X-Entertainment | Jaws: The Nintendo Game.

Jaws: The Nintendo Game.

The first guess was right, here's my review of the Jaws Nintendo game, where we battled with the world's most famous shark using spears, bombs, strobes and our own two hands. A pretty terrible game that still managed to bewitch a few people, it's hard not to appreciate an attempt to get Jaws out there in any way possible. Review includes Mrs. Sbaitso's audio version, and a lot of images aligned jusssst right.

Posted by Matt on 04/13/2004. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 140 comments

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The robot sounds like your average NPR reporter. Lake Wobegon reviews JAWS! Awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 04/13/2004 10:12 PM

actually I was pretty sure it could be correctly written as either "Jaws’" or "Jaws’s" if I remember english class correctly from so many years back.. which I probably don’t

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 04/13/2004 10:16 PM

I had that game when I was like 12.. I don’t think I ever beat it either.. shit!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde's Robot @ 04/13/2004 10:19 PM

Hey Matt,

How about reviewing the Ghostbusters NES game? I’ve never played the Jaws game, but I had the Ghostbusters one when I was a kid and I can’t imagine any game being any worse than it was. I’m betting Ghostbusters makes Jaws look like Super Mario Bros. 3. I would love to hear your musings on it.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 04/13/2004 10:39 PM

Wasn’t there an Atari game w/ Your Diver: Episode 1? I seem to remember trying to keep from floating. There were fish involved, too. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what it was called, though.

My favorite Atari game was, by far, Fast Food. Flying burgers and hot dogs, woo!

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/13/2004 10:40 PM

I haven’t finsihed the article, but

a) Jason, I agree that Ghostbusters is a terrible game

b) Jaws is not that bad. I find it fun every now and then, when I have nothing to do and have played all the other 50 or so NES games I have.

c) I haven’t seen Jaws: The Revenge, but I got about halfway through the book (I’ve read the original Peter Benchley novel, too–the wife is far more important in it than in the movie). The Book was absolutely terrible, too. Utter Tripe.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/13/2004 10:46 PM

One more thing:

"We’d be Picard, "Jaw’s" the four lights"

Brilliant Matt, just Brilliant!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/13/2004 10:53 PM

I love the audio commentary. I can can listen to the article while researching an essay on the habits of women migrant workers for my final exam!

Chestnuts roasted by CasinoRoyale @ 04/13/2004 11:00 PM

I once attended a lecture by a prominent marine biologist where he discussed the merits of conch shells and mast impalings. Very realistic and informative.

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 04/13/2004 11:52 PM

Would have been amazing if you did the article in pirate talk. :’(

Arr Mates Thar BE Jaws, ye best turn back mates, ye be cursed by the beast. ARRRR!!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 04/14/2004 12:34 PM

Dude, this is the best thing ever. Talking reviews rock my world!

Can you please please please please please get all of your reviews and articles to be translated into robot chick voice? I’d really love to hear her say something like "Krang’s mushy alien brain body is soft and pink. I like brains. I like Krang. Krang likes me."

Gold baby.

Chestnuts roasted by Beatnik @ 04/14/2004 12:39 PM

Trajeal: there was a game for the Atari ST with Jaws, but I think it was only titled "Jaws", don’t know if that’s the one you mean, I hope not, despite the slightly advanced tech that game was way less fun that this old timewaster.

Chestnuts roasted by Brentantation @ 04/14/2004 12:44 PM

please make a review about the spirutual sequel of JAWS:
FRIDAY the 13
I´ve got the both.
the simmilities betwen the games
are very coincidental

FORGIVE MY SHITTY ENGLISH SEÑOR MATT

Chestnuts roasted by ERASMO @ 04/14/2004 12:56 PM

Trajeal–

That’s the game I was talking about–Sea Hunt. The biggest challenge was staying down without drowning (apparently SCUBA gear wasn’t invented) and getting into a secret chamber or something.

I played that game 15 years ago, so the memory’s a little fuzzy.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/14/2004 1:03 AM

God help me this was one of my favorite games for the Nintendo….Never did beat the damn thing….

Chestnuts roasted by Rusty @ 04/14/2004 1:09 AM

I actually wanted (and got) Ghostbusters for NES as a kid because you could crash the Ecto-1 into other cars, and the ghost trapping was kinda cool. The thing sucked mostly because it was only a baby step above an Atari game, the ghost sprites are even clip art from some old type of computer. The worst part? The Zool building… I’m not going to get into how horrible it was because I also think Matt should review this game, and the Zool building is easily the biggest reason the game should burn in hell…. Ghost hell…

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 04/14/2004 1:09 AM

This is so completely hilarious I want to cry. :`)

Chestnuts roasted by Kimberly @ 04/14/2004 1:22 AM

The boat from Jaws was the best vudeogame character ever. It should have been included as a playable character in Super Smash Bros Meelee. Also R.O.B stands for Robotic Operating Buddy owns dumb robot at the end of the article.

Chestnuts roasted by Meatwad @ 04/14/2004 1:30 AM

Oh yeah, I know that game all too well. My best friend’s brother tried to pawn it off on me about 13 years ago. I saw it in their rack of NES games, and asked if I could play it. His exact words: "You can keep the motherfucker". They let me play it, and after about five minutes, I gave the "motherfucker" back. Never in my life have I passed on a free videogame, but JAWS was the exception. Every now and then, I’ll see a copy at Gamestop, but the Bible Adventures games seems more appealing.

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 04/14/2004 1:33 AM

To those who want to hear Mrs. Sbaitso say "Shitty", it’s at the very end…

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 04/14/2004 1:41 AM

that voice, how did you do that? It sounds excellent for a computer voice…

Chestnuts roasted by Chu Sooho @ 04/14/2004 2:48 AM

LJN was the master of crappy NES games. Their X-Men game was so lousy. There was barely any point to it,except having two mutants run around attacking things. Back to the Future…was not good. I also once rented Jaws,and never got anywhere. I never got anywhere playing Friday the 13th also.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 04/14/2004 2:59 AM

Matt, you realize that you can now end the Bitner/Photog blog, have that sexy monotone female read the whole thing, and then sell a CD to the masses. Better yet, use as many of those programs you can so regular posters will have their own specific voice from the blog.

Punky Brewster:Season One is on DVD now, so hopefully that includes that freaky episode "The Perils of Punky" for you to review:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00020X83Y/ref=ase_dvdtalk/002-4296264-8368057?v=glance&s=dvd

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 04/14/2004 4:04 AM

I am not the first to bring up Photog with Mrs. Sbaitso, so credit goes to that poster.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 04/14/2004 4:49 AM

This game (which I’ve never played–for some reason I never liked Jaws, Robocop or GI Joe) (Maybe only He-Man kept me from turning gay)(I also never played it becuase my only friend who still has a working Nintendo told me that I can’t play Jaws because it is stupid), reminds me almost exactly of a game I played on my Apple IIgs, I think its called Alligator Hunter or Crocodile Hunter… You are a guy that stabs alligators while swimming… No! Jungle Hunt! It’s Jungle Hunt, you swing from vine to vine and Monkeys try to knock you down, and then you swim and kill alligators, and I think that at the end you rescue a princess or something. Thanks for this stroll down Amnesia Lane. (Is that a line from a movie? I know I’ve heard it before, but I forgot where)

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/14/2004 4:57 AM

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