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05/25/2004: Shrek Crap: Volume IV!

In what for the good of mankind must be the last Shrek-related article to ever appear on this site, I present the fourth and final installment of Shrek Crap Our last look at the ogre’s massive attack on everything sold everywhere includes his revamp of Milton Bradley’s Operation, a wacky dress-up kit and a Play-Doh set that lets children create & mutilate Shrek’s teeth just for the Hell of it. The movie’s out now and doing extremely well. Is it because it’s really funny or because everyone ate the green popcorn?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 168 comments

i guess now that it’s a ‘box office success’ we can only pray for more…

Ghosted by jigga @ 05/25/2004 4:37 PM EDT

Has anybody seen the dodge ad’s associated with Shrek, what grown adult is going to make a 30,000 dollar purchase because it has a green ogre as the spokesman, well besides me that is :)

Ghosted by Naveed @ 05/25/2004 4:49 PM EDT

Hey, Matt… did you get my e-mail about Shrek invading the crane machines?

You might have to do articles on Spider-Man 2 now… did you hear there will be Spider-Man advertisements on the bases at MLB games within the next few weeks? It’s too much, damn it.

Ghosted by JDK @ 05/25/2004 4:53 PM EDT

Now that Shrek is in theatre we can now await the Spiderman 2 marketing blitz to hit full force.
And, oh yes, there is already talk of Shrek 3.

Hit the grocery store today. Has anyone else seen the "summer" candies that Hershey’s is putting out? Ice Cream flavored Kisses (Strawberry and Double Fudge) and Pina Colda White Chocolate Almond Joy (Pineapple flavored coconut basically and it isn’t half bad) just to name a few

Ghosted by Emperor_Zorak @ 05/25/2004 4:55 PM EDT

I look forward to the Spidey 2 blitz. Already started picking up the notables. :)

I didn’t get the e-mail about the Shrek crane. Something must be fucked with my acct; this is happening a lot lately.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/25/2004 4:57 PM EDT

What, no Shrek-themed Queasy-Bake Oven?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/25/2004 5:06 PM EDT

I can’t wait for the Spiderman 2 blitz myself. Finally, a merchandising attack from a movie I actually give a damn about :)

Ghosted by Number5 @ 05/25/2004 5:11 PM EDT

http://atlas.walagata.com/w/jdk/crapstation3a.jpg

It’s a crappy picture, but you can see the Shrek sticker in the corner and Donkey’s ass sticking out on the bottom. There were about 7 Shrek dolls in there… it was an intense experience. Of course, the only item I tried getting was that cling-on Spidey.

Ghosted by JDK @ 05/25/2004 5:21 PM EDT

Retailers are complaining that Shrek 2 is hurting their sales b/c people are going to see the movie rather than shop. Cnn.com article. ridiculous.

Ghosted by Pedro @ 05/25/2004 5:28 PM EDT

why is the "Onion Breath" not located *inside* Shrek? Does Onion Breath cause tumors?

Ghosted by Ashayne @ 05/25/2004 5:33 PM EDT

At the local Burger King there’s a giant Shrek inflatable on top of the restaurant that makes it looks like he’s climbing over the side of the building. It’s really cool.

Any chance of a Spideycrap article when that movie comes out?

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 05/25/2004 5:51 PM EDT

I have seen a Doc Ock figure at Wal-Mart! Finally! But maybe too many Spideys on the racks. Kinda like the hundreds of BatMan varients that were out from Kenner. Viking BatMan?

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/25/2004 5:53 PM EDT

With all the marketing blitz, it’s a good thing the movie is actually relly good. But if those are really what I think they are in the third photo, then maybe it’s gone just a weeee bit too far.

Ghosted by Freezair @ 05/25/2004 6:02 PM EDT

IMO, the movie really is that funny. I’m still sick to death of all the Marketing…I certainly don’t remember all of this stuff for the orginal Shrek.

As for "Shrek 3," I say if they can make the second sequel every bit as funny and original as the first one, go right ahead. Just hold down the marketing blitz this time around.

Ghosted by Cameron @ 05/25/2004 6:03 PM EDT

Is it just me or is Operation Shrek wearing Spiderman underwear?

Ghosted by Dane E. Coffey @ 05/25/2004 7:05 PM EDT

All this Shrek crap and I can’t even find a single Master of the Universe figure? For shame.

Ghosted by Cannibalizer @ 05/25/2004 7:34 PM EDT

All this Shrek crap and I can’t even find a single Master of the Universe figure? For shame.

Ghosted by Cannibalizer @ 05/25/2004 7:34 PM EDT

I cannot help but stare at that picture of the hulk wearing the shrek version of the hulk hands. Just something about it awes me.

Ghosted by Bright Noah @ 05/25/2004 9:00 PM EDT

Speaking of e-mails, Matt, did you get the photog-boxing-photog e-mail?

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/25/2004 9:16 PM EDT

Blue Lazer has stolen the Cobra Commanders! They’ll be unable to finish the Chia Plot!

Blue Lazer Commander: Capture the Cobra Commanders!

Gunhaver: Quick Everyone! To the Reynold’s Apartment Extreme Playset!

Blue Lazer Commander: Destroy the Playset!

*Firebert blows up BL’s base, setting the Cobra Commanders free*

Blue Lazer Commander (to one of his minions): I just HATE you SOOO MUCH!

The Cobras are saved! Now they can finish the Chia Plot!

Gunhaver: Good job, Cheat Commandos!

Cheat Commandos! Rock, rock on!

Ghosted by Reinforcements @ 05/25/2004 9:23 PM EDT

What is a "photog" anyway?

And what does Matt do with all the junk he must buy for his articles? Is he taking up 3 Public Storage lockers now? Or does he hold a garage sale once a month?

Ghosted by Mars @ 05/25/2004 9:29 PM EDT

I would love for Matt to hold a garage sale. I would fly all the way to New York from Calgary just to witness it.

And for the record, I have an even stranger "Operation" game–it features a Tyrannosaurus, and one of the items to remove? A perfectly spherical egg. The best part–instead of a terrifying buzz when you screw up, you get an aggravating and disheartening ROAR (and, as always, the object becomes avoiding said roar).

Ghosted by Sean @ 05/25/2004 9:44 PM EDT

With all the Shrek crap, there’s one item in stores that Shrek won’t put his face on but Spider-Man will–Bounty paper towels.

Ghosted by Luap @ 05/25/2004 9:59 PM EDT

Upload a new article ASAP because the shrek looks like that creepy pokemon with the big wig and its creepy.

I’m putting pudding pies in my animation secret-like.

Ghosted by Piscez @ 05/25/2004 10:31 PM EDT

They also have Shrek Dunk-a-roos with green icing and Shrek cookies

Ghosted by Bus Hecksong @ 05/25/2004 10:44 PM EDT

Oh, they’re actually planning TWO new Shreks. We’ll have green popcorn quadraniually until 2012!

http://www.tiscali.co.uk/news/pa/photos/galleries/20030828/0828/medium/3.html

Ghosted by Piscez @ 05/25/2004 11:17 PM EDT

And so ends Shrek’s reign of terror on X-E. ‘Twas a good run. :)

Btw Matt, the comments link on the article leads to the TMNT pudding pies entry. Fixeroo?

Ghosted by Wes @ 05/25/2004 11:47 PM EDT

Shrek 3 will be even worse..

Ghosted by Cyanyde @ 05/26/2004 12:38 PM EDT

Burn in hell, Shrek.

Ghosted by Trent @ 05/26/2004 3:46 AM EDT

Has Shrek 3 been confirmed? I’d hate to see the media blitz that would come with that. You’d have the White House painted green, and the president dressed as Shrek… not a pretty thought.

Ghosted by Patrick, Ace Doorknob Salesman @ 05/26/2004 3:57 AM EDT

I’m afraid ’tis true. Shrek 3 and 4 are comin’ for you. Shrek weapons of mass destruction are in the works as well. Shrek adult diapers and hunry man breakfast soon to follow.

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/moviearticle.php?artID=414

Ghosted by Blah...blah @ 05/26/2004 9:35 AM EDT

They put way too much effort into all this crap. I was at the grocery store yesterday and there was a big swinging mechanical Puss-in-boots swinging over bottles of Sierra Mist.

Ghosted by Cobra Soldier #18 @ 05/26/2004 9:48 AM EDT

The cinerama dome in Hollywood had the ENTIRE theater covered by Shrek’s head.
http://galella.wireimage.com/GalleryListing.asp?navtyp=gls=1=6==63148

Ghosted by Sweetie @ 05/26/2004 10:18 AM EDT

I’ve seen that swinging Puss-in-Boots display as well. It’s in the front of the store I work at every day. My guess is, as soon as the hype for Shrek 2 dies out, it’s gonna be changed into Spiderman swinging over some Dr. Pepper.

Ghosted by Number5 @ 05/26/2004 10:36 AM EDT

The next person to post is an idiot.

Ghosted by alfonso the bat @ 05/26/2004 11:33 AM EDT

:(

Ghosted by a piece of milk @ 05/26/2004 11:33 AM EDT

Yay for the Hulk Pinata!!

Saw Shrek 2- it wasn’t bad, but it would have been a LOT funnier if they hadn’t put most of the good stuff into the trailers and other advertisements. Or if I hadn’t seen them so many times already. :(

"Wonderfully absurd, it may just be the strangest Play-Doh item ever made."- maybe, but I’d say that the Play-Doh George Foreman grill thakes the cake.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 05/26/2004 11:47 AM EDT

The next five people to post will have fame and fortune and fuzzy kitties and pancake breakfasts and all the women will marry men who are tall and handsome and look like Abraham Lincoln and all the guys will marry girls who are tall and pretty and look like Wonder Woman.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/26/2004 11:51 AM EDT

Well, yay! We dont get nearly half as much of this Shrek shit here in the u.k. The last time we got completely blitzed with this crap was for Finding Nemo. Anyways, cant wait for spidey 2,even tho 1 sucked in my opinion, but im a comicbook geek so ho-hum.

Ghosted by -->oscam<-- @ 05/26/2004 12:20 PM EDT

Yee-Haw! Wonder Woman is lasso-ing the syrup as I speak!

Ghosted by Blah...blah @ 05/26/2004 12:21 PM EDT

i dont think anyone mentioned the video game.. since i work at a game store i get 30,000 kids screaming at their parents "GIMME SHREK 2 GAME OR I’LL SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!"..
and i ate the shrek swirl ice cream too, but im pregnant so i have a semi legitamate reason to eat the multicolored flavor disaster with those soggy candycoated rice krispies.
all of this makes me dread walking to the store for a cherry coke. shrek makes me icky.

Ghosted by KittyToast @ 05/26/2004 12:24 PM EDT

I’m only posting because King made me. I like fuzzy kitties. Oh and Sean it’s cool to see that I am not the only Calgarian. Go Flames Go.

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 05/26/2004 12:26 PM EDT

That Etch-a-Sketch disturbs me. It looks like the ears move…BUT WHAT DO THEY DO?!?!?!?!

Ghosted by Seth Christenfeld @ 05/26/2004 12:28 PM EDT

I haven’t seen Shrek 2 yet. I’m waiting for all the little kids to see it so I’m not stuck in a theater with hundreds of stinky kids and their parents. So maybe I’ll see it by the end of next year.

Operation always scared me as a kid. I finally got my dad to take out the battery that makes the buzzer go so I wouldn’t freak out and throw the board every time the tweezers hit the edge. I had poor cordination as a child.

Ghosted by Stacey @ 05/26/2004 1:35 PM EDT

i saw Shrek 2 last night. it wasnt terrible, I liked it. However that dentist thing has officially forced me to question the existence of god.

Ghosted by julia badtouch @ 05/26/2004 3:21 PM EDT

Hey gang! Guess what I got in my box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch today? Not one, but TWO Shrek watches! And…THEY GLOW IN DA DARK! IN THE DARK I TELL YOU!!! Whoo! oh yeah…uh-huh…it’s my’h birt-dey….shake muh booteh! whoop-whoop! <—-(idiot)

Ghosted by donkey turds @ 05/26/2004 3:22 PM EDT

I’m just glad I’m not the only one that finally couldn’t play Operation anymore due to fear of the buzzer. Shot my nerves all to hell and destroyed my dreams of becoming a surgeon.

Ghosted by Orin @ 05/26/2004 3:39 PM EDT

Holy crap. Did you see the Shreks coming out of the roof of Burger Kings? I’ve seen three!

Ghosted by rtjrj @ 05/26/2004 4:09 PM EDT

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