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Spider-Man Reviews Crayons -> Part 3!

Spider-Man's dropped the dead weight for Part 3, returning to that secret nuance of his that really brought him to the dance: an intense interest in reviewing each of Crayola's 96 crayons. It's finally over. We can never speak of it again. Check back here tomorrow for an Alien Fruit Monster update, and a couple of too-short movie reviews about murderous swine and happy cats.

Posted by Matt on 08/08/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

Oh, wait. My mistake. It does have two C’s.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 08/09/2004 2:58 AM

nice job with the crayon stuff. nowhurry the fuck up and make the archive work

Chestnuts roasted by Dustinsballs @ 08/09/2004 3:37 AM

The Raccoon’s were nifty. I liked Cyril Sneer’s pig sidekicks…god, 1980s staple Canadian sunday television was fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 08/09/2004 4:09 AM

Brick Red truly is a crayon of the gods. I’m just surprised it took so long to get to it.

I think Raw Umber was a higher level monster in D&D, if that helps.

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 08/09/2004 5:13 AM

Hey, Matt! If you were to draw and colour a picture of a glass of Hi*C Ecto-Cooler, which green crayon would you use?

Chestnuts roasted by Liquidduck @ 08/09/2004 5:18 AM

Where can I get the DVDs Superstar?

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/09/2004 6:26 AM

I want to know the details for ‘coloring your state’.

Chestnuts roasted by Scuba Steve @ 08/09/2004 7:15 AM

Dammit, now I want crayons. Especially copper.

Chestnuts roasted by Vidd @ 08/09/2004 7:31 AM

OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS PINK CRAYON!

Chestnuts roasted by 4fcf4c4 @ 08/09/2004 8:18 AM

If you’re in Canada, Wal-Mart and Superstore, I don’t know for Americans

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 08/09/2004 9:47 AM

Great review Matt!
I can’t believe you reviewed every one…then again I didn’t count so you could’ve cheated. Not that it matters.
But did the box have the almighty sharpener on the back? that alone is a review in it self.

Chestnuts roasted by Jenner @ 08/09/2004 10:34 AM

I agree about brick red. One of the best! Where did you find the spiderman figure anyway? He can really talk it up!

Chestnuts roasted by Danny @ 08/09/2004 10:35 AM

"Brick is Red"? I can’t wait for "Caribou Blue", "Bone Machine Green", and "Into the White"

Chestnuts roasted by Proper Copper @ 08/09/2004 11:01 AM

I laughed a lot during this. And that Spiderman figure is so cute. Can i have his number?

Chestnuts roasted by Angela @ 08/09/2004 11:09 AM

You’re one sick puppy Matt, and we love you for it. Part III was definitely the best in this trilogy. I so need a coloring book, some crayons and a couple of new action figures for the weekend.

And here I was planning on getting drunk, going out and get laid by desperate women… YOU SUCK MATT!

Chestnuts roasted by Rattus @ 08/09/2004 11:28 AM

I haven’t seen any Raccoons DVDs at the Wal-marts I’ve been to. I checked to see if Amazon.com had them but they didn’t. That sucks!

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/09/2004 11:33 AM

I think every adult in America should have a big box o’crayons and about five coloring books, three of their choice, and two random. Or, assign a crayon to each member of X-E. I call Violent, I mean Violet! It’s (purple).

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/09/2004 11:45 AM

Whee, candle crayons! Just gotta make sure that the crayons you’re using are actually made of wax. My grandma had some plastic crayons lying around when I got the brilliant idea to make my own candles… It didn’t work very well…

Chestnuts roasted by T.G. @ 08/09/2004 12:24 PM

What is the strange hold that Spiderman has? Now I want to go buy crayons.

Chestnuts roasted by Kay @ 08/09/2004 1:04 PM

I think this ‘Spider-Man reviews crayons’ thing was just for Matt to prove that no matter how stupid something is on here, people will still read it because it’s on x-entertainment. I tip my hat to you, sir.

Chestnuts roasted by Shmu @ 08/09/2004 2:28 PM

I have this insane urge now to go and buy crayons, and hold one, repeating "Indigo Montoya" over and over and giggling.

More meds please.

My favourite thing to do with crayons was to shave little pieces off them, stick them between pieces of paper and iron them. They all melted and created "art", and we made mother’s day cards out of them. Except my mom wasn’t too impressed to get Burned Sienna and Violet traces on my dad’s shirt because the crayons leaked from between the papers onto the iron.

This review was one of the most useless, irrelevant and unnecessary piece ever to exist in cyberspace. Thank you for that, God know we all can use more of a good chuckle.

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 08/09/2004 2:50 PM

Part 2 of "Keiki: Low Brow" is now up. http://www.platypuscomix.net/cartoon11.html">Check it out!

If "The Raccoons" were on DVD I would know. http://www.tvshowsondvd.com is very thorough. The Raccoons is not there….

And the Dr. Mario song went like, "BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADO-WHOAAAAAA!!!! HE’S GOT THE CURE! WHAAAA!!" I still haven’t seen a wmv of that ad…it’s the original one with Neal Patrick Harris, not the later one with the witch doctor. Apparently Matt has it, so….let’s see it again!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/09/2004 2:51 PM

Great stuff

Chestnuts roasted by the dude @ 08/09/2004 2:56 PM

Thanks for the "Raccoons" info! I will totally sign the petition.
Matt- Have you seen or know of the Raccoons? Or is that just something us Canadian folk grew up with? Either way, it was a wicked show. And the theme song rocked! So many times I have fallen in love with a show due to its theme song..hence ‘heathcliff’ and ‘denver the last dinosaur!’

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 08/09/2004 2:58 PM

I don’t remember The Raccoons HAVING a theme song. It just had clips from the show and then a narrator explaining who everybody was, then "THE RACCOONS!" spelled out in stars in the sky.

Maybe that was just what was done in America. In America it aired on The Disney Channel, back when you had to pay for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/09/2004 3:05 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, August 8th, 2004 at 10:40 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.