X-Entertainment | X-E goes miniature golfing!

X-E goes miniature golfing!

Heyyy, we went miniature golfing. The "Safari Amusement Park," featuring a course littered with dirt and broken animal statues, has long delighted the locals around these parts with its charming blend of pastel-colored golf balls and a mysterious "19th Hole" tucked away inside a Tiki hut. They've also got gas-powered bumper cars, and they're very proud of this fact. Not the best mini golf course in the world, not the worst mini golf course in the world, but it's the only one I've seen with anatomically correct lion statues. Share in the adventure.

Posted by Matt on 05/17/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 100 comments

1 2 3 4 Next »

If I recall there are some cool mini golf places down in Seaside Park. However lasttime I was there was 1993 so most likely those places shut down…

Chestnuts roasted by Beaker Mike @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

hey, i’m about to go mini golfing tonight myself! but unfortanately it’s a really swanky clean place with no violated statues or dark scary rape cabins.

oh well.

Chestnuts roasted by plagiarise @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Oh man! Another article in the span of time it took me to read about the Kool-aid man adventures, the Gremlin growers, and lazerblazers! Jeez, Matt, you really crank these things out. I love’em though! I think I’ve read about 75% of your site in the past week. Damn, I need to get another job….

Chestnuts roasted by Herbert of the 3rd Circle @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

you know, I think I’ve been to that mini-golf-course…but wait I’ve never been to the northeast corner of the U.S. perhaps safari joe has a twin brother w/ a twin golf course??? our local m.g.c. is acctually in pretty good shape, and their other attractions are a shitty water slide, and strange shapped basketball hoops. you know now that I mention it I should go take pictures and write an article about it….I’ll make my own tribute web site about amusement parks, or maybe I should just stay my lazy self….suggestions anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Man, you back-easters and your minigolf courses! You don’t know minigolf until you’ve lived and played in Arizona! Ever try to find a small green ball in the midst of a cactus patch? Ever played in the middle of the summer when it’s 115 degrees out, just because there’s nothing else to do? Ever sweat enough to fill up the fake lake that is essential to all minigolf parks? No? Well, lemmie tell ya, it ain’t fun.

Why would you put a cactus patch on a minigolf course, I’ll never know.

Chestnuts roasted by Bob @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Matt, man, damnit… Great article, but all the disgusting images have left me extremely lightheaded…. baby worms, urine, fecal matter, … Crap, I thinks I’s gonna frow up now…

But nice touch with the feral children.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

My first post on X-E. There’s a rundown go-kart place in the south of my city, and it’s minigolf course is just as bad.

Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Great article. I haven’t been mini-golfing in a long time, but I think I’ll ahve to now. I wish the m.g. at Mall of America was still open, nice place – but they replaced it with Cereal Adventures (a theme park for General Mills cereals) which is about 1/100 as interesting as you’d think it be.

Chestnuts roasted by Emperor_Zorak @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Matt have you ever been threatened to be sued for slander? And if you’re a true masochist at heart (and you must be), you should try Biss Tours. Old people in unexotic places equals fun.

Chestnuts roasted by skiwlz @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

I would have payed the 6 bucks just to marvel at the lion asshole, and maybe carve my own piece of history in one of the fake hippos.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Hey… the shoe in picture 26 looks a lot like mine! Laces or buckles?

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

There is a mini golf place i used to go as a kid. In lieu of making the course difficult by making twists and turns, they just had this hole with a very steep anthill with the cup on top. If you didnt get it on the first try forget it, you were gonna hit that ball 300 times. The only good thing about the course was the arcade attached to it. It had NARC.

Chestnuts roasted by fix up look sharp @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

I should be so lucky to have taped-together m.g clubs – my local features a length of hardened garden hose with a club head (is that what they’re called?) stuck in the end. I shit you not.

Chestnuts roasted by Louis Tully @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

The best mini-golf place used to be at the Freehold Raceway mall.

One of the holes was a giant broken teacup. That had plaster people drowning in it! (If I remember correctly, you had to hit the ball off one of the silent screaming heads to get the hole).

Damn thing gave me nightmares.

Chestnuts roasted by Lucky Cat @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Wow, that place looks horrible.

Best minigolf place ever? Pizza Putt, in Burlington VT. Just a massive sprawling track inside some sort of renovated warehouse. Filled to the ceiling with plaster/wood sculptures of random crap from around the world… Its rad.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

By far the best mini-golf place I’ve been to is Scandia in Southern Calfornia. It’s a classic mini-golf area, with traditional windmills and ponds and stuff, but it’s clean, and it’s got a huge arcade, a go-kart race trak, and one of the most awesome inventions in modern entertainment… BUMPER BOATS! Like Bumper cars, only wet!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Hmm…The Worst Miniature Golf Course I ever went to included a a half molded/delapitated rotting coffin on hole 13, and at one point, 3 naked showering men-think maniquins- with large black oily streaks all over there legs. These holes were also filled with water, mud, leaves, SPIDERS (I don’t like spiders) Needless to say, it was an incredably crappy course.

Chestnuts roasted by two_peep_army @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Speaking of mini-golf in Jersey… I remember the strip along the beach in Cape May had the best mini-golf places. All kinds of cool things to hit the ball through… a cannon, all kinds of animals, the usual windmill, bridges, a huge 15 foot dinosaur, etc. I remember one of the courses had this big alligator. You hit the ball in its mouth, and it rolled all around inside its body, and then came out its ass. Seriously.

Chestnuts roasted by XTacy @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Is that the place you can see when your on the parkway? i always wanted to go there when i was a little kid… im glad i didnt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

you are on our wavelength. So I’m trying to say is that you are most prestigious compared to my most scrambled thought process

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Mini golf RULES!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

Actually…that shoe looks alot like one of mine too. *points* Did you steal my shoes Matt? I promise I won’t be mad just tell the truth? ———————————————-(silence)————-FINE I’LL FEED YOU ASS TO CHEWBACCA, chewy, get him
Chewbacca: “arrrgggh”

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

jeepers, I meant your not you, I’ll feed your ass to chewbacca

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

The coolest mini golf course i’ve seen was in Nashville. It was in a mall… and completly blacklit. It was the best, everything was glowing different neon colors, man you would think you were on somthing.

Also… Matt, what happened to the Chia Plot? You cant just leave us hanging… or can you?

Chestnuts roasted by Destro's Love Child @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

I played at a mini golf course in Fort Steele, British Columbia a few years ago that was also a petting zoo. It was a pretty nice course compared to the other 3 I’d played at previously on that vacation.

The bad part about this course was the vertitable horde of miniature Donkeys which made this unholy sound every five seconds making our beer drinking/mini golfing trip kind of unpleasant.

That’s it, nothing really gross or bizarre occurred. Sorry, sickos.

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 05/17/2004 2:31 PM

1 2 3 4 Next »

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Monday, May 17th, 2004 at 11:22 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.