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I saw Mr. Peanut.

Went outside for an early smoke after getting to work, not even hitting the point where I would've considered myself fully awake yet. So of course, when I looked up and saw Mr. Peanut, I assumed it to be mere residual dreamy shit.

But it was really him. Mr. Peanut was standing right there, with human helpers who handed out free packets of honey roasted Planters peanuts while urging folks to join in on some walk-a-thon. A contradiction in actions almost overlooked because hey, Mr. Peanut was standing right next to me.

I knew the day could only decline in quality from there. Those who favor momentum should only allow themselves to see Mr. Peanut near midnight.

The best thing about being paid to dress up like Mr. Peanut and hand out peanuts is that, while growing up, nobody would've ever predicted that you'd end up doing that. You are a career surprise. You're Mr. Peanut, and I love you for it.

Posted by Matt on 08/19/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 70 comments

Sigh…I wanna live in NYC.

Chia Plot, please.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 08/20/2004 12:46 PM

That bald guy in pix number three is starin’ at Mr. Peanut’s booty.

Chestnuts roasted by Astroboy @ 08/20/2004 12:55 PM

I call it a herd of monkeys. I’m aware of the correct labelling of animal collectives, I was just being creative with my text. Herd of monkeys is funnier.

Chestnuts roasted by AlphaCentaurian @ 08/20/2004 1:08 PM

Ok, here’s what I think:
A gaggle of geese
A school of fish
A herd of cattle
A group of people
A pride of lions
A swarm of bees
A line of cocaine
A covey of quail
A quart of milk
A gang of hoodlums
A crash of rhinoceri
A leash of foxes
A flock of seagulls
and…

A barrel of monkeys.

If I could ask Mr. Peanut just one thing, I would ask what’s the name of that one-eye’d thing you wear on your one eye. Is it a spectacle? Its not an eye-glass… you know, what’s it called? I think it starts with a "P", which is why they gave it to Mr. Peanut.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/20/2004 1:27 PM

Barry J. – the eyeglass doesn’t start with a ‘P’. It’s a monocle.

Chestnuts roasted by Bex @ 08/20/2004 2:25 PM

Barrel of monkeys and a Murder of Crows. Light and Dark. Artsy Fartsy.

Chestnuts roasted by Blaine @ 08/20/2004 3:19 PM

A pound of puppies?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/20/2004 3:40 PM

I just saw the commercial for http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/totally_obsessed/series.jhtml">Totally Obsessed on VH1 with the Ninja Turtle fan. They are http://www.vh1.com/shows/casting_call/">casting for upcoming episodes.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/20/2004 4:48 PM

A Sneak of Ninja?

Chestnuts roasted by Blaine @ 08/20/2004 5:28 PM

Hah! It is a Monacle!
Thanks BEX!!!

Hey, Bex rhymes with…

Chex!

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/20/2004 6:02 PM

Hey Matt, who do think would win in an Alien vs Predator-style death battle: Mr Peanut or Homeless Spiderman???

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/20/2004 6:06 PM

And I should add to the Tomagotchi thing…at the KB Toys store where I work at, we opened up one of them and played with it.

Let me tell you one thing: its just as cool and addictive as the originals! @_@ We named him Pepay becuase my manager wouldn’t allow us to name it Peepi or something that sounded like it…

I was actually trying to post earlier, but I got a page saying that I was banned from using this site whenever I tried to post a message. Weird…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/20/2004 6:10 PM

Mr. Peanut would destroy homeless Spidey.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/20/2004 6:12 PM

Beware the power of Mr. Peanut’s monochle. It will destroy you…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/20/2004 6:14 PM

Just something I’ve always wondered: Matt, I always enjoy these little photo vignettes (is that the right word) of your days, but why exactly are you always carrying your camera around? You said that you went out for a smoke when this happened, I wouldn’t think a camera would be required for that activity. (Then again, I’m a non-smoker, what do I know?)

Chestnuts roasted by Aberration @ 08/20/2004 6:46 PM

90% of the time I carry a bag, and 100% that I’m carring my bag, I have the camera. This wasn’t one of those times, but my cell phone also has a camera.

Yes, I shoved a cell phone up in Mr. Peanut’s grill, yo.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/20/2004 6:48 PM

Aberration, wait until the day the aliens/bigfeet try to kidnap Matt and he outsmarts them. You will then see why one should always carry a camera and thank him for the photographic proof of those damn space lizards/missing links’ evil webmaster plot.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/20/2004 8:08 PM

Too bad you didn’t have a Bamboo Mystery Peanut to give him.

Chestnuts roasted by CaptainCaveman @ 08/20/2004 10:28 PM

D’oh, I completely forgot about camera phones, it all makes sense now! I should get one of those someday, although I rarely run into pop icons on the street, so there’s no rush.

ME, I don’t think the aliens would bother kidnapping Matt. With all the monster/alien movies that he’s seen, I’m sure he could figure out a way to defeat any inhuman threat within an hour. They’d either have to get rid of him first, or try to win him to their cause (which almost never works, but most aliens aren’t known for their smarts)

Chestnuts roasted by Aberration @ 08/20/2004 11:05 PM

Mr. Peanut, man! When I was growing up, at Woodbridge Center Mall in Joisey, there was a cigar store near JC Penney that had a lifelike Mr. Peanut statue. His hand was always sticking out, and, as a kid, I always had to shake it!

~Excuse me sir, are you going to eat your peanuts?!

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 08/20/2004 11:09 PM

there is a laser in his monocle, and he scans everything he sees into his database of things to destroy…muahhahahaha

Radioactive peanut man banished from his home planet to forever peddle peanuts on the streets of new york with his sidekick Spiderbum!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 08/21/2004 12:06 PM

I’d like to see Mr. Peanut fight Swamp Thing. It would be pretty interesting. Or perhaps Swamp Thing vs. The BEast from the Beauty and the BEast show that was on FOX back in the day. It would be the showdown of old school fox shows. Perhaps they could team up and destroy the cast of 21 Jump Street. Imagine the possibilities…..

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 08/21/2004 1:51 AM

‘ You know, judging by the way Mr Peanut dresses, he must be filthy rich. ‘

Of course he is! He’s selling out his OWN KIND!

Chestnuts roasted by Fhydra @ 08/21/2004 3:52 AM

It’s like the Perdue chickens getting "fired" for eating pizza. Run! Run, while you still can, chicken! Or soon, you will be some greasy truck driver’s lunch!

I remember how hot it was out. Wow, Mr. Peanut must have been sweltering. Did he talk? Matt, you should carry one of those mini tape recorders w/ you so you can record life’s great oral mysteries. Also, if you had a Rex Harrison hat w/ a little card sticking out of the brim that said PRESS, you’d be able to get into all kinds of cool places, like movie premieres and crime scenes.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 08/21/2004 7:57 AM

Uh, Majesco Acquires Rights to Jaws

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/21/2004 11:38 AM

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This entry was posted on Thursday, August 19th, 2004 at 11:02 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.