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Shrek Loves Stamps & The Scary Movie Poll.

Well I'll be! Thanks to those who posted about Shrek's biggest victory of all: a partnership with the United States Postal Service. It's nuts and I still couldn't give less of a shit about the movie, but jeez, archiving the insanity sure is a lot of fun. Speaking of which, I picked up two larger Shrek items for review, but that'll have to wait for the weekend.

In fact, everything else will basically have to wait till the weekend, too. Got some schtuff to do this week, I'll tell ya about it later. I wonder if I'm having surgery? Anyway, this'll be a cold week in terms of the full length articles, but I'm going into the trenches prepared with enough materials to keep the blog rolling. On deck for tomorrow night right here is a small tribute to something cold, sweet and somehow Mexican.

Meantime, let's get another survey going. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? I'm not talking so much about retrospect: what's the most you've ever been scared by a movie, even if later viewings didn't pack the same kinda punch? For various reasons, some illegal, my pick is always gonna be Jacob's Ladder. Not joking when I say that the film fucked me up for months, with brought-on complexes ranging from fears of mirrors, trains, passing cars and generally any open empty space. You need the right environment to really collect the feelings this one is capable of throwing at you, but when the mood's right, it's just damned disturbing and relentless. Your turn, in the comments.

Posted by Matt on 05/10/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 267 comments

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Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Chestnuts roasted by Sandy Ham Ham @ 05/10/2004 11:39 PM


Not a movie, but I was once scared shitless by a halloween episode of The Hogan Family. I snuck into my parent’s bedroom to watch it after they had gone to sleep with the tv on. There was a quick scare shot of Jason Bateman as a zombie, and I ran screaming into my bedroom.

Chestnuts roasted by KMC @ 05/10/2004 11:49 PM


Candyman scared me before I even saw the movie. I just heard about it and became piss scared of mirrors.

The book House of Leaves feaked me the fuck out though. I just read it for the first time recently too. I am also 21 and got scared by a book…yeah I am lame.

Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 05/11/2004 12:07 PM


The "Alien Autopsy" thing. I found it cleaning out my room the other day, and it resurrected memories of a slumber party during which we all slept in our glass-doored living room and just stared outside until one AM… the cats kept bugging me.

Chestnuts roasted by Goz @ 05/11/2004 12:11 PM


Haven’t found a movie that really scares me.

Then again, that one movie with the fat green monster was weird…

Chestnuts roasted by Mathew Olson @ 05/11/2004 12:19 PM


I’d have to say the Dark Crystal one night also to do with illegal substances. Scared the bejezus out of me even tho I had seen it before. Lack of comprehension.

Chestnuts roasted by Ronald McTurdburgler @ 05/11/2004 12:22 PM


EEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

I F**KING HATED THIS MOVIE! I was so scared of it I used to have Night Terrors every night for years because of it. I was so sure ET was going to kidnap me and molest me. He was so ugly And his creepy voice gave me the jibblies! Don’t even get me started on when he turned all grey. I just hoped he’d die already! I remember one time my dad bought me some soda and some cotton candy that comes in those tin foil bags and sat me right down in front of the tv (in the rocking chair my grandpa made for me no less) telling me he rented a special movie for me. I hadn’t done anything to deserve such treatment but I figured just to enjoy it. I was fine but something about it didn’t feel right. When the opening of the movie started I literally began to scream my lungs out I was so scared… and ET wasn’t even on tv yet. the music set me off. I cried and ran to my room (I was like 5) and didn’t some out the rest of the day. My parent’s way of fixing my fear was shock and awe. They’d call me out whenever the movie, Reeses Pieces commercials, or those Halloween safety specials were on tv, only to have me scream and run to my room. Give me the choice between a date with ET or Charles Manson… a guy with a swastica forehead looks pretty good.

Did I mention they got me that movie when I was 8 or so that came with a free poster w/ this huge shot of ET’s face and hung it on the wall in my room? I think I had a mini heart attack at that tender age. Until I ripped it up and flushed it down the toilet did I feel purged.

Chestnuts roasted by Brite @ 05/11/2004 12:24 PM


SHREK IS EVERYWHERE

Chestnuts roasted by RESISTANCE IS FUTILE @ 05/11/2004 12:27 PM


I’m with Brite, ET, that movie still scares the shit outta me. My sisters got and huge poster of ET and Michel Jackson and used to torment me with it all the time.

-I hated Michel Jackson in the 80’s before he started touching little kids!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Jonas @ 05/11/2004 12:41 PM


I was very young when Ghostbusters was released on VHS. The beginning with the Librarian scared the shit out of me. It doesn’t now, of course. But at the time…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 05/11/2004 12:47 PM


The GB Librarian scared the shit out of me as well, though I had the misfortune of living through it in theaters — either at age four or five. I came back around by the time Stay Puft hit the screen, though.

Along the same lines, Jabba the Hutt frightened me so bad that I actually watched ROTJ in its entirety by staring at the 5" reflection coming off the projector up north in the back of the theater.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/11/2004 12:50 PM


The Hogan Family………that cracks me up!!! I used to be scared of the count on sesame street. The man was a FREAK. He was all purple andlooked evil and laughed maniacly about numbers. He was always just a little too happy…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/11/2004 1:10 AM


I can say one thing that scared me shitless was at the end of Bionic COmmando for the NES when they show the last boss’s head explode in slow motion. I was 7 at the time. I can’t believe Nintendo let that game slip through considering they were more of a family oriented company.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/11/2004 1:13 AM


When I was a kid nothing freaked me out more than either seeing the poster for Child’s Play 3 (Those eyes! UGH!) or seeing the face of CyberJobe (The Lawnmower Man). I saw both of those movies when I was older and wasn’t freaked out at all, but when I was a kid I couldn’t bear to see either.

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 05/11/2004 1:35 AM


I would have to say Tetsuo, aka Iron Man. Japanese crazy shit, with metal wires getting ripped out of peoples faces, dudes getting raped by an evil demon dominatrix, and really scary effects, all in black and white. Add to that the acid I was on at the time, making the screen more colorized than Ted Turner’s hair should be, and whew! That was THE scariest fucking movie I eveh done seen honey!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 05/11/2004 1:54 AM


oh yeah ps and shtuff at the risk of sounding crazy, but i’m just in that mood, if you were alluding to having surgery, good luck. i’ve gone thru a few or two.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 05/11/2004 2:00 AM


Holy crap, I just got an email from HP telling me about all the wonderful Shrek 2 HP Printing projects they have. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS STOP!!!!?!?!?

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 05/11/2004 3:05 AM


Either the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or the Shining.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 05/11/2004 3:20 AM


Choco Taco?

Chestnuts roasted by Bob @ 05/11/2004 3:51 AM


The Changeling. Geogre C. Scott. Circa 1980. Man, that kids voice .. creppy.

And thee Blair freaking Witch, I HATE that movie. Now I’m all thinking about it again, great, time to turn on the lights.

Chestnuts roasted by zero hero @ 05/11/2004 4:09 AM


JAWS. Growing up in Florida near the water, seeing that movie when I was like 3 or 4 years old in the theater (yes, that does make me one of the oldest people around here) seriously screwed me up for a looong time. I still get panicky when I’m in the ocean up past my ankles.

And speaking of screwed up, last night I saw three Shrek-merchandising tie-in commercials IN A ROW. As someone who found th first film moderately amusing, I’m already finding the sequel annoying as shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 05/11/2004 6:21 AM


The thing that scared me the most was actually a comic… There’s an Italian comic named "Dylan Dog" that follows adventures of, well, Dylan Dog, who is some sort of horror detective. In the story that scared me the most, he encoutered some sort of Freddy Krueger knockoff character named "The Wax Man". This fella came to life from scary stories that parents would tell to their kids to make them behave properly, and the only thing that could make him disappear was some sort of light…
I was eight or nine when I read that comic, and afterwards I made all sorts of "safety measures" to make sure "the wax man" wouldn’t catch me; I slept with a cross and a flash light under my pillow (I spent many evenings timing how long it takes me to pull out the flashlight from down there and switch it on), and also I made all sorts of bizzare rituals, like the famous "when I go to bathroom, if I’m not back in bed before the sound of water flushing goes away, I’m dead meat!" and many others.

Now, when I was two years old, we went to visit our neghbours (?) and their daughter, who was a year older than me, had one of those baby dolls that would cry if you pulled the pacifier (?) from their mouth… I was unaware such a beast existed, so when she gave me the doll to hold it, only to make it cry seconds afterwards, it scared the hell out of me… To this day I can’t stand such toys, so I guess that’s the reason why the scariest things I saw on TV would have to be that "Twilight Zone" episode where a doll comes to life and the clown scene in "Poltergeist"…
Also, some friends told me about "Hellraiser" a few months before I got to see it… The stuff I imagined was much scarier than the things I saw onscreen.

Whew, this is a long post…

Chestnuts roasted by Papa_Taz @ 05/11/2004 6:31 AM


I’m gonna have to go with legend of the overfiend….. very very spooky stuff especially with a headfull of acid and a bottle of wild turkey

Chestnuts roasted by Porkspam @ 05/11/2004 7:47 AM


The excorcist. My dad was watching it one night when I was supposed to be in bed, but I watched it while hiding behind his lazyboy. Man, I had to sleep next to the door with the light on for a week.

Chestnuts roasted by oldskool25 @ 05/11/2004 7:50 AM


I’d have to say Fire in the Sky with D.B. Sweeney as the guy who was abducted by aliens. I think what freaked me out was that they kept saying how it was based on a true story. And plus that whole probe thing made me remember me own abduction by aliens.

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 05/11/2004 8:06 AM


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