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Super Mario Bros. — The Movie!

Here's my extremely scatterbrained review of Super Mario Bros., the 1993 film that took more than a few liberties with its video game subject matter. Here's a surprise: I absolutely did not hate this movie. It's ridiculous and stupid, but it's got a lot going on, and some of it really works. Maybe it's just that it's so unbelievably different from any other movie I've seen. Maybe it's just the Bob-ombs. The review is more an exercise in throwing a bunch of random shit at the html wall to try to convey the broad, silly themes of the film. In other words, it's all over the place. Still, if you've never seen the Bob Hoskins version of Mario, I'd recommend a viewing.

Posted by Matt on 06/23/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 260 comments

"Little Shop of Horrors" (1960) was shot in a record two days and a night by the great Roger Corman ( http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000339/ ). Those only aware of his 1970′s productions should definately seek out his earlier Edgar Allan Poe films with Vincent Price. He also gave a lot of the top directors their first break.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2004 1:48 AM


good review.

Chestnuts roasted by piemanmoo @ 06/24/2004 2:10 AM


I got this movie for five bucks at Best Buy! It’s so bad, its good!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/24/2004 2:11 AM


I don’t care what anybody says, I liked this movie. If it was what everybody thought it should be, it would’ve been just a big animatronic (Or if made today, CG) puppet show of a saturday morning cartoon with nothing new/of interest that would have been compeletely unwatchable to the general non-gaming public. I say they did the best they could with what they had. I’d imagine a real-life area under Bowser/Koopa’s rule would look something like that, and the subtle refferences to the games were a lot more fun than blatant ones.
afroken: Keep in mind though, Peach didn’t didn’t have a real name in the U.S. ’till Mario 64, and what kind of name is "Peach" for a seemingly normal person anyway? Plus, more recently, Daisy is more considered to be "Luigi’s girl" nowadays so it kinda worked out.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 06/24/2004 2:46 AM


Large Mystery Woman is NAMED "Big Bertha"

Chestnuts roasted by Orlando @ 06/24/2004 2:47 AM


What we really need now is a movie called Pro Wrestling Vs. Castlevania. Could you imagine Giant Panther vs. Medusa Head or the Amazon vs. Frankenstein and "Igor"? With absolutely NO computer graphics? I would only allow puppets and miniatures as special effects. It would have to include Dolph Lundgren and Louis Gossett Jr. somehow. I know you people agree with me….

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/24/2004 3:01 AM


Hey Matt, great article and all! Speaking of bad view, I was wondering, are you ever going to review an old view called "Mr. T Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool"? I finally got a copy (downloaded it), it is hilarious and deserving of the Matt Cara treatment.

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 06/24/2004 3:25 AM


I love this movie! Its so action packed and funny! Two thumbs up! Truely misunderstood!

Chestnuts roasted by Izlude @ 06/24/2004 3:43 AM


No no no no no no no no. NO. First movie I ever hated, have vivid memories of it, wish it had never existed. Wish Nintendo cereal still did.

Chestnuts roasted by Abob Lyndsae @ 06/24/2004 3:44 AM


This movie was a stupid pile of crap. Why can’t mario and luigi be pirates called Mar-fuck you up and Lu- fuck you

Chestnuts roasted by Maddox @ 06/24/2004 3:55 AM


Wow, Maddox is complaining about something? THAT must be a sign of the apocolypse.

Chestnuts roasted by IncogNegro @ 06/24/2004 4:06 AM


that review was right on. i always loved the smb movie because of the weird ass direction they took it. it was genius to bring in the beautifully detailed blade runner-esque sets (an abandoned cement factory was used according to a promotional "magazine"/activity book i have), and friggin’ frank from blue velvet as bowser. street fighter on the other hand was the stereotypical bad video game movie.

Chestnuts roasted by 2000lb uzi @ 06/24/2004 4:17 AM


Nintendo
Its for Breakfast Now!
Nintendo
Super Mario, WOW!
Ninentdo
something something balanced breakfast etc.

Is that anywhere on this site? I’m suprised I haven’t seen it.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 06/24/2004 4:20 AM


Destro, Matt mentioned the video:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/250.html
Fan site with audio: http://www.inzenity.com/mrt/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2004 4:34 AM


I’ve been meaning to watch the SMB movie for ages (hey! It took me until last year to see Pulp Fiction) but now I hear "Walk the Dino" is played in it! OMF! Was (not Was) is an awsome band! I totally gotta see this now ^_^!

Chestnuts roasted by JasonA @ 06/24/2004 4:37 AM


I dunno what it is about Mario, but when ever I play it, any version, I go into fits of rage when I die. Mostly, I think, it’s the original version coming back to haunt me, y’know when you stop running but the little eff wad skids. Holy crap I hate that. And no matter what version you play theirs that little dity that places when you die that if it had words it would say "OH! eff you, you died, looooooser"

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 06/24/2004 8:39 AM


Yes, Large Mystery Woman was based on a large fish in Super Mario Bros. 3. Her name? Big Bertha. I think it’s mentioned either in the credits or in the movie.

I wouldn’t lie to you, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Billy T @ 06/24/2004 8:52 AM


Wow. I love the way the comments go in circles like this. Every 7 posts or so, somebody feels the need to mention the identity of the big fish woman.

Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 9:03 AM


And after reading this review, I feel an insane desire to go rent Double Dragon and Street Fighter, two movies I could have died happy without seeing, because of this review. Dammit. Oh well, it’s worth it to see this gem finally get some recognition.

Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 9:09 AM


I think the real reason this film bombed wasn’t the low budget, extremely bad script, or extremely badder casting choices, but the fact that Bob Hoskins didn’t do "The Mario" at the end. Sure, nobody’ll do it better than Capt. Lou Albano, but I know I would have seen this in theatres had I known that Bob would be swinging his arms from side to side on the big screen as the credits rolled. Now that would have been just pure cinema magic.

Chestnuts roasted by cheaptrick @ 06/24/2004 9:14 AM


Princess Daisy just played Susan in the new version of "’Salem’s Lot" the other night. coincidence? yes.

the SMB movie just felt all wrong. couldn’t have been much worse.

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 06/24/2004 9:23 AM


It’s about time X-E reveiwed this movie, although i’m suprised I-Mockery didn’t beat you to it. I remember watching this with my cousin Peter, who was a bit of a nintendo freak back-in-tha-day. I don’t remember much; i didn’t watch it right to the end, but I do remember a few sketchy details.

Crap movie, good game, that’s all I have to say.

Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 06/24/2004 9:26 AM


The name Big Bertha has probably been mentioned enough times to show up on Google now. I wish the mystery woman’s name was Big "Schjimi". That would have been much cooler.

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 06/24/2004 9:31 AM


I found this movie on VHS at my local flea market for $1. Since then I have worn out the tape from so many viewings. Excellently horrible.
Best lines from Hopper? ::shouting:: "PLUMBERS!!!!" and ::whispering:: "Bob-omb…."

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 06/24/2004 9:44 AM


You had to skip out on the Eric Idle sub-plot, eh? WHY? Eric Idle is the whole reason to watch this movie!

Well, besides Samantha Mathis. I think she is adorable. There is just something about her that makes me feel funny inside. I think she won me over from her role in Pump Up the Volume.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 06/24/2004 9:49 AM


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