X-Entertainment | Jaws: The Nintendo Game.

Jaws: The Nintendo Game.

The first guess was right, here's my review of the Jaws Nintendo game, where we battled with the world's most famous shark using spears, bombs, strobes and our own two hands. A pretty terrible game that still managed to bewitch a few people, it's hard not to appreciate an attempt to get Jaws out there in any way possible. Review includes Mrs. Sbaitso's audio version, and a lot of images aligned jusssst right.

Posted by Matt on 04/13/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 140 comments

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PS,
does anyone remember a NES game called Pirates? It was by far my favorite game, you started out as a dipshit with a boat, and then you could become either a pirate, or you could be an independent vessel supporting a military (either English, Spanish, POrtugese, or Dutch). Plus you could go anywhere in the CArribean sea and raid cities. I only know one other person who’s even heard of the game, and he’s a German.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/14/2004 5:00 AM

The Jaws article was a little strange…it was like something Mad Matt would have written in more than a few places. Throw in some "Huurrbh gurrrrvh" type groans and POWEE ZOWEE.

I always wanted to say that and I’ll thank you not to point.

Chestnuts roasted by Niq @ 04/14/2004 6:05 AM

Oh yes. I remember Jaws. I played it right when I was into my Nintendo obsession, making my mom rent a game for me week after week from the local Wegmans. Back then, it didn’t matter to me what other people said about any of the games. It was Nintendo, and that was all that mattered.

Jaws actually belonged to a friend of mine, who let me borrow it more than once, apparently seeing how much of a sucker I was. I played that thing constantly in the hopes of finally beating that damn shark, but it never happened. But that’s what was great about games back in those days, they were so impossible to beat, so you kept playing them. I think the only game I ever beat for the NES was Life Force, using the 30 ships cheat.

Anyway, great review, and the robot voice was the icing on the cake.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 04/14/2004 6:43 AM

Does anyone remeber the game they made of Friday the 13th for Nintendo? That game was my demise as a child. Jason would go through all my camp counselers in 10 min. or less. I had to hold back the tears of frustration everytime I played that game. Stupid Jason.

Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 04/14/2004 7:50 AM

LJN made Friday the 13th. That game gave me nightmares when I first played it. Jason was a beast in that game. And Jason mother’s head was really fun to fight. Review Friday the 13th Matt. You won’t be disappointed. Well the ending is a bit disappointing though. But the game kicks ass. As for Jaws, good game. But another crappy ending. Played Nightmare on Elm Street once. never beaten it. Maybe because it was another crappy game.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 04/14/2004 8:01 AM

Oh, thanks Sean. I think your post was what reminded me of the game in the first place.
http://www.atariage.com/manual_html_page.html?SoftwareLabelID=423

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/14/2004 8:11 AM

Joe: I don’t remember "Pirates," but it does seem to exist. Published by Ultra. Its on Mike Etler’s Rarity list (http://www.atarihq.com/tsr/nesrarec.txt). Seems to be pretty rare, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/14/2004 8:15 AM

Kudos to you Mr. Rowan Steele for beating that game. KUDOS. But what exactly happened in the end? Nobody I knew got to see that. Its a shame really…

Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 04/14/2004 8:39 AM

Just thought I’d add that while I’ve never played the NES "Pirates!", it sounds like a port of the very classic computer game by Sid Meier (later famous for Railroad Tycoon, Civilization, and other now-classics). I used to play it on the Commodore 64 all the time (there are good C64 emulators out there, look around) and I still think it’s one of the best games ever made…

Chestnuts roasted by robotsarered @ 04/14/2004 8:39 AM

Commodore 64 had some incredible games for it’s time. I loved playng Archon, Bruce Lee, Aliens, and even ghostbusters. For the life of me I could not figure out how to beat ghostbusters. I could never make enough money to make it to the next month and purchase decent equipment. I am going to have to find a walkthrough for that game.
I never figured out Jaws. I rented it once, but could never grasp it.
Great review, Matt

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 04/14/2004 9:21 AM

What program is it that converts the text so well?…I know it’s not perfect but it’s a lot better than the old program I used to have…I’ve been wantinga nicer one for a while

Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 04/14/2004 9:33 AM

I remember my old commador64….had this really scary Freddy Kreuger game (scary at the time anyways) and whenever you died a big red and black photo of a man with an axe in his head would flash up…I couldn’t even keep my legs underneath the computer desk I was so creeped ( I think I was 6 or 7)

Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 04/14/2004 9:35 AM

Where can I get a copy of the program that created the Text to Voice? At times it sounds EXTREMELY NATURAL.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryo @ 04/14/2004 10:10 AM

Bettie Boo: Being nearly two years since I’ve beaten it on a NES Emulator, I just remember it takes three times to beat Jason. First time, They show Jason fall on his ass and words scrool on the screen that Jason is alive and better than ever. Jason who has fallen on his ass looks like a hockey Golie being knocked out by a puck. The second time it’s the same thing. Third time you get a peaceful eight bit picture of Camp Crystal Lake with the words gameover. Preceeding this 1/2 star ending you get a caption about Jason being killed. Whoopie! I couldn’t believe the length of the game for some cheap ending. At least it could’ve said, "The princess is in another castle."

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 04/14/2004 10:55 AM

I was hoping I was the only one who noticed the score of 666 but i guess not. Go see Dawn of the Dead. If thats the only tv you own… i hope you have another birthday coming up soon. Sorry

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 04/14/2004 11:17 AM

I had this game, still do somewhere. I loved it! And I hated it! I lived for getting the conch shells, I have never beaten this game, I think my brother actually got to the point of using a strobe on that guppie, but don’t remember ever finishing it. My attention was directed to other games. Great review anyhow.

Chestnuts roasted by Goonie4Life @ 04/14/2004 11:24 AM

I loved hearing Mrs. Sbaitso say "If you don’t like the sound of collecting 350 conch shells ultimately for no real reason at all, go play Stinger. Nobody else was." She came off sounding like the total b*tch she is.. totally cold… and somewhere off in the distance, Stinger is crying…

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 04/14/2004 11:30 AM

More NES fun

http://madness.tmok.com/~asdfg/nespage1.html

Lot’s of pics and rom downloasds.

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 04/14/2004 11:33 AM

Great article…the worst part about the JAWS game (ok well one of the worst parts..) was the fact that in the final scene, its the BOAT you are using to make a JAWS-kabob, and the fact that by pressing the B button on the controller made the boat lunge forward made it all the more comical…I wish I had had a boad that would lunge on command…(BTW the boat from JAWS actually is an on going gag at a certain videogame site, where it constantly pops up in their "best game character" and similiar polls).

Anyways, if you want to review bad nintendo games, hit up Star Voyager, one of Acclaim’s first entries into the video game frey… This game is so impossible, you cant even beat it with a Game Genie!!

Chestnuts roasted by cycoyuk @ 04/14/2004 11:39 AM

I don’t own any games that suck, played a few. I played Frightday: The Hurt Teens a couple of times. When Jason’s head sped by in the water, I laughed so hard, I lost a life. Any one ever make it to the end of Orb 3D? Or at least have a level select cheat?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/14/2004 11:45 AM

I seem to remember that in Jaws – The Revenge, that the shark roared. That’s ludicrous!!!

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 04/14/2004 12:01 PM

Jaws IV was ludicrous on many counts. I so want to like that movie, too. And what’s-her-face, whomever played Ellen — she was actually pretty good in it, but the character was written in such an offbeat, wtf kinda way. Worth seeing just for the general weirdness, but in the world of bad Jaws sequels, I prefer Part III.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/14/2004 12:04 PM

Great article as usual Matt.

"We’d be Picard, "Jaw’s" the four lights."

Best line ever.

Chestnuts roasted by beSharp @ 04/14/2004 12:11 PM

Thanks, Matt. Narrated articles ROCK.

Now, about that Krang article robot-voiced????

On a side note, who exactly is dr. Sbaitso, and who’s his wife?

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 04/14/2004 12:40 PM

Dr. Sbaitso was a computer game/prog from Creative Labs years ago — a "psychiatrist." Great for kids who had no friends. Also great just to make your computer speakers say "fuck."

Mrs. Sbaitso won’t be used for every article, just because I don’t want to train people to read my stuff in a robot girl voice.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/14/2004 12:42 PM

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