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Shrek Loves Stamps & The Scary Movie Poll.

Well I'll be! Thanks to those who posted about Shrek's biggest victory of all: a partnership with the United States Postal Service. It's nuts and I still couldn't give less of a shit about the movie, but jeez, archiving the insanity sure is a lot of fun. Speaking of which, I picked up two larger Shrek items for review, but that'll have to wait for the weekend.

In fact, everything else will basically have to wait till the weekend, too. Got some schtuff to do this week, I'll tell ya about it later. I wonder if I'm having surgery? Anyway, this'll be a cold week in terms of the full length articles, but I'm going into the trenches prepared with enough materials to keep the blog rolling. On deck for tomorrow night right here is a small tribute to something cold, sweet and somehow Mexican.

Meantime, let's get another survey going. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? I'm not talking so much about retrospect: what's the most you've ever been scared by a movie, even if later viewings didn't pack the same kinda punch? For various reasons, some illegal, my pick is always gonna be Jacob's Ladder. Not joking when I say that the film fucked me up for months, with brought-on complexes ranging from fears of mirrors, trains, passing cars and generally any open empty space. You need the right environment to really collect the feelings this one is capable of throwing at you, but when the mood's right, it's just damned disturbing and relentless. Your turn, in the comments.

Posted by Matt on 05/10/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 267 comments
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Ahhh… I absolutely abhor Shrek, considering that it was a bunch of bad animation with the same joke played over and over again, but maybe I was just to old for such mindless crap when it came out (although I thought I was a college freshman at the time). Irregardless, I must admit that when I first saw The Ring late at night for the first time, this time when I was a sophomore at college, I had to run out to the car and speed home. It really scared me, although I can’t really say why. I think it may just have been the flash of the girl’s corpse and the fact that they made the beginning seem like it was going to be a stupid, teeny, slasher-type movie really got me off guard.

As for when I was little, I have to agree that Ghostbusters gave me many nightmares, although I loved Stay Puft to death. I still do.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelly @ 05/22/2004 11:12 AM

Anybody remember that old Sesame Street skit where Kermit got teeth?

To a two year old, there’s nothing scarier, I assure you.

Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 05/22/2004 2:03 PM

Ok, so I was just reminded by my mom how I used to FREAK OUT when the Hulk came on TV. It used to come on Saturday mornings right after cartoons, and if I wasn’t paying attention, the opening would come on where he transformed and I’d freak. I wouldn’t even touch the TV to turn the channel (I swore he’d reach out and grab me!) I’d yell for my mom to change the channel.

Chestnuts roasted by Scaredy Cat @ 05/22/2004 4:06 PM

Does anyone remember a fake documentary thing on UPN that was composed of fake home video footage of a family that was supposedly abducted by aliens?
That messed me up. I’d love to see it again and laugh at how bad it is.

Chestnuts roasted by Mwarg @ 05/23/2004 1:18 AM

I’m really not sure what the scariest movie I’ve ever seen is, but I’m watching Mars Attacks, and it really doesn’t scare me now, but when I saw it in theaters when I was six, I was scared to death of anything in the sky, especially planes and stars. Aliens are really the only thing that really freak me out to the point where I’m afraid to go into the bathroom when nobody’s home because something might be behind the shower curtain. Oh great, now I think I’m scarred for life.

Chestnuts roasted by Meat Pöpsicle @ 05/23/2004 7:25 PM

Oh, I forgot. When I was about five, I remember going to my cousin’s house and watching him play this one game on his SNES…Zombies Ate My Neighbors. It was a really dumb game but it really did a number on me.

Chestnuts roasted by Meat Pöpsicle @ 05/23/2004 7:29 PM

Nightmare on Elm Street. I was 9 or 10 when it came out, and heard about Freddy from cooler friends who went to see it with older syblings, etc. Tweeked me out, I was so scared to go to sleep, and of course I dreamt about the bastard. Second place? Blair Witch Project (I go camping alot).

Chestnuts roasted by Brian Adams @ 05/24/2004 1:14 PM

I remember that "Phantasm" freaked me out for a few days when I first saw it at the drive in. Now, it’s kinda cheesy, but I was 10, so I was sure the Tall Man was around the corner

Chestnuts roasted by Francene Beck @ 05/24/2004 9:37 PM

oooh, Lucky One. The Last Broadcast was great!!!! Those guys got ripped off.

Chestnuts roasted by Francene Beck @ 05/24/2004 9:40 PM

Hysterical. Retailers are complaining that people aren’t buying things at their stores b/c potential customers are all out seeing shrek 2. Ridiculous. Half the crap at my local store is shrek crap anyway.

http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/25/news/economy/weeklysales/index.htm?cnn=yes

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 05/25/2004 2:07 PM

I’d pick the Unnameable as the movie that scared me the most. You never get a good look at the creature to the end of the film.

Chestnuts roasted by Whisper @ 06/02/2004 4:14 AM

I can only sort of believe that I’m the first to name these three (I did read through all of the posts; how sad)…

Lord of the Flies – the black and white version. I saw this when I was eight, and I haven’t seen it since. I’d like to, but I can’t find it anywhere… Anyway, it was the pig’s head on a stick along with the dia(mono?)logue. I was creeped to death (somehow I understood the psychology behind the story when I was eight years old) but within a year, I had read the book anyway. It’s still my favorite, partly because the ending is ambiguously dark. I don’t believe in happy endings when it comes to humanity…

28 Days Later – Say what you will, but Jeebus Cripes Almighty, THE MUSIC. Even though the army guys are ten times creepier and more sick than the infected are, it’s the music that really pushes this movie over the edge for me. The best parts for music are the empty London scene and military compound in the rain after Jim sets all hell loose. Not a scary movie, persay, but I don’t think it was intended to be. It’s more the psychological aspect and the ickiness of human nature that makes it scary. And the infected in the church. That still gives me goosebumps to think of…

The Wall – Ok, so I’m biased, being a huge Pink Floyd freak. This movie *is* rather creepy, though, especially considering my first exposure to it being at 2am when my brother tuned into the meat grinder scene. I couldn’t function for three months. That was a few years ago, so I’m over that, but I *still* can’t watch the part where Little Pink goes down into the bunker and finds Big Pink and Big Pink turns around and makes…that…face… I get chills just thinking about it. Eww. Inspired by and recounting real events and people from Roger Waters’s life, too.

Admittedly, I’m a sissy. I don’t care for pointlessly gory movies. I do like psychological stuff (obviously from my three choices), and for some reason, I have a sick fascination with creeping myself out during the day so I have to sleep with my head under the covers every night. I’m also a music nerd, so anything with eerie music, movie or not, really gets me…

As far as games go, has anyone played Parasite Eve? The first one, not the plotless and soulless sequel. Now that is a creepy game. The CG movie sequences are especially good. It’s also perfect for anyone who wants to fear their own mitochondria…

On a somewhat related note… If anyone is still on the fence about getting into anime or avoiding the craziness of it all, I’d have to say that anime and manga tell some of the best stories I’ve heard. There’s something for every taste. It’s *not* all hentai and schoolgirls, believe me.

Chestnuts roasted by EludedSunshine @ 06/04/2004 12:08 PM

Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
:sigh:

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/06/2004 10:45 PM

NES game called "The Uninvited" – I always got the creeps when the Southern Belle turns around to reveal a leering skull face. Does anyone else remember this? Oh, and after renting Maniac Mansion (NES), I had nightmares that I couldn’t get out of Dr. Fred’s dungeon.

The Ring flippin’ terrified me. At age 22 I had nightmares for weeks after seeing it on video (granted, it was late at night). It probably bugged me so much because I remember a video my uncle put together of my grandfather’s old movie-camera tricks – stop-motion stuff that looked like blocks were moving around, a house was building itself, etc. I hate to admit how much The Ring’s effects reminded me of that tape (which I now never want to see again!)

The only way I stopped being afraid of The Ring was to use my mom’s old trick of "make the scary thing seem nice" (funny, Prof. Lupin from Harry Potter does the same thing)… by making the dreaded "ring" shape appear like a happy smily face! :)

My sister and I used to be terrified of the Dr. Seuss Halloween Special with The Grinch and Yukariah Who (I think it was called "Grinch Night"). I just remember those creeeepy voices chanting "Yu-ka-ri-ah! Yu-ka-ri-ah!" over and over again!

When my family first sat down to Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (on video), my sister freaked out when Large Marge did her claymation stunt – sis bolted, wide-eyed from the room, stricken by silent fear.

Chestnuts roasted by Team Rocket Rose @ 06/14/2004 9:41 PM

too bad this is your last installment, i recently photographed an enourmous inflatable shrek taking over our local Burger King. im pretty sure the bigger-than-life ogre would have scared away any children that the marketing execs wanted to lure in. it even scared me alittle. he was huge

im not sure why they had a shrek at a burger king. maybe to promote the new green colored whoppers? who knows.

you can see my pic here:

http://www.geocities.com/gjhamblinhouse/shrek.jpg"> Shrek

Chestnuts roasted by Donkey Dick @ 06/15/2004 3:53 PM

Well, someone may have already said this, but I’m sure as hell not going to read an upwards of two hundred and fifty posts, so here goes:
There used to be this show on Nickelodeon called "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" and one episode scared the living shit out of me. I don’t even remember it all that well now, but I DO remember like, this anamatronic clown that would stand right outside the door of this kid’s bedroom, and open the door somehow (even though its arms were throughly welded to its body).
Now it wasn’t the clown that scared me so much as seeing that door handle turn with the PROMISE of that damn clown on the other side, so I have left my bedroom door open slightly ever since I was about six. Only recently have I been able to shut it.

Chestnuts roasted by Trout Spanker @ 10/28/2004 1:00 AM

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