X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com
X-Entertainment buys lobsters from the market and sets them free.

08/27/2004: 84 Mewtwos, 200 Gray Gorillas.

When faced with a clearance sale — a major clearance sale — I often encounter trouble. Instead of just buying a single liquidated item, I tend to buy as many as possible regardless of need or even desire to own them. The sickness first surfaced eons ago (eons meaning several years of course) at Toys ‘R’ Us, where I found Wheeled Warriors accessory packs marked down to a literal eight cents each. (these were the blisterpacks containing extra tires, alien brains and guns for Saw Boss and pals) When I realized that a measly buck could a dozen toys, some little bell went off in my head and has consistently forced me to repeat the process whenever the opportunity presented itself. With that…

Some of you might have noticed TRU’s major clearance sales going on — not sure if this plays into the alleged “no more toys” rule, but whatever the case, shit’s cheap. They’ve got this deal where anything with an already marked-down green price tag is 50% off, so you’re really clashing oars with all the housewives doing their early Christmas shopping. If you can survive that, treasures await — check out that bag of Pokemon Mewtwo plushies. Quarter a pop. I have no conceivable use for 84 Mewtwo dolls, but stand confident that, someday, I will undoubtedly safe a life using 84 Mewtwo dolls.

And, found at a nearby closeout store, here’s a bag of 29-cent promotional Congo figures. Gray gorillas! The chilling fact that promotional figures for Congo actually exist notwithstanding, it’s always interesting to waltz up to a tired checkout girl and dump a basket full of plastic monkeys on the table. I think there’s twenty of ‘em or so. Twenty gray gorillas, 84 Mewtwos, another chunk of the closet that can no longer be used for clothes.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Bookmark and Share


Discussion Thread: 145 comments

I guess this is the place to drop a comment about the vending machines although it looks like Pokemon is the hot subject here.?

I always like to list my favorite quote from Matt’s article which this time is….

"but the last time I voiced displeasure against this particular deli, the storeowners suddenly forgot English, made a bunch of duck noises and kept pointing to bags of sunflower seeds."

HAR!!!!

I once went on a vending machine quest to get a keychain Rubix Cube. It took a month of searching. I found a few that had Rubix "like" key chains but only half the thing would twist thus not making it a real puzzle (unless if you think 4 combinations is hard to figure out)

Yup, I know their’s a fully functional cube keychain out there somewhere, but instead I settled forking over 15 bucks to get one shipped direct from the Rubix’s website.

Hey, when you’re on a mission like that, 15 bucks is a welcomed price tag.

Man was I pissed to find it a year later at a Wizards of the Coast store for 5 bucks. Meh, I need a new one anyways. The stickers have gotten greasy and are starting to peel and turn colors.

Ghosted by Novaximus @ 08/31/2004 2:07 PM EDT


Hey man, I got a couple of them quarter machine refugees myself. I have a blue translucent ninja which I obtained not at a quarter machine but at a pizza place–ya know one of those chuckie cheese ripoff’s but not as fun? I got the little booger for one ticket. I’ve also got one of them light up rings and I know how to turn these suckers on.

If you still got one that’s complete then what you do is simply turn it clockwise, if it falls apart put it back together and turn it counter-clockwise, you hafta turn them slowly so be careful but they should light up for ya.

It sucks Toys R us is actually considering doing away with their toy stock since they are really the ONLY stinkin’ toy store in existence that actually has what you want.

Oh and one other thing you might find kinda intresting. before the itlian and clown homie knockoffs there were Mijo’s.

I used to like Homies but upon seeing the much cooler Mijo’s I lost intrest in the homies.

what made the Mijo’s better?

they were twice as big as the homies and had cooler varietes.

even cooler than the Mijo’s are the Mijo clowns–yes you read right, Mijo clowns.

these are the kings of the Homie-type figurines. they got them with demonic little smiles holding canes, giant hammers, and torches-sure there are a couple lame crappy ones (one sits on an eight ball and another is squatting like he’s in the middle of taking a crap)but most of the Mijo clowns are pretty cool.

As if that isn’t enough there are now–and I swear I am not making this up, giant Mijo action figures that sit in the action figure aslies in wal-mart and Target right along side Batman!

Not only that but these suckers go for about eight dollars!

P.S. I was just about to close this when I remembered that there is yet another variation from the Homies lot–bobblehead homies–too bad the heads don’t actually bobble.

the one neat thing about the bobbleheads is that you can pretend to be Freddy or Jason or Micheal Myers and rip off their heads….

bwaaa haaaa haaaaa

Ghosted by Jake Knott @ 08/31/2004 2:18 PM EDT


Didn’t I just see a thing on the news about vending machine jewelry having some kind of toxic base? Or something? I’m totally serious, and I know they did some huge recall. This was maybe 3 or 4 months ago. I thought you would have mentioned it.

Anyway, speaking of CONGO, Amy want green droop drink.

Ghosted by Chris @ 08/31/2004 3:51 PM EDT


Actually, it’s green DROP drink. And who can forget "Where ground?" and "Ugly woman!". Oh, the great quotes from Congo. Timeless.

Ghosted by chris @ 08/31/2004 3:53 PM EDT


Behold…a chicken machine for sale on EBAY. nice description too!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=20270&item=6115584416&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

Ghosted by LarryDan @ 08/31/2004 4:18 PM EDT


That’s not unusual for KB Toys around here to have sales on old junk. They still have Spice Girls mini bio books from 1997. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sliders trading cards there, either.

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 08/31/2004 4:52 PM EDT


My blinky ring works just fine. I gave it to my girlfriend and she keeps it in her jewlery box when she is not wearing it.

Ghosted by Ryan @ 08/31/2004 7:08 PM EDT


HOLY EBAY, BATMAN!

Those Mewtwos would sell for $1 each easily. lol

Quadruple your money!

Ghosted by Franny @ 08/31/2004 8:28 PM EDT


It’s absolutely criminal what’s happening to the shining Providence of my youth. When I was young, there was one reflex answer to "Which store would you want to be accidently locked in overnight?" Toys R Us, my brethren, and I should think the answer was the same for many of you. Imagine, if you can, a world without Toys R Us. You don’t like it, do you? Neither do I, friend… neither do I.

And on top of it all, they’re keeping BABIES R US open… I don’t know, some marketing double-talk about how Toys R Us has been "losing money" and how Babies R Us has been "making money". Tell me, who likes babies more than toys? NOBODY, that’s who.

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 09/01/2004 2:25 AM EDT


I have a friend who used to work in Wal-Mart (which is, yes, an evil and soulless entity that destroys marriages and orphans children). He said he really wants to get a hand on a copy of the training tape they made him watch. It was supposed to familiarize new employees with the color-coded alert system they have in place. The entire concept is insanely amusing to me… they have codes for chemical spills, contaminants (in the video, a new employee was seen literally cleaning up a corpse-sized pool of blood), and HOSTAGE SITUATIONS.

It might be silly, but I suppose it’s not that far out… the Wal-Mart in my hich hometown is the size of a small city, and they DO sell guns, right? I just can’t imagine deciding to go out in a glorious last stand as WAL-MART.

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 09/01/2004 2:42 AM EDT


God I wish we could edit posts V_V (or I could alternately take the freakin’ time to read them over before posting, I guess…)

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 09/01/2004 2:45 AM EDT


Err… who loves babies more than toys?

Well.. babies love toys more than babies.

Who loves toys more than babies? Um… toddlers…

But yeah.. it’s hard to believe that toys r us is less profitable than babies r us. I figured when you’re no longer a Baby R Them, you become a Kid R Them, and you’re old enough to whine and complain for expensive shit for christmas.

Ghosted by Franny @ 09/01/2004 10:30 PM EDT


legend, thats some sweet test or rather experiment you took on there…. i always wondered what theym bastards dropped… lol…

respect…

Ghosted by chris @ 09/02/2004 4:43 AM EDT


Buy the chicken machine.

BUY THE CHICKEN MACHINE.

Then write 20 articles and bill the price of the chicken machine to your company.

:D

Ghosted by Craig @ 09/02/2004 4:13 PM EDT


A chicken machine? When I was little a store in my town had a parrot machine…it even "talked" when you walked by!

Ghosted by froggie @ 09/02/2004 10:40 PM EDT


Has anybody mentioned Juicyfruit is now 30 cents yet?

Well. It is. On the west coast anyways.

Ghosted by gidge @ 09/03/2004 3:02 AM EDT


I am very under the weather. I almost vomited while laughing several times at the prize machine article.

I may need your address matt, if any of the other articles I havent looked at as of yet do make me vomit, I will have to mail you some…

Consider it "Natural Slime"

Ghosted by spazzamatic @ 09/03/2004 4:54 PM EDT


I used to call Chuck E. Cheese’s "Chucking up cheese" since the pizza was so horrible. I’m surprised that place was never busted for health code violations.

Anyone remember the joke items you could get in one of those machines like the plastic insects, hand buzzer, whooppee cushion, etc? I think we got a few things from those.

Ghosted by Bert Raccoon @ 09/03/2004 7:39 PM EDT


Matt, glad you saw the redundancy with "final conclusion." I’m anal about that stuff and was going to be the annoying asshole in grade school English class who says his favorite book is whatever the English teacher says is hers. I was going to drop a line immediately, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and happily saw your revelation at the end. Cheers.

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 09/04/2004 12:10 PM EDT


Crap. Wrong post.

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 09/04/2004 12:12 PM EDT


Matt you gotta go in dressed up like Little Mac and punch a fat guy in the stomach and be like "hah, in your face King Hippo, I’m from the Bronx bitch!"

Good times.

Ghosted by JD @ 09/04/2004 4:04 PM EDT


Toys R Us is not closing down. I work there. We’re splitting Babies R Us off of us to form a new company. The green tag sale is to get rid of all the old old toys thatnobody wants to spend real money on anymore

Ghosted by Pigeon @ 09/05/2004 9:39 AM EDT


I have that very same gun keychain! along with about 40 others. I used to use them with my 12" G.I. Joe figures because they fit great if you cut the plastic ring off and they’re scaled to a more realistic size.

Ghosted by Trampus @ 09/05/2004 3:24 PM EDT


Hey man. This site is freaking awesome. Just wanted to say u r doing a great job and i’ve enjoyed many of your articles. i’m only a year younger than you and this stuff brings back memories.

Ghosted by Mike @ 09/05/2004 8:13 PM EDT


we have one of those chicken machines, at a grocery store in our hometown. it doesn’t play music though, but still lays eggs.

Ghosted by Becky @ 09/07/2004 12:10 PM EDT


So much good writing and funny concept here..

Ghosted by Rancho @ 09/07/2004 4:19 PM EDT


Keep trying on the Blinky Rings – I got two, one worked (.500 average??). The working ones are very cool – worth getting a few duds. Most likely the batteries are reversed/dead. It seems like if the ring rattles apart on the trip over from whatever distant slave archepelago they are made, the batteries might short out on the metal ring parts in the capsule. Most of the rings had fallen apart in the machine that I found. The ring that worked, was the one which was intact in the capsule.

Ghosted by HP LaserJet 4200tn @ 09/07/2004 5:14 PM EDT


Ok, so I’m 35, and not to sound too terribly fartishly old, this really brings back memories of the mid-70s when my friends and I would slavishly pump quarters into one of these things in the always vain hope of getting the lighter. There was this gold or silver lighter in a lot of the quarter machines, but only one person I knew ever got one. And it actually worked.

God, the seventies were great, if only because then people trusted their children with the secret of fire.

Of course, the snakering i kept getting was quite wicked too. Too bad I gave them away to Tabitha, who gave me only cooties and heartache in return.

Ghosted by Pandaba @ 09/08/2004 12:23 PM EDT


the ring you that lights up has the batterys put in backwards.I gave it to my girl as a promise ring:) But now all she says is that, I think shes only worth 50 cents. :( I guess I m just an Inconsiderate bastard. So much for trying to be cute.

Ghosted by daniel lostangl1981@yahoo.com @ 09/09/2004 1:32 AM EDT


Holly crap. You make me laugh. I poopy so hard. You me like funny ha ha. I like machine gift giver with more happiness. Thank you.

Ghosted by Rikhaus @ 09/10/2004 6:10 PM EDT


I’m still curious about these machines whenever I pass them. That’s a really great part of having a 7 yr.old daughter, I look like a wonderful dad giving his kid a thrill whenever I give her a quarter for one, but I get almost as big a kick out of it.

Incidently, she’s into the Shrek and alien figurines (both just a quarter) what a deal!

Good job, Matt.

Ghosted by Terry @ 09/11/2004 9:31 AM EDT


I wonder what the TRU down here in Honolulu is like, I haven’t been there for at least 10 years. I was at Times Square a few months ago, and there was this huge line into the TRU. I couldn’t figure it out.

Ghosted by Christian @ 09/15/2004 1:37 PM EDT


Hahaha that was the funniest work time killer i think i have ever read. Holy crap that feed us a live insect machine is just scary

Ghosted by Jackie @ 09/20/2004 3:11 AM EDT


Ever wonder that if you were to put in just one more quarter you would receive that FM radio? Just a thought…

Ghosted by Meagan @ 09/21/2004 9:16 PM EDT


what do clearnance items have to do with vending machines? i can see a connection but i’m not sure i understand… i suppose this makes more sense than the giant worm link leading to the front page.

anywho, you missed the paratroopers, they were the of the coolest things kids could get at the grocery store in my neighborhood. yep it was them and the fake mad balls that were small and made of plastic. further, about the chicken machine… for me it wasn’t the chicken so much as the eggs themselves which can sometimes be found coming from regular machines. my bro and i used to use these eggs to hold pennies, rocks, water etc. to chuck at animals, cars and of course, each other. these mini grenades split open on impact and whatever was inside splattered out. this was better than just throwing regular eggs because we were dirt poor and ate eggs for dinner.

plz visit my page and or vote for Kerry. (not that i give a crap)

Ghosted by )@(*#&!_)@(*$#)%*+^(+_@! @ 09/22/2004 1:48 AM EDT


Hey Matt – here’s another article I missed until now.

There’s a chicken machine in this museum of a mall in Baldwinsville, NY. It’s called the Tri-county mall, and walking down its echoey floors you’ll see a vast array of stores that bit the dust years ago. There are disco-balls that hang from the ceiling, for crying out loud. There is only pizza shop and a card shop left, which is enough to bring in the 12 year old boys.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 10/06/2004 6:45 PM EDT


ok so the chicken vending machine…omg i was so excited to see that…there was one at the local supermarket i went to with my grandparents a as a little kid and i always got something from it…it was at a METS supermarket in the Bronx…i havent been back there in years so i dont know if its still there but it was by far THE BEST! :)

Ghosted by Lisa G. @ 10/09/2004 9:35 AM EDT


So I guess its’ Mew-Eighty-Four now.

I wish they had sales like that here in FL

Ghosted by Will R. @ 10/16/2004 4:34 PM EDT


hey, i love those blinking rings. to make them work, though, you have to remove this plastic, black ring around the middle, and screw the top into the bottom! that’s it! and those are some serious batteries in there! give them another chance, they’re worth it!

Ghosted by Bri @ 11/07/2004 3:05 AM EST


So are you selling any mewtwo’s?

Ghosted by heather @ 06/18/2007 2:22 PM EDT


Anybody who knows where to find those little metal rings they used to sell in vending machines that have the little rivets in them that always broke when you put them on please let me know!

Ghosted by Mary @ 06/29/2007 3:37 AM EDT


love it

Ghosted by kaylee @ 07/02/2007 10:54 PM EDT


I’ll buy a mewtwo!

Ghosted by Rowena @ 01/25/2009 12:06 PM EST


I just drove 330 miles for one of those damn chicken machines.My (sometimes dyslexic) gps was even afraid to talk in downtown Detroit, she (Icall her Karen)maintained radio silence for about 10 blocks, (Like we were in a WW II deep sea submarine behind enemy lines). She abandoned me as we toured block after block of burnt out tenaments. (When was The Great Detroit War?) I was surprised to find The Chicken’s even more attractive distant tropical cousin, Yes, The Talking Parrot Egg Laying Machine.I couldn’t come home without him. He’s beautiful. He taunts you by whistling and the occasional “craaaw” noise when you least expect it. He surprised me the first time he spoke, He has an english accent.and calls the egg a “present” England is far from tropical but I’ll adjust eventually.I for one love these chicken and parrot machines and they will be preserved in my collection FOREVVVVVER. I’m a tad weird, I also have 13 tampon machines, coin op bed vibrator, hot nut machine, coin op radio,coin op popcorn machine, 5 coke machines,1 pepsi, 4 slot machines, cigarette, gum and cigar, condom, pencil, chicklet, toy, bouncy ball, golf ball and more.

Ghosted by steevied @ 03/05/2009 1:25 AM EST


Add A New Comment!