Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You've probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though -- the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn't some colossal joke on Wham-O's part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you're catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it's really for you.
If you're craving more words loosely tied to Easter, hop back to last year's tribute to Cadbury Creme Eggs. If it's more Peeps you're after, check out my previous adventures with the Halloween and Christmas varieties.
And now, a holiday bonus! A friend of mine got a new MP3 player, and along with it came software that'd convert webpages into audio files. Click here to hear my "Worst Game Room Ever" article, spoken by Dr. Sbaitso's wife, who really doesn't have a grasp on comma pauses or all the words I must've misspelled. You'll probably give up thirty seconds in, but it's pretty weird for me to hear it. If you want more, you're probably alone, but I'll oblige with an audio version of my Choco-Bliss article. I'll hold off on the holiday wishes until a blog entry later tonight, but in case someone's going to Tahiti Grandma's right now, yeah, have an amazing fucking Easter. It's such an exciting blast of a holiday, ain't it?
DJ Swamp: Man, I never even knew if I was able to do it. It was the first time I heard anyone do it, where you type in the entire rap. Then you have to chop every single syllable and beat on Pro Tools. It took me a year but it was worth it. I like how it came out. I was sure someone was going to beat me to it. Luckily, I have the record out.
UNPOP: I think Radiohead used the same computer voice on OK Computer.
DJ Swamp: That is so easy. Just type the shit in and say it. I made it rap. I used the same voice because I knew people would know the voice because both Radiohead and Beck used it. There are twenty voices you can use. People know that the ‘Fred’ voice is in Simple Text but I am going to make the motherfucker rap. That is what is hard to do. ‘Fred’ is a legend now. He has a career ahead of him. If I called him, then I would have to pay him. I don’t even know if ‘Fred’ exists, it might be all computer generated from day one. If it is a sample, Word is not a big enough file to carry that big a sample."
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 04/11/2004 9:55 AM
OMG a Marshmallow Peeps maker! My life is now complete.
peeps are the nastiest thing ever.the only thing that rivals thier shittyness are those orange circus peanut things.i retch just thinking about them.
Chestnuts roasted by meef @ 04/11/2004 12:05 PM
Don’t care for Peeps, myself but great article anyway. I’m a Cadbury man myself. Especially the Carmel kinds. Those and the huge reeses peanut butter eggs… *Homer Simpson happy-gurgle*…. I’m gonna go to the store….
Chestnuts roasted by Blaine @ 04/11/2004 1:25 PM
I’d be tempted to eat a package of the coloured sugar to see if it made my tongue turn different colours.
Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 04/11/2004 1:38 PM
I’m no "Peeps" fan, and not even all that big on marshmallows. Give me the huge chocolate, coconut-filled eggs the Fudge Kitchen makes every Easter. They cost a pretty penny (which is why we no longer recive them in our Easter baskets), but are among the most delicious candies in the world. They’re also among the richest, so they can only be nibbled on, but that’s not a bad thing. Some things were meant to be nibbled on.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 04/11/2004 2:35 PM
This year for the first time I got the brilliant idea to try and roast my Peeps. The sugar that doesn’t end up all over the stove carmelizes and turns into a hard candy shell, and it becomes the most delicious confection I have ever had the priviledge of tasting. Candy of the gods.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/11/2004 4:32 PM
matt, the peeps come out better looking if you spray the molds with PAM first. It’s a great toy/confectionary device.
Chestnuts roasted by Rono @ 04/11/2004 4:33 PM
Not sure how the Owl Dissection Kit article was semi-related to the Peeps Maker article. Should I be scared? Maybe an article on horse hooves or carrageenan could tie it all together, in a wierd, biological sort of way.
Is it Howard Hesseman or Howard Heeseman? Howard Hessman? Howard Hessmann?
OT: anyone here watch Survivor? Who thinks Romber (Rombah) is going to take it to the F2? Should Rupert, Alicia, Big Tom and Jenna mutiny? Will "Core of Hatred" Kathy and SheepAnn be pagonged?
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/11/2004 5:04 PM
What are you trying to do Matt? I had to go and eat few Peep bunnies after reading your article. You have this sick power of me, your articles make me do things!
Like when I had to go to Wendy’s and order off the dollor menu. Or when I had to run over to American Science and Surplus and buy loads of shit I didn’t really need(ok I can’t complain about that one, AS&S is awsome, and I love rainbow camelion stickers, good thing their only a few minutes away).
I just dread whats going happen when you write an article about killing celebrities. On the other hand that might be a good thing.
Chestnuts roasted by Don't Touch, Willy. @ 04/11/2004 6:21 PM
I hate peeps, I’m sorry Matt.
Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 04/11/2004 6:43 PM
You know, that rally cheerd me up…I need to go buy peeps now to make me feel less depressed…
Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 04/11/2004 6:44 PM
"The molds are adequate enough, but they provide Peeps of a much smaller persuasion than what we’re used to buying in stores. Don’t expect full-sized Peeps; for just fifteen bucks, you take what you can get."
Nice use of semi-colon!
Chestnuts roasted by Dane @ 04/11/2004 7:22 PM
yay! 39. why are people so excited about being the first to comment…"yay! i didnt read his article, but i’m first to comment..whoo hoo!" anyway..i’m a goin try NON PIG FLESH marshmellows
I love Mrs. Sbaitso! Originally I listened to hear my favourite bit about the ice cream machine mystery, but almost shat when I heard the last few words, spoken with complete valley girl-ish attitude…"those chips were really disgusting". She sounds exactly like Romy…"I invented post-it’s."
Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 04/11/2004 11:20 PM
Peeps kick ass. I feel like I should check for cavities every time I eat one, but they’re still good.
Cadbury Creme Eggs kick ass. The goodness of chocolate mixed with pure… well, I don’t really know what that stuff’s made of, but it’s great.
Peeps + Cadbury Creme Eggs = … ?
I’ll tell you what, extreme ass-kickitude that’s what.
The only way you could improve that equation would be to add in those little round caramel things that have the creme in the middle.
@:^)% <— Bond… James Bond
Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 04/12/2004 12:57 PM
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/12/2004 1:25 AM
That peep diarama seriously freaked me out.
Chestnuts roasted by Ashj @ 04/12/2004 1:43 AM
I have, honest to God, never once consumed a marshmallow peep.
Chestnuts roasted by brentmisato @ 04/12/2004 2:55 AM
"Queer Eye for the Straight Peeps." I’m finding it hard to believe these Peeps have sexual identities. Too funny.
Chestnuts roasted by Goonie4Life @ 04/12/2004 3:41 AM
Well, no Peeps this year. Not that I’m complaining. I honestly hate Shmallows.
Chestnuts roasted by Nate (Mr. Shmallow? Naw, same ole Nate.) @ 04/12/2004 4:21 AM
The "South Peeps" one was pretty funny.
Is anyone else’s dog hawking up yellow and pink Easter grass? My dog just can’t seem to get enough, yet feels compelled to yak it all back up in a sparkly, chunky dog food mucus shake. Blech. At least it’s not coming out the other end, yet. Then we’ll get to see him do the doggy dingleberry dance while skidding his hairy butt along the ground.
I love Easter!
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/12/2004 8:46 AM
I bet you made them look shitty on purpose The results look more like cotton candy…
Peeps are decent, not the worst thing you could have but not as awesome as the mystical Cadburry Egg. I also tend to like Easter a lot, especially this year since it was the same day as my birthday. Anytime you manage to get cash from relatives and enough chocolate to last you for 4 months its a big score!
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 04/12/2004 11:21 AM
I coulda used the Peep syringe to help get my brain back together. As it stands, I think I scooped up somebody’s memory of their first sexual experience by accident. Amazingly, it too involves Peeps and Cadbury eggs. I still suggest putting a Peep in a vacuum jar. Watching them decompress is fun, then they shrivel when the air is put back. (switches to Thomas Dolby mode) Science!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/12/2004 11:58 AM
This entry was posted
on Saturday, April 10th, 2004 at 11:48 pm
and is filed under General.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You've probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though -- the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn't some colossal joke on Wham-O's part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you're catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it's really for you.
If you're craving more words loosely tied to Easter, hop back to last year's tribute to Cadbury Creme Eggs. If it's more Peeps you're after, check out my previous adventures with the Halloween and Christmas varieties.
And now, a holiday bonus! A friend of mine got a new MP3 player, and along with it came software that'd convert webpages into audio files. Click here to hear my "Worst Game Room Ever" article, spoken by Dr. Sbaitso's wife, who really doesn't have a grasp on comma pauses or all the words I must've misspelled. You'll probably give up thirty seconds in, but it's pretty weird for me to hear it. If you want more, you're probably alone, but I'll oblige with an audio version of my Choco-Bliss article. I'll hold off on the holiday wishes until a blog entry later tonight, but in case someone's going to Tahiti Grandma's right now, yeah, have an amazing fucking Easter. It's such an exciting blast of a holiday, ain't it?
This entry was posted
on Saturday, April 10th, 2004 at 11:47 pm
and is filed under General.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You've probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though -- the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn't some colossal joke on Wham-O's part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you're catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it's really for you.
Posted by Matt on 04/10/2004. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
I posted this once before, but now it makes sense to post it:
DJ Swamp’s "Worship the Robots"
http://www.djswamp.com/videos/worshiptherobots28mb.mov
http://www.unpop.com/features/int/swamp.html
"UNPOP: What about getting the robot voice to work?
DJ Swamp: Man, I never even knew if I was able to do it. It was the first time I heard anyone do it, where you type in the entire rap. Then you have to chop every single syllable and beat on Pro Tools. It took me a year but it was worth it. I like how it came out. I was sure someone was going to beat me to it. Luckily, I have the record out.
UNPOP: I think Radiohead used the same computer voice on OK Computer.
DJ Swamp: That is so easy. Just type the shit in and say it. I made it rap. I used the same voice because I knew people would know the voice because both Radiohead and Beck used it. There are twenty voices you can use. People know that the ‘Fred’ voice is in Simple Text but I am going to make the motherfucker rap. That is what is hard to do. ‘Fred’ is a legend now. He has a career ahead of him. If I called him, then I would have to pay him. I don’t even know if ‘Fred’ exists, it might be all computer generated from day one. If it is a sample, Word is not a big enough file to carry that big a sample."