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06/02/2004: The Crash Test Dummies Oh!

Sorry about the lack of updates lately — I’ve got some stuff going on that’s eating away at my net time, but hopefully that’ll all be figured out soon. I’m vague out of necessity, believe me. Anyways, there’s a new article up, finally bringing the infamous Crash Test Dummies to X-E. Vince and Larry began their quest to make everyone on the planet buckle the fuck up nearly two decades ago, eventually branching out into more important avenues like action figures and video games for the Sega Genesis. Tribute includes their history, their pictures, their new toys, and a completely understandable intro about the Sectaurs cartoon. Also, got some new Kinder Eggs. Guess what’s inside…

Go on, guess. I’ll tell you tonight. Here’s two clues:

It’s but a letter away from rank
Which is to say foul
It has many eyes on its backside
And I’ve never heard one howl

You’ve seen this character before
Battling with whiskerface
Shares a name with the Superman-obsessed
Eating dairy in a tiny spot

I mean, isn’t it obvious? Give it a shot, I’ll post the results tonight.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 122 comments

Well its about time the Crash Test Dummies made a full article appearance here, I’ve been waiting too long for it. And I was not dissappointed. Tastefully done as always. Thanks

Ghosted by Dcleenr @ 06/06/2004 10:51 AM EDT

Anyone know where I can download some of the early Crash Dummies PSAs, or any other creepy PSAs? Thanks.

Ghosted by Michael Flynn @ 06/06/2004 2:07 PM EDT

My original hopes for this article were that there would have been a background song by the Crash Test Dummies – Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, GOOD!

I don’t where Jerseys I’m 30 plus, gimme a crisp pair of jeans nigga, button-ups!

Ghosted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/06/2004 2:17 PM EDT

the only ICTD toy I had was the same rip apart doll that appeared in Airheads but the velcro gave out before too long and the only part I have now is the poor guys head stuffed in a box in my basement. I also loved Sectaurs and like most of us here had the handpuppet bug monsters But I also was the proud owner of the only big wheel that was cooler than my bratty neighbors transformers one the almighty Sectuars big wheel! was basically a big wheel with the head of Spidrax hand puppet COMPLETE WITH FLAPPING WINGS! Sadly The right wing got snapped off during a tense big wheel race between me and the previously mentioned brat neighbor when I clipped the street light cuz I was busy looking back and gloating at the win. I later yanked the left one off just so it wouldn’t look stupid anymore :(

Ghosted by KryptAngel @ 06/06/2004 6:19 PM EDT

nice article. i can remember owning a vast array of CTD toys, including a large playset that had a number of crashing stations including one with a chair that a crash test dummy action figure could be seated in and, at the push of a button, would but hurled into a brick wall. apparently this was used to illustrate the danger of not buckling up when you sit in any chair, lest they get inexplicably thrown into a wall. although i would imagine buckling up would not save you from injury in that situation. i did learn that if i were to be thrown into a brick wall that my arms, legs, and head would fire from their sockets.

id also like to note that that one photo with the two dummies holding the orange seat belt check sign was taken at my local mall in South Portland, Maine. The tell-tale sign was the crappy 20-year-old cylindrical sheraton hotel that can barely be seen in the background. i found this interesting because photos from the state of Maine dont often just pop up anywhere.

Ghosted by conman16x @ 06/06/2004 10:59 PM EDT

I remember having the crash test dummy toys. I think they lasted for about a week before I crashed their car one too many times. I remember my father saying "why the hell would you buy a toy just to break it?"

As for the sectaurs, I remember very little about them, except for having the main good and evil characters, and having this one smaller insect that looked like an 8 legged dog. Pretty wacky stuff but very cool at the same time

Ghosted by pete @ 06/07/2004 6:56 AM EDT

From some random website (Googled ICD)

CHARACTER BIOS

Crash – Crash is the blue Dummy and is the Chielf of the Incredible Crash Dummies. He is usually found banging into walls with cars and even other dangerous stuff. Crash doesn’t seem to care when he slams himself in a 700-Mile Per Hour speeding car into a brick wall.

Splice – Splice is the red Dummy who is usually testing out explosive things. Splice is a big trickster who likes to play pranks on the other Dummies. When Splice feels like he needs a nice hard crash or explosion he’ll usually go insane and lose a few body parts.

Crunch – Crunch is the yellow Dummy who has no fear, but when this Dummy takes a hard hit he is usually crunched. That’s why his name is Crunch. Crunch does not care when he gets a big bang he just simply smiles.

Gyro – Gyro is the white Dummy and he tends to very dumb even though they pretty much all are. Gyro is usually testing the most dangerous things and doesn’t feel a thing, but he can see a lot like a broken arm.

Ghosted by saber_pv @ 06/07/2004 9:04 AM EDT

We had crash test dummies… once on vacation we forgot the poker chips so we bet body parts instead.

Ghosted by Kim @ 06/07/2004 3:17 PM EDT

Don’t y’all about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"?

Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school….

Ghosted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 2:48 AM EDT

Don’t y’all forget about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"?

Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school….

Ghosted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 2:48 AM EDT

Don’t y’all forget about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"

Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school….

Ghosted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 2:49 AM EDT

I apologize for having three straight posts like that, damned Adelphia cable…

Ghosted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 2:50 AM EDT

Crash test dummies…
reminds me of a freaky dream I had when I was like 6. I was playing at the top of the stairs with my crash test dummy toys (yeah, they were awesome) and one of them fell from the second story, so I went to go get it, but I fell too. It was more frightening when I was a lot younger.

Ghosted by Ryan @ 06/10/2004 4:23 PM EDT

Oh wow. I remember there was a crash test dummies T.V show. I taped one episode that was HILARIOUS! I used to love that show.

Ghosted by Lena K14 @ 07/01/2004 2:27 PM EDT

Well, I just got one Ebay lot of stuff. Too bad that most of the figures inexplicably have at least one body part missing.

The only complete one is the classic purple Spin (or is it Slick?).

Still, at least I have Hubcat and a mostly working Skid the Kid.

Also, as a desperate plea: are there ANY Crash Test Dummies fan sites out there? I’d love to know if there was a toy guide or something.

Ghosted by Ian, Just Ian @ 07/01/2004 3:50 PM EDT

you website sucks ass

Ghosted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 8:29 PM EDT

you website sucks

Ghosted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 8:29 PM EDT

you website sucks

Ghosted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 8:29 PM EDT

you website sucks

Ghosted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 8:30 PM EDT

Hello,

We need to contact the makers of the crash test dummies as soon as possible..
Could you please contact us?
Many thanks

Ghosted by Lukahead @ 08/24/2006 8:33 AM EDT

Wow, I never thought of it that way.  Having seen the stuff doled out in the 90s, & being unfamiliar with the concept of corporate brainwashing back then, I associated the toy-line more with the dummies than the PSAs.  I did see some of them however, like Vince getting his head crushed in the hydraulic press to show what happens to your head if you don’t wear a safety belt, Larry slapshotting a hockey puck into Vince’s face, & then doing some sort of excersize with the seatbelts before they’re rushed into a wall before they even have a chance to put them on.  However, your article’s a real eye-opener.  I think I’ll look up some of those old PSAs on Youtube.

Ghosted by James Porter @ 10/25/2008 8:59 PM EDT

i think it´s a monster figure

Ghosted by andra @ 02/25/2010 1:45 PM EST

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004 at 6:39 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.