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Dracula The Musical? Iced Teasers?

The next volume of 80s commercials won't be done till tomorrow night, hopefully, but here's a teaser -- an iced teaser. Yes, it's "Iced Teasers," a failed experiment from Nestea featuring goofy iced tea drink mixes with some extra zings of lemon, lime and orange. It's one of those products that was surely better in theory than on your tongue, but the commercial did a great job of making me want to eat raw limes. Click here to see it! Another dozen downloads are coming up in the next lot, including something about pro-wrestling and something about toothpaste.

So far so good with Nick. Love it. In the mornings I grab coffee at this little deli, and refuse to drink it anywhere else but that deli, so I can extend the time gazing with lust at a big "Dracula The Musical" sign across the street. I don't know the specifics of the play other than the fact that it doesn't open till August, but I vow to be at least within the first 6,700 people to see it after it debuts. The sign (a bunch of cheesy light bulbs form the text) reminds me of the sadly burned down "Castle Dracula" ride over in Wildwood, a place I dream about nightly, humming scary music in my sleep.

Ah, so let's get another survey topic going. It's been a while. Okay, disappointing movies. As in, what movies were you really, really excited to see but thoroughly disappointed by 'em after you did? I can name several million, but one of the more obvious candidates is American Psycho. I'm sure I'll remember the other millions later, but you go first.

Posted by Matt on 07/07/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 193 comments

trajeal-I wasn’t actually going to make a Corey Haim website. Maybe I would discuss him on a site of my own, but I’d never make him the core subject.

As far as The Ring goes, I prefer the original Japanese film and not that American remake that you guys are always talking about. I think the American version is simply America’s way of saying "It’s not good until WE make it."

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 11:29 AM


Say Matt, why don’t you get some guest writers or something for the time in which you will not be updating as much. I think it’d be a great opporunity for other writers to get some exposure. Furthermore, it would give the fans something to read while you’re away, even though it won’t the same as when you write it.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 11:34 AM


biggest disappointment of a movie – daredevil for sure. and now there’s actaully gonna be a sequel for that piece of horse manure? ugh.

in an attempt to get my own little survey going..hey guys, what would be your dream/fantasy/ideal x-e article? mine would be a video tour of matt’s apartment. oh the things we’re sure to be amazed by…

Chestnuts roasted by amneris @ 07/10/2004 11:44 AM


After reading three days worth of posts, here’s my three cents,

Michael Moorer= Douchebag

KING ARTHUR. Saw it last night. almost had me sleeping. a good hour of this movie is nap time material, with only the first and last half hour of pg-13 killing being anywhere NEAR what I expected.
The movie decided to show one possibility on how the "arthur" legend was born. Who gives a shit how it was born. I think if they would have stuck to the magic and mystery of what the legend is, this movie would fare much better, instead of being the Braveheart minus the gore remake it is. Bleh.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 07/10/2004 11:54 AM


Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
http://www.mtv.com/onair/castingcall/story.jhtml?id=1483868

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/10/2004 1:29 PM


amneris: "in an attempt to get my own little survey going..hey guys, what would be your dream/fantasy/ideal x-e article?"

If you don’t know my answer, you haven’t been here long, huh?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/10/2004 5:31 PM


How about Matt reviewing "Xanadu". The ultimate in 80′s cheese!

Chestnuts roasted by Joe in OH @ 07/10/2004 5:49 PM


Matt, can you please try and meet Butch Hartman (The guy who created the fairly oddparents and Danny Phantom) and get an interview with him for X-E? Also, even though you dislike the Fairly Oddparents, What do you think of Butch Hartman’s other show, Danny Phantom? Also, can you please do an article on the Bionicle toyline? Even though it aint 80s, its still; really cool (If you have no friggin clue what Bionicle is, go to BZ Power.com for more info).Anyway, good luck with your new job. Well, gotta go, bye .

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 07/10/2004 6:22 PM


Also, for the dissapointing flick thing, i’d say "Cheaper by the Dozen". THat dad was such a fucking a-hole when his kids needed him

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 07/10/2004 6:25 PM


I do not want Cleckmoon to get mad at me, but I have to point out that ‘Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron’ was actually produced by Dreamswork, not Disney.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 7:02 PM


Amazingly, I don’t think anyone mentioned this one (if you did, I applaud you), so I’ll put in my late $0.02:

The Cable Guy.

Man oh man oh man, what a waste of a conceptionaly sound idea.

Michael Moorer is a douchebag. Didn’t he lose to Tyson? Of course, most fighters of the 80′s lost to Tyson. Oh, I’m sorry, did you mean Michael Moore?

Chestnuts roasted by Left-wing Nutjob @ 07/10/2004 7:07 PM


A Disney’s movie(s), in my opinion, that fall short to my expectation was ‘Atlantis: The Lost Empire.’ It was so predictable and short.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 7:09 PM


And I also forgot to mention that the cool sub in the movie ‘Atlantis’blew up second later by a giant mechanical lobster. What a total rip-off. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 7:12 PM


If I may throw my hat into this, the biggest letdown for me was Meet The Parents. It just…wasn’t funny.

And to think that its on some of those "Funniest movies of all time" lists…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/11/2004 2:24 AM


Okay, that does it. I’m sick of this topic. Matt, when are you going to do something about your lack of updates lately. You don’t have to put up a new article, just do something so that we don’t have everyone talking about this same old topic.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/11/2004 2:30 AM


Well, I would like to bring this thread full circle. I am watching American Psycho on TV right now, and damn. This movie is a piece of shit. The dialog really sucks, and I don’t know about Bale as BaTman either. He kinda bothers me.

Nate, he said he would be busy with the new job, get off his back.Why don’t you list your fave Batmen in order?

I say Keaton, West, Kilmer, Clooney. Next?

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/11/2004 2:41 AM


Hey Trajeal, you are right about Mina Harker, that is the name of the heroine in Stoker’s novel.

As for disappointing movies, the most recent one that I can think of is Dodgeball. I was hoping for way more shots of people getting hit in the face with dodgeballs. For a movie called Dodgeball there was so not enough dodgeball!

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 07/11/2004 2:51 AM


I’m almost afraid to admit this but as I type I’m watching Royal Rumble. It’s without question one of the most homoerotic movies ever made but at present hour it’ll suffice. I should be electricuted for this act of shame.

Chestnuts roasted by Brillski @ 07/11/2004 3:21 AM


Y’all mention some good ones. Both Matrix sequels, and for me, even the original Matrix. But that’s probably because I didn’t see it until about 2 years after it came out. And at that point, everyone I knew had been squirting over it for so long that it couldn’t POSSIBLY live up.

Ditto on High Fidelity – it wasn’t horrible, but it had so much potential to be clever and witty and fun. Instead it was mostly John Cusack whining about his love life. And Daredevil! Argh!

We shall never speak of the Star Wars prequels again.

My biggest disappointment, though? Fight Club. Nobody ever agrees with me on this one, but I found it both annoying and predictable.

Chestnuts roasted by Stacy @ 07/11/2004 7:32 AM


Fans of Jim Henson’s fantasy films might want to look out for the straight-to-video release of "Mirrormask" from Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean:
http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=2613 http://www.geocities.com/mirrormaskmovie/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/11/2004 12:14 PM


Probot (Not to be confused with David Grohl’s heavy metal project) has gone overboard in animating action figures: http://www.probotproductions.com/home.htm

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/11/2004 1:57 PM


I love the Harry Potter books but had no desire to see the movies. After being repeatidly told that I *HAD* to see the first one, I gave in and was amazed to see a movie far worse than I expected. I love bad movies as much as good movies, yet this had managed to be awful without being comedically bad.

Redeaming qualities:

1. Daniel Radcliffe’s "acting" – Isn’t it great the way his blank stares are interrupted only by the occasional emotionlessly uttered line?

2. Special effect – Fluffy cracks me up. It doesn’t look a giant, three headed monster from heck, it looks like a dog sloppily enlarged on Microsoft Paint. Extra points regarding Fluffy go the "actors" feigning terror.

3. That scar – Dear "Harry Potter" makeup artists: I have a marker that isn’t dry. If you say the magic word, I’ll let you borrow it for your next multi-million dollar blockbuster. Your fans deserve the best.

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 07/11/2004 2:12 PM


The Avengers. Uma, Fienes, Connery, 80 million dollar spy movie. What could go wrong?

GOOD LORD!

Chestnuts roasted by Thejyav @ 07/11/2004 2:26 PM


"Mrs. Peel, we are needed!" Yeah, to try and explain what went wrong with the movie! I love the old show, but was extremely blindsided by the movie. Why, oh why?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/11/2004 3:17 PM


Yes, Dracula is going to be terrible (I’ve heard the score already), but two top-flight musical theatre babes, Melissa Errico and Kelli O’Hara, are rumored to have nude scenes.

Which means that I’ll be there first preview before it gets cut.

To be fair, there are many musical versions of it…exactly one of them is any good (not this one), and I say that with all sincerity, not just because its lyricist/librettist is a good friend of mine.

But nobody’s listening to this, I’m sure.

Also Matt, I have a friend at Nick – if you ever run into a guy named Gil Benbrook, tell him I say hi and I owe him an email.

Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 07/11/2004 8:48 PM


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