X-Entertainment | The 4th of July Fireworks Extravaganza!

The 4th of July Fireworks Extravaganza!

I'm sure a lot of you are gone for the weekend, but for those who can hearrrr me know, X-E's celebration of Independence Day comes in the form of this pictorial guide to shitty fireworks. Well, not shitty...just cheap. Smoke bombs, snake eggs, and a whole bunch of other junk we found yesterday in a paper bag leftover from last year. I've got another article on deck, probably for Monday, earlier if I don't feel like celebrating, but I probably will, because yay tequila. If you're taking off, have a great 4th -- may it be filled with the legendary vodka-filled watermelon and much meat.

Posted by Matt on 07/02/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 107 comments

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I just wanted to say happy 4th to all you Yanks. Enjoy yourselves, but be careful with them firecrackers, eh?

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/02/2004 11:29 PM

And, I guess, I shoudl say First Post!! Woo!!

Whatever.

By the way Matt, how are the fish? A store near my work has a tank with 9" blood parrots! And what’s really weird? They are sharing a tank with…Geophagus! I guess they took a hint from you set up.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/02/2004 11:31 PM

Sean you mindreader, I was toying with making an entry just to ask your help. Okay, remember that dolphin whale guy I have? Well, I think he’s fine, but the woman thinks he’s sick — I will concede that he has some pale markings on his face, and 1 or 2 grains of what would appear to be styrofoam (very miniscule) on his fin (and definitely not Ick). He’s as active as ever and shows no signs of sickness in his behavior, and I’m convinced we just never noticed these markings before. Dear Abby, who’s right?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/02/2004 11:35 PM

Whoa, I was NOT expecting another article before the holiday, and definitely not one holiday themed. Thank YOU.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 07/02/2004 11:49 PM

Matt, I would hazard that the woman is right (doesn’t that always seem to be the way? I hope my wife doesn’t see that). The skin of mormyrids is pretty delicate, so infectious parasites (like ich) can really get at them. Coupled with the fact that most of those fish don’t really like hanging out in tanks with big cichlids, that might be asking for trouble. The best treatment? Partial water changes (never a total one, very bad), raise the temperature A LITTLE (it should normally be 78-80 F, raise it to about 85 until it goes away). Keep in mind, the higher temperature raises the fish’ metabolism, helping them fight infection, but it means they eat, digest and excrete more, and more often, so cleaning needs to be more frequent. Finally, adding aquarium (not table) salt would probably help, about a tsp/10 gallons (I think). Avoid chemical treatments if you can because a) it’s expensive to treat a big fish tank, and b) mormyrids, like loaches and catfish, don’t have normal scales, so medications at full dose can do more harm than good.

Anyway, that’s my thought. Good luck.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/02/2004 11:50 PM

Oh, and yes, my species tends to be telepathic.

Not really, I just always wanted to say that.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/02/2004 11:52 PM

Seventh Post? Yeah I’ll take that.
*lights bottle rocket*

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 07/03/2004 12:04 PM

We used to play soccer with the smoke balls. It was bang-droppin’!

Here in CA, the only fireworks that are legal are the lame assed ones, which would include the ones in this article. What I prefer are firecrackers, M-1000s, bottle rockets, helicopters, bees, and just about anything else that could potentially kill anyone within a ten foot radius. It’s just no fun when there isn’t a risk involved.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/03/2004 12:05 PM

An interesting experiment involving Piccolo Petes just came to mind. For those of you who don’t know, Piccolo Pets are these tubes that you set upright, and they make a shower of golden sparks and give off a high-pitched noise that would make any dog within a hundred-mile radius try to drown himself/herself in his/her own water bowl. Very annoying, but there’s something cool you can do with them.

Simply hold the top of a Piccolo Pete against a hard flat surface, take a hammer, and hammer the top shut. Give it a couple of extra whacks if needed. Just make sure that the top is closed off, but still fairly intact. Light it, and the muthafucka will explode. Please note that this may not happen right off the bat after you light it, and it may not work at all. It takes practice getting it right.

I’m now calling this experiment "Bang-Droppin’ Petey" in honor of Matt’s new "cool word."

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/03/2004 12:26 PM

I think you need to find those movies and get them online.

Me and a friend made Rocket Cars once… strapped model rocket engines to plastic cars we bought from walmart…. its effing awesome. And legal! I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 07/03/2004 12:30 PM

Matt, when you do light the skeleton firework, make sure you take pictures and update the firework article. I want to see what it does! Oh, and just a note. I haven’t done anything for 4th of July in years..fireworks are banned around where I live too. In the sense that there’s nowhere to shoot them off without starting a fire and killing 30 people.

Chestnuts roasted by Aristobulus @ 07/03/2004 1:04 AM

The Tanks are perhaps the greatest fireworks ever made. A traditional favorite activity is to face off two tanks and light them, betting on the winner, as one will invariably catch on fire and burn to ash, as the other tank stands proudly in triumph.
Then, place firecrackers in the little holes left in the winning tank, and watch it a’splode.
Ah, memories.

Chestnuts roasted by James @ 07/03/2004 1:31 AM

In the Palm Springs desert area they ban fireworks in the tourist towns but they’re legal in the poorer areas, so as you drive down the highway there are signs every few miles telling you whether you can have fireworks or not. It’s completely random and silly; I don’t think that the dry brush/fire hazards care which side of the county line they’re on. They put on an amazing show last year, though, at the Polo Club, of all places (Click my name for the pics I took of the show).

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/03/2004 1:40 AM

Here in Connecticut, they legalized a lot of fireworks a few years ago, and, let me tell you, it is glorious to walk into Stop & Shop and see a rack of $25 firework collections. The only thing missing is collector’s numbers on the side of them, as in "collect them all now, before they’re gone, and when they’re gone, your head’s gone. No billy, don’t touch that."

*sigh*

-quentin mcalmott

Chestnuts roasted by quentin mcalmott @ 07/03/2004 1:54 AM

No one seems really big on fireworks around here, there are a few on Canada Day and some on New Year’s…nothing big.

I do remember playing something really very dangerous on a vacation to Winnepeg. It was called ‘Roman Candle Tag’. The objective was that we all bought as many roman candles as we could, lit ‘em up and tried to shoot them at each other. No one got ‘tagged’ per say, but its not an activity I advise the kids to undertake.

Remember your safety goggles people!

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 07/03/2004 2:37 AM

Dear matt
cook your fish on the 4th of july.
Ps I would send you some fireworks but i dont think sending explosives through the mail is good.

Chestnuts roasted by alex @ 07/03/2004 2:41 AM

I could however, email you pictures of them
Then more pictures of me enjoying them.
Oh no… I’m sure you have plenty of your own fireworks to enjoy..OH WHATI WOOPS

Chestnuts roasted by alex @ 07/03/2004 2:44 AM

Where I live in Cali fireworks are legal. Last year my cousin lit up like 5 boxes of those skeleton type fireworks and it made a big strobe light effect. I was seeing spots for 2 minutes.

Chestnuts roasted by pikacuhlover @ 07/03/2004 3:28 AM

Good fireworks are illegal in my little hell-hole of a state, (PA)too. But, the ones you mention are rather fun too.

What makes it worse is that my one Aunt has SHITTY taste in fireworks. One year, she bought some "fireworks" that shot PAPER STREAMERS and nothing else for crying out loud.

Anyway, usually we go to my Uncle Greg and Aunt Gale’s house instead. He gets GREAT fireworks and lives in a spot where they don’t care what you do. But, We’re not going there this year. -_-

Oh well, I’m going to bed now. Free-Comic-Day is tomarrow!

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 07/03/2004 3:37 AM

Awesome pics! Great article!

Chestnuts roasted by sfghsfgh @ 07/03/2004 3:39 AM

I just lit off some cheapy called a "June Bug" that was pretty darn cool. Actually, it was fucking awesome, but I’m a bit depressed about Marlon Brando’s passing, so it’s hard to be free with the hyperbole. Anybody else hitting the video stores this weekend for a screening of some classics? I’m thinking "A Streetcar Named Desire" and "Apocalypse Now".

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/03/2004 4:31 AM

Matt! What, no reference to the fact that the Cobra Black Snakes have a "WARINING" label? I mean you did catch that the Tank was made in "Cihna".

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 07/03/2004 5:12 AM

Fireworks rule! I always like taking my bottle rockets and loading in my "Nemesis" figure and launching them from his man pad rocket launcher at my other "Resident Evil" toys. Way cool! To everyone have a safe 4th, watch your fingers.

Chestnuts roasted by Caylor @ 07/03/2004 6:05 AM

jhnnywalkr, I was just coming here to post about the WARINING. That extra I, he’s a sneaky one.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/03/2004 7:18 AM

The smoke from the Smoke Bombs reminds me of the end of Time Bandits.
"Don’t touch that, mum! It’s EEE-VIL!"

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/03/2004 7:30 AM

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