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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

84 Mewtwos, 200 Gray Gorillas.

When faced with a clearance sale -- a major clearance sale -- I often encounter trouble. Instead of just buying a single liquidated item, I tend to buy as many as possible regardless of need or even desire to own them. The sickness first surfaced eons ago (eons meaning several years of course) at Toys 'R' Us, where I found Wheeled Warriors accessory packs marked down to a literal eight cents each. (these were the blisterpacks containing extra tires, alien brains and guns for Saw Boss and pals) When I realized that a measly buck could a dozen toys, some little bell went off in my head and has consistently forced me to repeat the process whenever the opportunity presented itself. With that...

Some of you might have noticed TRU's major clearance sales going on -- not sure if this plays into the alleged "no more toys" rule, but whatever the case, shit's cheap. They've got this deal where anything with an already marked-down green price tag is 50% off, so you're really clashing oars with all the housewives doing their early Christmas shopping. If you can survive that, treasures await -- check out that bag of Pokemon Mewtwo plushies. Quarter a pop. I have no conceivable use for 84 Mewtwo dolls, but stand confident that, someday, I will undoubtedly safe a life using 84 Mewtwo dolls.

And, found at a nearby closeout store, here's a bag of 29-cent promotional Congo figures. Gray gorillas! The chilling fact that promotional figures for Congo actually exist notwithstanding, it's always interesting to waltz up to a tired checkout girl and dump a basket full of plastic monkeys on the table. I think there's twenty of 'em or so. Twenty gray gorillas, 84 Mewtwos, another chunk of the closet that can no longer be used for clothes.

Posted by Matt on 08/27/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 146 comments

I buy too many used books from clearance shelves. Too many to read. To many to store easily.

I am dumb.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 08/27/2004 3:34 PM


If you ever decide to start doing the account thing for posting here, you could always give a MewTwo to the first 84 to create accounts. Did I say doing?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/27/2004 3:37 PM


Moo-Twos are my favorite thing in the world besides unicorns.

Chestnuts roasted by Boglin @ 08/27/2004 4:01 PM


The best deal around is finding stuff at the local thrift store w/ the price tags still on. I don’t care what they are, I have to buy them. An electronic foot bath from Bradlees one going for $24.85? Mine! A 2XL flowery muumuu made out of polyester, originally priced $14.99? Even more mine! I bring them home and stack them in my re-gift closet. Ya never know when the occasion might arrise where I need a gift for some distant relative’s 50th birthday and don’t have time/money to shop.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 08/27/2004 4:23 PM


sovietrocket, Wal-Mart is a miserable place where miserable people go to die and work. They are also a place where the po’ kids go to play playstation II, gamecube, x-box, and gameboy advanced. I will continue with more magical tales of Wal-Mart should anyone request any. Like the much beloved tale of the cashier beotch. If something scans cheaper then the price tag the cashier will argue with you so she can keep it and buy it later.

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 08/27/2004 4:23 PM


Damn I wish I had money now :( I want old Toys R Us crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 08/27/2004 4:35 PM


Speaking of sales, I bought Unicron (the one Matt reviewed) for 13 bucks at Target.

Chestnuts roasted by Wenthral @ 08/27/2004 5:41 PM


I think you should use the mew’s to finish the Chia saga

Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 08/27/2004 5:54 PM


CONGO???
Wow.
Those toys have been sitting in the back room for almost a decade.
Its no Hi-C or chicken Spaghettio’s, but I’d call that some kind of… "find".

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 08/27/2004 6:11 PM


When some little brat in your family has a birthday, you could make a kick ass gift bag for everyone.

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 08/27/2004 6:17 PM


Who the f@*%k even decided to name it "Wal-Mart". "Toys R’ US" or the cheery cherry "Target" is so much more appealing and comforting. The name "Wal-Mart" evokes images of dry wall and asbestos.
And um…has anyone heard of a chain of stores called "Piggly Wiggly"? I wanna go I wanna go.

Can I befriend someone in the south just to visit that store with such a magical name?

Chestnuts roasted by SovietRocket @ 08/27/2004 6:37 PM


Well, I surivive my first week of college, and I can see Matt found some interesting things for us to talk about. I agree with everyone else, Wal-mart is indeed evil, force everyone out of buisness or ruining them(eg. Toy-R-Us and Thriftway, a grocery store chain in Cincinnati, OH., and the government is doing nothing to stop them.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 08/27/2004 7:02 PM


But, I glad Matt found some cheaps mewtwo plush and Congo Gorilla for us to look at.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 08/27/2004 7:05 PM


Piggly Wiggly is truly a magical grocery store!

Wal-Mart is also very evil. However, I really can’t diss them too much, because I grocery shop there due to lower prices and have been known to end up buying DVDs while I’m there as well. At least for the local Wally Worlds, the toy selection sucks. No Simpsons figures = BAD toy selection.

However, I’ll never understand why they won’t sell explicit content CDs but they’ll display "Kill Bill" front and center.

Chestnuts roasted by Andy @ 08/27/2004 7:49 PM


go for it Matt!

One time the 1/2 price store had a bunch of bulk star wars stuff for sale, They were, like, Ackbars in promo bags and others and trays with weapons in them. I grabbed several of Ackbar’s stick things.

Go Gorilla Army!!

Chestnuts roasted by dgfdg @ 08/27/2004 7:50 PM


I wanna Mewtwo!Mmy Mew plushie needs someone to feud with.

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 08/27/2004 7:52 PM


Wal-Mart for toys:

I’ve found wal-mart is a good source of discounted Lego..If I’m looking for something REALLY old..

However, TRU beats Wally World hands down in selection of toys–all kinds, not just Lego. They also have good sales, sometimes, and I still enjoy just going in and looking around.

However, part of the problem, IMO, is not Wally World’s fault; Kids simply don’t seem to buy as many toys as they used to. More money is getting spent on Video Games, DVD players, and other electronics in an attempt to get little Jimmy whatever the hot electronic product is for Christmas, so he can be popular.

However, I think TRU is stupid to want to get out of the Toy Business. TRU has HUGE brand name-recognition. Ideally, they should want to get parents hooked on "Babies-R-Us," then migrate to "Kids-R-Us" and then finally start spending the big bucks at TRU.

Ok, enough Ranting…I need to head to my TRU to see if they’ve got cool stuff on clearance! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/27/2004 8:22 PM


Dude! MATT! CAN I B UY A MEWTWO PLUSHIE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

shotgunsteve@gmail.com

PLEASE!?!

Chestnuts roasted by Henry @ 08/27/2004 8:28 PM


I got almost all of my Pokemon stuffed animals for 99 cents or less (though none from Toys R’ Us). It’s a good question, though. Why IS Toys ‘R Us getting out of the toy business? I’ve heard Babies ‘R Us and Kids ‘R Us aren’t doing spectacular, either. If kids are buying electronics, why not expand their electronics department, instead of shutting down all together?

As for Wal-Mart…I have mixed feelings. I’ve heard some very nasty things about them, how they don’t treat their workers well and drive the competition out of buisness. However, the only real shopping in the entire Southern New Jersey area is one medium-sized K-Mart in Rio Grande. Every other department store in the area has gone belly-up in the last ten years, replaced by grocery stores or discount stores like Big Lots. When you have to take two busses for almost two hours just to buy some things at a decent price…you know it’s time for a change.

Supposedly, we’re getting a Wal-Mart here very soon, so I guess I’ll find out first-hand within a few years.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/27/2004 8:53 PM


Matt, this is a little off topic but oh well. Have you seen these commercials for Apple Jacks lately? They’ve returned to their old shape but now they come with a dvd explaining the mystery behind the fucked up shapes and colors of the past year or so. Finally, we will all have answers to the blue carrot mystery!

Chestnuts roasted by Zombie Cop @ 08/27/2004 10:18 PM


Down with wal-mart! Matt will you sell me a discounted mewtwo? Last year I found a giant stuffed togepi at TRU for $1.50. I was going to get the meowth too at the same price, but it was really dirty and the charm was wrecked.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 08/27/2004 10:33 PM


fuck wal-mart. Praise the giraffe. My most fond memories were drooling all over the "World of Nintendo" section of Toys ‘R’ Us each time i went. It only pissed me off everytime I saw there weren’t any more tags for Super Mario 2 and Super Mario 3 everytime I went to buy those games (super mario took me 3 months to find in stock at ANY store). So alas mighty Geoffery, we all love ya and will miss ya when they give you the ax…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/27/2004 11:08 PM


phunqsauce:

Yeah, "World of Nintendo" Rocked!!! At my local TRU, they still have the "World of Nintendo" signs in the aisles…Of course, no displays, but oh well.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/27/2004 11:27 PM


Mmmh matt…I want one =-)

I’ll give you $50 and my first born

Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 08/27/2004 11:36 PM


Oh god video game tags *sigh* I do miss them.

Chestnuts roasted by Hyper dingo @ 08/27/2004 11:49 PM


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