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Does this thing work God dammit?

Hello, is this thing on? From One Fry 2 Anotha?

An e-mail from the weekend:

"dude i think the blog is brokeneded"

Well said, indeed it was. Friday marked the first blog meltdown since it's inception in October of 2002, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I probably would've choked myself to death with a coffee machine if my friend Kevin wasn't able to put it back together. Sure, it's silly stuff, but it's two,enna,half years worth of silly stuff. I feared the worst (I don't use any kind of posting system on the main site because I have such terrible luck with 'em), but looks like we're back to form without a single thing out of order.

Spent most of Sunday putting the finishing touches of several thousand Transformers-related articles going up on UGO next month. Three of 'em are DVD reviews, but I don't want to hold off on telling you that Transformers: Season 3 Part 2 & Season 4 and Beast Wars: The Complete Second Season are absolute must-haves for fans. The Transformers set even includes the semi-rare Rebirth trilogy, where some of the Autobots and Decepticons willingly allow their heads to be modified into baby robots. Also features the rare appearances of Fortress Maximus and Scorponok. The three-disc (!!!) set even has the Optimus Prime resurrection two-parter, plus a kickass chapter selection screen featuring a battle-damaged Rodimus skulking about a shuttlecraft. Awesome, and Amazon has it on sale.

The Beast Wars DVD is a two-discer, and jeez, I'd forgotten how much I love this show. It'll probably take new viewers three or four episodes to really see the glories within, but once you do, you'll be hooked eye swar eet. Back to Amazon, they're practically giving the sets away at just twenty-three dollars a pop. Can't ask for better than that. The other DVD review was for two quicky Armada titles, and all I'll say about those is that they failed at transforming (HA!!) me into a new fan. Oh well.

In case ya missed it, I threw a new article up on Friday. Simple stuff -- I get requests for more commercial downloads constantly, and had a bunch laying around that were either already mentioned or not beefy enough for a full tribute. So, the article has ten. With reviews and downloads, and a peppered background. My favorites of this bunch include the spot for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, and a weird old Bugs Bunny ad where he warns about the deadly dangers lurking in every kitchen everywhere every.

So, with the blog outta whack and, uh, all of the trouble in the Middle East, I eased my troubles with another spirited round of LET'S BUY FISH. Oh yes. Three of those painted parrotfish I bought a few months back died from that deadly "Ick" disease (picture dipping a fish in a bowl of salt, that's what they looked like), and the trio that survived looked healthy and happy enough to annoy with a NEW FISH INVASION. Thankfully, Petland is like, thirteen steps away from out apartment. Here's the new monsters:

An algae eater without a name. Everyone seems impressed at this guy's size; we were more impressed at how much he resembled a frog trapped in a snake's body. Unnamed Algae Eater simply strolls along the bottom, sticking his suction cupped mouth all over everything. Cute, but I can't shake the feeling that he'll disintegrate fast upon death. Not looking forward to scooping out gooey parts of Unnamed Algae Eater. Not this week, anyway.

We also nailed two pleco fishies, each pretty huge. One has the standard color pattern, the other has weird zebra stripes. I bet he feels cooler than his brother. I've got a tank full of semi-aggressives, but nobody fucks with the Pleco Pair. They're too disinterested and spiny.

Okay, my new favorite thing on the planet is this, a Geophagus Whatchamacalit. For simplicity, I named him "Wolfie," and happily narrate his thoughts as the beast glides through the tank, eating, inspecting and looking all cute n' stuff. "ME. WOLFIE. MARCH. TOWARDS. FOOOOOOD." Guess how long it took for my girlfriend to get sick of that one. I've seen fish of this type before, but never so large. Really, really beautiful creature -- it's got all of these funky glowy dots, lionfish-like spines and appendages, and eyes that absolutely positively lock with mine and thank me. Incredibly, the leader parrotfish (a yellow asshole with a God complex) constantly berates Wolfie, even though he's about half his size.

Wolfie has these two feathery strands that hang low while he swims. I've already made it known that, in the case that Yellow Asshole Parrotfish bites off either one of these strands, he's out in the sun in an empty Dixie cup. With a fucking bullet in his head, because Wolfie is worth the extra mile.

I think that brings us up to speed. Sorry for the downtime. Sorry for the -- oh wait, I did have one more thing. Looney Tunes cereal is about the closest thing to old school Trix we'll ever see. The fruity balls are a bit smaller, but it's so close to the old non-fruit-shaped Trix. And this discovery makes me smile. New article coming tonight, and it's an odd one. HUGE thanks to Killer Kevin for fixing the Killed Blog.

Consider this the comments section for the two latest articles, while we're at it.

Posted by Matt on 04/20/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 119 comments

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Matt,

Didn’t Jimmy Neutron have like chocolate fries too?

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 1:29 PM


Something like that…I know he had cinnamon. One of the three versions stayed around for a bit longer than the others. The failure was well documented in ad circles, actually — these things were an immense flop.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 1:30 PM


There’s a Mexican restaurant we go to around here (Don Pablo’s) that serves fries/tater tots or whatever the hell they are in letter shapes. My boy loves ‘em!

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 1:32 PM


Nice to have you back Matt.. I think I speak for most of us when I say we were pretty damn worried about you.. well not about you, about yer site :P

Anyway, Pots are scarey, I hate Wuzzles and those fish are damn cool.. Yay Killer Kevin.. we love yooooooooouuuuuuu!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 04/20/2004 1:32 PM


Them’s be some nice-lookin’ fish you’ve got there. I suggest naming the Unnamed Algae Eater Seth.

Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 04/20/2004 1:33 PM


http://www.nick.com/ads/ore-ida/

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 1:34 PM


Excellent detective work, WatJoe.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 1:35 PM


Matt could you please name the Algae eater "Chi-saga" or some derivative?

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 04/20/2004 1:53 PM


Those blue potatoes are some weird shit… how do(did?) they taste, I wonder…

Easter Pringles? Never seen ‘em. Seen Halloween Pringles, though.

As for the McCain smiley-fries, we’ve had those up here in Canadia for awhile now… they ain’t bad.

LBD "Nytetrayn"

Chestnuts roasted by LBD "Nytetrayn" @ 04/20/2004 1:59 PM


Okay, small update: everything except the weekly archives is fixed, thank God.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 2:07 PM


That would have to be some of the strangest stuff i’ve ever seen. But very funny. Didn’t your mother teach you not to play with your food though? ;) That backgroud you picked made me rather hungry as well.

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 04/20/2004 2:10 PM


Must…eat…faces. mmmmmmmm, smiles…..

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/20/2004 2:27 PM


Matt did u actually eat those blue fries? IF not can I?

i want to taste the O-So unnatural fries!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Freud Savage @ 04/20/2004 2:57 PM


McCain’s has a reputation of having cheesy ads in New Zealand.

"Ah, McCain! You’ve done it again!"

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (NZ) @ 04/20/2004 3:16 PM


"I don’t know. I’m potatoes."

"I wish I wasn’t potatoes."

Just struck me funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 04/20/2004 3:27 PM


I’m never able to find anything of that sort up here in Canada. Holiday Oreos, Holiday themed Pringles, coloured fries.. what a rip off. I guess the closest I’ve seen is green ketchup but I wouldnt come within 15 feet of that crap. Blue fries however…

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 04/20/2004 3:30 PM


Never thought that I would be laughing out loud at the sight of bags of frozen fries throwing up.

Great job, as usual. ^_^

Chestnuts roasted by Lynx @ 04/20/2004 3:46 PM


The new fishies are very cute. Big ups to Kevin for saving the blog!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/20/2004 3:57 PM


For some reason, the bags of potatoes remind me of the robots in the movie The Black Hole. Must be the eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 04/20/2004 4:21 PM


I think you should name your namless algea eater Death Urge Overdrive. Thats a totally kick ass name. And then you call im’ DUO for short.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/20/2004 4:29 PM


hooray for everything being fixed…

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 04/20/2004 4:36 PM


It’s a sad tale of potatoe poetry. But it don’t make much sense… reading this its the bags that are alive, not the fries. So in reality…they will live to the brink of non-biodegradeable immortality. And if Kool Blue can survive for years past his exporation date, perhaps there is still hope for all others.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/20/2004 4:41 PM


Thank you Kevin for fixin’ the blog. If I were British, I’d give you a snog.

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 04/20/2004 4:50 PM


I like ice cream.

Chestnuts roasted by a piece of milk @ 04/20/2004 4:51 PM


STOP BUYING CREATURES!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Bowser @ 04/20/2004 5:08 PM


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