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Coca Cola C2.

I stopped drinking regular soda a few years ago (if I'm going to eat bad stuff, I'd rather it be chips), but who can resist the chic new cans of Coke's "C2" -- the cola for the carb-conscious? Slicing all of the assorted crappy nutritional marks in half, it's a soda with half the calories, half the carbs and half the sugar of normal Coke. If that's not enough for ya, get a load of those neat cans! It's like we're livin in the 30s! The 3030s! It's BTTF 18!

Best as I can tell, it's a remarkable facsimile of original Coke -- honestly can't taste much of a difference at all. I doubt it'll happen, but I wouldn't be entirely shocked if C2 ultimately becomes the template for normal Coke. What's the point in having extra sugar and shit if you can mimic the taste nearly perfectly with less gunk? Yeah, it does seem a bit silly to have Coke, Diet Coke and Not-Quite-Diet-But-Better-Than-Normal Coke, but hey, we're living in an Atkins world. Pretty soon it's gonna be all about low-carb gasoline and low-carb carb bars. It's become the 2000s' offering to the big bad book of four-letter words. I'm still keeping my loyalties on the Diet Coke w/ Lime variety, but for those of you who can't shake your love for real cola, this might be a nice soda safehouse.

Posted by Matt on 06/29/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

C2 isn’t so bad, basically coke with water in it, and with half the carbs it’s more marketable than no-carb diet coke. But beyond taste, rest assured I’ve found out that it will explode just the same in a fire ( http://www.bitterjerksociety.org 27 June post).

Chestnuts roasted by The Fifty-fifth of something @ 07/05/2004 2:34 PM

if you lick your lips after drinking it, it’s kinda like a semi-sweet sand. which is gross. why should coca-cola go out of it’s way for the anti-carb fashion!?

Chestnuts roasted by yvette @ 07/05/2004 3:03 PM

This stuff is ok. But followers of the low-carb diet (like myself) know we can’t have it. One of the pillers of a low-carb diet is no sugar what so ever. So…Coke (And Pepsi with there Pepsi Edge) allmost got it right. Now if they replaced the sugar with Splenda they woulden’t have a problem getting us low-carbers. But for now, I’ll stick with Diet Rite. Has no carbs and no caffeen (which is also another pillar for low-carb…well at least for Atkins)

Chestnuts roasted by The Chairman @ 07/05/2004 3:56 PM

Pepsi is done with Pepsi Edge….not much of a hot seller….And Coke aint selling that much of C2 also…theyll be off the shelves by the end of the summer…i should know i work for a supermarket…i love being an insider:) I happen to like the taste of both…but it made no sense for Pepsi to do it… Pepsi, Pepsi One, Pepsi Edge, and Diet Pepsi……yet Pepsi dont see the popularity of Mountain Dew Live-wire??!!!Best soda…period!

Chestnuts roasted by Ralph @ 07/05/2004 9:41 PM

Pepsi is done with Pepsi Edge….not much of a hot seller….And Coke aint selling that much of C2 also…theyll be off the shelves by the end of the summer…i should know i work for a supermarket…i love being an insider:) I happen to like the taste of both…but it made no sense for Pepsi to do it… Pepsi, Pepsi One, Pepsi Edge, and Diet Pepsi……yet Pepsi dont see the popularity of Mountain Dew Live-wire??!!!Best soda…period!

Chestnuts roasted by Ralph @ 07/05/2004 9:41 PM

I cant belive my comment was posted twice…my aplogies lol!

Chestnuts roasted by Ralph @ 07/05/2004 9:43 PM

"Mountain Dew Live-wire??!!!Best soda…period"

if you enjoy drinking piss

Chestnuts roasted by Dakez @ 07/06/2004 12:25 PM

I certainly am NOT Atkins friendly. Something seems wrong about cutting carbs. This is good for all the people that are, but I am so sick of the word CARBS!

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 07/06/2004 11:03 AM

I haven’t seen this C2 anywhere yet, but I’ll get it if not for the reduced carbs, then for the awesome can design.

Chestnuts roasted by Thibidaiox @ 07/06/2004 10:34 PM

I tried a bottle of C2. It tastes almost like Diet Coke. The reason: It is simply Coke with a 50/50 blend of sugar and NUTRASWEET. There you have it folks, that’s the secret.

Drinking a different formulated Coke isn’t going to help you lose weight. Getting off your fat, X-E reading ass will! Go exercise. Walk. Jog. Whatever, DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Superfly @ 07/06/2004 10:54 PM

I tried a bottle of C2. It tastes almost like Diet Coke. The reason: It is simply Coke with a 50/50 blend of sugar and NUTRASWEET. There you have it folks, that’s the secret.

Drinking a different formulated Coke isn’t going to help you lose weight. Getting off your fat, X-E reading ass will! Go exercise. Walk. Jog. Whatever, DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Superfly @ 07/06/2004 10:54 PM

Alright rant time!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think that people should stop worrying about being thin and trying all these diets to be thin, and worry about being healthy! health is important, more important than beeing the size of a broom handle!!!!!!!!!!!!! drives me crazy to think that people cut out something that their body needs just to look a certain way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, with Mcds and all this healty stuff they sell, when people want to go to Mcds they dont go b/c they want a salad they go becuase they crave fries and burgers! I feel bad for Mcds b/c just because there number one they get the bad media of being unhealthy! if someone goes to Mcds 3 times a day and claim its MCds fault for making them fat its not, these people have a real problem and need real help, its so sad they have this problem and its so hard for them to find help!…
C2 I havent seen it around but I wont try it, Ill stick with regular coke!!!!! and in no way shape or form would I ever drink a pepsi product so Ive never tried all that other stuff! I love Vinilla coke! anyone else? also last thing whitemale, I call it pop but I thought that was b/c Im canadian, and americans called it soda? or maybe its just in the area you live in? cause I live right by buffalo NY and they seem to call it pop also? dont know?

Chestnuts roasted by I LIKE TO RANT! @ 07/07/2004 12:23 PM

Hey, I like Coke and I gots diabetes! Yay me!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/07/2004 4:26 PM

Crystal Pepsi was the only gimmick soda ever worth a damn in my book. Never Forget!

Chestnuts roasted by The Milkman @ 07/07/2004 6:09 PM

You know how they say that in a divorce the children are the ones who really lose out? Well in a low-carb diet the kidneys are the ones that really lose out. I’m serious here people, insure your kidneys, becasue kidney theives are gonna be all over us in about 5 years.

Chestnuts roasted by s0fa @ 07/08/2004 9:51 AM

you sad freaks. who in their right mind is actually going to fall for low carb cola? for gods sake, if you want to lose weight STOP EATING SO MUCH!! The atkins diet will kill you all because it is obviously sucha terrible idea, but provides you with a way to lose weight while still packing your greedy self satisfied faces, and when it faisl you have someone else to blame. Losers.

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 07/09/2004 6:10 AM

I found this at rochdaleonline.co.uk go to message board under cola facts
In an e-mail received today, someone sent me the following:

I drink lots of Diet Coke and have some of these symptoms. I hope that
none of you drink as much of this stuff as I always have, but be
aware: In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick. She
had stomach spasms, was having a hard time getting around, and walking
was a major chore. It took every-thing she had just to get out of bed;
she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone biopsies, and was on 24
various prescription medications. The doctors could not figure
out what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain and was so sick,
she knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc. in her oldest
daughter’s name, and made sure her younger children were to be
with her oldest daughter. She wanted her last hurrah, so she planned a
trip to Florida (basically in a wheelchair) for March 22nd.

On March 19th I called her to ask her how one of her tests went, and
she said the doctors didn’t find anything on the test, but they
believed she had MS.

I thought, oh, my…. then I recalled an article a friend of
mine e-mailed to me. I asked her….Do you drink Diet pop? She said,
yes, as a matter of fact, she was getting ready to open one that
moment. I told her not to open it and to stop drinking the diet pop. I
e-mailed her the following article.

She called me within 32 hours after our phone conversation and told me
she had stopped drinking the diet pop, and she can walk…she went up
the stairs, and the muscle spasms went away. She said she didn’t feel
100% but she sure felt a lot better. She told me she was going to her
doctor with this article and would call me back when she got home.

She called me and said her doctor was amazed. He is going to call all
of his MS patients to find out if they consume artificial sweetener.
In a nutshell, she was being poisoned by the aspartame in the diet
soda, dying a slow death.

When she got to FL March 22nd, all she had to take was one pill, and
that was a pill for poisoning. She is well on her way to
recovery…..and she is walking! No wheelchair! The following
article saved her life:

If it says "SUGAR FREE" on the label, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

I have spent several days lecturing at the WORLD
ENVIRONMENTAL CONFERENCE on "ASPARTAME," marketed as
‘NutraSweet’, ‘Equal’, and ‘Spoonful’. In the keynote address by the
EPA, it was announced that in the United States in 2001, there was an
epidemic of multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus. It was hard to
understand what toxin was causing this to be rampant.

I stood up and said that I was there to lecture on exactly
that subject. > >>I will explain why Aspartame is so dangerous:

When the temperature of this sweetener exceeds 86 degrees F, the wood
alcohol in ASPARTAME converts to formaldehyde and then to formic acid,
which in turn causes metabolic acidosis. (Formic acid is the poison
found in the sting of fire ants.) The methanol toxicity mimics among
other conditions multiple sclerosis.

People were being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in
error. Multiple sclerosis is not a death sentence, whereas methanol
toxicity is!

Systemic lupus has become almost as rampant as multiple
sclerosis, especially among Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi drinkers.
The victims usually do not know that aspartame is the culprit. He or
she continues its use, aggravating the lupus to such a degree that it
may become life threatening.

We have seen patients with systemic lupus become asymptomatic
once taken off diet sodas. In the case of those diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis, (when in reality, the disease is methanol
toxicity), most of the symptoms disappear. We’ve seen many cases
where vision returned and hearing improved markedly. This also
applies to cases of tinnitus.

During a lecture I said, "If you are using ASPARTAME
(NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc.) and you suffer from fibromyalgia,
spasms, shooting pains, numbness in your legs, cramps, vertigo,
dizziness, headaches, tinnitus, joint pain, depression, anxiety
attacks, slurred speech, blurred vision, or memory loss, you probably
have ASPARTAME DISEASE!"

People were jumping up during the lecture saying, "I’ve got some
of these symptoms. Is it reversible?"
Yes! Not drinking diet sodas and keeping an eye out for aspartame on
food labels, yes!

We have a very serious problem. A stranger came up to Dr.
Esposito (one of my speakers) and me and said: "Could you tell me why
so many people seem to be coming down with MS?"

During a visit to a hospice, a nurse said that six of her friends, who
were heavy Diet Coke addicts, had all been diagnosed with MS. This
is beyond coincidence! Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi etc. ARE NOT DIET
PRODUCTS!

The Congressional Record states that they make you crave carbohydrates
and will make you FAT. The formaldehyde stores in the fat
cells, particularly in the hips and thighs. Dr. Roberts stated in
his lecture that his patients, once off these products and even with
no significant increase in exercise, lost an average of 19 pounds over
a trial period.

Aspartame is especially dangerous for diabetics. We found
that physicians believed that they had a patient with retinopathy,
when in fact, the symptoms were caused by aspartame. The
aspartame drives the blood sugar out of control. Thus, diabetics may
suffer acute memory loss due to the fact that aspartic acid and
phenylalanine are neurotoxic without the other amino acids found
in protein. Thus, it passes the blood brain barrier and deteriorates
the neurons of the brain, causing in diabetics (as well as in patients
not suffering from diabetes) various kinds of brain damage, seizures,
depression, manic depression, panic attacks, rage, violence. (The
Aspartame in thousands of pallets of diet Coke and diet Pepsi consumed
by men and women fighting in the Gulf War may be partially to
blame for the well-known Gulf War Syndrome.)

Dr. Roberts warns that it can cause birth defects, i.e.,
mental retardation, if taken at the time of conception and
early pregnancy. Children are especially at risk for neurological
disorders and should NOT be given NutraSweet.

I can relate different case histories of children who are
on NutraSweet having grand mal seizures and other disturbances.
Unfortunately it is not always easy to convince a parent that
aspartame is to blame for his/her child’s illness. Only by trial and
success will parents be able to warn other others to take their
children’s health into their own hands.

Stevia, a sweet herb, NOT A MANUFACTURED ADDITIVE, which helps
in the metabolism of sugar (which would be ideal for iabetics) has
now been approved as a dietary supplement by the FDA. For years the
FDA has outlawed this sweet food because of their loyalty to MONSANTO.
Books on this subject are available: EXCITOTOXINS: THE TASTE THAT
KILLS – written by Dr. Russell Blayblock (Health Press -800-643-2665)
and DEFENSE AGAINST ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE written by DR H.
Roberts, also a diabetic specialist.

These two doctors will be posting a position paper with some
case histories on the deadly effects of Aspartame on the Internet.
According to the Conference of the American College of Physicians,
"We are talking about a plague of neurological diseases caused by this
deadly poison." Here is the problem: There were Congressional Hearings
when Aspartame was included in 100 different products. Since this
initial hearing, there have been two subsequent hearings, but to no
avail. Nothing has been done. The drug and chemical lobbies have very
deep pockets. Now there are over 5,000 products
containing this chemical, and the PATENT HAS EXPIRED!! I assure you,
MONSANTO, the creator of Aspartame, knows how deadly it is. They
fund, among others, the American Diabetes Association, the American
Dietetic Association, the Conference of the American College of
Physicians. This has been exposed in the New York Times–to no avail.

These Associations cannot criticize any asdditives or convey
their link to MONSANTO because they take money from the food industry
and have to endorse their products. Senator Howard Hetzenbaum wrote a
bill that would have warned all infants, pregnant mothers and children
of the dangers of aspartame. The bill would have also instituted
independent studies on the problems existing in the population
(seizures, changes in brain chemistry, changes neurological
and behavioral). It was killed by the powerful drug and chemical
lobbies, letting loose the hounds of disease and death on an
unsuspecting public

Chestnuts roasted by Bryan @ 07/09/2004 8:33 AM

I found this at rochdaleonline.co.uk go to message board under cola facts
In an e-mail received today, someone sent me the following:

I drink lots of Diet Coke and have some of these symptoms. I hope that
none of you drink as much of this stuff as I always have, but be
aware: In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick. She
had stomach spasms, was having a hard time getting around, and walking
was a major chore. It took every-thing she had just to get out of bed;
she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone biopsies, and was on 24
various prescription medications. The doctors could not figure
out what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain and was so sick,
she knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc. in her oldest
daughter’s name, and made sure her younger children were to be
with her oldest daughter. She wanted her last hurrah, so she planned a
trip to Florida (basically in a wheelchair) for March 22nd.

On March 19th I called her to ask her how one of her tests went, and
she said the doctors didn’t find anything on the test, but they
believed she had MS.

I thought, oh, my…. then I recalled an article a friend of
mine e-mailed to me. I asked her….Do you drink Diet pop? She said,
yes, as a matter of fact, she was getting ready to open one that
moment. I told her not to open it and to stop drinking the diet pop. I
e-mailed her the following article.

She called me within 32 hours after our phone conversation and told me
she had stopped drinking the diet pop, and she can walk…she went up
the stairs, and the muscle spasms went away. She said she didn’t feel
100% but she sure felt a lot better. She told me she was going to her
doctor with this article and would call me back when she got home.

She called me and said her doctor was amazed. He is going to call all
of his MS patients to find out if they consume artificial sweetener.
In a nutshell, she was being poisoned by the aspartame in the diet
soda, dying a slow death.

When she got to FL March 22nd, all she had to take was one pill, and
that was a pill for poisoning. She is well on her way to
recovery…..and she is walking! No wheelchair! The following
article saved her life:

If it says "SUGAR FREE" on the label, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

I have spent several days lecturing at the WORLD
ENVIRONMENTAL CONFERENCE on "ASPARTAME," marketed as
‘NutraSweet’, ‘Equal’, and ‘Spoonful’. In the keynote address by the
EPA, it was announced that in the United States in 2001, there was an
epidemic of multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus. It was hard to
understand what toxin was causing this to be rampant.

I stood up and said that I was there to lecture on exactly
that subject. > >>I will explain why Aspartame is so dangerous:

When the temperature of this sweetener exceeds 86 degrees F, the wood
alcohol in ASPARTAME converts to formaldehyde and then to formic acid,
which in turn causes metabolic acidosis. (Formic acid is the poison
found in the sting of fire ants.) The methanol toxicity mimics among
other conditions multiple sclerosis.

People were being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in
error. Multiple sclerosis is not a death sentence, whereas methanol
toxicity is!

Systemic lupus has become almost as rampant as multiple
sclerosis, especially among Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi drinkers.
The victims usually do not know that aspartame is the culprit. He or
she continues its use, aggravating the lupus to such a degree that it
may become life threatening.

We have seen patients with systemic lupus become asymptomatic
once taken off diet sodas. In the case of those diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis, (when in reality, the disease is methanol
toxicity), most of the symptoms disappear. We’ve seen many cases
where vision returned and hearing improved markedly. This also
applies to cases of tinnitus.

During a lecture I said, "If you are using ASPARTAME
(NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc.) and you suffer from fibromyalgia,
spasms, shooting pains, numbness in your legs, cramps, vertigo,
dizziness, headaches, tinnitus, joint pain, depression, anxiety
attacks, slurred speech, blurred vision, or memory loss, you probably
have ASPARTAME DISEASE!"

People were jumping up during the lecture saying, "I’ve got some
of these symptoms. Is it reversible?"
Yes! Not drinking diet sodas and keeping an eye out for aspartame on
food labels, yes!

We have a very serious problem. A stranger came up to Dr.
Esposito (one of my speakers) and me and said: "Could you tell me why
so many people seem to be coming down with MS?"

During a visit to a hospice, a nurse said that six of her friends, who
were heavy Diet Coke addicts, had all been diagnosed with MS. This
is beyond coincidence! Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi etc. ARE NOT DIET
PRODUCTS!

The Congressional Record states that they make you crave carbohydrates
and will make you FAT. The formaldehyde stores in the fat
cells, particularly in the hips and thighs. Dr. Roberts stated in
his lecture that his patients, once off these products and even with
no significant increase in exercise, lost an average of 19 pounds over
a trial period.

Aspartame is especially dangerous for diabetics. We found
that physicians believed that they had a patient with retinopathy,
when in fact, the symptoms were caused by aspartame. The
aspartame drives the blood sugar out of control. Thus, diabetics may
suffer acute memory loss due to the fact that aspartic acid and
phenylalanine are neurotoxic without the other amino acids found
in protein. Thus, it passes the blood brain barrier and deteriorates
the neurons of the brain, causing in diabetics (as well as in patients
not suffering from diabetes) various kinds of brain damage, seizures,
depression, manic depression, panic attacks, rage, violence. (The
Aspartame in thousands of pallets of diet Coke and diet Pepsi consumed
by men and women fighting in the Gulf War may be partially to
blame for the well-known Gulf War Syndrome.)

Dr. Roberts warns that it can cause birth defects, i.e.,
mental retardation, if taken at the time of conception and
early pregnancy. Children are especially at risk for neurological
disorders and should NOT be given NutraSweet.

I can relate different case histories of children who are
on NutraSweet having grand mal seizures and other disturbances.
Unfortunately it is not always easy to convince a parent that
aspartame is to blame for his/her child’s illness. Only by trial and
success will parents be able to warn other others to take their
children’s health into their own hands.

Stevia, a sweet herb, NOT A MANUFACTURED ADDITIVE, which helps
in the metabolism of sugar (which would be ideal for iabetics) has
now been approved as a dietary supplement by the FDA. For years the
FDA has outlawed this sweet food because of their loyalty to MONSANTO.
Books on this subject are available: EXCITOTOXINS: THE TASTE THAT
KILLS – written by Dr. Russell Blayblock (Health Press -800-643-2665)
and DEFENSE AGAINST ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE written by DR H.
Roberts, also a diabetic specialist.

These two doctors will be posting a position paper with some
case histories on the deadly effects of Aspartame on the Internet.
According to the Conference of the American College of Physicians,
"We are talking about a plague of neurological diseases caused by this
deadly poison." Here is the problem: There were Congressional Hearings
when Aspartame was included in 100 different products. Since this
initial hearing, there have been two subsequent hearings, but to no
avail. Nothing has been done. The drug and chemical lobbies have very
deep pockets. Now there are over 5,000 products
containing this chemical, and the PATENT HAS EXPIRED!! I assure you,
MONSANTO, the creator of Aspartame, knows how deadly it is. They
fund, among others, the American Diabetes Association, the American
Dietetic Association, the Conference of the American College of
Physicians. This has been exposed in the New York Times–to no avail.

These Associations cannot criticize any asdditives or convey
their link to MONSANTO because they take money from the food industry
and have to endorse their products. Senator Howard Hetzenbaum wrote a
bill that would have warned all infants, pregnant mothers and children
of the dangers of aspartame. The bill would have also instituted
independent studies on the problems existing in the population
(seizures, changes in brain chemistry, changes neurological
and behavioral). It was killed by the powerful drug and chemical
lobbies, letting loose the hounds of disease and death on an
unsuspecting public

Chestnuts roasted by Bryan @ 07/09/2004 8:33 AM

I was hoping they’d bring back Max Headroom to market this junk, just like I was with Vanilla Coke. I don’t really care one way or the other about the soda, but what with Alf getting his own talk show and all, we might as well finish turning the 21st century into the ’80s just like Back to the Future 2 said we would.

Guess they don’t want people to be making a C2=New Coke association. Aw well.

Do some Max Headroom ads for this, Coke, and you might be able to convince me to c-c-catch the wave. Otherwise forget it.

Chestnuts roasted by NOW!!!! @ 07/11/2004 6:42 PM

How could anyone know piss tastes like Live Wire unless one has tasted piss before????…..
yuk who drinks piss when Live-Wire is so much more orangy tasting:) yuuuuuuuuuuuum…like unfrozen ice pops love it!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Ralph @ 07/12/2004 4:51 PM

Lupus? I have lupus. Only girls can get lupus, which brings me to my next point…

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/12/2004 9:47 PM

The reasons they’re not pushing diet coke as the "low carb" drink are as follows:
+Diet Coke is actually made to appeal to pepsi lovers, smoother more treacle like taste.
+the gimmick of the atkins diet is all the so called good food and still loose weight (although personally I’m not keen on just eating vast amounts of bacon) thus DIET coke doesn’t fit that image because its like your missing the good bits so it doesnt fit the atkins ethos. Plus diet coke has been advertised totally towards a female market (here at least in england anyway) while atkins is very popular with fat smelly businessman yuppie types.

Chestnuts roasted by James Hicks @ 07/12/2004 10:15 PM

I can’t figure out what the hells up with C2. I see it all over the damn place here in California, the stores bought them up like it was the new crack, but they aren’t selling. The huge displays, were talking lite beer with Jeff Gordon on it, they’re huge! just sit there. All my friends said it tastes like hot ass and gasoline so I’m afraid to drink it myselfe. I’ll stick with vanilla/classic coke. Or I could just eat packs of Sweet N’ Low mixed in with coffee grounds and water, whatever. Oh, by the way, has anyone tasted the new Diet Mountain Dew? It’s really nasty. Some of my friends said it tastes like Theraflu, but Iv’e never had it so I wouldn’t know.

Chestnuts roasted by EhhEff @ 07/12/2004 11:36 PM

PS: If you guys want a good diet-ish soda just opt out for Pepsi One, it tastes just like Pepsi. Pepsi One could beat up C2.

Chestnuts roasted by EhhEff @ 07/12/2004 11:56 PM

You know, I just have to laugh at all these Atkinites…I can remember pretty much every "______________ is bad for you" diet fad that there was.
First, it was sugar. No more sugar, it’s bad for you.
Then, next came fat. No more fat, it’s bad for you.
Then – came an addition. Calcium. Calcium is good for you, let’s put it in EVERYTHING! Now, we have the latest in diet fads, the dreaded CARBOHYDRATE! No more carbs, it’s bad for you.

Okay, so what are we going to say is bad for us next? Protein? Vitamins? Minerals? Hey, guess what? AIR makes you fat, so stop breathing now if you want to lose weight!

…blink…

Hey, here’s an idea! Here’s how you can lose weight and get fit and healthy! It’s the new "Diet Plan for the Obviously Unaware"!

Part One – Eat a Healthy Balanced Meal three times a day, your largest meal being breakfast. Make sure to include all of the four food groups and drink plenty of water.

Part Two – A Regular Routine of Moderate Exercise. No, working the remote to your TV is not exercise. Walk in your neighborhood, go for a nice swim, maybe some dance if you’re up for it. Don’t forget to stretch so you don’t hurt your joints beforehand.

Part Three – Eat your meals SLOWLY, and only eat until you’re full. Many people eat far too quickly, and don’t realize that they are full until it’s too late and they have already stuffed themselves to past their full point. As for eating until full, regardless of your parents pounding into your head that you have to always clean your plate, you shouldn’t overdo yourself, regardless. Better the food become leftovers than fat. I mean, you wouldn’t overfill your car’s gas tank if all that extra gas was just going to flow onto the ground and do your car no good, right? Why do it to your body?

Part Four – Get a good night’s sleep every night. You might wonder, "How is that going to help me get healthy?" Simple. If you don’t get a good night’s sleep, that being at least 8 whole hours a night of uninterrupted slumber (before you ask, no, 2 four-hour naps don’t cut it), you wake up tired. So, you rely on lots of caffeine and/or carbs to give you energy to wake up. Many, many sleep-deprived nights later, you’re consuming more caffeine and carbs to stay awake, and it’s happily wreaking havoc on your body by speeding your heart up and storing excess fat. Can we say, "heart disease and obesity", everyone? I knew you could.

Well, so after I write my best-selling diet book, you can all say that you heard it here first.

Heh.

Chestnuts roasted by Syntania @ 07/13/2004 6:57 AM

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