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05/04/2004: A Christmas Story 2: Ralphie Goes To Hell.

Ralphie from A Christmas Story makes a devilish deal in Ralphie Goes To Hell, a wild thrillcoaster that’ll take the ovaltine drinkin’ holiday icon straight to the lair of Pinhead and the Cenobites. It’s not the Chia Plot, but hey look new article.

I’ll be back in a bit, with a super jumbo-sized blog entry. It’s actually a full length article that I’m pulling off deck. Just didn’t think there’s enough to it to warrant the main page treatment, but that’s part of what this section is for, ain’t it? It ain’t? By the way, I have fleas.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 96 comments

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Finally… i got sick of those stupid Tamagotchi’s glaring at me when i opened the main page. FOIST POST!

Ghosted by Gooble74 @ 05/04/2004 11:37 PM EDT

Man you got to be fucked up to make a Hellraiser/Christams story crossover. Good job Matt!

Did any of those hellraiser figures come with the puzzle box?

Ghosted by Bright Noah @ 05/04/2004 11:49 PM EDT

Pinhead does. There’s also a full-sized (but cheap, as it comes in parts) puzzle box for sale on its own.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/04/2004 11:50 PM EDT

On a completely unrelated topic, Matt have you seen the new Peanut Butter Toast Crunch cereal? Definitely deserves an article or a blog entry or something.

Ghosted by Luap @ 05/05/2004 12:11 PM EDT

Thers’s an interesting egg in one of the pictures. Look close.

Ghosted by Coke @ 05/05/2004 12:33 PM EDT

Ahh.. A Christmas Story and Pinhead.. finally united *snif* what a perfect world!

Ghosted by hugsnstuff @ 05/05/2004 12:58 PM EDT

So… where is the Barbie cenobite from? One of the direct to video movies I haven’t seen yet? Ditto on the females.

I have to get the puzzle box, I’ve always wanted one, woo.

Ghosted by marioshoku @ 05/05/2004 1:22 AM EDT

Ahhhhh…….How refreshing to see a story about Ralphie going to Hell. God knows how many times i’ve seen A Christmas Story. Sometimes I wish Scott Farkas could just beat the shit out of Ralphie. Speaking of Scott Farkas, do they make a Scott Farkas figure?

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 05/05/2004 1:46 AM EDT

can’t go wrong when combining the powers of hell and a family Christmas favorite…though i have been wondering when we are going to get the next installment of cobra’s chia plot…or as i like to call it…the greatest mini-series since the autobots came across the dinobots

Ghosted by self-proclaimed @ 05/05/2004 1:49 AM EDT

Whoa. That was messed up.

Oh BTW, the first Season of the Original TMNT cartoon is now on DVD. 10 bucks at Walmart.

Ghosted by Cameron @ 05/05/2004 2:04 AM EDT

Cameron-That’s awesome. I know what I’m doing as soon as i get back home to CA on the 7th.

Anyway, great job Matt. I’ve always loved A Christmas Story, and Hellraiser ain’t bad either. Furthermore, Ralphie does in fact belong in Hell because he lied to his mom after he shot his eye out (sort of).

However, don’t think for one moment that this is gonna get you off the hook. You still owe us the exciting conclusion to Cobra Chia Plot.

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:46 AM EDT

phunqsause- it’s not "Scott Farkas," it’s "Scut Farkus."
Don’t believe me? Look it up here:

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:51 AM EDT

phunqsause- it’s not "Scott Farkas," it’s "Scut Farkus."
Don’t believe me? Look it up here:

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:52 AM EDT

phunqsause- it’s not "Scott Farkas," it’s "Scut Farkus."
Don’t believe me? Look it up here:

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:53 AM EDT

Fuck. I gotta take HTML all over again.

Just enter this URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:55 AM EDT

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:56 AM EDT

There, I did it. I guess I’m not such a dumbass after all.

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/05/2004 2:56 AM EDT

I’m not sure I would have known that was Ralphie unless you’d pointed it out. My first guess would have been a Young Jim Gaffigan figure. Then I’d have to figure out why there are any Jim Gaffigan figures at all, let alone a Young Jim Gaffigan.

I’m gonna shut up and read the thing now.

Bye.

Ghosted by ChaosMonkey @ 05/05/2004 3:05 AM EDT

awesome. the monchichis were a nice touch

Ghosted by valarie @ 05/05/2004 3:32 AM EDT

Awesome job! Very funny stuff! BTW Great site!

Ghosted by Jarrod @ 05/05/2004 4:17 AM EDT

Excellent! Matt do you know where the MarshMellow Man is being sold? Will it be at Suncoast/Sam Goody or is it exclusively on the NECA site store?

Ghosted by Excellent! Matt do you know where the MarshMellow Man is being sold? Will it be at Suncoast/Sam Goody or is it exclusively on the NECA @ 05/05/2004 7:40 AM EDT

Sorry wasn’t paying attention the post above this one is mine. I’m such an ass.

Ghosted by Rowan Steele @ 05/05/2004 7:41 AM EDT

What exactly are monchichi’s. Are they monkeys or monkey/gerbil’s or what? I dont understand…

Ghosted by BettieBoo @ 05/05/2004 8:20 AM EDT

those cenobite chicks are from hellraiser 5 or 6, one of them has the guy that does the max paine voice. Pinhead is in them both a totall of 5 seconds

Ghosted by bob barker on smack @ 05/05/2004 8:28 AM EDT

Notice one of the girls grabbing Barbie’s crotch partway through the story?

Ghosted by Volkaru @ 05/05/2004 8:32 AM EDT

"We just got in a shipment of Monchichis."

Shoutout! Whoo!

Scut Farkus was played by Zach Ward, who went on to play Dave, the brother, on Titus. I love useless trivia.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 9:28 AM EDT

Did anyone else notice who was hiding behind the wood in one of the pics?

Ghosted by Cold Milk @ 05/05/2004 9:29 AM EDT

Scott Schwartz, A.K.A. Flick was straight up doing porn.

Ghosted by Stilewalker @ 05/05/2004 9:37 AM EDT

Funny Shiznit!

Ghosted by The King Lion @ 05/05/2004 9:47 AM EDT

I agree that Flick was posing for porn, no girl could resist that tongue. Since I’m already talking about sex, I figure it’d be ok so make fun of Matt’s milky balls…

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 05/05/2004 9:48 AM EDT

Crap me a new brain, it’s Cenobite time! YAY! CENOBITES RAWK! The "Barbie" one is from the first Hellraiser… one of the originals. And the Chatterer is my favorite! Bravo!

Ghosted by Nachokhaki @ 05/05/2004 9:56 AM EDT

Yeah, I saw those guys behind the Hell-Crating… a possible hint at the promised continuation of the Chia Plot? I hope so…

Ghosted by SilvaKrown @ 05/05/2004 10:08 AM EDT

I thought I was the only one who cared about and cherished A Christmas Story. Everytime I see the VHS that we used to tape it off TV I get a little bit nostalgic. The leg lamp…but Ralphie’s fantasy of coming home blind was a little disturbing. It still is.

Ghosted by CasinoRoyale @ 05/05/2004 10:23 AM EDT

Chia Part 5?

Ghosted by sixpointsix @ 05/05/2004 10:42 AM EDT

Matt, you’re an f’n genius!

GI’s in hell?

Matt what r u cookin up?

Also, Shrek was a really good movie and I’ve tried those fruit snacks and they ain’t bad either.

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 05/05/2004 11:21 AM EDT

Not just posing for porn, ANdrew. He an actual porn star. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0777432/

I didn’t really like Shrek. We’re a Finding Nemo sort of bunch, here.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 11:31 AM EDT

Went back and saw the Joe’s. Hee!Tittle! Guffaw!

Sneaky Joe’s.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 11:34 AM EDT

I saw a 1/2 scale leg lamp in a catalog once. Ragile, must be Italian.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/05/2004 11:34 AM EDT

The take on Ralphie’s boxer nose must be in part II.

I own this movie on DVD. Does this make me cool? Or, a dork? Only Matt knows…

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 11:37 AM EDT

A Christmas Story is my favorite movie ever, even above the original SW trilogy and the Gremlins flicks. So no, definitely not dorky to own the DVD.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/05/2004 11:40 AM EDT

Actually, there really was a sequel to A Christmas Story. It had two names, one of which was My Summer Story, and the other being It Runs In The Family. It had 99% different actors, and took place in the summer sometime after Christmas Story. Not nearly as good as the first, but it had a few moments (namely Randy’s fishing experience).

Here it is on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6304413408/qid=1083772174/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/002-3711605-5291267?v=glance&s=video&n=507846

Ghosted by a piece of milk @ 05/05/2004 11:50 AM EDT

Commander Frack?…..

Ghosted by FireFly @ 05/05/2004 12:02 PM EDT

It is six pm in South Africa now, so hi matt, I’m going to bed soon… major headache MADE WORSE BY LACK OF CHIA PLOT!!!!! Dammit Who is the ultimate warrior? Panthro? It has to be Panthro! AA rulz, bru. PS shipment of monchichis was nice touch! We don’t have any nice action figures here… I had a plush monchichi as a child… My brother stole it… Monchichi’s belong in a small wooden crate allegedly made to look like hell. Ha. Ha. Bet u’re having breakfast right now, so I’m about to have supper. Snarf and gravy, with veg. Yumyumyum. G’night.

Ghosted by eminentfreak @ 05/05/2004 12:08 PM EDT

We watched Christmas story in school in grade four but the teacher turned it off when ralphie said "fuck."
I still have not seen the end.

Ghosted by lemmywinks @ 05/05/2004 12:43 PM EDT

More like lunchtime here in EST.

Didn’t the baby Macauley Culkins play Ralphie and Randy in It Runs In The Family? A disappointment, although the plots surrounding the parents were pretty good (tax time, the gravy boat).

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 12:43 PM EDT

South Africa…… it’s like a whole other country.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/05/2004 12:44 PM EDT

The kid who plays Flick joined the porno industry because he found that he could do more than stick his tongue to a pole. Then again, maybe not…

Ghosted by CasinoRoyale @ 05/05/2004 12:46 PM EDT

Oh, yeah – do the figures come w/ the Bumpus’ dogs and the Christmas duck? Cuz that would just rule.

It’s good to know I am officially non-dorky. Whoo!

Rent it, lemmywinks. It’s worth the $5.

My five year old daughter caught a snake in our backyard. His name is Bob and is right now in an aquarium in the kitchen. I think Bob is giving me the stink eye.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 05/05/2004 12:47 PM EDT

You are such a fudging teast Matt! Not only do you make an action figure drama, when you know I’m setting my dreams on Chiaplot (note, that I will never have a best day ever because you ruined the one I predicted!)But I saw what was happening behind that crate! It’s just cruel. It’s not fair… Don’t we deserve it? Haven’t we been good? I tell you what, If you give me the Chiaplot I’ll umm…. well I don’t know, probably something involving the robots that came in boxes of OJs cereal for some inexplicable reason, or probably the ghostbusters episode where Larry Storch Guest starred, (Ghost Busters, not The Real Ghost Busters.) Aww cmon man, be a pal.

Ghosted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 05/05/2004 1:36 PM EDT

Hmmm… very nice. Yes, very nice. Good Work, Matt. I’d be curious how long it takes you to put together something like that?

Ghosted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 05/05/2004 1:55 PM EDT

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 4th, 2004 at 11:25 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.