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08/01/2004: Spider-Man Reviews Crayons -> Part 1!

By now many of you have probably seen that giant Spider-Man action figure with 999 points of articulation, allowing for more poses than any other doll in history.  Here’s my review of it.  It’s not cheap — I think it was 25 bucks or so — but the figure’s pretty neat once you get past the fact that his legs are so tough to pose and that all the joints in his spine make him look like a special robot.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!


Discussion Thread: 294 comments

It pleases me very much, Spidey.

Posted by Proper Copper @ 08/01/2004 8:58 PM EDT

Ghetto New York City Spidey has nothing on the 9 million points of articulation Spidey

Posted by EmperorBinky @ 08/01/2004 9:00 PM EDT

God, if I still had my video-in card on my computer, I’d buy that just to animate it.

Posted by Piscez @ 08/01/2004 9:06 PM EDT

Ohhh, the pretty color. I cannot wait until Spidey review more colors. Matt, after Spidey review all crayons, may be you can have Spidey break the crayons up and recreated them in the Crayola’s Crayons Maker.

Posted by Beta-Theta @ 08/01/2004 9:13 PM EDT

I believe the Crayola’s Crayons Maker is still avilable at local toy stores, but it could be avilable at discount store too.

Posted by Beta-Theta @ 08/01/2004 9:18 PM EDT

No offense Matt, but where have you been? This thing has been only 20 dollars at Wal-Mart and has been recently been reduced to 15 dollars.

Posted by Eric @ 08/01/2004 9:20 PM EDT

For now I have nothing else comment about Crayola’s crayons so again here a random pic of a chimp on animal planet:

http://animal.discovery.com/ne.../20040524/chimpchrom_zoom.html

Posted by Beta-Theta @ 08/01/2004 9:26 PM EDT

YAY Spidey, you should make a rainbow of all the colors for your ending picture.

Posted by rimmie @ 08/01/2004 9:38 PM EDT

Damn.  Them Crayolas are bang-droppin’!  And what’s better than Spidey showing them too us?  In fact, if it weren’t for Spidey, this article woulda been way Bitner.

Posted by Nate @ 08/01/2004 9:42 PM EDT

How dare you write this article without my approval?  Remove it at once, or I will be talking to my lawyer!

Posted by Tobey Maguire @ 08/01/2004 9:51 PM EDT

Just kidding.  "Tobey Maguire" was actually me.

Posted by Nate @ 08/01/2004 9:51 PM EDT

How dare you impersonate me?  You’ll be hearing from my lawyer about this!

Posted by Tobey Maguire @ 08/01/2004 9:52 PM EDT

Ah, the good old days. When the full archives finally come back up, you really need to devote a section to action figure adventures.

Posted by Evin @ 08/01/2004 9:57 PM EDT

sweet, like candy.  The candy colored rainbow of that kickin box of Crayolas!!!!  Great job Spidey!!!

Posted by blueBomber @ 08/01/2004 10:00 PM EDT

I was pissed off when Crayola took out blue gray, orange yellow, green blue, maize, orange red, violet blue, lemon yellow and raw umber…

Posted by Somebody @ 08/01/2004 10:05 PM EDT

I have that Spidey toy, and I love him so much that he could review different colors of dog poo, and I would still love the article.

Posted by kodo @ 08/01/2004 10:35 PM EDT

This is definitely an amazing review. I can name a bunch of stupid crayon colors that I miss.

::prays the crayon Razzle Dazzle Rose will show up::

Posted by Denise @ 08/01/2004 10:49 PM EDT

wow thats a pretty awesome Spidey.. I used to have the older 12" one based off of the comic.. I think he had all of about 4 points of articulation..

Posted by Toxicity- @ 08/01/2004 10:51 PM EDT

JESUS!  That has to be the biggest action figure I’ve ever seen.

Posted by Al @ 08/01/2004 10:58 PM EDT

There are far too many colors available today. I have a box of colored pencils, and I wanted ONE particular color from it. Took me, like, an hour to find the brown. On the way, I found a color called "Taupe". Who in the hell has heard of "Taupe"?

Matt, do my a favor. When you get to Taupe, break it in half for me. I’ll be ever-greatful. That color has raised my ire, and it is now my sworn enemy.

Oh, and, um, nice article. I wish they’d make die-case model cars with that much articulation. I’d be in heaven.

Posted by Paul Ortego @ 08/01/2004 10:59 PM EDT

I love how posable spidey’s fingers are.  It gives me a special feeling…

Posted by phunqsauce @ 08/01/2004 11:02 PM EDT

That is indeed a cool Spidey.  The coolest part, is that several Target stores have put their Spidey toys on clearance. The Spiderman featured in Matt’s article now sells for less than ten bucks.

Posted by Dude McGuy @ 08/01/2004 11:06 PM EDT

Can’t wait for burnt sienne and cornflower…they were so lame.  this article was funny as shit

Posted by Jay Amabile @ 08/01/2004 11:21 PM EDT

So…
Was I the only one that wanted to call the Spidey-named "Swamp green" "Shrek green"? Come on, you know you were thinking it.

Posted by Rainbowfeet @ 08/01/2004 11:37 PM EDT

Matt, leave the house every now and then….you’re frickin insane

Posted by skiwlz @ 08/01/2004 11:43 PM EDT

I can never quite figure out who this comment section is for exactly.  Matt or us, the commenters.

Great article BTW.  Simplicity so works.

You know what cracks me up the most?  The mental vision I have of you spending all that time fixing spidey up just right for you’re next Digi cam shot.  I would shit a brick if I walked in on you hovering over something like a jar of fluff while maddly snapping away.

Posted by Novaximus @ 08/01/2004 11:54 PM EDT

Help me, I’m dying!

Good article, though.

Posted by Cobra's Chia Plot @ 08/02/2004 1:03 AM EDT

Once again Matt has done it.  With the undeniable formula of action figure + anything = comedy gold.  GOLD JERRY GOLD!!!!

Posted by K Miller @ 08/02/2004 2:26 AM EDT

My fave color was always cerulean for some reason. That is all…

Posted by Emmaaaaa @ 08/02/2004 2:31 AM EDT

I remember an episode of Conan O’Brien where he and the guest kept using the word razzmatazz over and over and just kept cracking up.  If I remember correctly, that freak-o guy who’s always doing the sketch comedy stuff for Conan (Preparation-H Raymond) was singing a song just before the interview and kept repeating "Razzmatazz."  Now I just go into hysterics just thinking about the word. 

Also, the picture of the wedding couple leaves me with a multitude of questions.  Spider-Man refers to the groom as Satan.  I wonder if Matt knows the guy in the picture?

Posted by inkmage @ 08/02/2004 3:09 AM EDT

the crayon "cerise" isn’t named after someone. Cerise, is french for Cherry.

ps: spiderman on crayons… very funny :)

Posted by Phill @ 08/02/2004 4:19 AM EDT

I love crayons more than I love some people in my family, so this article was one I found EXTREMELY funny. But, then again, EVERYTHING is funny when you’ve gotten as little sleep as I have… Not to deny the almighty comedic power of Overlord Matt, naturally.

Posted by Freezair @ 08/02/2004 4:20 AM EDT

I don’t have any particular childhood attachment to crayons and therefore have nothing to say.

I do however have fond memories of Lauretian Pencil Crayons (Canadians, eh) and using the emerald green down to a stump.

Posted by Cannibalizer @ 08/02/2004 4:35 AM EDT

Does Crayola still put the crayon sharpener in the back?

Posted by Scuba Steve @ 08/02/2004 6:02 AM EDT

Spidey reviewing Crayons is all well and good, but where the heck is the next part of Cobra’s Chia Plot!?!?!?! I mean c’mon it’s been like 4 months already. Please please please finish it.

Posted by bishopX @ 08/02/2004 8:04 AM EDT

ALL HAIL THE ROYAL PURPLE SPIDER-MAN!!!

Posted by Gunder Wing @ 08/02/2004 8:08 AM EDT

I want to see the Hulk come in and smash that crayon box to pieces, fatally injuring every crayon on the box. Beta Theta had a good idea about the crayon maker. Or, you could make little cups out of tin foil and melt the crayons in your own oven (200 degrees until melted). Then you’d have tons of multi-colored waxen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Yum!

Posted by trajeal @ 08/02/2004 8:20 AM EDT

great article

I like the big text.

Red and black are great colors. Black is for ninjas. Red is for all the BLOOD they let.

Some of those colors are just gay.

I like how some of the smaller figures are also more articulated. There was a really funny forum thread at somethingawful.com where they posed a Spiderman.

Posted by dsfhdfh @ 08/02/2004 8:35 AM EDT

Matt - stellar job, as ever!  Can’t wait for the next installment!

Posted by Gretchen @ 08/02/2004 9:02 AM EDT

This was pure excellence!

Posted by B-Dawg @ 08/02/2004 9:06 AM EDT

Yes, typical X-E style.

Barely any articles, and then, WHAM!!! We get a big one. A big funny one, too. 

I almost pooped my pants from laughing so hard!

Posted by SHANE! @ 08/02/2004 10:16 AM EDT

can i just say……..

GOD DAMN BEST ARTICLE EVER!!!!!

And Matt, after your penny arcade article i have written my own, with pictures, of Englands equivelent. if you would like an X-E UK Article i have it ready to send

Posted by Nick Soapdish - now with Purple hair @ 08/02/2004 11:34 AM EDT

Cool!  Double fun day for me.  Here in Anadarko, this is the first day of the American Indian Exposition.  It kicks off with an 11:00 parade through town, and it goes by my work.  Add a Spidey article to that, and it’s a August Miracle!  Dancing days are here again.

Posted by kingklash @ 08/02/2004 11:50 AM EDT

Thanks for reminding me. It’s time for me to pick up a new set of crayons and 50-something box of colored pencils to put in my Yoda SW Episode II lunchbox for when I draw :)

Posted by AngeFaitore @ 08/02/2004 11:55 AM EDT

I think it’s funny that you decided to review EVERY Crayola Crayon! lol

Posted by Anna @ 08/02/2004 12:04 PM EDT

Of course you had to mention carnation instant breakfast you crazy crazy man!

Posted by phunqsauce @ 08/02/2004 12:06 PM EDT

Awesome idea, awesome toy, awesome crayons, awesome article. Awesome. Emosewa.

Posted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/02/2004 12:10 PM EDT

By the way spidey’s right hand when he’s holding the yellow crayon looks like it’s in a world of pain.  perhaps a little too articulate.

Posted by phunqsauce @ 08/02/2004 12:13 PM EDT

This is not about the article (Haven’t read it yet), but I just wanted to report that I went to Six Flags Over Texas today, and you can buy t-shirts with the creepy old man from the commercials on them..

Posted by Cameron @ 08/02/2004 12:17 PM EDT

I haven’t commented here in a really long time (that doesn’t mean I don’t love the articles, I do) but I just have to take a moment and say, that in the "Best Crayon" picture, the way you have made Spider-Man look positively SASSY brought joy to my heart.  Thank you.

Posted by Sargasm @ 08/02/2004 12:33 PM EDT

XD I loved the part where you got to the brown crayon…That was great. I never realized how ridiculous the names of the Crayola crayons truly were until this day. When you’re little, you just don’t seem to mind much. I can’t wait for the next two!

Posted by Bloodshed Goth @ 08/02/2004 12:53 PM EDT

ahaha that was hilarious. I even made the review for the colour Blue in my MSN name hahah

Posted by Cameron @ 08/02/2004 12:54 PM EDT

Thing is, some names and/or colors are dropped and new ones are thought up.  Someone was paid a lotta moolah to think up RazzMaTazz.  Only in America!

Posted by kingklash @ 08/02/2004 1:25 PM EDT

To quote "The Adventures of WIlly Beamish" for Sega CD (talk about an obscure reference):

"White Crayola Crayon. The most useless color in the Crayola Crayon box, unless of course you happen to be a taylor."

Actually Matt, its not that useless. After coloring a picture, I would almost always go over it entirely with a white crayon to give it a more glossy appearence. Try it.

Posted by A-wel Cruiz @ 08/02/2004 1:32 PM EDT

Can’t.. read.. playing Doom 3..

Posted by Cyanyde @ 08/02/2004 1:36 PM EDT

If the two Spider-Man movies have taught me nothing else, it is the following: Kirsten Dunst has nipples.

Posted by The Yeti @ 08/02/2004 1:56 PM EDT

I remember when 72 was the most crayons in existence. And Cerise replaced "Indian Red," I think. By "Indian Red" they meant red from India, but too many parents were getting it wrong.

Posted by Mars @ 08/02/2004 2:15 PM EDT

I hate to break up the usual lovefest Matt-worship that goes on here, but had to ask the following:  Now that you’re busy writien NES . . . I mean, Nickelodeon commercials, have you considered working with an editor?  I know from reading the site that you have had other writers share the site with you and it did not work out, and perhaps you already have an editor — I don’t know — but I think an editor could really tighten up your work and make some these good articles truly superb.  Great effort.

Posted by Pedro @ 08/02/2004 2:32 PM EDT

writing, not "writien."

Those who live in glass houses, blah blah blah . . . yeah, I know.

Posted by Pedro @ 08/02/2004 2:34 PM EDT

Ahhh, I’ve been hoping for more X-E crayon fun since the Clowny article.  Thanks!

Posted by Crayolalyn @ 08/02/2004 2:41 PM EDT

Is that the 12", 18", or 30" Spidey? Cool article. Can’t wait to see more.

Posted by The Dragonrider @ 08/02/2004 3:06 PM EDT

Love the article, want part three nowww please *penguin begging* *grin*

Nick Soapdish - Purple hair, very cool.

Posted by Purple Penguin @ 08/02/2004 3:24 PM EDT

Don’t forget how useful white crayons are for coloring easter eggs.

Posted by kingklash @ 08/02/2004 4:03 PM EDT

umm, is it just me that noticed a reference to copper as a gem? last time i checked, copper was a metal.

Posted by davery @ 08/02/2004 4:06 PM EDT

You can use white crayons to write secret messages, as long as your messegee has a darker crayon on them.

Posted by trajeal @ 08/02/2004 4:24 PM EDT

RAZZMATAZZ…

1-a state of confusion or hilarity.

2-a flashy action or display intended to bewilder, confuse, obfuscate, or deceive.

3- a very entertaining and funny barbershop quartet.

(Meriam Webster, famous author)

Posted by Mr. S @ 08/02/2004 4:26 PM EDT

I admire a man who respects his crayons.  Good on you, buddy.

Posted by Kristal @ 08/02/2004 4:31 PM EDT

Poor Spidey, looks like he’s an advanced rheumatoid arthritis victim with those finger positions.

Posted by Culex @ 08/02/2004 5:38 PM EDT

I just bought a box of 120 crayola crayons. I feel jipped. what about the other 24 crayons. ::tear::

Posted by Ally @ 08/02/2004 5:54 PM EDT

"The Best Crayon" pic is now my desktop.  Nuff said.

Posted by Grym Reaper @ 08/02/2004 5:59 PM EDT

This is friggin hilarious.

Posted by Jay @ 08/02/2004 6:43 PM EDT

Just a note for anyone wanting to make crayon cups at home: have windows open and fans blowing. The fumes can be pretty dangerous. I made mine in a toaster oven stuck outside.

Now that the safety tip’s out of the way–the review was sublime. Or subyellowgreen.

Speaking of the color combinations, the first color in the name is kind of a modifier. Orange Red is red with a bit of orange in it. I meditated on the naming scheme often as a child. Crayola should just use names like Greenish Blue. That’d cause less confusion.

Posted by devi @ 08/02/2004 7:37 PM EDT

Wow… just… wow.  This deal and that review of the Troll movie just make me think that you are truly fucked up in an absolutely beautiful way.  God bless you, sir!  With men like you on guard, our nation is safe.

-Adam White

Posted by Adam White @ 08/02/2004 7:59 PM EDT

I’m waiting to find out if the box contains "Flesh".

Posted by Joe in OH @ 08/02/2004 8:05 PM EDT

do real people even have that much articulation?

Posted by colin eff @ 08/02/2004 8:45 PM EDT

Great Article! Very funny stuff!

Spider-Man rules the land of crayons with a hard iron purple crayon!

Posted by Wisconsin Jones @ 08/02/2004 8:51 PM EDT

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! "violet is really purple." "violet blue, this is violet red. You are bother and sister…" "…your mother is a whore" HAH HA HA HA! I’m going to make a crayola based T shirt now.

Posted by Bitsy&Roary @ 08/02/2004 9:06 PM EDT

My Spiderman-crazed little sister has that figure. We all like putting him in girly poses and calling him "Spiderman(?)" We have weird hobbies.

Posted by Matt Garner @ 08/02/2004 11:57 PM EDT

Come time for cerulean I want to see a description so good that my brain grows cheese grater wings and flies away shredding my head to tiny little pices that midget men will then scoop up on crackers (Town House cLub Crackers) and feast upon for all eternity in Eternia with Kaiser Wilhelm.

Good work.

Posted by LUEshi @ 08/03/2004 1:15 AM EDT

please finish Chia Plot!
you’re killing me!

Posted by jrdawg @ 08/03/2004 2:17 AM EDT

God, when I was in the 3rd grade, midnight blue was my favorite color to use in my Transformers coloring book.  I almost sh*t a brick to see Spider Man giving this color a great endorsement.  BTW — that is one helluva posable Spiderman — it puts my Macross Valkyrie to shame.

Posted by Mebaman @ 08/03/2004 2:26 AM EDT

Looking through this was almost as exciting as my first time getting high.

ALMOST.

Posted by Dezzi @ 08/03/2004 3:38 AM EDT

I’m waiting for periwinkle! My all time favorite crayon name, but least used!  XD

Its just a funny name you know, like penis wrinkle!  ahaahahahhaha just couldnt resist!  and hilarity ensues…

Love the article Matt!

Posted by heeloyd @ 08/03/2004 5:13 AM EDT

Wow now I want that action figure…
Well nice article. (I had this huge problem with the silver gold and copper crayons I loved them I used them more then I really should have… Now thinking about those drawings they would put a pimp to shame.)

Posted by Geek @ 08/03/2004 5:39 AM EDT

Crap now I want crayons.

Posted by Geek @ 08/03/2004 5:39 AM EDT

Think of "Blue Green" in comic book terms.
Bat-Man is more of a man than a bat.
Man-Bat is more of a bat than a man.

Whatever comes first in the combo seems to be less than the next.

Posted by Aconite @ 08/03/2004 8:13 AM EDT

Place your bets: Will Matt finish parts 2 and 3 of this?

Posted by sdafgas @ 08/03/2004 8:24 AM EDT

I remember when I was in elementary there was a lot of colouring involved, so I asked my mommy for the 96 crayon box. I liked the flourescent colours the most but then I just stopped caring after elementary school. I used all those other colours in middle school and high school…after those flourescent had long been worn out. That’s right kiddies…colouring…in high school. It happens when you’re a moron like me and sign up for business electives where it consists of falling asleep and creating posters for such interesting topics as gross domestic product.  I never did use white.

Posted by Brillski @ 08/03/2004 8:27 AM EDT

I was always into "Tan" Crayola.

Hey, don’t beat me up or nothing, I didn’t say I LIKED it, I was just INTO it. There was something about it that kept me coming back and staring at it, and then scribbling great patches of it and staring at it even longer. In a school where even something as standard as red was rare, Tan was like finding an image of the turin shroud IN the turin shroud, IN a HAYSTACK. It was so weird. Tan, what even is that? Oh, I just for the first time ever realised it probably means tan as in skin tan…. SHUT UP, it was Tan, and it was unique. Sort of peanut-butter coloured. I remember commenting to a classmate that it "looks like sick", and they agreed. Tan.

Do they still do Tan? Review Tan for me, Spidey! Better yet, do that cool thing with the train.

Posted by Dave Bulmer @ 08/03/2004 11:41 AM EDT

GREAT ARTICLE! I applaud your ability to keep this site running well while working that new job at Nick. ^_^
I used to ponder the various crayon colors myself.
Anyway, I’m just glad we have so many colors so they’ll never run out of names for villages in Pokémon!

Anyway, I’m now thinking of doing a cover to one of my comic-books (see my website) entirely in crayon, what’s everyone think?

Posted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 08/03/2004 12:02 PM EDT

I saw a four-foot inflatable Hulk at the Expo carnival last night!  Little Brother is gonna want that one!  And I saw two versions of giant inflatable Spidey!  If I had a digital camera (and way better computer skills), I would send along pics.  On tonight’s menu: big corndogs and Indian tacos!

Posted by kingklash @ 08/03/2004 12:04 PM EDT

O yeah - and there WAS a use for white, even on white paper.

When I was 5, and the teacher asked the class to just do some drawing or something, I used to do The Adventures of Whitey.

Yeah yeah, try and ignore the name. The premise: Whitey is a scribble of white crayon who is sad, because white is a rubbish colour. Then, in a series of adventures, he turns a different colour - say, orange. But then he turns back! And then he changes colour again to something else!

Yep, working along the same lines as that thing where you colour-in a whole page, then scribble black over it, then use a screw to scratch away the black and make rainbow-coloured drawings, Crayola colours could be used to obscure other Crayola colours. Even white was strong enough to cover up many colours. And the Adventures of Whitey were born.

My teacher didn’t share my enthusiasm, and never understood when I tried to explain that I hadn’t just scribbled all over a page again - it was Whitey.

Posted by Dave Bulmer Again @ 08/03/2004 12:10 PM EDT

that is the most awesome review ever!

Posted by chirs @ 08/03/2004 12:12 PM EDT

Am I cyncial in thinking that this will burn out and die before we reach part three? Not that I like citing precedents, but…

Xmas 02
Cobra chia pet adventures

Say thee nay!

Posted by s0larman @ 08/03/2004 12:12 PM EDT

bahahahaha, that was an awesome article.  I love your website so much, thanks for all the great articles!

Posted by bri @ 08/03/2004 12:35 PM EDT

My mom bought be Crayola’s "Big Box" of 64 colors back in the day. It was like God created a store version of the Holy fucking Grail.

THen I somehow wasted them all drawing scribbles in my Transformer coloring book.

Posted by marril159 @ 08/03/2004 12:37 PM EDT

Great review and creative. But skip the next two installments breifly and hit us with a review of DOOM3!!!!

Posted by FullStop @ 08/03/2004 12:39 PM EDT

Were you thinking of me when you did this one, Matt? How sweet! I <3 you too. ;)

In all seriousness, excellent stuff, guy. Hope that job’s treating you well!

Posted by Wes @ 08/03/2004 12:52 PM EDT

Hell has frozen over!!!!

The "Worst Witch", aka the worst film ever to be made is now on DVD…

Head over here to see Harry berate it:

http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=18085

The small dvd review is about 3/4 of the page down.

Posted by Wills @ 08/03/2004 1:27 PM EDT

I believe Spidey was flicking us of in the pic where he’s holding the color fuschia

Posted by J-Dog @ 08/03/2004 1:46 PM EDT

What about the burnts? Burnt Sienna, Burnt Orange… Shouldn’t it be "burned?" Ya buncha burnouts…

Posted by El Bang @ 08/03/2004 1:59 PM EDT

WASTE OF TYME, YOU LOSER, GET A LIFE, I MEAN ONLY LOSERS THING BLACK IS THE BEST WHENS ITS FOREST GREEN PWNS JOO 2 D4 PREMIUM MAXITUDE. D;UH

Posted by loki @ 08/03/2004 2:09 PM EDT

I tell you his hand is totally mangled that is holding the yellow crayon!!!!  Is Spiderman some kinda freaky contortionist??  its like he’s quintuple jointed…

Posted by phunqsauce @ 08/03/2004 2:09 PM EDT

CRAYON’D!!

Posted by kingklash @ 08/03/2004 2:22 PM EDT

Holy crap - great figure, but man, Spidey’s fingers are gruesome.  Way too "articulated", and yes, they do look like "guts".  Compelled just to stare at ‘em.

Okay, Matt, after all of this time, I do not remember if you ever covered "The Stuff".  Given the amount of coverage for the Ghoulies and for Critters, I’m sure you’ve done "The Stuff".

If you have, please bring it back.  If not, you gotta do this 80’s masterpiece.  This was the movie where my friend quoted, while watching, "Here’s some bubbling white goop on the ground.  I better eat it!".

Posted by DragonJay @ 08/03/2004 2:48 PM EDT

Crayons were something we always had but we didn’t do a lot of coloring. Like, I’d color in Cinderella’s shoes or give Barbie a Hitler moustache and that was it.

That said, I do have fond memories of "scented" crayons when they came out. Yes, I drew pictures of deodorant and made adverts. I wish I were making that up.

There was also a big contest where Crayola urged children to write in and "Name the New Colors". I believe this is where "Razzmatazz" came from.

Posted by Jess @ 08/03/2004 2:57 PM EDT

I hope Silver and Gold make it into the next review.

And I never understood the rationale behind the White crayon either. In every box of crayons I owned the White one always remained unused.

Posted by 4thDown @ 08/03/2004 3:20 PM EDT

"Spider-Man rules the land of crayons with a hard iron purple crayon!"

scan that quickly. The "ir" disappears and we learn spidey’s true love for crayons

Posted by g @ 08/03/2004 3:27 PM EDT

running out of ideas..eh, matt?

Posted by wels @ 08/03/2004 3:34 PM EDT

It takes pure boredom, and pure genius to do that, nice work man.

Posted by Casey @ 08/03/2004 3:40 PM EDT

Wait till Matt uses the Aunt May figure with 1001 points of articulation to review Gelly Roll Pens.

Posted by Dik Fishman @ 08/03/2004 4:23 PM EDT

The History of "Flesh":
1) 1950’s: Widely accepted and sanctioned as the only color kids should consider flesh tone.
2) 1960’s: Renamed Peach, to counter the ensuing sexual revolution due to the subconscious effect of the word "flesh."
3)1970’s: renamed Honkie, to help the term catch on. Unfortunately, term became a derogatory noun instead of an complimentary adjective.
4) 1980’s: renamed flesh, when sexual revolution sanctioned.
5) 1990’s: renamed Euro-American, when political correctness ruined it for everybody.
6) 2000’s: renamed "Minority Caucasian" after the Movie Minority Report.

Posted by El Bang @ 08/03/2004 4:32 PM EDT

I love it spidey, I love it!
Wait..are you that spider-bum everyones talking about..or the real thing…..
::grabs a bat::

Posted by Sarah @ 08/03/2004 6:07 PM EDT

We left a Barbie and some crayons in a plastic shoebox sitting in the back window of the car one summer day. Suffice it to say, Barb didn’t fare so well. Melted crayons everywhere. From then on, she was referred to as Battered Barbie. The crayons dyed her skin to look bruised. Crayons rock.

Posted by Peg @ 08/03/2004 6:35 PM EDT

I dunno I also liked the black construction paper. You throw some bright colours on it (inclding white) and you get a cool space-agey look

Posted by Tornado @ 08/03/2004 6:36 PM EDT

This was an awesome article, takes me back to the early action figure article days.  My mom has a shitload of crayons from when she was little and there are a few Flesh flavored ones in there.  They should make a whole box of just race flavored crayons, except they would all be various shades of brown…how many shades does one need?  Maybe we should ask God that question…

I think Optimus Prime is now articulate enough to do a review, but that might be to expensive for Matt to pick up. I had to use my birthday present a few months ahead of time to score mine.  He can give people the finger which is pretty damn cool!  But he can’t look like he’s jerking off like Spidey does. :(

Posted by kidneyboy @ 08/03/2004 6:45 PM EDT

Black paper is also good for those extra pieces of chalk you might have lying around. Esp if you have chalk and no chalkboard.

Posted by trajeal @ 08/03/2004 7:10 PM EDT

Kidneyboy, I do beleive they make a whole box(small though) of race flavored crayons since I saw a box once in my high school art. But it may be only available through art catalong given to teachers or possible Micheal’s: Art & Craft stores.

Update: A few days ago, I post a comment on the blog, saying that green, mean Alein Fruit Monster was all the suddenly change color (yellow) and became nice. For those who don’t beleieve me, today, I recently saw a new Fruit Loops commerical which the monster keep eating and eating Fruit Loops and poof*, change color and surprise* created new Alien Fruit Berry Fruit Loops. Tocan Sam never gets a decent villion, huh :)

Posted by Beta-Theta @ 08/03/2004 7:15 PM EDT

You know what would really rock? That Spider-Man action figure, EQUIPPED WITH HULK HANDS! It would kick ass so much that I think it could even fight a dinosaur.

Don’t look at me like that. The article’s made me slip back into my crayon-sniffing addiction…

Posted by Snot Man @ 08/03/2004 7:19 PM EDT

For those who have or going to have (Matt) the Fruit Loops PVC figures: Go to this link right at the bottom and print out the "Fruit Loops Land Scene," to act out your favorite scene from the commerical (or something more evil, but who care). 

http://www.frootloops.com/prom...tions/flultimate/Chapter3.html

Posted by Beta-Theta @ 08/03/2004 7:34 PM EDT

Razzamatazz is supposed to sound like raspberry, with a happy twist. (…I assume)

Posted by spring_sprite @ 08/03/2004 8:33 PM EDT

i like crayons…i like to draw and color things…im no different then any1 else.

Posted by the jumping Mario on the left side of the post @ 08/03/2004 9:23 PM EDT

everybody has heard of taupe. geez. the neons were always my favorite although i didn’t like using them. i wanted them remain mint.

Posted by matty g @ 08/03/2004 9:41 PM EDT

oh and raw umber was sweet. some of the colors now are just pointless.

Posted by matty g @ 08/03/2004 9:42 PM EDT

Nice review on the crayons, though I could never really find a use for much more than the basic 8 or so (guess I’m boring).  Can’t wait till you get to Macaroni and Cheese.  Anyway, sorry to go off subject, but something has been bugging me.  I remember reading someones comment on dunkaroos a few days back and those brought back my memories of another snack inspired by all things down under, koala yummies.  Am I the only one who remembers those?  I’m eating this dogfood with strawberry filling called Hello Panda that I picked up at Big Lots (and made by Meiji too, so you know it can’t be too great) and though I remember koala yummies I can’t quite recall if they had the same premise as this dogfood I’m subjecting myself to right now.  Anybody know?  Thanks for bringing back my memories of all things I forgot for years and years Matt, and keep up the great work (between working at Nick of course)

Posted by sailor moon @ 08/03/2004 10:03 PM EDT

Forgot to mention, that figure is articulated to the point that it’s inhuman.  I bet even contortionists can’t do the shit that spidey can pull off.  Maybe he stuffs himself into boxes on the side to make a little extra cash?

Posted by sailor moon @ 08/03/2004 10:07 PM EDT

YES! I love crayons. And over-articulated action figures!

Posted by Walks @ 08/03/2004 10:13 PM EDT

That Spidey is down to, like, $11.00 or so at Target.

They’ve already started clearancing their Spider-Man 2 crap.

Posted by Pete @ 08/03/2004 10:13 PM EDT

Be sure to check out bondo’s post in the Fruit Loops thread. He/She was the editor for those commercials.

Posted by ME @ 08/03/2004 10:54 PM EDT

Hi friend send this link you can see more of Spider news
http://www.panamaparties.com/index.php

Posted by Spider Net @ 08/03/2004 11:20 PM EDT

Classic X-E man! Action figure stills as funny as always.

Any more He-man stuff coming our way, I’ve got a hankering for X-E staples.

Posted by Combat_Mike @ 08/03/2004 11:25 PM EDT

In kindergarten, our teacheer would have us use the white crayon to draw snowflakes on white paper then have us go over it with dark blue watercolors.

I am left wondering how much of this site was drug inspired…..

Posted by The King of Dinosaurs @ 08/04/2004 2:53 AM EDT

How does Spidey swing so deftly after his fingers were evidently caught in the Spider-car’s door.  37 times.

I fell arthritic just looking at them.

Posted by GLS @ 08/04/2004 9:08 AM EDT

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISA...5&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

Posted by FOO @ 08/04/2004 11:09 AM EDT

How about Spidey vs Unicron to see who can flip the bird fastest?  Best of 999.

Posted by kingklash with 2 points of articulation @ 08/04/2004 11:54 AM EDT

How many twist ties did Spidey need to stay in his box, cuz I rememeber Unicron requring an ungodly 27.

On the white crayon debate, I must once again reference Willy Beamish (am I the only one here who’s played that game???) You can find a very helpful use for your white crayon in the game. You write "HALL PASS" on a block of wood with a ring through it (which according to the narriator, Willy constructed in shop class, but doesn’t know why), and use it to sneak outta detention. The gym teacher who stops you in the hall is all, "This hall pass looks mightly pecular, Beamish. I guess its a new one. You can go now." Willy also has a red Crayola crayon (called Burnt Crimson, BTW. Is that in your box, Matt?), and if you use that to make your faux hall pass, you get busted. "Why you little trouble maker! This hall pass is faker than a $3 bill! Principal’s office NOW!!!"

I wish I could play that game again. I made it all the way to the last area, but could never finish it.

Posted by A-wel Cruiz @ 08/04/2004 12:45 PM EDT

that’s just too cute. Livid Tangerine, yay!  you’ve tempted me to go out take mini-HeroClix Spidey down from its place of honor atop my monitor and get posable one.  999 points of articulation?  gotta admit, kinda rolls off the tongue. X3

Posted by trickster_brat @ 08/04/2004 12:54 PM EDT

http://www.strangeco.com/Features/Uglydolls.html
"So what’s with the PlayStation hook up? It’s actually not an Uglydoll game, but a collaboration between David Horvath, Sony Computer Entertainment and Interlink. Created by the same team who put together Parappa, the game will be an action title and will involve a new way of using the PS2 controller. It is being developed to share an affinity with designer toy culture, as a media crossover between gaming and figure collecting. Sony has also decided to change the status from a Japan-only release to a worldwide title, so expect to be hearing about the game soon."

Posted by ME @ 08/04/2004 1:56 PM EDT

Does anyone remember "Captain N: The Games Master" or the Zelda cartoons?

Or, even better, Where’s Wally Cartoons, or the Super Mario Cartoon?

Posted by Guy Incognito @ 08/04/2004 4:38 PM EDT

Captain N
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/562.html
Zelda
http://users.belgacom.net/bn779097/Zelda%20cartoon.mpeg
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/328.html
Super Mario
http://users.belgacom.net/bn776381/Super_Mario_Bros.wmv
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/53.html
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/544.html
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0839/

Posted by ME @ 08/04/2004 4:51 PM EDT

A-wek Cruiz-
I played it what was up with the red crayon over the white thing on the hall pass… I personally liked throwing the frog in his sisters bath tub I guess that makes me a pervert (Or am I thinking of another game)

Posted by Geek @ 08/04/2004 6:46 PM EDT

Matt, I know you’re a busy guy now but I was looking forward to a review of "No Hold Barred" when you bought it 2 years ago, and I’m still salivating.

Posted by T.J. @ 08/04/2004 10:25 PM EDT

Taupe taupe taupe… Blah. Brown is brown. Taupe is like a word you see on packages of panty hose. It doesn’t belong in a box of pencils!

Do you pronounce it like tawp or tope? I just don’t know…

I used to eat crayons when I was a kid. They all seem to have a unique flavor…

Posted by Adrastia @ 08/04/2004 10:27 PM EDT

That was some funny shiznit and great writing. Thanks! I had to link to ya! Guess I’ll have to keep coming back so I know when parts II and III are posted ;-)

Posted by nefarious @ 08/04/2004 10:30 PM EDT

Did anyone ever have Sargent brand crayons? they always seemed a little smoother than Crayola, but we always had Crayola and I had to go to my babysitters house to get to use them.

Posted by kidneyboy @ 08/04/2004 10:54 PM EDT

Copper just blows my tits off, bang drop it.

Posted by Whooore @ 08/04/2004 11:30 PM EDT

Oh, Holy Crap, you are beautiful..
Spidey is a really good articulated model and the crayola things that you have done with him are pure unadulterated fucking genius. 

Thank you from the bottom of my fat middleaged, partied out Heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Sheryl @ 08/05/2004 1:47 AM EDT

Whoa.

Posted by Janlibo @ 08/05/2004 2:29 AM EDT

hummm….running out of ideas i see

Posted by Wino @ 08/05/2004 2:47 AM EDT

I laughed.
I cried
I think i peed my pants.:P

Posted by ray ray @ 08/05/2004 4:40 AM EDT

AMAZING FUN FACT: "Taupe" is french for "mole"! Amazing, isn’t it?!

Posted by Snot Man @ 08/05/2004 9:28 AM EDT

That is probably the funniest thing I’ve seen/read in a long time!

Posted by UnoChild @ 08/05/2004 10:21 AM EDT

This is one of the mosr delightful wastes of time I have seen

Posted by Real Person @ 08/05/2004 10:23 AM EDT

This is one of the most delightful wastes of time since time wasting began

Posted by Real Person @ 08/05/2004 10:24 AM EDT

Funniest damn thing I read in a while — looking forward to when he finds the dreaded "Sienna" crayon!

Posted by X Fan @ 08/05/2004 10:49 AM EDT

i’ll forgive you for taking three days to post part 2 of a 3 part series if you finish archives, it’s only been like, forever, plug.

Posted by lil_sac @ 08/05/2004 11:00 AM EDT

Excellent pics of Spidey! Very funny article….here in Canada we had amazing marker sets based on the cartoon series, "The Raccoons" that would change colors and stuff.  Plus, every new box of markers you bought would CONNECT to your other boxes, making GIANT BOXES OF MARKERS! Man, that was the stuff. Crayons are cool too, of course.

Posted by Muppet Baby @ 08/05/2004 12:52 PM EDT

Geek-you’re thinking of the right game. And you throw your frog in the tub to get the key to your game system back from your sister. You can also steal her diary and blackmail the key from her (or trade it for a rare baseball card later). I still remember the entries:

"May 12th: Cliff is so tender and loving. And his pants are so tight! May 16th: We kissed so long, I though I was gonna get lockjaw."

Christ, I’m a nerd! I haven’t played that game in years and I remember more of it then I should. I remember the frog’s name was "Horny". I remember the babysitter was a bat and the fork moved itself across the plate of mac & cheese. I still remember this discription of the bathroom closet:

"Last week, Gordon bought Willy his own tool box. Three days ago, Willy nailed the closet door shut. Two days ago, Gordon took the tool box back to the store."

Somebody please help me!

Posted by A-wel Cruiz @ 08/05/2004 1:13 PM EDT

This article makes me want to go find crayons and color stuff.

Posted by El Starko @ 08/05/2004 2:51 PM EDT

Crayola Crayons Yeah!! Great Article and Cool giant Action Figure.

Posted by Caylor @ 08/05/2004 6:31 PM EDT

Poor Spidey’s sunk low to review crayons. He should be drowning in enough money to take a jab at Prismacolors! Bwagh!

… I just hate crayons. The waxiness ruined so many pictures of the childhood dream. And they had to kill Timberwolf Grey. Sniffle.

I have a dragon Spidey’d like to meet! Not as complex, but, for a dragon…

Posted by Bluetail @ 08/05/2004 10:08 PM EDT

sac is right
where’s archives?
what give?
sheesh

Posted by sara sara @ 08/05/2004 10:35 PM EDT

sac is right
where’s archives?
what give?
sheesh

Posted by sara sara @ 08/05/2004 10:35 PM EDT

sorry

Posted by sara sara @ 08/05/2004 10:36 PM EDT

Matt,great article, but I have to agree.
Archives….wtf?

Posted by crayon#97 @ 08/05/2004 10:38 PM EDT

I stumbled across your site a week or so ago, and I must say it is utterly amazing.  I was laughing quite a bit while reading the crayon article.  Keep up the good work!

Posted by Carleton @ 08/05/2004 11:54 PM EDT

That "Y" in the black crayon caption reminds me of the purple cowboy muppet on Sesame Street teaching a bar full of uglies how to draw a Y.

Posted by Hork @ 08/06/2004 1:38 AM EDT

Holy crap this was funny as hell, good job! excellent concept.

Posted by Zephyer @ 08/06/2004 2:29 AM EDT

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Posted by LUEshi @ 08/06/2004 2:48 AM EDT

I agree… what the hell is razzmatazz? My son thinks he is Spiderman, so we liked your creation over at my house.

Posted by CealKiss @ 08/06/2004 2:56 AM EDT

I agree… what the hell is razzmatazz? My son thinks he is Spiderman, so we liked your creation over at my house.

Posted by CealKiss @ 08/06/2004 2:56 AM EDT

i <3 SPIDEY! neways, i've always loved to color. crayola crayons surpass all other crayons on every level. why is it that the world doesn't understand that the road to happiness is through coloring with spiderman?!?!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!??!!??!!

Posted by Dawn @ 08/06/2004 11:02 AM EDT

SPIDER-MAN!  MARRY ME!  I’VE LOVED YOU ALWAYS, EVEN DURING THE CLONE SAGA!

Posted by L. Cully @ 08/06/2004 12:47 PM EDT

Ah…Spiderman and Crayons…almost my two fave things ever…almost.  Great article, but then all of them are!!  (btw, first time posting here) Matt, your work simply amazes me…and makes me cry tears of laughter!  Thanks man..you truely are the rocker of socks! 

Koala Yummies!  I love those!  Still eat them….you can find them at any Japanese food market…though I’m not sure they are call Koala Yummies…

Posted by Princess Peach @ 08/06/2004 1:00 PM EDT

I just have to ask this simple question - How bored do you have to be?

Posted by Lynne @ 08/06/2004 2:55 PM EDT

My lord, this seems like the start of one of the greatest and long overdue reviews of Crayola crayons! I think it may be the only one!

Will you do review the other inferior crayon products on the market spidey? Such as Alex Crayons, generic crayons… heck…

Spidey, you are so articulate that I want to see you also review other products, soaps, softdrinks, sushi packets in deli’s, vegetables, candy… no lets get more exotic, BEADS, Toothpaste for kids, socks, belly button lint, pizza! HUZZAH, Spidey you can do it all!

-Your greatest fan!!

Posted by Daigoji @ UGO @ 08/06/2004 5:01 PM EDT

I remember razzamatazz first coming out. Crayola had some name a crayon contest and the winner got their color name in boxes of crayons. For a while they had special edition boxes with some of the finalist people’s crayons in the boxes too and had their names on their crayon. But razzamatazz was the winner and it now plagues all crayola crayon boxes for all eternity. Wonderful

Posted by Matt9 @ 08/06/2004 5:59 PM EDT

The ink is black. The page is white. Together we learn that Spidey’s tight!  You rock my world, you wascally webbed wonder!

(cue: "Color My World" by Chicago)

Posted by Dawn @ 08/06/2004 11:13 PM EDT

–>> ..my favourite crayon is ‘Corn’

Posted by ~tOkK @ 08/07/2004 6:01 AM EDT

Where can i get such an awesome spidy action figure?

Posted by Ali @ 08/07/2004 9:34 AM EDT

It figures some cracka ass cracka like Spider-man would pick a wack color instead of the black color for his favorite skin tone.

R.I.P. Rick James

Posted by Theodore Long @ 08/07/2004 9:46 AM EDT

is Rick James really dead?  I thought that was a joke.
I’M RICK JAMES BITCH!!!!!!

Posted by charlie murphy @ 08/07/2004 12:00 PM EDT

Is there a crayola crayon named mustard?! humm what a cool crayon that would be then they could have other yellows like dejon mustard and mayo mustard. DAM WE COULD HAVE ALL THE CONDIMENTS! ketchup… relish, man what a cool box of crayons that would be. This artical helped me wast time and really apritiate crayons.. mybe I could be the new crayola kid… becouse of my condoment colors! well I am out PEACE.. great review…

Posted by Mustartd... @ 08/07/2004 12:05 PM EDT

Me again. hey check it out!  http://crayola.com/

Posted by mustard.... @ 08/07/2004 12:09 PM EDT

Ahem! Even though this fine article, of pure genius is only 1 third done with its legacy, you better leave some room in them for ‘Yellow Brown’ (yes a actual color) becuase, well just listen to the name. I know I wanna see Spidey review it. Don’t you?

Posted by Purple People Eater @ 08/07/2004 12:44 PM EDT

Also, I would like to thank you, Spidey, for having a crush on somebody named Mary-Jane. My first love was a little friend I like to call Ms. Meth. She was always there when I needed her. *sigh* Good times…

Posted by Purple People Eater @ 08/07/2004 12:50 PM EDT

However, one thing that concerns me is… what if a villian walked in on you holding a pink crayon, I mean, things will be assumed, rumors will be spread and in the end, none of the villians will respect you. Watch your back Spidey.

Posted by Purple People Eater @ 08/07/2004 12:53 PM EDT

Loved it….. but……brown is just wrooong… spidey is perfect.. he never goes to the washroom :P

Posted by AlterMind @ 08/08/2004 3:43 AM EDT

Oh my god, funniest thing done with any action figure I have ever seen. Bravo (clapping sound)

Posted by Brother Grimm @ 08/08/2004 5:40 AM EDT

HEY Spidey… is your spidey sense tingling???

Coz ive heard on the grape vine that the cast of star-wars is going to copy you, giving their opinions of "generic felt tip pen" colors!!!!

Watch your back man!

Posted by Sir Gordon Bog-Brush VI @ 08/08/2004 11:40 AM EDT

far out spidey, far out!!

Posted by cibie @ 08/08/2004 1:27 PM EDT

Spidey, you kept me entertained, that means you rock my socks…hmmm ::stares down:: not wearing socks…maybe your rocked me out of my socks? Dunno, can’t wait for the rest though. ::wanders off to find socks::

Posted by FeyMeggan @ 08/09/2004 2:01 AM EDT

What about gold? Does that not get a say? Gold was the cause of the Reception Class Table Wars back in my day! We (being red table) used to steal the blue table’s gold crayon and then they would steal it back. ahh memories.

This site is the biz. It rocks. I like it much.

Posted by BigMac @ 08/09/2004 1:08 PM EDT

Thank you Spidey for showing us how much the black crayon rules.

Posted by Sheldo @ 08/09/2004 10:48 PM EDT

Review the rest!@#

Posted by manda @ 08/10/2004 1:48 AM EDT

Spideytastic!

Posted by John @ 08/10/2004 6:10 AM EDT

Give me more colors, Spidy!!
I can’t wait to see! (^v^)/

Posted by brody @ 08/10/2004 9:06 AM EDT

i officially love you… hahaha.. this shit was funny… keep up the good work…

Posted by nitebeat @ 08/10/2004 1:56 PM EDT

Wow. You’re my idol now.

Posted by Judy @ 08/10/2004 4:04 PM EDT

Fcuking great! Want the rest of them. Noooooooooow!!

Posted by Kelthar @ 08/11/2004 6:17 AM EDT

LOL great page, i dont think spider man really loves crayons though :D

Posted by ben @ 08/11/2004 6:48 AM EDT

ROTFLMAO!

Posted by Tommy @ 08/11/2004 6:58 AM EDT

Crayons are neat.

Posted by cursive @ 08/11/2004 7:56 AM EDT

that was the most gayest shit in all the gay.

Posted by SHAWN LEE FROM LRHARDOCREE @ 08/11/2004 12:59 PM EDT

That was fookin funny! Hurry with next part!

Posted by Moorsey @ 08/11/2004 1:31 PM EDT

LMAO!!  What a great break from work.  Bring on parts 2 & 3!!!

Posted by Amanda @ 08/11/2004 2:15 PM EDT

LMAO!!  What a great break from work.  Bring on parts 2 & 3!!!

Posted by Amanda @ 08/11/2004 2:15 PM EDT

LoL, wonderful, GOD SMACKING GLORIOS!!

Posted by E3riz @ 08/11/2004 2:48 PM EDT

you’re a pimp

Posted by straydog @ 08/11/2004 3:07 PM EDT

This is excellent! Haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Looking forward to the next part.

Posted by Robin G @ 08/11/2004 4:29 PM EDT

AWESOME! I’m showing this to all my friends! So when are you gonna finish it? I hope soon! You rock dude! (or girl. XD)

Posted by Goten0040 (Liz) @ 08/11/2004 6:33 PM EDT

Proper copper is good for poos!

Posted by louisa @ 08/12/2004 5:29 AM EDT

Spidey reviewing crayons is teh best.

Posted by giant_squid @ 08/12/2004 9:31 AM EDT

i don’t know how i ever formed any type of opinion on art and colours without this review.

i love it!

Posted by salem s. @ 08/12/2004 1:18 PM EDT

Hmmm…you say that spidey is only $15 at Walmart??  That means he’s probably only $9.99 at Superstore!  Spidey must review more.  He’s #1 in my book!

Posted by jball@scouts.ca @ 08/12/2004 6:55 PM EDT

Someone has way too much fuckin’ time on their Spidey hands. Good shit though!

Posted by Count Bloodlust @ 08/12/2004 7:27 PM EDT

I love his reviews a lot. OH HO!

Posted by OMFWTFCOOL!!!!111 @ 08/12/2004 8:42 PM EDT

Awesome job there Spidey!!!!  Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!

Posted by Catrina @ 08/12/2004 11:48 PM EDT

I thought that was the greatest thing ever and i cant want for the rest of it to come out.

Posted by Semper FI 2013 @ 08/13/2004 10:38 AM EDT

kirby=this was totaly awsome it was so werid? idk i liked it in other words…….conner think he’s name os oric……. i don’t know y……………. i’m 13

lauren=its was very amuseing i’m 11

Conner(oric)=it waz goood and u were ulgy andd phat and i amm 7

Posted by kirby....lauren.....&conner(oric) @ 08/13/2004 8:01 PM EDT

spidys crayons is the best, i love it!!! as does ged

Posted by warby @ 08/14/2004 12:24 PM EDT

omg, im so stoned, that was the fuckin funniest thing ive ever seen… a comic strip could never beat that bit!

Posted by super nina @ 08/14/2004 6:33 PM EDT

i love you spider man
and all your beautiful colors

Posted by glenn @ 08/14/2004 7:18 PM EDT

Hahaha funniest thing ever

Posted by evan @ 08/14/2004 8:04 PM EDT

Fine work- there are those who should take note of your dedication to such an efficacious and outstanding endeavor.  Yes, here at the University of Michigan, we applaud you and look forward with all anticipation to next set of colors.

And like one of the comments above, we are crossing our fingers for raw umber… you know I think that it used to be called burnt umber.  Praise the gods for adjectives that do nothing at all to help you understand what color the damn thing is.

Posted by Vtrepomai @ 08/14/2004 10:27 PM EDT

LMAO! I loved it… thanks for the entertainment! Bring on part 3!!

Posted by Stef @ 08/15/2004 1:36 AM EDT

holly crap this thing is funny i almost pissed my self. more spidy and his cayon box more more

Posted by haida @ 08/15/2004 4:07 AM EDT

Spidey, I just wanted to thank you for your review thus far. I too have decided to use Jazzberry Jam as the new standard color for skin. I just don’t think you should knock the Vivid Tangerine, it is very tasty. MMM… does anyone have any extras they can send to me, I can no longer draw with mine. Keep up the good work Spidey!

Posted by Neuhauser @ 08/15/2004 6:03 PM EDT

And I, for one, welcome our Royal Purple overlords!

Posted by Name @ 09/19/2004 10:30 AM EDT

Top banana!

Not a crayola colour, but a comment on your warped genius!

Very funny, looking forward to the remaining colours to be reviewed.

Posted by quillism @ 09/21/2004 8:14 AM EDT

You are truly deranged, but you’ve cheered up a dull Tuesday.
I’m looking forward to Burnt Ochre…. Whaddya mean there’s no Burnt Ochre?

Posted by Liberty Belle @ 09/21/2004 10:32 AM EDT

You are truly deranged, but you’ve cheered up a dull Tuesday.
I’m looking forward to Burnt Ochre…. Whaddya mean there’s no Burnt Ochre?

Posted by Liberty Belle @ 09/21/2004 10:32 AM EDT

You are truly deranged, but you’ve cheered up a dull Tuesday.
I’m looking forward to Burnt Ochre…. Whaddya mean there’s no Burnt Ochre?

Posted by Liberty Belle @ 09/21/2004 10:32 AM EDT

That’s bloody genius. Spidey rules.

Posted by Debbie @ 09/22/2004 2:26 PM EDT

This kicks so much ass.  I can’t wait for the next two installments.    Spiderman is a natural at artist’s tool reviews.  Maybe Crayola will considering hiring him to do the naming of crayons from now on.

Posted by Jess Who Loves Crayons @ 09/23/2004 9:01 AM EDT

MAN SPIDEY YOU HAVE GROWN SO MUCH THAN YOU WERE IN THE MOVIE…AWESOME.

Posted by RAZZELDAZZEL @ 09/25/2004 2:47 PM EDT

MAN SPIDEY YOU HAVE GROWN SO MUCH THAN YOU WERE IN THE MOVIE…AWESOME.

Posted by RAZZELDAZZEL @ 09/25/2004 2:47 PM EDT

that ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF.

Posted by Laurel @ 09/28/2004 2:12 AM EDT

Razzmatazz. Noun. Slang.

1.A flashy action or display intended to bewilder, confuse, or deceive.
2. Ambiguous or evasive language; double talk.
2. Ebullient energy; vim.

Posted by TB Tabby @ 09/28/2004 3:24 AM EDT

Hi this is um… Brad G… AHA! FOOLED YOU! It’s the Green Goblin. ‘Sup bitch? You suck. I hate you. You think that just because you can shoot webs from your hands makes you special. Wait untill they make me with 800,000 points of artikooyoolashun— or however the fuck you spell it. And you think you can go and make some gay-ass thing with crayons… YOU STOLE MY CRAYONS FROM ME!!! THEY WERE MINE!!! Okay I have to go talk to Harry now… WE WILL MEET AGAIN!!!!

Posted by The Green Gob--- I mean, um... Brad G. @ 09/28/2004 6:01 PM EDT

Absolutely hilarious. This really made my day. I can’t wait until he finishes! Lol.

Posted by Calvin @ 09/29/2004 6:55 PM EDT

wow - you honestly made my day - that you for that :D

Posted by Gwen @ 09/29/2004 9:23 PM EDT

tidy, liked it a lot, fishy, ske ske ya flippin gee. im goin to drive the goo from my shoe. yeah! yeah! yeah you

Posted by kris @ 09/30/2004 4:53 PM EDT

If I were capable of pregnancy, I’d want Spidey to have my children for that.

Posted by weev @ 09/30/2004 11:50 PM EDT

Must have more!

Posted by Trista @ 10/01/2004 10:39 AM EDT

His fingers do look like guts!

I have to know what Spidey thinks of silver.

Posted by Sparky @ 10/01/2004 1:34 PM EDT

thank you for coming across my desktop today. i really needed the laughs!!!
it’s aburd, and i love it.
cheers!

Posted by Naomi @ 10/01/2004 3:20 PM EDT

aahahahahahhaa, hilarious!!! Very great work / photos / text.

Great Spidey figure, too!

Posted by elend_ @ 10/01/2004 3:38 PM EDT

So Goddarn funny. Kudos.

Posted by Ephe @ 10/02/2004 10:21 AM EDT

Damn… that’s some funny shit…

Posted by Valur @ 10/02/2004 5:01 PM EDT

u light up my day :)
good stuff bro

Posted by StrikerX - Sydney - Oz @ 10/02/2004 7:32 PM EDT

Spiderman and crayons rule my world. This is awesome.

Goddamn awesomeee~ X333

Posted by Pshuh @ 10/03/2004 2:51 AM EDT

Spiderman and crayons rule my world. This is awesome.

Goddamn awesomeee~ X333

Posted by Pshuh @ 10/03/2004 2:51 AM EDT

Spidey, your my hero!

Posted by Fa sho @ 10/04/2004 8:13 PM EDT

HAHAHAHAHAHA this is great…….:P

Posted by Chloe @ 10/04/2004 10:26 PM EDT

Ah, that was great.

Posted by The Cheat @ 10/05/2004 8:44 AM EDT

I does please me. Please me again Spidey! Happy to see all 12,000,000 points of are tick you lation are being put to goo duse.

Posted by jbx @ 10/05/2004 12:19 PM EDT

Can’t see the pictures after navy. other than that it is very cool.

Posted by Dennis @ 10/06/2004 12:43 PM EDT

Dear Spidey:

We look at your page at work — thank you for brightening our day!

Love,
Your Biggest Fans
XOX

Posted by The Girls Behind the Keys @ 10/08/2004 3:03 PM EDT

Dear Spidey:

We look at your page at work — thank you for brightening our day!

Love,
Your Biggest Fans
XOX

Posted by The Girls Behind the Keys @ 10/08/2004 3:04 PM EDT

Dear Spidey:

We look at your page at work — thank you for brightening our day!

Love,
Your Biggest Fans
XOX

Posted by The Girls Behind the Keys @ 10/08/2004 3:04 PM EDT

Keep it coming!

Posted by Me @ 10/10/2004 6:00 AM EDT

haha. very nice. :-D

i applaud you.

and i linked you in my AIM profile. you have offically made it.
congrats.

Posted by Becca @ 10/11/2004 3:35 PM EDT

Yes,good old spidey,he is such a brave creature and all,tis a pity though,you know when he falls into the bath tub he cannot get out! tee hee. He is a siily spidey after all!

Posted by ashoil @ 10/13/2004 1:34 AM EDT

BWAAAH!!!

Posted by Galvatron @ 10/14/2004 1:05 PM EDT

BWAAAH!!!

Posted by Galvatron @ 10/14/2004 1:06 PM EDT

Ahahaha, killer review!

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