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X-E goes miniature golfing!

Heyyy, we went miniature golfing. The "Safari Amusement Park," featuring a course littered with dirt and broken animal statues, has long delighted the locals around these parts with its charming blend of pastel-colored golf balls and a mysterious "19th Hole" tucked away inside a Tiki hut. They've also got gas-powered bumper cars, and they're very proud of this fact. Not the best mini golf course in the world, not the worst mini golf course in the world, but it's the only one I've seen with anatomically correct lion statues. Share in the adventure.

Posted by Matt on 05/17/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 100 comments

Had kinda a long story about going to Putt-Putt in lawton, but to lazy to reconstruct it. Boiled down: Running around counting coup on each other with putters, brother-in-law obsessed with winning any game, wierd baseball/pinball thing that gives out baseball cards, and a MK machine that lokks like it was raped by the Tekken machine. That, and the fact that I am Zen Master of the One-Handed Putt.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/20/2004 3:35 PM

have ta love the lion’s three nostrils

Chestnuts roasted by CWH @ 05/20/2004 4:08 PM

That place has go karts and shit now. i havent been there in years, but the one off the ghiway, near todt hill road is much better.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 05/20/2004 8:08 PM

Is this the same crappy place on Arthur Kill road?

Chestnuts roasted by drdank @ 05/21/2004 3:47 PM

I finally played mini golf for the first time in years about a month ago. The course wasn’t too bad though. Myrtle Beach, about an hour and a half from here, is the place for mini golf. Or as it is called down here, putt-putt. Myrtle Beach is a big golf area, with courses all over and lots and lots of mini golf. None as bad as the one Matt went to.

Chestnuts roasted by Susan @ 05/21/2004 4:38 PM

My high school cafeteria still sells Flintstone push-ups. I love those things. ONly truly crazed establishments can sell those things anymore.

Chestnuts roasted by Lady Yate-xel @ 05/21/2004 9:09 PM

My high school cafeteria still sells Flintstone push-ups. I love those things. ONly truly crazed establishments can sell those things anymore.

Chestnuts roasted by Lady Yate-xel @ 05/21/2004 9:09 PM

Well, it may not be the West Palm Beach Country Club, but it’s the only game in town.

Anyone from NJ old enough to remember the 20ft tall fiberglass Paul Bunyan who wielded a HUMONGOUS golf club guarding the Putt-Putt on Rt 35 North in Chadwick/Ocean/Ortley Beach?

I swear-to-god he looked just like a bearded, smiling James Garner. Or maybe he looked like that guy who used to paint "happy little trees" on PBS.

I’ll bet there was no assholery(good word, King Shazbot) going on in THOSE links lest you get whacked with that nine-foot golf club by a teed-off (swear to god, no pun intended) 20 ft tall fiberglass giant.

Sadly, the jolly giant must have had a falling-out with the Putt-Putt management, because last I saw, he was employed 75 miles north, guarding a carpet retail store in Jersey City off of RT 440 by the Pulaski Skyway, sans club (did he learn Judo?).

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 05/22/2004 12:06 PM

There’s a place to go Black Light miniature golfing in the Katy Mills mall down here in Texas. I ain’t been yet, but it seems mondo to the max.(That phrase rules)ANd the Ninja Hockey player from Running Man was named Sub-Zero I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 05/22/2004 4:32 PM

that place is in staten island. im always there. the course sucks.

Chestnuts roasted by rob @ 05/24/2004 10:07 PM

I’ve had many a pre-teen first date at this place. It might be a sucky minature golf course but it’s a great first step to first base.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 05/25/2004 10:21 AM

Cha Cha Chia!

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 06/01/2004 10:28 AM

Perhaps the bumper cars are there soley for the amusement of the feral children.

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 06/04/2004 9:10 PM

Hey! I’ve got those same Kenneth Cole shoes!

Chestnuts roasted by Chicago Guy @ 06/09/2004 3:48 PM

I thought for a second you were examining the same mini-golf course that got destroyed by Bam Margera in Jackass: The Movie.

Nonetheless, a hilarious read!

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/12/2004 2:47 AM

wow umm dam i hope it was free

Chestnuts roasted by CA sucks @ 06/20/2004 5:06 PM

LMFAO…

that course is on staten island on richmond avenue.

that place is truly horrible… i was about 16 [7 years ago] when i went there and skull-fucked that bengal tiger [its eyes were gouged out!]

Chestnuts roasted by RobAtPace @ 07/06/2004 1:05 PM

Man is all that shit real! cause if it is that fucked up mini golf course is the worst place on earth. That includes Newark in the summer and nothing is worse than Newark in the summer!, But at least the good part is it was funny to read.

Chestnuts roasted by Mohak @ 07/08/2004 10:35 PM

Hey Matt didja snatch a Ball?

Chestnuts roasted by Tad @ 07/14/2004 11:26 PM

Hey Matt didja snatch a Ball?

Chestnuts roasted by Tad @ 07/14/2004 11:26 PM

I used to work at Safari Amusement. I started as crappy mini golf attendant picking cigarette butts out of the lion’s ass. Then I was promoted to batting cage guy, where I’d have to hand-feed the balls into the busted arm-mangling hopper while people shot line drives at me. By the end of my short term there, I had been made Go-Kart master, where I was run over no less than 8 times. My claim to fame- I was the first person to ever ride those gas powered bumper cars. They weren’t any less shitty then.

Chestnuts roasted by Doornob @ 09/14/2004 2:17 PM

P.S.-I still rock my bright yellow Safari Amuesement staff tee shirt every once and a while.

Chestnuts roasted by Doornob @ 09/14/2004 2:20 PM

Safari Golf on the corner of Richmond Avenue and Arthur Kill Road in Staten Island? I live right near it. And I’ve played night golf drunk several times.

Chestnuts roasted by Danny DeLz @ 02/12/2007 10:12 PM

hey I work there ! ! ! this not that bad

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 04/27/2007 3:05 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 17th, 2004 at 11:22 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.