The X-Entertainment Blog

07/29/2004: The Giant Fucking Chicken.

On ze way to work today, I saw a chicken. A giant fucking chicken. Standing absolutely still next to a man handing out take-out menus for the “Texas Rotisserie Grill,” I was awestruck with the sight of what appeared to be the largest inflatable chicken I’d ever seen. Through some natural instinct, I found myself drawn closer and closer to the cluck. When I got just close enough, occurred did an indisputably terrible omen: the chicken pecked at me. Really. It was a guy dressed in a chicken costume made to look like a simple inflatable doll, but as curious pedestrians approached, he’d peck at ‘em with the voracity of, well, a giant fucking chicken. There’s good ways to start the day, and bad ways to start the day. Being pecked at by a giant chicken is probably the best morning kickstart I’ve had in five years.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Who needs coffee in the morning when you get pecked by a chicken the size of Unicron? ; 0 )

How comes New Yorkers gets all the fun when it comes to chickens. I live in Kentucky, and don’t see a KFC worker dress as a chicken or Colonal Sanders. But, “Texas Rotisserie Grill" chicken probably taste bad compare to "Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Colonal Sanders rules!

hey ive seen one of those! it was a inflateable us army guy or a marine at six flags in new orleans, scared the crap out of me..

Inflatable chicken avenges the inflatable marine who always gets kicked by kids at the county fair…

This reminds me of the giant shrek that was at albertsons a few weeks back. Craziest thing I’ve ever seen! A 10 foot shrek statue on a wall of 12 packs of various sodas

In front of albertsons. He had his arms up in the Rawr position ("((<_<))")

They actually called it Texas Rotisserie Grill? Maybe I should make a restaurant called New Orleans Barbecue Pit.

Weren’t He-Man and his fellow Eternians disgusted at the thought of eating flesh, specifically chicken, in the movie? So what’s the deal with the old cartoon series? Was King Randor eating Tofurkey?

We had a small ma’-and-pa’ chicken place around where I live. On the roof there was a seven-foot chicken statue that looked like it cost more than the place itself.

Two days before they went out of business, somebody stole the seven-foot chicken statue.

Meaning, in somebody’s basemant nearby, someone has a giant chicken statue. Poor souls.

How do you know I didn’t just walk off on my own? They were gonna roast me up for the big closing ceremony!

Great, now I’m having flashbacks to Subservient Chicken. Chickens, especially giant chickens, should not wear garters. blorgh.

Man, that’s great. Too bad nothing like that ever happens here. Dammit, now I want some chicken. Is KFC open at 11:30pm? No…Hmmm..

Matt, just remember. NEVER! EVER! TAKE A COUPON FROM A GUY IN A CHICKEN SUIT…. It’s probably already past it’s date. Then you have to hunt him down and have an epoc battle with the fighting and the punching and the sticking the head in the copy machine while slamming the top down on it until it dies. It’s not a pretty sight.

chickens are evil, they have horrible meat, and are slowly hpnotizing the humans to believe that everythin tastes like them. IT’S NOT TRUE, SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!

Matt,
I think inflatable costumes are the new thing lately. I was at a Rocky Horror convention this past weekend here in NYC, and they not only had their own inflatable chicken costume for a special convention performance, but they also (and I definitely thought of you after seeing this!) a GIANT INFLATABLE KOOL AID MAN COSTUME!! Yes!! At some point while viewing the film, a giant Kool Aid man bursts into the theater!! What this had to do with the movie or any of the audience jokes I’m not sure but it was awesome!! It was like I was in one of those old Kool Aid commercials!! The red one himself was there!!!

Oh Yeah! Did Kool Aid Man bust through the wall? Man, I wish I could have been there for that. OH YEAH!

New York sounds scarier and scarier with each new description you bring me of it.

No fair! They’re supposed to wait until you attack them 3-36 times before they do that!

Blah Blah,
No, not through a wall, but through the doorway of the theater which was equally cool in my opinion. Funny thing was, unless you were sitting on that side of the theater and happened to look behind you you wouldn’t notice him otherwise. He made a very brief appearance, but a neato one nonetheless.

I loved pissing off the chickens in Link to the Past. After a while of beating the shit out of a chicken a whole swarm flew in and attacked you. You gotta love it!

Jeebus, the chickens are out for blood. Kill them all. They are mad at us for trying to avoid red meat and thinking they could substitute. Hmmm, I want some chicken nuggets!
*sees chicken out of corner of eye*
I mean, hamburger, hamburger.. yeah, tha… noooooooooo
*gets pecked to death by evil chicken*

Holy crap, ME, thanks. I’ve been dying to see that trailer ever since you posted those links awhile back. Howsabout a link to the HHGTTG trailer?

You’ve got all the luck Matt!
First street-corner Spidey,
and now the faux-inflatable chicken;
If only there were such colorful characters in my city, closest I’ve seen in a rather large pink pig stuffed animal (bigger than most 4 year old children) sitting outside an appliane store!

TA:WP will be fun, but HHGTTG has me feeling like a kid again. If you want to check out the earlier work of its filmmakers, Hammer and Tongs (a.k.a. Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith), then go here. The official movie blog has some cool stuff as well.

Sheesh. Not only does the situation Matt cited remind me of Family Guy, but so does the Kool Aid Man thing that Melissa Y. posted. Spooky.

So now I’ve got this imagine in my mind of the Chik-Fil-A cows in a gigantic, apocolyptic, fight to the finish with the fowl of Chicken Run. Man, that would make a damn cool movie.
"Eat Chicken!"
"No, Eat Cow!"
"I’ll Eat You!!!"
"Just you try it, four-legs."

(sigh) Man o manos, I had a rough night! We get a call ’round midnight, One of my cousins came home and found another cousin in her driveway in a pool of blood. She calls the police and he gets taken to the local hospital. Because he was beat up pretty badly, the police cordon off the area round the apartment. Meanwhile, the hospital does what they can and calls for a medi-flight to take the poor guy to Lawton for better treatment. that’s about the time my Ma gets the phone call. Being a very close-knit family, we’re soon on our way, Ma, Little Brother, Sis-In-Law, and myself. Down in Lawton, its us, one aunt and her daughter (the one who found the victim), her husband and baby. Another aunt (the mother of the victim), and her three daughters. the doc comes out and asks for the partent and a sibling, and Oldest Aunt, and her Oldest Daughter go in. the rest of us are getting antsy, having jus seen one of my uncles out of the hospital, and his first wife to the cemetary (long story). Then Oldest Aunt comes out and asks for Ma (she’s seemingly got the most sense out of all seven sibs). Soon Ma, and oldest Girl Cousin come out. "That’s not Him!" "!?" "It isn’t my Brother." "?!" "It’s some one else!" "!?!?" We got home at 4:00 in the morning. sigh.

Jeez, king, did you find out who the guy is? Where was your cousin, this whole time?

I went to see Bourne Supremacy last night. Very jerky and epileptic fitty. I will say, though, when we decide to get a new car, we’re going for the Russian Taxi. Those things hold up pretty well.

Koolaid Man probably busted through the wall Just as Professor Scott did in the movie…because they couldn’t afford a door.

I’m guessing you guys are waiting for a new article too. I don’t what else to say about chickens anymore, but lately when I when to the grocery store to get something to eat, in the fruit snacks aisle, General Mills came out with Care Bears Fruit Snack (sadly it has only three care bears). Hey, Matt, may be you can do a blog entry on these fruit snacks?

Or The Froot Loops ALIEN FRUIT MONSTER Fiasco, Part II." Now I heard that mean green Alien Fruit Monster is nice yellow Alien Fruit Monster, possible the effect of Fruit Loops on one mind, no.

The cousin was at his place, sleeping off a few beers due to his breakup with his boyfriend. Wasn’t until the next day he found out the whole story. I know just about everyone else thinks their family is a little nuts, but mine all lined up to get clocked in the noggin with a Xtra Xtreme Goofy Mallet. The vic was from a local family, but we can’t quite place him yet. One of those things where if we hear his nickname, we’ll go, "Ohhh, that guy!" At least, his life might have been saved thanks to my cousin’s bad eyesight and a face full of blood.

I don’t how it happened, but the lastest box of Fruit Loops (the one with the marshmallow) has the Alien Fruit Monster yellow and smiling. Something is obviously in Fruit Loops to turn Tocan Sam enemies into his best of friend.

I just watched my favorite song of all time set to Ranma footage! I’d say DVDA rules, but I wouldn’t want to be misinterpreted. Ew.
Thanks again, ME!

Thousands of years ago, I did battle with that very chicken, he was a super soldier for the chicken scietists and he slew many of my turkey brethren…… Whose the loser now chicken your foced to sell your soul to the namless masses.
ATHF quotes RAWK!!!

Post 75! Post and poultry both start with P-O, so does posy but that’s irrelavent

I went to an independent league baseball game recently (Bridgeport Bluefish) and they had these great inflatable costumes between innings called Zooperstars. They were animals dressed like sports stars (eg Roger CLAMens, Nomar GarciaPARROT, Harry CANARY). Click on my name to see…

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 29th, 2004 at 9:33 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.