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80s Commercials, Volume 404040-ASKSK.

V8 has 70 calories.In a shocking twist, this week I start a new job at Nickelodeon writing commercials with their promo department -- a dream come true, at least for the next few weeks. If any of my stuff lands on television, I will tell you 400 times. It'll be a temporary thing at first; might be a month or two before I have Final Word. I'll tell you more about it later, but the gist is, don't expect X-E to explode with new articles for the first half of July. This being the kind of job I'd kill your parents for and all, it's going to take priority over everything else, including showers. But! I've set shit up for more easily produced articles during the course of this, like the latest one...

80s Commercials, Volume 404040-ASASK! Yes, ten more 80s commercials, reviewed, with video downloads. This lot includes such classics as the McDonald's McRib, Fun Fruits, Nerf Fencing and the Atari Lynx. We've had a lot of "new stuff" articles lately, so it seemed like a good time to head back to happyland. Speaking of which, the next feature is another volume of 80s commercials -- look for it on Wednesday or Thursday, time permitting. Thanks to Randy for the Ghostbusters Hi-C pic shown above. Juice enthusiasts got a free backpack or something. Anything to justify buying the hideous grape flavor. Hope everyone had a nice 4th...ours was boring.

Posted by Matt on 07/05/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 148 comments

When you’re president over there in NickLand, bring back DangerMouse.

"Penfold… shush."

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/05/2004 5:24 PM

Thanks for the well wishes, everyone. ALF is sort of like my co-worker now, and for this I am elated.

Dane: you hit the nail on the head, and I thank you for it…wasn’t sure it I’d get it across. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/05/2004 5:26 PM

I also had a surprisingly fun Fourth, considering I spent most of it working. I literally ran home after work, changed, and ran the two blocks to the Boardwalk, where I found out the fireworks weren’t for another hour and a half. I spent that hour buying an overpriced-but-worth-it root beer float and winning a Tenderheart Bear in the cranes near the Great White at Wild Wheels. Tenderheart dolls are rarer than dinosaurs on the boards – usually, you get Love-a-Lot or Share Bear – and I was thrilled to win him, especially since he was larger than average for a crane toy, too. We watched the truly spectactular fireworks together, than left during the finale to beat the crowds home and spent the rest of the night and early morning goofing around with a friend online. : 0 )

I only remember three of those commercials well, the most vivid being the Sunkist Fruit Snacks one. Who could forget that crazy shaking tree?

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/05/2004 5:31 PM

And, I forgot to mention…congradulations on the job, Matt! That’s awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/05/2004 5:34 PM

Congrats on the job Matt. Maybe now you can get Hey Dude back on the air? Just like one episode? I miss that show.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/05/2004 5:45 PM

wow, more good-luck-on-that-job wishes for you, Matt. though i must also damn you for that Ecto-Cooler picture… just when i had started to get over it and began to look less desperately for Tangergreenwhatever (that effing TEASE) while i’m at the store.

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 07/05/2004 5:53 PM

Congrats Matt, maybe ill watch nick a little more now that your on the team. I used to watch it like 24/7, but nowandays all I watch is a couple Nicktoons and Drake and Josh which is like the white version of Kenan and Kel a show I will always ALWAYS love.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 07/05/2004 6:05 PM

Thank you so much for the Anrde The Giant Hoonycombs commercial, i will enjoy this one for a while, my brother has told me all about that one.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Prime @ 07/05/2004 6:08 PM

Hey Matt i´m from Chile South America but i use to live in New Orleans i Was raised there my whole childhood i spent there and i remember these comercials they bring back great memories i´m 26 now and i have a little girl well i just wanted to ask you or anyone who sees this comment to e-mail me more 80´s comercial or if i can download some i mean i was a fanatic every saturday morning i woke up early just to see the cartoons and also the comercials well take care and i hope you respond as soon as possible
Best Regards
Rick
E-Mail: rdmc1803@yahoo.com
desdelunes@hotmail.com

Chestnuts roasted by Rickashade @ 07/05/2004 6:12 PM

I had the "honor" if you wish to say of going to elementary and middle school with the curly haired girl from the Honey Comb commercial. She was also in a Wendy’s kids club commercial around the same time. Needless to say a lot of kids were singing "Honeycomb’s big, yeah yeah yeah" at recess that year.

Chestnuts roasted by Lance @ 07/05/2004 6:32 PM

For godssakes people, he said he’d be writting commercials for them, not becomming president of the freakin’ network. As unlikely as it is, it’d be sweet if they’d let you use some of their old tapes for reviewing on the site though…

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/05/2004 6:39 PM

they should make him president, dammit.

~What’s Matt’s new job again??

~Uhhh, I don’t know.

~~SLIME on your mothafukkin head, beeyatch!!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/05/2004 6:52 PM

P.S.

People should still be aware that a giant Spongebob Squarepants has been reported as escaping from Bikini Bottom, and may be headed for your local Burger King. If spotted, do not attempt to apprehend this terrible beast, but try to keep his square ass up on the roof where it belongs.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/05/2004 6:54 PM

Damn, I thought I was the only one who fondly remembered that neato Halls commericial with the colorful lozenge tiles and such, and that corny but memorable tagline "the halls of medicine". Thanks for putting it up Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 07/05/2004 7:02 PM

RewolfJ, remember X-E is like a virus, vampire or a Jehovah’s Witness (No offense meant towards JW X-E readers, but please stop ringing my bell). Nick let Matt in and from this point on it is only a matter of time before he is in charge of Viacom itself. At that point he can trun VH1 Smooth (Their Jazz channel. Geez, Gremlins 2 predicted a lot) into the X-E Channel (It is easier to aquire a cable channel that already exists and change it than to start one from scratch; see TNN/Spike).

Here is an idea for theme music in the promos, Matt: http://www.keytarmusic.com/kaudio.htm It was posted in Fark’s Homestar thread in reference to Bub’s keytar skills.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/05/2004 7:12 PM

Actually screw Keytar, if Moog Cookbook is still together: http://hometown.aol.com/mellot/mcb.html http://zenandjuice.com/music/moog_cookbook/multimedia/index.html

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/05/2004 7:47 PM

congrats on the job! i don’t understand why you still haven’t been crowned king of the world yet, though. it’ll happen soon enough, i’m sure.

Chestnuts roasted by MysteryGuyCalvin @ 07/05/2004 7:47 PM

Matt, your site and contributions are golden. Pure gold.

Because of you I am able to experience nostalgia nirvana. Thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Crimson @ 07/05/2004 7:55 PM

Congrats on your new job Matt!

I couldn’t get the cereal, popeye, nerf, Halls, and McRib commercials to load. Something about the filter source couldn’t be located or something. The other commercials were fine.

I was watching an old WWE Superstars tape last night and there was a commercial for Lifesavers Fruit Juice in those little bottles that were the rage in the early to mid 90′s. Do you guys remember them?

I’m lucky that I got Nick GAS so I can watch old Nick gameshows. I think Double Dare 2000 gets an unfair bad rap.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/05/2004 8:22 PM

Man, the LYNX! That thing was fun while it lasted. Makes me want to take out the Turbo Grafix 16 I have sittin’ in the back of my closet! Fun article.

~Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 07/05/2004 9:05 PM

Oh, almost forgot, kudos and huzzahs on the new J-O-B, Matt! :) Just don’t let "the man" bring you down!

~This is one of my favorite parts of the tour. Say hello to our residents, Pedro and Inez. Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me?

Chestnuts roasted by Bang-Droppin' Mugzy. . . @ 07/05/2004 9:10 PM

ME, have you heard the Moog Cookbook remix of the Eel’s tune? I like it a lot. I much prefer the second album over the first. I don’t think they have done much in a while, too bad, eh?

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/05/2004 10:47 PM

I would just like to share with everyone… a video store in town was having a big sale and I got "The Wizard" for free. Grovel… grovel…

Chestnuts roasted by Kuribos Boots @ 07/05/2004 11:30 PM

kidneyboy, their version of The Eels’ "Novocaine for the Soul" is amazing. Yeah, they have both moved on:
http://www.moogmusic.com/newsarch.php?cat_id=26
http://music1.csudh.edu/Music/Alumni/Brian.html

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/05/2004 11:37 PM

I remember seeing that NERF fencing commercial as a kid, and even back then I remember thinking that the music was fucking stupid. And now that I’ve seen it again, I think that everything about that commercial is fucking stupid.

Thanks for the memories, Matt.

Kuribos Boots-Fuckin’ A man! Wish such luck came to me. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/05/2004 11:45 PM

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