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Shrek Loves Stamps & The Scary Movie Poll.

Well I'll be! Thanks to those who posted about Shrek's biggest victory of all: a partnership with the United States Postal Service. It's nuts and I still couldn't give less of a shit about the movie, but jeez, archiving the insanity sure is a lot of fun. Speaking of which, I picked up two larger Shrek items for review, but that'll have to wait for the weekend.

In fact, everything else will basically have to wait till the weekend, too. Got some schtuff to do this week, I'll tell ya about it later. I wonder if I'm having surgery? Anyway, this'll be a cold week in terms of the full length articles, but I'm going into the trenches prepared with enough materials to keep the blog rolling. On deck for tomorrow night right here is a small tribute to something cold, sweet and somehow Mexican.

Meantime, let's get another survey going. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? I'm not talking so much about retrospect: what's the most you've ever been scared by a movie, even if later viewings didn't pack the same kinda punch? For various reasons, some illegal, my pick is always gonna be Jacob's Ladder. Not joking when I say that the film fucked me up for months, with brought-on complexes ranging from fears of mirrors, trains, passing cars and generally any open empty space. You need the right environment to really collect the feelings this one is capable of throwing at you, but when the mood's right, it's just damned disturbing and relentless. Your turn, in the comments.

Posted by Matt on 05/10/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 267 comments

Some documentary about Nostrodamus I saw on HBO a long time ago. How long ago? I remember when HBO used to go off the air at like 2:00 in the morning. That and the melting Grimace ad in the 70′s. I can usually explain my quirks, but I just don’t have any reason for freaking out at a puddle of Grimace. Those "Blair Witch" kids got what they deserved, though. But being from a culture that gets much of the same attitude from tourists, and working here at a Native American art gallery might contribute to such feelings. As for "Poltergeist", I laughed at the peice of meat inching it’s way along the counter. If you think those sentences were slightly disjointed, you should see what goes on inside my head.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/11/2004 12:12 PM

If you liked (if ‘liked’ is the proper word) Jacob’s Ladder, I have a couple of recommendations.
The first is Kubrick’s "The Shining." Man, everyone’s seen it by now, but that movie creeped me out to ultimate levels as a kid. Those hacked up twin girls… the fellating man in a dog suit… but most of all, that decaying woman in the shower. Jeez.
The second is a relatively unpopular film: John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness. See it late one night in the dark. Parts are very silly, but… as a whole, the film is very, very effective. It is a grim, hateful little film on par with Jacob’s Ladder for strange moments.

Chestnuts roasted by Master H @ 05/11/2004 12:27 PM

Silent Hill 3. It ain’t a movie, but damn, that game was as scary as Van Helsing is bad. Playing it in a dark room with the sound turned way up… freaky as hell.

As for movies, probably the Exorcist. Saw it rereleased in theaters one Halloween a couple years back, and it was just spooky as anything. The only thing that really cheered me up after that was when we shut the group asshole/skeptic up afterward by reminding him that it was based on actual events. And even so, it was a loooooooong night. Honorable mention to The Last Broadcast, AKA the original (and far superior) Blair Witch Project. A lotta people raved about the Ring, but… enh.

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 05/11/2004 1:15 PM

Matt, one last item you forgot to review is still out there. . . that crappy Shrek DVD! Eddie Murphy as a Jackass wasn’t bad, but I hear now that Antonio Banderas will have a role as Puss in Boots – go figure!

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 05/11/2004 2:19 PM

Oh, my scariest movie – had to have been the first Poltergiest movie – at the drive-in! Scared shitless as a little kid, and yet still had nowhere to run. All these cars surrounding you and only to go hide for solace was the woods near the big screen – F* That Shiznit!

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 05/11/2004 2:21 PM

Illegal reasons made "Deep Blue Sea" pretty freaky for me, but in terms of gibbering childhood fear, that part in Dream Warriors where Freddy rips the veins out of the mute kid and puppets him around…ugh, it gives me the willies right now. Word to those who got scared of Are You Afraid of the Dark (Watcher’s Woods, eeek!) but did anybody else freak out at the "Zeke the Plumber" ep of Salute Your Shorts? Most embarassing admissions: the commercials for Fire in the Sky (still haven’t seen it, never will) and Night of the Leapahs. It nice to see that I’m also not the only person who could be sent into hysterics by a TV theme song, too.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/11/2004 2:33 PM

The scene in Nightmare on Elm Street…I think 4, where Freddy makes this girl’s face fall off and she turns into a giant cockroach before he squishes her. The funny thing is that I’m usually fascinated with bugs, but seeing them in extreme closeups is one of my greatest fears.

I was petrified by the head popping out in Jaws, the Nazi massacre at the end of Raiders, and Donovan aging to a skeleton in Last Crusade so badly that I avoided seeing them for a while. But when I finally did, I wasn’t freaked out at all(Except for the head, which still makes me jump.).

The last two are from kids’ movies, and they’re ones I’ve heard countless times: The tunnel scene in Willy Wonka and Ursula in The Little Mermaid. I don’t dare watch Willy Wonka unless it’s on TV, where that scene is thankfully edited out, and I don’t know if I’ll still be scared of Giant Ursula since it’s been a while since I watched that movie. The fact that she still gave me the willies when I fought her in Kingdom Hearts is a bad sign, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 05/11/2004 2:38 PM

two words.
large marge

Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 05/11/2004 2:55 PM

Oops…I mean "The Woman In Black". And just thought of another, "Zombi 2" had a scene where a piece of wood slowly sank into a lady’s eye which makes me freak out now anytime something comes near my eye.

Chestnuts roasted by Cobra Soldier #18 @ 05/11/2004 2:56 PM

You have good taste in films, Matt, assuming that you liked Jacob’s Ladder in addition to being scared witless by it.

I don’t scare easily, but when I was a kid the two films that scared me most were House and The Gate…the former because that witch thing was just too freaky, the latter because our house was newly built and I kept thinking that maybe one of the construction workers had died and had been sealed up in the walls. Plus new homes, like old homes, make all sorts of strange noises…

And Candyman didn’t scare me much, but it sure terrified the crap out of the people I watched it with back in middle school…and my bravery was praised when I dared to go into the bathroom alone, turn out the lights, and summon the C-man myself. Alas, he never came, but I hear he likes to take his time with these things.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 05/11/2004 3:17 PM

There’s no way of knowing…
(he’s singing)
Which direction we are going.
There’s no earthly way of knowing…
(knowing)
Which way the river’s flowing.
Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
.
.
.
.
.
Who wants chocolate?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/11/2004 3:17 PM

Ok, here’s another odd one – the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I haven’t seen the movie in years, but I get the willies just thinking about him.

The guy had a pale face, sunken eyes and a long nose, and was dressed in a dark suit. He came around with this wagon that had lots of candy and toys, and lured the two children out of their hiding place. Once they were close, he trapped them in the wagon, which was really a cage. Whatever he was singing just added to the horrible feeling.

Oh man, he creeped me out permanently! And I’ve always been a huge fan of anything that’s really scary – The Shining, IT, Poltergeist, Carrie, The Ring, etc. This guy just had an aura that said "I’m coming to get you."

Chestnuts roasted by Suelo @ 05/11/2004 3:28 PM

I accidentally saw "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" when I was around 6. That movie messed me up! Especially when they drink the peoples blood out of the cotton candy death traps! Ack! But I just watched it not too long ago…it’s pretty damn cheesy…but to a 6 year old it’s hell.
Oh yeah Childs Play freaked me out too. My mom even chased me out of a store with a Chucky doll. The Chucky trying to murder me nightmare’s FINALLY Stopped!

Chestnuts roasted by Jenner @ 05/11/2004 3:39 PM

For some reason as a kid, Ernest Scared Stupid was the movie that freaked me out the most. I was real little when it came out, but I started screaming and crying in the theater from the monsters in the movie. Also the ghosts from the Mario Brothers games freaked me out, I would play till I got to the castle where the ghosts follow behind you, then I passed the controller to my brother to finish that part for me.

I was a wuss as a kid apparently.

Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 05/11/2004 3:58 PM

IT has to rank has to at the top for me: damn sure.

And for only a small related reason I was scared every time i flushed the toilet. I even jogged away…

Chestnuts roasted by CWH @ 05/11/2004 4:00 PM

You forgot to mention the Child Catcher’s long, stringy hair, and weird stovepipe hat. And the fact that he can "smell" children. Ever notice out-of-place spooky things in kid’s movies? Like the crows gang-flocking ScrewEyes in "We’re Back," leaving only his screw behind? Or the Camel with the Wrinkled Knees freaky visions of home in "Raggedy Ann and Andy?" And the aformentioned Blue Meanies, especially the leader, the way he talks all quiet and sweet, only to SCREAM LIKE A CASE OF WORM IN BRAIN IN ITS LAST STAGES! Of course, there are those folk who hate Flying Monkeys.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/11/2004 4:00 PM

I remember when batman first came out, that movie scared the crap outta me! I was a youngin at the time and Jack playin the joker was more than any kid needs to be scared silly.

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 05/11/2004 4:01 PM

We watched The Amittyville Horror the night we moved into my dad’s new house. That was pretty freaky. My dad was sitting by a window in the living room and a cat jumped up at the screen, just like it does in the movie. Woah! Then, there was the "Based on a true story" rumors – hey, anything could have happened in this house before we moved in.
Uh, yikes?

Was anyone else freaked out by the pink elephants in Dumbo?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 05/11/2004 4:02 PM

I also remember when the Muppet christmas carol came out and I went to see it. Me and a billion other little kids crammed into the theater, and the movie started, only it wasnt the movie we went to see. I don’t remember the exact name of it but it was some Dracula movie and the first 5 minutes was shown to a theater of little kids, who were all crying afterwards and angry parents mobbed the manager. Those 5 minutes had so much blood and creepy stuff. Then they started the muppet movie and all was good again. It was a funny day. >:D

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 05/11/2004 4:06 PM

yeah the pink elephants freaked me out man!!! Little devils!!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 05/11/2004 4:07 PM

David Spade movies scare me.

Chestnuts roasted by alfonso the bat @ 05/11/2004 4:18 PM

I don’t mind the sight of worms,
Or even microscopic germs,
But Technicolor pachydems
Are really too much for me.
What’ll I do?
What’ll I do?
What an unusual view!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/11/2004 4:35 PM

Poltergeist 2 has this one scene that made me wig out as a kid and couldn’t remeber what movie it was from until a few months ago. It is where the son goes in the bathroom to shave and his braces go haywire and pin him to the ceiling.

Chestnuts roasted by Brite @ 05/11/2004 4:59 PM

Large Marge, Judge Doom at the end of Roger Rabbit, poltergeist, anything with clowns

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/11/2004 4:59 PM

stacey, I am very embaresed by it but Ernest scared stupid scared me too. we went to see it on holloween night at the theatres, and I had to leave about the time the demon thing caught the main little boy.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/11/2004 5:21 PM

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 10th, 2004 at 11:34 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.