feed him to Unicron. The little instructional brochures that were written in Japanese were cool to look at too.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/30/2004 6:15 PM

I’m 14th.
Oh well, for someone who just got into this commenting thing, I’d say it’s a record.

I love those spy things, the bare thought of hearing conversation 100 feet away in hopes of catching someone plotting a scheme to kill a teacher, then I tell on them and get a medal or something.(I’m in Canada, even vending machines don’t use the metric system)

Chestnuts roasted by RPharazon @ 08/30/2004 6:27 PM

I bow to your excellent use of the English Language, Matt. Your lexicon far exceeds my own.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/30/2004 6:35 PM

Matt-

One of your best. I thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Dane E. Coffey @ 08/30/2004 6:41 PM

I haven’t even read the article, but this has made my day a lot better after grueling Marching Band practice and pulling a muscle in my shoulder. Thanks, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/30/2004 6:44 PM

The local pizza parlor where I live has a "chicken machine" with Fred Flintstone in the place of a chicken. Apparently, when Fred says "Yabba-dabba-doo"… he also lays an egg for you.

Chestnuts roasted by Meg @ 08/30/2004 7:08 PM

Sadly, Juicy Fruit (or whatever you mentioned) is now 30 cents. Seriously.

Also, I just read a recipe for quails that involved eating them whole, holding them by the beak. Ew.

And one of those chickens in a family restaurant for some reason sent me and my step-sister into conniptions of laughter and I fell on the floor in the lobby cackling. We were on vacation so no one knew us.
I don’t remember what was so funny about it…

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 08/30/2004 7:55 PM

Matt–You still can’t comment on Dora The Explorer, because of your employers? I take it you’re still at Nick, good job staying employed, I don’t see how Nice wouldn’t film one of your stories for a commercial break…
By the way, I didn’t waste my time on vending machines, I used my grocery trips to get Garbage Pail Kids…

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 08/30/2004 7:58 PM

Am I the only person horrified by the whole quail situation?? Maybe I’ve just never seen a bird in a tank before…

Chestnuts roasted by Louis Tulley @ 08/30/2004 9:15 PM

Another nice article Matt. However, according to CBS news, a kid (I think he was three or two) died for accidently swallowing the cheap jewel that came from vending machine, and it turn out it has a trace amount of lead.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:34 PM

(Okay that was little depressing)

How come Matt you didn’t get the Shreik 2 stickers from the machine? I got two stickers (Shreik & Fiona and Puss n’ Boot) for the price of one (one got stuck to other) at my local white castle.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:40 PM

The stickers are happily now decorating my old pencil box

Another related story to sticker at other local place around Cincinnati: at the same white castle, I decide to get a Simpson sticker. Hoping to get Abu, instead I got Willy. But sticker was kind of hilarious with Willy’s shirt rip open and saying "Grease Me Up Woman!" (However, unlike the Shreik 2 stickers it not on any old pencil boxes. Sorry guys )

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 08/30/2004 9:50 PM

Great article.

A local chicken place here in Waco (Bush’s Chicken–not even remotedly named for the president, though) has a working chicken machine in their restaurant. My fraternity bros. have had great fun repeatedly stuffing it with quarters.

Of course, it helps that the machine is really loud and annoying, and it is placed right next to the "place your order" counter.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/30/2004 9:54 PM

Great read. My favorite vending machine prize would probably be a sticker of Baraka from Mortal Kombat.

Chestnuts roasted by God Animagnus @ 08/30/2004 10:05 PM

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