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06/23/2004: Super Mario Bros. — The Movie!

Here’s my extremely scatterbrained review of Super Mario Bros., the 1993 film that took more than a few liberties with its video game subject matter. Here’s a surprise: I absolutely did not hate this movie. It’s ridiculous and stupid, but it’s got a lot going on, and some of it really works. Maybe it’s just that it’s so unbelievably different from any other movie I’ve seen. Maybe it’s just the Bob-ombs. The review is more an exercise in throwing a bunch of random shit at the html wall to try to convey the broad, silly themes of the film. In other words, it’s all over the place. Still, if you’ve never seen the Bob Hoskins version of Mario, I’d recommend a viewing.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 260 comments

"Little Shop of Horrors" (1960) was shot in a record two days and a night by the great Roger Corman ( http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000339/ ). Those only aware of his 1970’s productions should definately seek out his earlier Edgar Allan Poe films with Vincent Price. He also gave a lot of the top directors their first break.

Ghosted by ME @ 06/24/2004 1:48 AM EDT


good review.

Ghosted by piemanmoo @ 06/24/2004 2:10 AM EDT


I got this movie for five bucks at Best Buy! It’s so bad, its good!

Ghosted by Cameron @ 06/24/2004 2:11 AM EDT


I don’t care what anybody says, I liked this movie. If it was what everybody thought it should be, it would’ve been just a big animatronic (Or if made today, CG) puppet show of a saturday morning cartoon with nothing new/of interest that would have been compeletely unwatchable to the general non-gaming public. I say they did the best they could with what they had. I’d imagine a real-life area under Bowser/Koopa’s rule would look something like that, and the subtle refferences to the games were a lot more fun than blatant ones.
afroken: Keep in mind though, Peach didn’t didn’t have a real name in the U.S. ’till Mario 64, and what kind of name is "Peach" for a seemingly normal person anyway? Plus, more recently, Daisy is more considered to be "Luigi’s girl" nowadays so it kinda worked out.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 06/24/2004 2:46 AM EDT


Large Mystery Woman is NAMED "Big Bertha"

Ghosted by Orlando @ 06/24/2004 2:47 AM EDT


What we really need now is a movie called Pro Wrestling Vs. Castlevania. Could you imagine Giant Panther vs. Medusa Head or the Amazon vs. Frankenstein and "Igor"? With absolutely NO computer graphics? I would only allow puppets and miniatures as special effects. It would have to include Dolph Lundgren and Louis Gossett Jr. somehow. I know you people agree with me….

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 06/24/2004 3:01 AM EDT


Hey Matt, great article and all! Speaking of bad view, I was wondering, are you ever going to review an old view called "Mr. T Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool"? I finally got a copy (downloaded it), it is hilarious and deserving of the Matt Cara treatment.

Ghosted by Destro @ 06/24/2004 3:25 AM EDT


I love this movie! Its so action packed and funny! Two thumbs up! Truely misunderstood!

Ghosted by Izlude @ 06/24/2004 3:43 AM EDT


No no no no no no no no. NO. First movie I ever hated, have vivid memories of it, wish it had never existed. Wish Nintendo cereal still did.

Ghosted by Abob Lyndsae @ 06/24/2004 3:44 AM EDT


This movie was a stupid pile of crap. Why can’t mario and luigi be pirates called Mar-fuck you up and Lu- fuck you

Ghosted by Maddox @ 06/24/2004 3:55 AM EDT


Wow, Maddox is complaining about something? THAT must be a sign of the apocolypse.

Ghosted by IncogNegro @ 06/24/2004 4:06 AM EDT


that review was right on. i always loved the smb movie because of the weird ass direction they took it. it was genius to bring in the beautifully detailed blade runner-esque sets (an abandoned cement factory was used according to a promotional "magazine"/activity book i have), and friggin’ frank from blue velvet as bowser. street fighter on the other hand was the stereotypical bad video game movie.

Ghosted by 2000lb uzi @ 06/24/2004 4:17 AM EDT


Nintendo
Its for Breakfast Now!
Nintendo
Super Mario, WOW!
Ninentdo
something something balanced breakfast etc.

Is that anywhere on this site? I’m suprised I haven’t seen it.

Ghosted by Piscez @ 06/24/2004 4:20 AM EDT


Destro, Matt mentioned the video:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/250.html
Fan site with audio: http://www.inzenity.com/mrt/

Ghosted by ME @ 06/24/2004 4:34 AM EDT


I’ve been meaning to watch the SMB movie for ages (hey! It took me until last year to see Pulp Fiction) but now I hear "Walk the Dino" is played in it! OMF! Was (not Was) is an awsome band! I totally gotta see this now ^_^!

Ghosted by JasonA @ 06/24/2004 4:37 AM EDT


I dunno what it is about Mario, but when ever I play it, any version, I go into fits of rage when I die. Mostly, I think, it’s the original version coming back to haunt me, y’know when you stop running but the little eff wad skids. Holy crap I hate that. And no matter what version you play theirs that little dity that places when you die that if it had words it would say "OH! eff you, you died, looooooser"

Ghosted by Former A1C Pete @ 06/24/2004 8:39 AM EDT


Yes, Large Mystery Woman was based on a large fish in Super Mario Bros. 3. Her name? Big Bertha. I think it’s mentioned either in the credits or in the movie.

I wouldn’t lie to you, Matt.

Ghosted by Billy T @ 06/24/2004 8:52 AM EDT


Wow. I love the way the comments go in circles like this. Every 7 posts or so, somebody feels the need to mention the identity of the big fish woman.

Ghosted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 9:03 AM EDT


And after reading this review, I feel an insane desire to go rent Double Dragon and Street Fighter, two movies I could have died happy without seeing, because of this review. Dammit. Oh well, it’s worth it to see this gem finally get some recognition.

Ghosted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 9:09 AM EDT


I think the real reason this film bombed wasn’t the low budget, extremely bad script, or extremely badder casting choices, but the fact that Bob Hoskins didn’t do "The Mario" at the end. Sure, nobody’ll do it better than Capt. Lou Albano, but I know I would have seen this in theatres had I known that Bob would be swinging his arms from side to side on the big screen as the credits rolled. Now that would have been just pure cinema magic.

Ghosted by cheaptrick @ 06/24/2004 9:14 AM EDT


Princess Daisy just played Susan in the new version of "’Salem’s Lot" the other night. coincidence? yes.

the SMB movie just felt all wrong. couldn’t have been much worse.

Ghosted by zann @ 06/24/2004 9:23 AM EDT


It’s about time X-E reveiwed this movie, although i’m suprised I-Mockery didn’t beat you to it. I remember watching this with my cousin Peter, who was a bit of a nintendo freak back-in-tha-day. I don’t remember much; i didn’t watch it right to the end, but I do remember a few sketchy details.

Crap movie, good game, that’s all I have to say.

Ghosted by G. Tubman @ 06/24/2004 9:26 AM EDT


The name Big Bertha has probably been mentioned enough times to show up on Google now. I wish the mystery woman’s name was Big "Schjimi". That would have been much cooler.

Ghosted by Blah...blah @ 06/24/2004 9:31 AM EDT


I found this movie on VHS at my local flea market for $1. Since then I have worn out the tape from so many viewings. Excellently horrible.
Best lines from Hopper? ::shouting:: "PLUMBERS!!!!" and ::whispering:: "Bob-omb…."

Ghosted by BaronVonHotPants @ 06/24/2004 9:44 AM EDT


You had to skip out on the Eric Idle sub-plot, eh? WHY? Eric Idle is the whole reason to watch this movie!

Well, besides Samantha Mathis. I think she is adorable. There is just something about her that makes me feel funny inside. I think she won me over from her role in Pump Up the Volume.

Ghosted by Stilewalker @ 06/24/2004 9:49 AM EDT


The super mario t.v. show and the movie crushed my spirits as a child. I have not been the same since the zelda cartoon. "well excuuuuuuse me princess"
blech.

Ghosted by zombone @ 06/24/2004 9:52 AM EDT


Yeah! Boo-ya! In your face! Read it and weep: FIRST POST.

Ghosted by Russ @ 06/24/2004 10:02 AM EDT


Hey, you know Large Mystery Woman? Yeah, her name in the movie was Birdo! HA HA HA HA! No, but seriously, read the previous posts before posting.

Honestly, Birdo was the best enemy in Mario Brothers history. A gender-bending, cross-dressing dinobird rawks.

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 06/24/2004 10:14 AM EDT


8′ lizard warriors with tiny heads? Isn’t that a Doors song?

Ghosted by Sweetie @ 06/24/2004 10:21 AM EDT


I wondered when you were going to review this movie!

Sadly, I’ve always strangely liked it. Maybe I just have a thing for the Princess.

Ghosted by Rosella @ 06/24/2004 10:36 AM EDT


An X-E review for this movie was long overdue. It’s about time.

BTW the Bob-omb and Yoshi were pretty much this film’s redeeming factors for me. Only movie where a decent re-imagining of Yoshi bites a Yoshi-abusive Dennis Hopper and a Bob-omb wears Reeboks (I’m not kidding! Look closely near the end of the movie!).

Ghosted by Teirusu @ 06/24/2004 10:44 AM EDT


I remeber the first time I watched this, I just sat there with my mouth open in a big O and tried not to cry when I realized how screwed up it was, the same face I made when I saw Masters of the Universe.

Ghosted by Brite @ 06/24/2004 10:44 AM EDT


I just bought this DVD two weeks ago at Best Buy for $5. I stayed up late with a twelve pack of beer and decided to watch it drunk to see if it was any cooler. I passed out twenty minutes into it. My wife found me sleeping on the couch, beer in one hand, and DVD case on my chest. She didn’t care that I got drunk. She was pissed that I spent that much on such a crappy movie.

Ghosted by Hypnotix @ 06/24/2004 10:50 AM EDT


Oh man, great article… wait. Those look like DVD caps. The Mario Movie is on DVD??

Wait! And the Wizard isn’t? What the hell?!

Toad was in the movie, too. Well, a character coincidentally named Toad was in the movie, played by punk rock’s Mojo Nixon with a bad haircut.

Ghosted by Mike Fireball @ 06/24/2004 10:53 AM EDT


Yep, this was a DVD — a 5.99 DVD at that. If anyone wants it and is having trouble locating it at the super bargain rate, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll try to pick it up.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 10:55 AM EDT


I saw this in theatres when I was 10.

I honestly was walking out of the theatre with my friend and we were excited for the sequel. Sam theing for Mortal Kombat. But I’ve learned my lesson. The closest thing to a videogame movie I come now is when I make my Goombah tatto do a dance…..

Ghosted by Selvig @ 06/24/2004 11:06 AM EDT


This was waaay up there on my top ten movie list when I was growing up. I bought the tape for $3 at a used video store and I wore it out by watching it so much.

Years later, I popped it in and watched it with my wife. The Mario Bros. Movie has not aged gracefully at all. I felt bad that I made her sit through the whole thing.

Ghosted by Chiablo @ 06/24/2004 11:09 AM EDT


Well Matt, I finally recieved my "prize" from UGO and it only took 7 months! My prize was supposed to be a Samsonite backpack filled with the latest DVD’s and Video Games. Know what I got? …well…I got the Samsonite Backpack like the contest said. As for the "lastest DVD’s and Video Games" I got a spiderman video game…..freakin strategy guide, not the game, just the damn guide. Oh oh, almost forgot, they sent me a CD of Pete Yorn too! WHO IN THE HELL IS PETE YORN?! Wow, this was so worth the 7 month wait!

Ghosted by Bizzar @ 06/24/2004 11:52 AM EDT


Ugh, that sucks Biz.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 11:56 AM EDT


Whoo-Hah! One of my favorite moments is how the cabs never stop for anybody, even having skeletons (Dry Bones?) on the grills, but everyone panics when they see the tiny little Bob-ombs. And the fact that Frank Black from Millenium plays the king at the end of the movie. Goom Goom, Akalakka Goom!
The Jean-Claude Street Fighter sucks! Buy or rent the Anime instead.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 06/24/2004 11:59 AM EDT


Yeah, I thought so too, I’m a bit bitter.

Ghosted by Bizzar @ 06/24/2004 12:00 PM EDT


Yeah, with the build for that last Bob-omb, I was expecting the explosion to end all explosions. But it just kinda knocked Koopa into a basket. Everyone was acting like it was an atom bomb. Oh well, at least it’s the most adorable bomb I’ve seen.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 12:00 PM EDT


>>>>USELESS MOVIE NOTE!< <<<

In the scene where you see under the bob-omb, Where it’s on the grate, you can clearly make out the bottem of it’s "foot" has a piece of a nike logo on it, as it’s made from a shoebox most likely (not kidding) pause, and squint. You’ll see it.

>>>>USELESS MOVIE NOTE<<<<

Ghosted by Joe @ 06/24/2004 12:06 PM EDT


…….wtf did it do to my post…

please delete that above, Anyways…

In the scene where you can see under the bob-omb where it’s on a grate and you can see it’s feet, pause, and look close, It has a piece of a nike logo on the bottem of it’s foot. I swear to god I remember seeing this, The bob omb’s feet are made out of shoebox cardboard.

Ghosted by Joe @ 06/24/2004 12:08 PM EDT


I don’t care what anyone says. I love this movie and will always love it. When it came out in theaters in 93 I saw it like 4 times. The one thing I really like and still like is them damn police cars. THERE SO COOL! I wish they made a toy of them. I watch that damn police car chase over and over whenever I watch my DVD copy. Also if any of you don’t know they’re are action figures of some of the characters from the Mario Brothers movie. Look on ebay they might have em there.

Ghosted by Mike @ 06/24/2004 1:09 PM EDT


I did see this in the theater. And it’s the elevator scene that made it for me. I enjoyed it… not in the way one enjoys a really good movie, but in the way one enjoys a really bad movie, therefore making it "good". It was entertaining, at least.

Ghosted by Orin @ 06/24/2004 1:25 PM EDT


Heh, the B’s in the Bullet Bill’s sign are little Bullet Bills. Also, I acn’t beleive no one realised that the King as a pile of slime was a reference to all that crap the kings were turned into in SMB3.

Also, the Japanese made their own Mario movie in ‘86. Not much is known about it other than the actors, that it was approx. 60 minutes, and it was animated. Still, it would be neat for someone to try to find it and get a review up. Don’t worry, the Japanese got a translation of our movie, too.

"Trust the Fungus."

Ghosted by Eric @ 06/24/2004 1:40 PM EDT


Matt, if you like Dennis Hopper, review Neil Young’s HUMAN HIGHWAY.

THE epitome of B-Grade Cult Film.

Only the most devoted of fans of the stars in the movie or of cult classic films know of its existence: Help Out and REVIEW the movie! (hell, half.com has it for like $5 right now…)

Ghosted by Orgg @ 06/24/2004 1:52 PM EDT


Wow Matt, I never realized how much variety the Mushroom Kingdom had for various lifestyles. Are my eyes fooling me, or does that big red neon sign in your Mushroom Kingdom pic read "Rawbar Gay?"

Ghosted by Hypnotix @ 06/24/2004 1:55 PM EDT


I happened to see the movie, well actually I was forced to watch it because I had to take my 4 year old cusion to the worse movie from hell!!!

Ghosted by lava master @ 06/24/2004 2:02 PM EDT


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