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06/23/2004: Super Mario Bros. — The Movie!

Here’s my extremely scatterbrained review of Super Mario Bros., the 1993 film that took more than a few liberties with its video game subject matter. Here’s a surprise: I absolutely did not hate this movie. It’s ridiculous and stupid, but it’s got a lot going on, and some of it really works. Maybe it’s just that it’s so unbelievably different from any other movie I’ve seen. Maybe it’s just the Bob-ombs. The review is more an exercise in throwing a bunch of random shit at the html wall to try to convey the broad, silly themes of the film. In other words, it’s all over the place. Still, if you’ve never seen the Bob Hoskins version of Mario, I’d recommend a viewing.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 260 comments

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Garbage!
Stupid Movie
Bad Idea
Horrible
Now I have nightmares

Ghosted by That Guy @ 06/23/2004 6:47 PM EDT

First Comment!!!…and stuff….

Ghosted by The Incredible Edible Egg @ 06/23/2004 6:48 PM EDT

Curse his fast little fingers…
Second and Third comment!!!!….and stuff

Ghosted by The Incredible Edible Egg @ 06/23/2004 6:49 PM EDT

Why the hell did this movie have to be made? And what the f*ck was Dennis Hopper smoking to agree to do this?! Oh, yeah… it’s Dennis Hopper… as far as he knows, he’s still cruising down the highway on a chopper…

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 06/23/2004 6:53 PM EDT

WOO HOO MARIO BROS MOVIE! Such a great movie, even though it kinda sucked. I’ve seen it numerous times, and I’d say you did a good job describing it! I never did understand why they included the fungus thing character. Goombas are my favorites in this movie though And of course the bobombs!

Ghosted by heeloyd @ 06/23/2004 7:02 PM EDT

This is one of my "guilty pleasure" movies. It’s so bad, rediculous, and stupid I enjoy it.

Ghosted by Tim-E @ 06/23/2004 7:17 PM EDT

ive never seen it all the way through ,but now its a must,its just that bad.

Ghosted by meef @ 06/23/2004 7:21 PM EDT

Notice how the small headed goombas and the small headed guy in Beetlejuice are similar?

Ghosted by Casino Royale @ 06/23/2004 7:25 PM EDT

You know the "Large Mystery Women"? Well, I remember that her name is metioned in the flick. She’s Big Burtha…you know, that giant fish that tried to eat Mario in SMB3? I guess the makers of the movie thought a big black women would represent a giant fish well…

Ghosted by Walks @ 06/23/2004 7:32 PM EDT

Walks, you beat me to it. I wanted to say that she was Big Bertha but you beat me by 2 minutes.

One thing I want to point out, the "Evolution Guns" or whatever they were called are redressed Super Scope’s, the light gun for the SNES.

Ghosted by Ace @ 06/23/2004 7:36 PM EDT

The large woman in the red is Big Bertha…she’s representing that huge red pirahna that follows and tries to eat mario in a few of the games…they obviously took huge liberties with that…large pirahna…7 foot 300 pound hawaiian woman that has a thing for short, fat, hairy super plumbers

Ghosted by Ant @ 06/23/2004 7:39 PM EDT

Hey of course someone else already said exactly the same thing i did….maybe I should actually read the comments before I post =P

Ghosted by Ant @ 06/23/2004 7:41 PM EDT

Ha Ha! This is A Film I’ve been waiting to see reviewed on this site! I’m going to admit, that when I was younger I loved the movie..actually I still enjoy watching it! I’m one of those people who actually LIKE the video game films (Super Mario, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Resident Evil…and even…The Wizard!) Guess I’m just geeky in that way…what? Wanna fight about it?! So again, I thank you for reviewing this movie for those who’ve never seen it! (I’m as suprised as anyone commenting on this site, that there are people that HAVEN’T seen the movie…SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!)

Ghosted by Jabo @ 06/23/2004 7:42 PM EDT

This ranks up there with Double Dragon as one of the most despicable nintendo-related movies.

Ghosted by Pygmalien @ 06/23/2004 7:45 PM EDT

At one point in time, I liked this movie. A very stupid point.

Off topic: In 1992(?) video tapes of Ninja Turtles were given away with packs of Hi-C juice boxes. I recently found my tape. The episode is "Funny, They Shrunk Michelangelo". Anyone remember this/have the other tapes?

Ghosted by Jimmy Putty @ 06/23/2004 7:59 PM EDT

I can’t read it because the background is blinding me and getting my head confused

Ghosted by Emily @ 06/23/2004 8:12 PM EDT

Dude, Super Mario Brothers was a hilarious movie, in the fact that it was just bad.

Hey…remember the magic mushroom that the giant pile of snot gave Mario to protect himself from the evolution gun?

Ghosted by Corey @ 06/23/2004 8:28 PM EDT

Jimmy Putty. I don’t remember the HI-C giveaway. However, I do recall Burger King or Hardees giving away (or possibly selling)TMNT tapes. These were rare episodes that may not have been released on tv. One tape I have featured Rat King and a hack magician/con artist. I think it was called "The Great Boldini".

Ghosted by Pygmalien @ 06/23/2004 8:30 PM EDT

i love this movie! it was so bad it was good. the name of the cabs in the mushroom kingdom were wigglers, the big yellow catapilars in supe mario world!
its the lttle things that matter.

Ghosted by afroken @ 06/23/2004 8:35 PM EDT

Hah, I saw that film in theaters. I hated it, because IT DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARIO BROS. I mean, jesus.
All I really remembered was the opening cartoon, Yoshi, the goomba faces, and the scene where they jump around on stupid rocketboots.

Oh well, it was better than Street Fighter.

BTW, Bob Hoskins rocks the house, watch him try to force an abortion on a girl he’s planning on killing in Felicity’s Journey. Its crazy as hell.

Ghosted by Piscez @ 06/23/2004 8:37 PM EDT

The big chick was meant to be the big fish? That makes her 100x better.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 8:45 PM EDT

I like the Super Mario Bros. movie.

Personally, I think the screenwriters were listening to a bit too much Devo when they wrote it, but I like it.

It’s fun, it’s silly, and it’s really good as long as you’re not expecting anything like the video game.

Ghosted by Rich @ 06/23/2004 8:47 PM EDT

I sorta feel guilty now that I’ve never seen the movie. I avoided it at all costs with every trip to the video store for the past decade because of what I’d seen in the films trailor. The more I think about it though, I would be more disappointed now if they HAD stuck to the plot 100%. Could you imagine paying $7.50 to watch Bob Hoskins punch bricks for two hours?

Even weirder than that would be if a sequel was based on Super Mario Bros. 2. The screenwriter wouldn’t be able to explain half of the convoluted crap in that game without involving Mario’s quest to raid Wart’s meth lab.

Ghosted by pulseczar @ 06/23/2004 8:49 PM EDT

time for a useless fact! johnny L had to eat maggots off a pizza in spawn, heres the thing they were, real(posted just about diner time)
any possibility of reviewing some francis colman movies (red zone cuba comes to mind)

Ghosted by bogeyb @ 06/23/2004 8:56 PM EDT

I just have one question that doesn’t involve lizard-archeologists or obese women portraying fish. Do you people camp out at X-E’s blog, refreshing the page every 30 seconds trying to get the first post?
I’m not trying to be dick, I just want to know why nothing constructive is said in the first five posts of any given entry on this site.

Ghosted by IncogNegro @ 06/23/2004 9:01 PM EDT

Scenery-wise, the movie rules. I love the way they desperatly tried to squeeze every litte Mario reference they could think of. Like the way they designed the hallways so it would look like the koopa castle?
Im a sucker for the shameless super-scope plug in the end too…

Ghosted by Pupin @ 06/23/2004 9:11 PM EDT

o i forgot not only does the movie not follow the plot of any of the games it messes up one of the names, daisy isn not the princess of the mushroom kingdom, she is the princess of saharaland from the gameboy game,peach is the princess of the MK, but in a game where all the Koopa Kids are idiots and not at all kids, i guess we can let this one slide.

Ghosted by afroken @ 06/23/2004 9:11 PM EDT

There were a few other NES in-jokes I didn’t mention, so if you’re interested in those, def check out the flick. Nothing much…a few character names, props, sounds and whatnot.

Oh, to whomever said it above — yes, video game flicks aren’t as bad as most make ‘em out to be. Well, they are, but I’ve always enjoyed ‘em. Hell, even Double Dragon was entertaining. And I love the MK flicks. Wizard, obviously. Street Fighter…hmm, lemme watch it again and get back to you.

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 9:15 PM EDT

I still haven’t seen this movie yet, but now you’ve got me intrigued enough to go out and find it!

Ghosted by Mandie J. @ 06/23/2004 9:20 PM EDT

Coleman Francis is the MAN.

Flag on the Moon. How did it get there?

Ghosted by Piscez @ 06/23/2004 9:37 PM EDT

My parents rented this film when it first came out on video, and my opinion then and now generally fits Matt’s. It’s not anything like the actual "Mario Brothers" games…but, to its credit, it’s not anything like any other movie out there, either. If you enjoy the truly strange and weird and don’t mind having the song "Walk The Dinosaur" stuck in your head for days after seing it, look this movie up. As Matt mentioned, it’s not nearly as bad as its reputation suggests (I actually liked Yoshi here and thought Bob Hoskins and John Leguziamo were quite good in the title roles)…just very, very odd.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 06/23/2004 9:39 PM EDT

Terrible, terrible movie. I have yet to watch it the whole way through. Ranks right up there with Double Dragon with its "Oh, we’re so powerful in our shitty little rhinestone covered outfits" shtick.

Ghosted by Number5 @ 06/23/2004 9:54 PM EDT

Movies after video games are never that good, exception "Resident Evil" was alright for a movie. "Mario Brothers" a crappy movie.

Ghosted by Caylor @ 06/23/2004 9:56 PM EDT

Here’s an interesting little tidbit: Birg Bertha has a thing for Mario? In the Comics too. The Valient comics put out in 1990 and around then had several shorrt stories that evolved around Mario getting accosted by Big Bertha (who was in love with him when she thought he was a Frog in the frog suit) and Bertha’s on-again-off-again boyfriend, Stanley the Talking Fish. On a weirder note… Stanley was in love with Wendy O’ Koopa! O_o And the end of one story had Mario take Wendy out for drinks after they fended off the fishy couple… Odd.

Ghosted by Blaine @ 06/23/2004 9:58 PM EDT

And to think, when I saw this in the theatre, people were getting up and clapping at the end of it… in retrospect, I guess they were happy that it was over.

Ghosted by Nate-o-mac @ 06/23/2004 10:10 PM EDT

I’ve seen bits and parts of this movie…it was quite amusing. It could have been better, but how can you effectively translate a movie out of a game that consists of jumping, breaking blocks, stomping monsters, shooting fireballs and collecting coins?

I heard they were thinking of making a Metroid movie….interesting to see whoever actress playing Samus morph into a little ball…

Ghosted by The Dragon @ 06/23/2004 10:19 PM EDT

Matt-I’m surprised I never suggested that you do a review of this movie before. Good work.

Ghosted by Nate @ 06/23/2004 10:20 PM EDT

I recently got the DVD for that movie, but only ’cause it was the cheapest Nintendo-themed DVD in the store. I would’ve bought one of the "Pokemon: Adventures in the Orange Islands" DVDs, but I’m thinking maybe there are cheaper prices for DVDs with 12 episodes on them. (At least that’s better than wasting $15 on only 3 episodes!) I’m personally hoping they’ll give "The Wizard" a special-edition DVD release.
BTW, Blaine had a point about the comic book character Big Bertha seems to be based upon. She appeared in two stories, "Love Flounders" and "Fins and Roses", both of which were reprinted in "The Best of the Super Mario Bros."

Ghosted by Kacy @ 06/23/2004 10:21 PM EDT

Haven’t seen this movie in quite a while. I had (and may still have) the storybook that went along with it. Yeah. Moving on, I guess if I looked at it with new eyes I could forgive the bad taste it left in my mouth.

But there is no forgiving Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Ghosted by Frostor @ 06/23/2004 10:31 PM EDT

Matt, when you said you expected Seymore to pop out of a sewer, did you actually mean Audrey II? Were you possibly making a Little Shop of Horrors ref? I think someone needs to watch Little Shop again and do a review… And if the fates were in my favor you’d also watch the original one from 1960, Directed by the god that is Roger Corman, and maybe you could compare Jack Nickolson’s Dental Patient to Bill Murry’s… but then I may be asking for too much.

Ghosted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 06/23/2004 10:42 PM EDT

Almost bought the original LSOH today. Never saw it. Thoughts?

Ghosted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 10:44 PM EDT

I don’t know if anyone else posted this but I thought you would like to know… if you read these that is. The "Big Mystery Woman" is in face the loveable Big Bertha. Just thought you’d like to know. <3

Ghosted by q @ 06/23/2004 10:53 PM EDT

i saw that movie alot(sad to say)but it’s so bad that it’s good. did anyone notice the product placement reebok did for that movie? on the scene were the bob-omb is walking upside down and is underneath koopa, if you look on the bottom of the bob-ombs shoes you can see reebok on them. did you see that one matt?

Ghosted by Westside_Paintballa @ 06/23/2004 11:16 PM EDT

Wasn’t one of the crimales that got de-evoled named Toad???

Ghosted by Death Drop @ 06/23/2004 11:32 PM EDT

The origonal LSOH is a fairly weird little number. It’s easy to consume though, pretty short.

Ghosted by Grey Weirdo @ 06/23/2004 11:49 PM EDT

Were Captain Lou Albano and that other guy to busy to do this? They look a heck of a lot more like the characters than Bob and John.

Am I the only one that thinks that the Goomba’s look scarier than any of the Ghoulies?

The 1986 musical LSOH is one of my favortie films of all time. I even bought the soundtrack. HBO seems to be playing it alot lately. It’s awesome.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 06/24/2004 12:06 PM EDT

you should look up mojo nixon…he played the character named "toad" (if my memory serves properly; or at least the guy in the cage with the harmonica…).
if that doesn’t scream cult classic, nothing else does.

p.s. mojo nixon was immortalized in the dead milkmen song "punk rock girl"

Ghosted by Ryan @ 06/24/2004 12:30 PM EDT

I distinctly remember seeing this movie in the theater and thinking it was cool, and wondering why everyone ragged on it so bad. It’s pretty clear now.

I know for a fact we talked about the LSOH original here in the blog, not that long ago. I think it was when you were out of town, but Google yields no results. If you’re a big enough fan of the musical version and Nicholson to sit through some pretty dry parts, it’s worth watching. There’s a pretty good payoff at the end, too.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 06/24/2004 1:00 AM EDT

I actually relly liked the flic. I liked it that they made it darker. Geez as much as you can’t honestly identify it as "creative freedom" they certainly were being creative. I think games should be made into darker themed movies more often.

Ghosted by Zee Kay @ 06/24/2004 1:16 AM EDT

you people that liked this movie sicken and disgust me. In all fairness I never saw it.

Ghosted by czvbzvb @ 06/24/2004 1:21 AM EDT

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