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The Crash Test Dummies Oh!

Sorry about the lack of updates lately -- I've got some stuff going on that's eating away at my net time, but hopefully that'll all be figured out soon. I'm vague out of necessity, believe me. Anyways, there's a new article up, finally bringing the infamous Crash Test Dummies to X-E. Vince and Larry began their quest to make everyone on the planet buckle the fuck up nearly two decades ago, eventually branching out into more important avenues like action figures and video games for the Sega Genesis. Tribute includes their history, their pictures, their new toys, and a completely understandable intro about the Sectaurs cartoon. Also, got some new Kinder Eggs. Guess what's inside...

Go on, guess. I'll tell you tonight. Here's two clues:

It's but a letter away from rank
Which is to say foul
It has many eyes on its backside
And I've never heard one howl

You've seen this character before
Battling with whiskerface
Shares a name with the Superman-obsessed
Eating dairy in a tiny spot

I mean, isn't it obvious? Give it a shot, I'll post the results tonight.

Posted by Matt on 06/02/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 123 comments
1 2 3 … 5

First comment? w00t!

I have no idea what’s in your Kinder Egg, Matt. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 06/02/2004 6:41 PM

I don’t like where "Eating dairy in a tight spot" is going…

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 06/02/2004 6:52 PM

Sooo glad there’s a new article up. Sadly, that’s the highlight of my day today. No offense Matt.

Also I don’t know what’s in your Kinder Egg either, riddles make my head hurt. Where did you get them anyway?

Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 06/02/2004 7:05 PM

Yay ! Matt came back, I’m sorry for doubting you Matt.

God I loved those crash test dummies, one of my favorite figures. Also I remember I lost a leg off one of them which made me so sad that I rang the distributors to see if they had any spare – They sent me one free of charge, now thats customer care.

Chestnuts roasted by Pablo @ 06/02/2004 7:06 PM

Sectaurs were cool, and I remember Matt covered them before.

Didn’t the Dummies have their own series? Maybe not, but I thought the local Fox station aired it here.

Beware of Max Headroom masks: "On Nov. 22, 1987, video hackers managed to override the Chicago PBS station’s broadcast of ‘Dr. Who’ for 90 seconds and replace it with a signal beamed from their secret location…" http://www.tvparty.com/unseenf.html

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 7:16 PM

A letter away from rank?

Battling whiskerface?

Is the letter away "K"?
Is whiskerface Splinter?

Is it Krang?

Nah, I’m useless at riddles too… but at least I had a guess!!

Thanks Matt, you’re a genius! I remember the crash test dummies game as being absoloutley rubbish. I played it when I was a kid and I’m sure it lasted all of 2 minutes. my mate bigged it up saying it was "hilarious" when he lost his legs… I, unfortunately found it quite sad and not at all hilarious… I haven’t spoken to that particular friend since that incident.. although we did have a fight at school once, probably about which dummy was the best at losing limbs.

Chestnuts roasted by The Ross @ 06/02/2004 7:16 PM

OK, I’m thinkin’ Frankenstein.

Frank is a letter away from rank

Seinfeld was obsessed with Superman

wiskerface could be the wolfman, I think they’ve fought before…

Chestnuts roasted by DrB @ 06/02/2004 7:32 PM

Well, Egg 2 is Jerry from Tom and Jerry Fame. Egg 1 I don’t know.

Chestnuts roasted by goblin22 @ 06/02/2004 7:39 PM

Whoo! What a comeback! This is the kind of article I love to read.

Matt- the Dummies are already making a TV comeback, at least on Fox. If you watch the FoxBox Saturday morning block, you can catch some Flash-animated shorts with the new dummies (Yes, they do have names). However, they lack any sort of safety tips, and they just plain lack Vince and Larry’s charm. A failed comeback, this is.

And on a sadder note, you know that one of the original duo was voiced by Lorenzo Music, right? Poor Mr. Original Garfield passed away a coupla years ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/02/2004 7:40 PM

And looking at that previous post, I’ve just realized that I need to cut down on the use of the word comeback.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/02/2004 7:41 PM

There was indeed briesfly a CGI CTD cartoon.

I also remember meeting a CTD at a thing they used to do here called Kids Fair. They had cartoon characters, mascots, and some celebrities signing autographs and giving away free junk.

Speaking of PSA’s, does anyone remember when NBC did cartoons they did this thing during breaks called "One To Grow On" where celebrities from NBC shows (Michael J. Fox, Jason Bateman, Mr. T, and the occaisional movie star) would show us a scenario, talk about, and show us the consequences. The one I remember most is the "Pick up your toys or your mom will fall down the stairs and break her leg." It did have cool music and animation too.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/02/2004 7:50 PM

Ahh, I see. I posted before the split and thought each stanza was describing the same product. Egg 2 does definitely sound like Jerry.

I’d guess a peacock for the first… I’m not sure what else to make of the "eyes on its backside" comment. "Fowl" would be a letter away from "foul", if a peacock counts as a fowl… I dunno.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 06/02/2004 7:53 PM

Kamala pumps your gas?

Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 06/02/2004 8:08 PM

Heheheh
I wanna know too
And I used to have crash test dummies when i was little…=D

Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 06/02/2004 8:09 PM

I fondly remember the Dummies when I was a child. I had some of the old toys. They were the kind that borke easily, I’m afraid. Except for the car, but I’ve lost it all now.

I remember them having a computer rendered TV special so they’d have an excuse to have villains for the toys and the video game. I believe that were made out of old spare parts or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 06/02/2004 8:40 PM

The CGI cartoon was only a single pilot episode. Aired twice on the Fox network. But the Dummy’s are back in more ways then one, as they’re now appearing on the new "Fox Box" lineup, only as interstitials though. Seems like most people think the Dummys are only funny for 1 minute at a time.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike C. @ 06/02/2004 8:40 PM

JLAJRC, I remember the "One To Grow On" about peer pressure where the teenager is coaxed by friends to break an antenna off a car. He then finds out it was his fathers. The best one was when the kid made a Halloween mask out of a plastic bag. Those old NBC PSAs have mutated into the modern "The More You Know…" ones they have in primetime.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 8:51 PM

Oops, he finds out it was his father’s new car.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 8:51 PM

It’s Jerry.
You know, Tom and Jerry’s Jerry.

Chestnuts roasted by Discharger @ 06/02/2004 9:04 PM

Great article! I remember these two suckers from their commercial and then more, uh, hyped cartoon as well. Enjoyed the Sectaurs too! As always, thanks for the new article and keep that nastalgia comin’!

~Ambition makes you look pretty ugly.

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/02/2004 9:37 PM

I had a boatload of the original Crash Dummy figures, including All the bad guys, two cars, two motorcycles, the dog and cat, the plane, the ATV and the fat one whose eyes bugged out. Spare Tire, as he was named.

Anyway, yes, smashing the figures repeatedly into walls did tend to break their delicate interior springs, meaning that their heads would never stay in again. This meant that, over the course of the series, we ended up buying about fifty figures. Also, as with every other toy I ever had, I managed to lose all the pieces.

The bad guys were kinda neat looking, being made up of old car parts and abandoned Dummy limbs, but they didn’t pop apart, so, really, what was the point?

Anyway, yes, I remember the CGI Dummies show, as I had it on video. I have no idea where we got it; probably it came with one of the figures. I used to watch that thing all the damn time.

It still takes me a few seconds to remember my phone number, but I can sing the Crash Dummies theme song: "When there’s no hope in sight, the crash crash dummies will make things right…"

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/02/2004 9:45 PM

Jesus, that brought back recently resurfaced memories. We had to watch a movie on trafic safety (not one of those crappy outdated Driver’s Ed ones with celebrities from 10 years ago, a network television-quality one) for a science 24 unit on physics (cleverly disguised as "Driver Safety"). The movie, near the end, had a voice-overdubbed copy of the classic ads. I knew that everyone in my class remembered the ads, they were just too afraid to admit it. It made my face turn bright red. :(

Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 06/02/2004 9:50 PM

Whatever is in those eggs can’t possibly be better than Frostor, the Kinder Warrior from whom I take my name.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 06/02/2004 10:12 PM

Yeah, I recall the CGI cartoon. If I remember right, it was about an evil crash dummy that steals the body of another Crash Dummy. See, the Crash Dummies lived in a society in a strange world where crashing cars was fun. Hurray!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 06/02/2004 10:14 PM

I never got into the Incredible Crash Dummies toys,as they were a little after my time (I was in high school when they came out,IIRC). I do remember a Crash Dummies doll being seen in the movie Airheads,when Steve Bushemi and Adam Sandler are in a Toys R Us.

I remember those ‘One To Grow On’ PSAs NBC had,also. One I remember the most was Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garret) telling kids not to eat so much.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 06/02/2004 10:21 PM

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