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07/05/2004: 80s Commercials, Volume 404040-ASKSK.

V8 has 70 calories.In a shocking twist, this week I start a new job at Nickelodeon writing commercials with their promo department — a dream come true, at least for the next few weeks. If any of my stuff lands on television, I will tell you 400 times. It’ll be a temporary thing at first; might be a month or two before I have Final Word. I’ll tell you more about it later, but the gist is, don’t expect X-E to explode with new articles for the first half of July. This being the kind of job I’d kill your parents for and all, it’s going to take priority over everything else, including showers. But! I’ve set shit up for more easily produced articles during the course of this, like the latest one…

80s Commercials, Volume 404040-ASASK! Yes, ten more 80s commercials, reviewed, with video downloads. This lot includes such classics as the McDonald’s McRib, Fun Fruits, Nerf Fencing and the Atari Lynx. We’ve had a lot of “new stuff” articles lately, so it seemed like a good time to head back to happyland. Speaking of which, the next feature is another volume of 80s commercials — look for it on Wednesday or Thursday, time permitting. Thanks to Randy for the Ghostbusters Hi-C pic shown above. Juice enthusiasts got a free backpack or something. Anything to justify buying the hideous grape flavor. Hope everyone had a nice 4th…ours was boring.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 148 comments

cool comercials and i loved the firework article

Ghosted by Woodennikle @ 07/05/2004 12:15 PM EDT

The commercial section is one of the best on the site…keep it up!

Ghosted by Mr. King @ 07/05/2004 12:42 PM EDT

McRibs…those are almost as good as thos elittle biddy burgers. I think those were Burger King though. What were there names? Bitty Burgers? Burger Buddies? I don’t know…

Ghosted by Teh Travo @ 07/05/2004 12:44 PM EDT

If memory serves, "Burger Buddies." If memory serves, I ate them as a child and got violently ill.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/05/2004 12:46 PM EDT

Yea, I had that before a Mardi Gras parade one year….and since I live in Louisiana I proceeded to make sex with my cousins after.

Ghosted by Teh Travo @ 07/05/2004 12:50 PM EDT

At least you’re honest.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/05/2004 12:51 PM EDT

Oh man that honeycomb commercial was one of my absolute favorites when I was a kid and I’ve tried to remember the specifics many times. sweet.

Ghosted by Emmaaaaa @ 07/05/2004 12:51 PM EDT

A job at Nick? That kicks ass. Congrats!

Ghosted by marioshoku @ 07/05/2004 1:20 AM EDT

Good luck on your new job, Matt. Great article, as always, but what’s with the astroturf background? Am I missing something? (Probably. :P )

Kudos on the Elecman appearences, too, since I just got Mega Man Anniversary Collection a week ago (yeah, it kicks ass!).

Man, an article with two McD’s ads, and I don’t even mention…uh, I won’t go there.

Ghosted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/05/2004 1:23 AM EDT

Boy who changed into car? TEEN TURBO!!

Ghosted by Rayzak @ 07/05/2004 1:27 AM EDT

It’s the fifth already? weird.

Ghosted by hjgjdhj @ 07/05/2004 1:29 AM EDT

I was gunna make a lame joke about me misreading "com" as "corn", but instead I’ll congradulate you on that great news!

Ghosted by Piscez @ 07/05/2004 1:33 AM EDT

I love Mc Ribs. I hoard them when they are on sale. To me a Mc Rib tastes like one of those rib tv dinner patties and put it in a bun. I remember that old gremlins 2 ad with the puppet.

Ghosted by piachulover @ 07/05/2004 1:33 AM EDT

I had one hell of a 4th. My family all live near Indiana, the ass end of the American backbone. Fireworks of all kinds are legal there, and four guys (uncles, cousins, + my dad) all bought about $400 worth of the ka-boom stuff each. Our display lasted for two hours. My ears are ringing, I’m covered in black, charred crap, and I’m coughing up stuff that tastes like gunpowder, but it was great.

One of the 15 pound big ones my dad got was called Megatron 2. I got a kick out of the name. It had a label that said something like "For the Maxaminum ejoymant, face this side towareds specators". What it did was shoot about 300 golden, flaming, exploding rockets about 30 feet above my entire family’s head. In the true spirit of Megatron, it was trying to kill my family.

I have a video me me being chased by about 50 bottle rockets I’m going to post on my site when I get back home tomorrow night.

Ghosted by Rayzak @ 07/05/2004 1:44 AM EDT

Congrats and good luck with the new job Matt! Woohoo!

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 07/05/2004 1:49 AM EDT

It WAS Burger Buddies BTW. I remember them being stuck together in a line of 4. Meaning you could only buy a minimum of 4 burger buddies.

FYI- PoPs cereal is still on top for best toys. This month you get a neato spidey laser wristband. No need to send in cupons, it’s right there in the box!

Ghosted by Novaximus @ 07/05/2004 2:05 AM EDT

God I love this site more every time I come here.

Ghosted by Jesus @ 07/05/2004 2:08 AM EDT

Ever have certain movies bring out some sort of inner depression when you watch them for no particular reason?

Well, Gremilns have always had this effect on me. Sorry Matt, but watching those movies totally throws off my Chi

Ghosted by Novaximus @ 07/05/2004 2:09 AM EDT

NERF FENCING! I loved that! Whee!

Ghosted by Evin @ 07/05/2004 2:40 AM EDT

Hey Matt, congrats on the job. If you ever have the need for a fat guy, I’m your guy ;)

Ghosted by Will @ 07/05/2004 2:58 AM EDT

Cool, I was just hoping for some new 80’s ads. Where did those trees go anyway? And what did they have to be jolly about?

Not to toot my own horn, but I just completed a page for my site on "Garfield and Friends" that’s packing more information than anywhere else. And I took all the screenshots, made all the videos and gathered all the info myself. If you miss "Screaming with Binky" or want to know the truth behind "the Klopman Diamond," follow my name’s link….

Ghosted by Mars @ 07/05/2004 3:49 AM EDT

Finally, the Bitner Holiday Special will see the light of day! Nickelodeon is the perfect place to start your dominance over television.

See if after a while you can work you way into their vaults and review their older shows.

Ghosted by ME @ 07/05/2004 4:14 AM EDT

HOLY CRUD THE STARBOTS!

I used to have so many of those things. Brings back memories of orange juice flavored cereal conveniently enough called "OJ’s." I mean Jesus immagine if those things came out now. Anyway, OJs had those things in em way after every other cereal had dropped the promotion, so I just racked up my robots that looked like vaccume cleaners with pitchforks attached to them.

Ghosted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 07/05/2004 8:07 AM EDT

Everytime I try to write a post, it sounds stupid, especially when I’m trying to make it Nick-related :(
I even dropped a ref to the Archie Comics version of ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ because one of the artists works for Nick now. Personally, it’s probibly better that they are, that comic hasn’t been wonderful lately.
Anyway… so, you’re workin’ for Cosmo, Wanda and Spongebob now, eh?

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 07/05/2004 8:10 AM EDT

Good luck with the new job, Matt. Just dont forget all of us little people.

Ghosted by pulseczar @ 07/05/2004 9:02 AM EDT

Wow, I think I actually had a bootleg version of one of the fencing swords.

Ghosted by Ian, Just Ian @ 07/05/2004 10:10 AM EDT

I’m a sad, sad, man. As soon as that Fry Guys commercial started I recited the whole song. Right down to the part where Ronald bellows, "Rock Rock Rock Rock," at the end. When I was young, I taped EVERY Disney Sunday Movie (still have them in fact), and watched them over and over, including the commercials. The McDonlads commercials were always my favorite. As a 4 or 5 year old kid I LOVED that song. What a memory.

Ghosted by T.J. @ 07/05/2004 10:14 AM EDT

Great article as always. Those commercials were neat, especially that Andre the Giant commercial with Honeycombs.

80s commercials rule.

Ghosted by Bert Raccoon @ 07/05/2004 10:23 AM EDT

CONGRATURATION! You deserve it.

Ghosted by Max Jenius @ 07/05/2004 10:27 AM EDT

Great commercials. I remember the McRib. In the 90’s they would bring that thing back out with a movie promotion. They did it for the flintsones and a couple of other films. Those were the days. Back then, when a movie came out, you could always get a supersize tie-in meal, with a mcRib, and an overpriced plastic cup with images from the movie on it.

Ghosted by Number5 @ 07/05/2004 10:42 AM EDT

The Halls of Medicine? Isn’t that in Epcot?

Ghosted by sweetie @ 07/05/2004 10:49 AM EDT

Nickelodeon, cool! Even if nothing comes of it, it’ll still look great on your resume.
Make sure you sneak your camera into the studio for some behind the scenes stuff. Then post the pictures but mistitle them, so there will be no Nickelodeon Mafia banging on your door.

Does Ronald say something about stolen fries in that song? What the heck is he saying there?

Ghosted by trajeal @ 07/05/2004 10:56 AM EDT

Back when, the "fry Guys" were called "goblins" and their gimmick was finding and gobbling up any and all McD’s fries they could find. As time went on, they devolved into fry theives and then to "guys" and finally "kids." I miss the pirate captain.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 07/05/2004 12:01 PM EDT

Wow…I had forgotten all about Nerf Fencing.. Thanks for the memories, Matt, and good luck with Nickelodeon…

Ghosted by Cameron @ 07/05/2004 12:10 PM EDT

I’d like to expand on Max Jenius:

CONGRATURATION! A Nick employee is you! Yeah, that sucked.

Seriously, what’s with the astroturf background??? I swear to God in lieu of "Mac and Me", I WILL make this my new obsession!!!

Ghosted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/05/2004 1:11 PM EDT

Nickelodeon? That rules. Good luck with the job!

Ghosted by Denise @ 07/05/2004 2:24 PM EDT

I’m not the only one that’s simply creeped out by that tree, right? IT’S A GIANT TREE ENDLESSLY HOHOHOING IN THE CREEPIEST VOICE EVER. Poor choice for a mascot.

And Matt, congrats. I’ll watch out for any of your ads that make it on the air when I watch Fairly OddParents.

Ghosted by Behonkiss @ 07/05/2004 3:03 PM EDT

Actually, 1990 IS part of the 80’s… since the first decade AD had 10 years, it ran from 1 to 10. Therefore the 80’s started in 1981 and ran until 1990.

That’s why the REAL millenium was in 2001, not 2000.

Ghosted by Piscez @ 07/05/2004 3:14 PM EDT

Wow that’s awesome news about the Nick job. That’s exactly the sort of thing I’d like to get into someday. Good luck, Matt. Let us know what to look for on the telly.

Ghosted by Mike Fireball @ 07/05/2004 3:16 PM EDT

Great stuff! I remember almost all of thos ads, they make me so happy! and Congrats on the job! thats so cool!

Ghosted by Loozer @ 07/05/2004 3:16 PM EDT

wow matt you have outdone yourself this week. rock on

Ghosted by ed @ 07/05/2004 3:28 PM EDT

Matt Head to the tape archives on the 5th floor (where it’s earilly empty) and start grabbing tapes of You Can’t Do that on television. Then accidently go up 1 floor to VH1 and accidently slip them into the editing room. Maybe they’ll get some better Ideas than the crud they’ve been having lately. Oh and go to the 9th Floor and yell at the old guy who does reception for Sundance… That guy screamed on me once because I had a to get a tape from them, and I didn’t have the name of the person I was suposed to get it from, just the office number.

Ghosted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 07/05/2004 3:31 PM EDT

Matt – congrats.

Consider bringing back the "Nick Nick Nick Nick, na Nick Nick Nick, Nickelodeon!" jingle.

Ghosted by Chris @ 07/05/2004 3:34 PM EDT

I remember Nickelodeon during the 80’s and early 90’s. I grew up watching Pinwheel, special delivery, Today’s Special and a bunch of other live action shows. I also remember the great gameshows like Double Dare, Nick Arcade, Legend of The Hidden Temple, GUTS, and a bunch of others.

Now I see it today and it’s all nicktoons now. I remember when that was a special thing for the weekends, Rugrats, Doug, and Ren and Stimpy, but now they’re all over the place. It’s such a shame there’s no variety anymore.

Anyway, congrats on the job Matt. I hope all goes well with it.

Ghosted by Number5 @ 07/05/2004 3:45 PM EDT

We better SEE some of these new Nick promos. Actually, all I want to see is The Adventures of Pete and Pete. But that’s got nothing to do with this. ‘Grats’.

Ghosted by Shire @ 07/05/2004 3:51 PM EDT

T.J., you should e-mail Matt about those Disney TV movies. Especially if you have the Mr. Boogedy movies, so I can relive my nightmares from childhood.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091566/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092696/

Trippy, you and Matt should plan the best way to get tapes out for copying. That is one of the things I like so much about Adult Swim is, starting with Space Ghost, they have given a second life to all of those characters that might not even be seen much on the Boomerang network. It would be great if eventually they let Matt program Saturday or Sunday mornings and he would have his pick of old shows.

Matt, I realize it is way too early in your new job, but please pass along the name of former "Beetlejuice" cartoon animator, Greg Hyland (I mentioned him before for an X-E book’s illustrations), sometime in the near future to your new boss(es) for at least promos: http://www.lethargiclad.com http://www.fbtb.net/greg/gregindex.asp
He would also be perfect for helping to adapt a certain website for a kid audience.

Ghosted by ME @ 07/05/2004 4:19 PM EDT

I’m following the masses who say that late 80s early 90s Nick would definitly be sweet.
or even the old TGIF series.. I cant remember the original lineup but there was Family Matters, Step by Step, um, others..

Ghosted by ed @ 07/05/2004 4:52 PM EDT

Congrats on the new job! Finally we have another reason to watch Nickelodeon. I had stopped after they pulled the Old School Pick with no explanation. Do us a favor and ask them what the hell they were thinking.

Those old shows need to be on the air, maybe a Saturday night block dedicated to nothing but old Nickelodeon. Bring back Inside Out Boy too.

Ghosted by Matt (#2?) @ 07/05/2004 5:04 PM EDT

Matt, if you can convince them to bring back old Nick shows like You Can’t Do That on TV, Wild and Crazy Kids, Double Dare, and the like, tell the network TV execs that I would watch Nickelodeon a LOT more…Bring back the good stuff.

Count Duckula would be cool, too…

Ghosted by Cameron @ 07/05/2004 5:18 PM EDT

Anyone else able to translate the Andre the Giant speak? I believe the line Matt quoted is "There were four horses Inigo."

Matt – Any prize if I’m right?

Ghosted by Dane Coffey @ 07/05/2004 5:23 PM EDT

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