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Super Mario Bros. — The Movie!

Here's my extremely scatterbrained review of Super Mario Bros., the 1993 film that took more than a few liberties with its video game subject matter. Here's a surprise: I absolutely did not hate this movie. It's ridiculous and stupid, but it's got a lot going on, and some of it really works. Maybe it's just that it's so unbelievably different from any other movie I've seen. Maybe it's just the Bob-ombs. The review is more an exercise in throwing a bunch of random shit at the html wall to try to convey the broad, silly themes of the film. In other words, it's all over the place. Still, if you've never seen the Bob Hoskins version of Mario, I'd recommend a viewing.

Posted by Matt on 06/23/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 260 comments

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The day we don’t mention the Chia plot is the day the update will be posted. Mark my words. It’s like going out to eat and leaving the table to go to the bathroom to get your food served quicker. It’s ironic – just ask Dave Coulier.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/24/2004 9:11 PM


oh yeah, and lol @ Kristal and AngeFaitore :D

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 06/24/2004 9:13 PM


My Japanese housemate pointed out to me that goombas are in fact CHESTNUTS not mushrooms as I have always though, and in the Japanese version of the games they are called the Japanese word for chestnut, and not GOOMBAS
:(
If you search for a chestnut or image of a chestnut you can see that they are definitely chestnut shaped.

Chestnuts roasted by Gibbon @ 06/24/2004 9:26 PM


I have the poster from this movie on my wall. What does that say about me?

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 06/24/2004 10:27 PM


"IT’S KOOPA’S TOWER!"

Chestnuts roasted by NrgSpoon @ 06/24/2004 11:52 PM


Y’know, I’m now recalling my Super Mario Brothers Lunch Box. Man I loved it. It had kickass pics on it and a kickass thermos. But one day, I accidentally left it outside on the schoolyard, and my mom and I were just about to go back and get it. Well, we got to the place where it was, and it was still there, but just then this fuckhead comes along and kicks the shit out of it, completely destroying it. My mother took him to the office immediately and he was busted like hell. His mother said she would pay for a new one, but she never did. Stupid bitch, gimme my Mario lunchbox. And stupid bastard, I swear I’m gonna hunt you down, make you log onto eBay, and make you find and purchase me a new one.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/25/2004 12:02 PM


Anyone notice in the first SMB cartoon, King Koopa looked more like Wart from SMB2? Watch the original and then SMB3/SMW and see.

I guess a worse movie would be a live action Legend of Zelda…with the dude from the old commercial as Link: "ZELDA!! Which. Way. To. Go. T-T-T-TEKTITES!!"

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragon @ 06/25/2004 12:12 PM


I was one of the few people who saw this in the theaters! I remember liking it, but I was really young. Thanks for the review!

Chestnuts roasted by Anna @ 06/25/2004 12:16 PM


I went to the theatre to see this classic film 3 times, and just watched it again for the first time in years, and no i realize, i was such an idiot then, maybe still am though, because after i watch that again, i watch Little Monsters.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Prime @ 06/25/2004 12:24 PM


Pop quiz hotshot…. You’ve just spent ten minutes rekindling old memories of a horrifying film that marked the end of the Mario Brothers as we knew it. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Go watch the Super Mario Bros. Super Show and after you’re through with that, SPEED.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/25/2004 1:28 AM


yes bullet bill made an apperance in the movie.
ron jeremy would’ve been a dead on mario for the movie. but he did a porno version of it. too bad because i think it would’ve made the movie better or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Westside_Paintballa @ 06/25/2004 1:54 AM


Hey Matt-

I went to China in the summer I got out of Eighth grade. In a marketplace there, we were offered real — and I swear I’M not kidding — lizzard on a stick.

Chestnuts roasted by Darthmuppet @ 06/25/2004 2:45 AM


A Zelda movie would never work…
If the unveiling of Wind Waker taught us anything, it’s that the more rabid Zelda fans are some of the bitchiest people on the planet.
"Playing a game that looks like a cartoon would make me childish! *piss, moan, cry, whine*"

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 06/25/2004 3:09 AM


First off, Westside_Paintballa , What’s this about a porno Mario Movie?

I LOVED this movie and still do, but I agree with Matt that it would have done better without the Mario connection. (How many of you who hate this movie only hate it because it’s not like the games?), The concept was cool on it’s own anyway. But, then again we wouldn’t have these cool in-jokes from the games (Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits), and I wouldn’t have ever seen it in the theaters. Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits.

Now I’m conflicted.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/25/2004 3:19 AM


First off, Westside_Paintballa , What’s this about a porno Mario Movie?

I LOVED this movie and still do, but I agree with Matt that it would have done better without the Mario connection. (How many of you who hate this movie only hate it because it’s not like the games?), The concept was cool on it’s own anyway. But, then again we wouldn’t have these cool in-jokes from the games (Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits), and I wouldn’t have ever seen it in the theaters.

Now I’m conflicted.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/25/2004 3:19 AM


A Zelda movie would be fun, but I think it would need to be based on Ocarina of Time to really work. That just has the most movie-friendly storyline, I think. It made it to a manga OK, at least! (It and the Majora’s Mask mangas are kind of funny in a way, because there seems to be a slightly abnormal amoun of swearing in them. Heheheheh.)

Me? I always liked this movie. It’s surreal, but it’s fun! And it is quite lovely to look at. It may not be very Mario-like, but it’s fun, at the very least!

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 06/25/2004 3:29 AM


Addendum: I’m a diehard Zelda fan, and I LIKED Wind Waker’s cartoony look. But I also really like the realistic look of the upcoming Zelda GCN title. Fooled my sister into thinking the trailer for the game was a traile for a Zelda movie, heheheh. >:)

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 06/25/2004 3:44 AM


i have a quick kick gi joe halfway up my tailpipe right now…and it’s kicking

Chestnuts roasted by quick kick @ 06/25/2004 4:08 AM


Great review, I’m sure I’ve seen this before. Just can’t remember much. For Nintendo movies, I’d have to say ‘Mortal Kombat’ was a great video game movie.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 06/25/2004 5:16 AM


I always liked the fact that the Bob-omb was wearing reebok shoes.

Chestnuts roasted by Bogo @ 06/25/2004 5:54 AM


I loved that movie

Chestnuts roasted by Liam @ 06/25/2004 6:25 AM


I know for a while a "Duke Nukem" movie was planned. I think Howie Long would have been great for the title role.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 06/25/2004 6:27 AM


There was one thing that keeps this movie lingering in the back of my mind(other than the fact that it is based on the two most iconic video game-plumber-brothers ever)….it would be the "super jump(?)" boots.

I still want a pair so I could crush all the schmucks in their New Rocks.
Id instantly toss out the Doc s for a pair of those badass, huge-5y80rc0n1c, goomba-skull-crushing(the goombas in this movie would have had to have skulls as they appear to actually have a solid skeletal structure)jump-boots.

Hmm….*MS_Paints boots onto picture of self.*

Chestnuts roasted by green welts @ 06/25/2004 6:30 AM


Great article for a crappy movie. Hey, it was better than most video game movies, though.

Oh, and guys, for the record, Big Bertha never tried to eat Mario. That was Boss Bass. Big Bertha is the one who spit the little fishies at Mario. >:)

Chestnuts roasted by Hollywood Narrator @ 06/25/2004 8:08 AM


Let’s end the insanity and create a live action/animated Sonic The Hedgehog movie. The now 300 lb. Jeffrey Jones can play Robotnik. Thomas Haden Church can play the Space Jam-esqe Michael Jordan to Sonic’s Bugs Bunny and save Mobius side by side. The movie can include every Sonic secondary character from every Sonic universe, yes, SatAM, SEGASonic, Sonic X, ect.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 06/25/2004 8:31 AM


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