When faced with a clearance sale — a major clearance sale — I often encounter trouble. Instead of just buying a single liquidated item, I tend to buy as many as possible regardless of need or even desire to own them. The sickness first surfaced eons ago (eons meaning several years of course) at Toys ‘R’ Us, where I found Wheeled Warriors accessory packs marked down to a literal eight cents each. (these were the blisterpacks containing extra tires, alien brains and guns for Saw Boss and pals) When I realized that a measly buck could a dozen toys, some little bell went off in my head and has consistently forced me to repeat the process whenever the opportunity presented itself. With that…

Some of you might have noticed TRU’s major clearance sales going on — not sure if this plays into the alleged “no more toys” rule, but whatever the case, shit’s cheap. They’ve got this deal where anything with an already marked-down green price tag is 50% off, so you’re really clashing oars with all the housewives doing their early Christmas shopping. If you can survive that, treasures await — check out that bag of Pokemon Mewtwo plushies. Quarter a pop. I have no conceivable use for 84 Mewtwo dolls, but stand confident that, someday, I will undoubtedly safe a life using 84 Mewtwo dolls.

And, found at a nearby closeout store, here’s a bag of 29-cent promotional Congo figures. Gray gorillas! The chilling fact that promotional figures for Congo actually exist notwithstanding, it’s always interesting to waltz up to a tired checkout girl and dump a basket full of plastic monkeys on the table. I think there’s twenty of ‘em or so. Twenty gray gorillas, 84 Mewtwos, another chunk of the closet that can no longer be used for clothes.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!













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I guess this is the place to drop a comment about the vending machines although it looks like Pokemon is the hot subject here.?
I always like to list my favorite quote from Matt’s article which this time is….
"but the last time I voiced displeasure against this particular deli, the storeowners suddenly forgot English, made a bunch of duck noises and kept pointing to bags of sunflower seeds."
HAR!!!!
I once went on a vending machine quest to get a keychain Rubix Cube. It took a month of searching. I found a few that had Rubix "like" key chains but only half the thing would twist thus not making it a real puzzle (unless if you think 4 combinations is hard to figure out)
Yup, I know their’s a fully functional cube keychain out there somewhere, but instead I settled forking over 15 bucks to get one shipped direct from the Rubix’s website.
Hey, when you’re on a mission like that, 15 bucks is a welcomed price tag.
Man was I pissed to find it a year later at a Wizards of the Coast store for 5 bucks. Meh, I need a new one anyways. The stickers have gotten greasy and are starting to peel and turn colors.