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The Crash Test Dummies Oh!

Sorry about the lack of updates lately -- I've got some stuff going on that's eating away at my net time, but hopefully that'll all be figured out soon. I'm vague out of necessity, believe me. Anyways, there's a new article up, finally bringing the infamous Crash Test Dummies to X-E. Vince and Larry began their quest to make everyone on the planet buckle the fuck up nearly two decades ago, eventually branching out into more important avenues like action figures and video games for the Sega Genesis. Tribute includes their history, their pictures, their new toys, and a completely understandable intro about the Sectaurs cartoon. Also, got some new Kinder Eggs. Guess what's inside...

Go on, guess. I'll tell you tonight. Here's two clues:

It's but a letter away from rank
Which is to say foul
It has many eyes on its backside
And I've never heard one howl

You've seen this character before
Battling with whiskerface
Shares a name with the Superman-obsessed
Eating dairy in a tiny spot

I mean, isn't it obvious? Give it a shot, I'll post the results tonight.

Posted by Matt on 06/02/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 123 comments

Yea, but the "More you know" PSA’s are aimed at the adults (read to your kids, know who their friends are, go to their conferences, etc.) The ones aimed at kids are more fun to watch.

The one PSA’s are fricking hate are the TRUTH ones about smoking and cancer. Those are annoying as heck.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/02/2004 10:49 PM

Ah I remember my crash dummies toys. The most memorable was the crashable taxi, which is better than the toy you got sans the screaming death noise part. When those old Dummy toys exploded it wasnt just a "fold back toghether" thing like with what you got there, you had to get parts from all over the room, and sadly sometimes they got lost. But thats part of the fun. I also had the dummy airplane, which I believe came with a VHS tape of the original CG-Cartoon, with ol Junk Bot as the badguy, whom I had a figure of, sadley he didnt explode or anything but you could take him apart. I also had the crash test center, which was basically a big flat piece of plastic with a opening wall you could crash through, and a solid wall that measured how hard you could fuck the vehicle up. I loved those toys, as for figures, I can only remember having Junkbot, Jackhammer, Tad..Tod something like that, and I think Vince, for whatever reason Larry didnt make it to the cartoon, I remember the themesong and how much it rocked, unfortunatley Larry was not mentioned but VInce was, I think his new buddy was named Spin or something along those lines. Hmm.. I remember way too much without actually still having any of this stuff. BTW Great article Matt, do you have any recollection of those monster truck toys that like… turned into fucking monsters? Had like a lever in the back if you pushed it the front of the hood opened iwth a mouth full of sharp monster truck mad teeth. I had like one of em, wonderin if anyone else was more of an enthusiest.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 06/02/2004 11:07 PM

I <3 kinder eggs. And crashtest dummies.

Chestnuts roasted by Erin @ 06/02/2004 11:08 PM

I love your articles and glad you’re finally back.. and I know it’s nothing you can help, but some of those pics blurrier than an old magnavox.

Chestnuts roasted by The Blue Meanie @ 06/02/2004 11:08 PM

Man, it’s about time someone notices the CTD comeback. And Matt, your just the one to do it. I remember I was at a yard sale, and I was picking up some Ghostbuster toys, and they also had this whole table covered with CTD toys. They had the cars, the little dummy figures, pretty much everything.

Oh, by the way, this is my first time posting.

Chestnuts roasted by Vinz Clortho @ 06/02/2004 11:27 PM

I found some unidentifiable toys in my closet and am happy to now know they were Sectaurs. Mine was a handpuppet spider-thing with a torso (back-side, I think a bug’s torso is his ass) made of what looks like and feels like real hair.

Chestnuts roasted by Hork @ 06/02/2004 11:27 PM

the wings on the sectaur bug mounts broke too easily. because of this wack workmanship the coolest toy i have ever owned lasted a good day. i had forgotten how depressing that was.
thanks for ruining my day. if it weren’t for those psa’s i’d go take a drive without a seatbelt now.

Chestnuts roasted by brendan @ 06/02/2004 11:36 PM

kinder eggs suprise I have no idea. When I was in honor society the supervising teacher had the group participate in a "saftey fair" and she would get 2 kids to dress up as the crash test dummies. Their costumes were worse than the ones Matt showed. They looked like a low quality verson of the CTD halloween costume that was made in the mid 90s.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 06/02/2004 11:53 PM

If Kamala pumps your gas, does Kimchee wash your windshield? It’d be a shame of he doesn’t. I hate nothing more than seeing unemployed masked safari leaders.

Chestnuts roasted by King Shazbot @ 06/02/2004 11:55 PM

Do you remember the Car Crash Dummies TV movie? It was done in really crappy CGI. Something about a mad scientist…

Chestnuts roasted by Lucky Cat @ 06/02/2004 11:58 PM

O.o i think teh first one is spider… and teh second one is jerry from tom and jerry… my thoughts lol anyways first time posting here matt your a genius ^^ you deserve an award and your own god damn tv show. X’D

Chestnuts roasted by Majin @ 06/03/2004 12:32 PM

For the first one I’m gona guess a skunk, although that’s 2 letters away from rank, but it does smell foul.

Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 06/03/2004 12:35 PM

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!I have been killing myself trying to remember the name of the human/insect guys (the guy that came with the flying glove critter, another bad guy with a shiny round green head, and a good guy wearing blue and white with his legs broekn off and rubber banded to him) for a week now! I just found three of them mixed in a bag along with some old She-Ra’s, rubber bands and shower curtain rings (don’t ask) in a duffel bag in my closet.

Chestnuts roasted by Dragon @ 06/03/2004 1:00 AM

I so remember that one to grow on ad with the kid wrecking the antenna. Kinda weird but its one of those things thats stuck with me for a long time and I’m reminded of it every once and a while. I think it was the bad acting

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 06/03/2004 1:12 AM

I had one of the Crash dummy airplanes. It was one of my favorite toys as a kid. Unfortunately, I lost one of the engine cover pieces, and it’s just not as much fun anymore.

I remember the figures being REALLY trigger happy. Any slight movement would cause them to fall apart. Really a poor, cheap design.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/03/2004 2:15 AM

Yes, the monster trucks that changed into weird animals were called "Attack Pack". The story was that a bunch of monster truck drivers were hit with a meteor (Or toxic waste, or gamma rays, or whatever) and bonded with their monster trucks, as well as with an animal. Apparently they liked to drive around the Serengheti in monster trucks.

The first run had three normal sized good guys (Who turned into a Tiger, a Scorpion and a Tarantula) and three normal sized bad guys (Who became a Rat, a Bat, and a Hyena with a face on its tongue. I don’t quite remember what the rationale for that was), as well as two super-sized vehicles, one each for the good guys and the bad guys. The good guy super vehicle had a crane that it could use to put bad guys in a little jail cell on its back, but I don’t remember what gimmick the giant bad guy had.

For some reason the leader vehicles on both sides were the lamest, having no gimmick except for being trucks with mouths. The other guys had things like bat wings or scorpion claws or a tongue with a face on it.

Anyway, for a while there that was all there were, but eventually the line did well enough to include airplanes and spaceships, who as I recall had bonded with plants, rather then animals.

Anyway, despite being popular enough to be included in a Happy Meal, they don’t really seem to have any kind of presence at all on the internet.

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/03/2004 2:32 AM

Oh, also, my recollection was that the lead Dummies in the cartoon were called Slick and Spin rather then Vince and Larry.

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/03/2004 2:35 AM

I had that original crash test dummies car. It served as an excellent vehicle for when Lando Calrissian, and Cobra Commander hit the sauce a little to hard and should have called a friend, handed over the keys, or taken a cab. It served as a solemn reminder to those Joe and Stormtroopers that Alcohol and driving, while exciting, shouldn’t be mixed.

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 06/03/2004 2:52 AM

I’m glad someone besides me notices their short cartoon skits on the fox-box. I REALLY hope that there doing that to build popularity so they can return to doing safety messages. I know the era of weird PSAs is over, but It would SUCK to have the dummies back without them returning to their roots.

Speaking of which, Matt, Is there any chance that the old "dark" Crash Dummies PSAs will make their way on your ’80s commercials section? I loved those as a child and, I’d REALLY love to see those again.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/03/2004 4:08 AM

I just bought at my local wal-mart a crash test dummies figure!!!It’s very similar to the original(you can press a button and explode them) but they’re more cheaply made.But hey,who cares?THOSE ARE THE FRIGGIN CRASH TEST DUMMIES!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by paul the wine guy @ 06/03/2004 6:24 AM

I had the Crash Test Dummies toys! I wish I still had them as they were some of the cooler toys for me. There was nothing like crashing a car into the wall, having it crunch up, and watching the dummies fly through the windshield with their limbs popping off. Good stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Lauren @ 06/03/2004 6:29 AM

I loved Sectaurs when I was a kid. I had both of those puppets with the flapping wings. The wings broke a lot, but I still had fun with them.

And I remember the crash test dummies as well. I love toys that you can take apart and put together again, even if you’d keep losing parts like I would with the dummies. I also remember a radio ad where Vince and Larry did their own rendition of "On The Road Again" which was pretty funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 06/03/2004 6:38 AM

To anyone who enjoyed VH1′s I Love the 80′s miniseries- Guess what? I Love the 90′s is coming July 11th. Get the tapes ready.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/03/2004 7:24 AM

The new ones are a lot cheaper. Also they have weird faces. The new ones are gay.

Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/03/2004 8:07 AM

I remember going to… I think it was fair, and they had the Crash Test dummies there. I was only about 4, and I was curious. I thought, they being dummies, NOTHING could hurt them. So I walked up to one of them randomly and pretty much punched him in the stomach. My punch wasn’t tough enough for an adult, so he seemed painless. So I tried on the next dummy. This time, a kick in the danger zone. SUCCESS! The dummy was in pain. *sigh* goodtimes.

Chestnuts roasted by Chachi_Danger @ 06/03/2004 9:14 AM

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004 at 6:39 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.