Monthly Archives: July 2004

The Giant Fucking Chicken.

On ze way to work today, I saw a chicken.  A giant fucking chicken.  Standing absolutely still next to a man handing out take-out menus for the “Texas Rotisserie Grill,” I was awestruck with the sight of what appeared to … Continue reading

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The Froot Loops ALIEN FRUIT MONSTER Fiasco, Part I.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the “Alien Fruit Monsters” who so viciously attacked Toucan Sam before fizzling into the abyss of Forgotten Cereal Guest Stars. I honestly can’t remember how the campaign started or what it was exactly about, but here’s … Continue reading

Posted in General | 116 Comments

The Treehouse Trolls Cometh.

I’m not sure if it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s certainly the worst thing I’ve seen in a long while. Okay, remember those Troll dolls? The fuzzy-haired rubber figures Mrs. Poole used as good luck charms when … Continue reading

Posted in General | 196 Comments

A handwritten update.

Posted in General | 142 Comments

Spider-Man Wants A Tip!

This was heehawrioush. Near where I work are a great number of beggars, ranging from the kind you genuinely feel terrible for to scam artists of the lowest order. You grow accustomed to being accosted, and if you can make … Continue reading

Posted in General | 131 Comments

The GBA SP Classic, reviewed.

Remember that gigantic inflatable Spider-Man I picked up in the carnival article? I still haven’t found the correct spot for it. Amazing, I know, it being a 7′ bulky inflatable Spider-Man and all. Looks like it’d make a great pool … Continue reading

Posted in General | 211 Comments

I’m an idiot.

Hello youse guys. Through working with people, in public, in someplace not my apartment, in daylight, for the first time in sixty years, I’ve drawn the disturbing conclusion that I just might be the most annoying person on the planet. … Continue reading

Posted in General | 133 Comments

80s Commercials – Volume H2RE-46c!

Yeah, it’s late, but it’s up, here it is: 80s Commercials – Volume H2R3-46c. Another dozen in this batch, including Colgate Junior, the Mickey Mouse Playhouse, Roddy Piper and something about cheeseburgers. I sort of rushed through it so I’d … Continue reading

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Dracula The Musical? Iced Teasers?

The next volume of 80s commercials won’t be done till tomorrow night, hopefully, but here’s a teaser — an iced teaser. Yes, it’s “Iced Teasers,” a failed experiment from Nestea featuring goofy iced tea drink mixes with some extra zings … Continue reading

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80s Commercials, Volume 404040-ASKSK.

In a shocking twist, this week I start a new job at Nickelodeon writing commercials with their promo department — a dream come true, at least for the next few weeks. If any of my stuff lands on television, I … Continue reading

Posted in General | 147 Comments