04/10/2004: The Peeps Marshmallow Maker & Audio X-E!
Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You’ve probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though — the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn’t some colossal joke on Wham-O’s part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you’re catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it’s really for you.
If you’re craving more words loosely tied to Easter, hop back to last year’s tribute to Cadbury Creme Eggs. If it’s more Peeps you’re after, check out my previous adventures with the Halloween and Christmas varieties.
And now, a holiday bonus! A friend of mine got a new MP3 player, and along with it came software that’d convert webpages into audio files. Click here to hear my “Worst Game Room Ever” article, spoken by Dr. Sbaitso’s wife, who really doesn’t have a grasp on comma pauses or all the words I must’ve misspelled. You’ll probably give up thirty seconds in, but it’s pretty weird for me to hear it. If you want more, you’re probably alone, but I’ll oblige with an audio version of my Choco-Bliss article. I’ll hold off on the holiday wishes until a blog entry later tonight, but in case someone’s going to Tahiti Grandma’s right now, yeah, have an amazing fucking Easter. It’s such an exciting blast of a holiday, ain’t it?
Until I saw that final picture in the article, I never realized how sparkly Peeps dust is. We’ve been eating arts & crafts sparkles all these years.
Ghosted by Molten @ 04/11/2004 12:35 PM EDT
I wouldn’t say voice synth technology has improved THAT much. Kinda reminds me of when I had Bonzi buddy a few years back. Damn annoying ape!
Ghosted by Well @ 04/11/2004 12:38 PM EDT
Mrs. Sbaitso’s work isn’t polished, but it’s a start.
Ghosted by Matt @ 04/11/2004 12:38 PM EDT
Sixth!!!!!!!!!
Ghosted by The Dude @ 04/11/2004 12:57 PM EDT
Lucky #7!!!
Another great article, Matt
Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 04/11/2004 1:06 AM EDT
Now I’ve gotta ask this. . .I’ve tried Peeps, but dispise them (they’re goeey texture and sweet taste), but my sister loves to crack open a package and wait until they go stale until she eats them!?! Does anyone else enjoy the staleness of one of these sugar-filled bastards?
Ghosted by Mugzy @ 04/11/2004 1:10 AM EDT
I can now successfully freak out my mother any time I want to by opening this article. She HATES Peeps.
Ghosted by Freezair @ 04/11/2004 1:17 AM EDT
Spaceballs, eh? What a coincidence… I just watched Spaceballs in full tonight. Really. It was kinda creepy.
Ghosted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 04/11/2004 1:24 AM EDT
Jokes still as funny coming from an emotionless robot.
Yeah, I hate that part. She also seems to have trouble pronouncing "actually," and that’s trouble since I use the word 800 times per article.
Ghosted by Matt @ 04/11/2004 1:45 AM EDT
You know, I actually sat here and wondered what a factory full of these things would look like.
Then I got bored and punched myself in the face. At least that has the redeeming value of making me unaware of my current enviornment. I think I’ll go back to it.
Wow! 8 out of 10?! are you sure you didn’t mean 6 out of 10?
As far as that voice synth shit, how big/long do you think the Photog Blog would be if it was converted to synth? hmmm..
LordKaT: I think I’ll try that punch in the face thing next time I try to bring up Photog
aside: I reviewed Optimus Prime (finally) click on my name to check it out. Not quite X-E, but there’s lot’s of pics to make up for the shitty writing.
A friend told me that they got a free sample — because they helped Just Born in market research — of a Halloween Peeps. It will be shaped like a pumpkin, fully three-dimensionally pumpkin shaped (like the classic Peeps as opposed to the flat bunnies) with orange creme in the middle. If they follow through it sounds perfect for review.
Ghosted by Kit @ 04/11/2004 3:11 AM EDT
Mugzy, I also enjoy them that way, or I can eat them fresh. I once let a pack of Christmas snowmen peeps go stale for about 2 weeks.
Ghosted by pikachulover @ 04/11/2004 4:48 AM EDT
I too despise the Peeps, I love sweet stuff, but eating one of those is like injecting yourself with pure cane sugar. I never got to try the Chocolate Peeps Matt spoke so highly of, but hopefully we’ll see the return of those this fall, they actually may not suck.
Ghosted by The Dude @ 04/11/2004 4:53 AM EDT
Peeps? Bah…Never eat the stuff. Now Cadbury Eggs, on the other hand….Well, lets just say that I’m on my 8th four pack in two weeks
Ghosted by Cameron @ 04/11/2004 6:41 AM EDT
HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!
First easter wish (i think) booya!
Great article…shame ive never eaten a peep
Ghosted by vyle @ 04/11/2004 6:42 AM EDT
Wow, I had no idea that the feild of computers reading words out loud had progressed so far. Although, I guess I should have expected it, as the last time I had a computer read anything to me was on an old Macintosh, which is probably about 20 years old by now.
Dr. Sbaitso’s wife emphasises words like William Shatner does.
Ghosted by The Waffle Man @ 04/11/2004 7:21 AM EDT
Has anyone seen the commercials looking for investors in Box Office Express? Matt, imagine if you could get some to exclusively carry X-E related movies and video games. You would be a thousandaire in no time. Copy and Paste: http://www.franchiseworks.com/aed_movie_rental_franchise_video_
rental_vending_franchise_dvd,_video_games,_movies_vending_kiosk
_business.htm
After reading the Sesame article, I checked Kevin "Elmo" Clash’s credits and he was the voice of Splinter in the first two Ninja Turtles movies. The third movie had someone other than Henson Creature Shop do the puppets, so I can figure that is why he did not return. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0165159/
Ghosted by ME @ 04/11/2004 9:20 AM EDT
Like listening to the audio version of "ChocoBliss" isn’t the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life! It’s too good. Hahaha! Happy Easter!
Ghosted by Goonie4Life @ 04/11/2004 9:23 AM EDT
the peeps look pre chewed and left under a couch o_O
DJ Swamp: Man, I never even knew if I was able to do it. It was the first time I heard anyone do it, where you type in the entire rap. Then you have to chop every single syllable and beat on Pro Tools. It took me a year but it was worth it. I like how it came out. I was sure someone was going to beat me to it. Luckily, I have the record out.
UNPOP: I think Radiohead used the same computer voice on OK Computer.
DJ Swamp: That is so easy. Just type the shit in and say it. I made it rap. I used the same voice because I knew people would know the voice because both Radiohead and Beck used it. There are twenty voices you can use. People know that the ‘Fred’ voice is in Simple Text but I am going to make the motherfucker rap. That is what is hard to do. ‘Fred’ is a legend now. He has a career ahead of him. If I called him, then I would have to pay him. I don’t even know if ‘Fred’ exists, it might be all computer generated from day one. If it is a sample, Word is not a big enough file to carry that big a sample."
Ghosted by ME @ 04/11/2004 9:55 AM EDT
OMG a Marshmallow Peeps maker! My life is now complete.
peeps are the nastiest thing ever.the only thing that rivals thier shittyness are those orange circus peanut things.i retch just thinking about them.
Ghosted by meef @ 04/11/2004 12:05 PM EDT
Don’t care for Peeps, myself but great article anyway. I’m a Cadbury man myself. Especially the Carmel kinds. Those and the huge reeses peanut butter eggs… *Homer Simpson happy-gurgle*…. I’m gonna go to the store….
Ghosted by Blaine @ 04/11/2004 1:25 PM EDT
I’d be tempted to eat a package of the coloured sugar to see if it made my tongue turn different colours.
Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 04/11/2004 1:38 PM EDT
I’m no "Peeps" fan, and not even all that big on marshmallows. Give me the huge chocolate, coconut-filled eggs the Fudge Kitchen makes every Easter. They cost a pretty penny (which is why we no longer recive them in our Easter baskets), but are among the most delicious candies in the world. They’re also among the richest, so they can only be nibbled on, but that’s not a bad thing. Some things were meant to be nibbled on.
Ghosted by starwenn @ 04/11/2004 2:35 PM EDT
This year for the first time I got the brilliant idea to try and roast my Peeps. The sugar that doesn’t end up all over the stove carmelizes and turns into a hard candy shell, and it becomes the most delicious confection I have ever had the priviledge of tasting. Candy of the gods.
matt, the peeps come out better looking if you spray the molds with PAM first. It’s a great toy/confectionary device.
Ghosted by Rono @ 04/11/2004 4:33 PM EDT
Not sure how the Owl Dissection Kit article was semi-related to the Peeps Maker article. Should I be scared? Maybe an article on horse hooves or carrageenan could tie it all together, in a wierd, biological sort of way.
Is it Howard Hesseman or Howard Heeseman? Howard Hessman? Howard Hessmann?
OT: anyone here watch Survivor? Who thinks Romber (Rombah) is going to take it to the F2? Should Rupert, Alicia, Big Tom and Jenna mutiny? Will "Core of Hatred" Kathy and SheepAnn be pagonged?
Ghosted by trajeal @ 04/11/2004 5:04 PM EDT
What are you trying to do Matt? I had to go and eat few Peep bunnies after reading your article. You have this sick power of me, your articles make me do things!
Like when I had to go to Wendy’s and order off the dollor menu. Or when I had to run over to American Science and Surplus and buy loads of shit I didn’t really need(ok I can’t complain about that one, AS&S is awsome, and I love rainbow camelion stickers, good thing their only a few minutes away).
I just dread whats going happen when you write an article about killing celebrities. On the other hand that might be a good thing.
Ghosted by Don't Touch, Willy. @ 04/11/2004 6:21 PM EDT
I hate peeps, I’m sorry Matt.
Ghosted by ANdrew @ 04/11/2004 6:43 PM EDT
You know, that rally cheerd me up…I need to go buy peeps now to make me feel less depressed…
Ghosted by Allie @ 04/11/2004 6:44 PM EDT
"The molds are adequate enough, but they provide Peeps of a much smaller persuasion than what we’re used to buying in stores. Don’t expect full-sized Peeps; for just fifteen bucks, you take what you can get."
Nice use of semi-colon!
Ghosted by Dane @ 04/11/2004 7:22 PM EDT
yay! 39. why are people so excited about being the first to comment…"yay! i didnt read his article, but i’m first to comment..whoo hoo!" anyway..i’m a goin try NON PIG FLESH marshmellows
I love Mrs. Sbaitso! Originally I listened to hear my favourite bit about the ice cream machine mystery, but almost shat when I heard the last few words, spoken with complete valley girl-ish attitude…"those chips were really disgusting". She sounds exactly like Romy…"I invented post-it’s."
Ghosted by Kristal @ 04/11/2004 11:20 PM EDT
Peeps kick ass. I feel like I should check for cavities every time I eat one, but they’re still good.
Cadbury Creme Eggs kick ass. The goodness of chocolate mixed with pure… well, I don’t really know what that stuff’s made of, but it’s great.
Peeps + Cadbury Creme Eggs = … ?
I’ll tell you what, extreme ass-kickitude that’s what.
The only way you could improve that equation would be to add in those little round caramel things that have the creme in the middle.
@:^)% <— Bond… James Bond
Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 04/12/2004 12:57 PM EDT
I have, honest to God, never once consumed a marshmallow peep.
Ghosted by brentmisato @ 04/12/2004 2:55 AM EDT
"Queer Eye for the Straight Peeps." I’m finding it hard to believe these Peeps have sexual identities. Too funny.
Ghosted by Goonie4Life @ 04/12/2004 3:41 AM EDT
Well, no Peeps this year. Not that I’m complaining. I honestly hate Shmallows.
Ghosted by Nate (Mr. Shmallow? Naw, same ole Nate.) @ 04/12/2004 4:21 AM EDT
The "South Peeps" one was pretty funny.
Is anyone else’s dog hawking up yellow and pink Easter grass? My dog just can’t seem to get enough, yet feels compelled to yak it all back up in a sparkly, chunky dog food mucus shake. Blech. At least it’s not coming out the other end, yet. Then we’ll get to see him do the doggy dingleberry dance while skidding his hairy butt along the ground.
I love Easter!
Ghosted by trajeal @ 04/12/2004 8:46 AM EDT
I bet you made them look shitty on purpose The results look more like cotton candy…
Peeps are decent, not the worst thing you could have but not as awesome as the mystical Cadburry Egg. I also tend to like Easter a lot, especially this year since it was the same day as my birthday. Anytime you manage to get cash from relatives and enough chocolate to last you for 4 months its a big score!
Ghosted by Tim @ 04/12/2004 11:21 AM EDT
I coulda used the Peep syringe to help get my brain back together. As it stands, I think I scooped up somebody’s memory of their first sexual experience by accident. Amazingly, it too involves Peeps and Cadbury eggs. I still suggest putting a Peep in a vacuum jar. Watching them decompress is fun, then they shrivel when the air is put back. (switches to Thomas Dolby mode) Science!
This entry was posted
on Saturday, April 10th, 2004 at 11:48 pm
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04/10/2004: The Peeps Marshmallow Maker & Audio X-E!
Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You’ve probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though — the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn’t some colossal joke on Wham-O’s part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you’re catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it’s really for you.
If you’re craving more words loosely tied to Easter, hop back to last year’s tribute to Cadbury Creme Eggs. If it’s more Peeps you’re after, check out my previous adventures with the Halloween and Christmas varieties.
And now, a holiday bonus! A friend of mine got a new MP3 player, and along with it came software that’d convert webpages into audio files. Click here to hear my “Worst Game Room Ever” article, spoken by Dr. Sbaitso’s wife, who really doesn’t have a grasp on comma pauses or all the words I must’ve misspelled. You’ll probably give up thirty seconds in, but it’s pretty weird for me to hear it. If you want more, you’re probably alone, but I’ll oblige with an audio version of my Choco-Bliss article. I’ll hold off on the holiday wishes until a blog entry later tonight, but in case someone’s going to Tahiti Grandma’s right now, yeah, have an amazing fucking Easter. It’s such an exciting blast of a holiday, ain’t it?
This entry was posted
on Saturday, April 10th, 2004 at 11:47 pm
and is filed under General.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Come on, you know I had to do at least one Easter article. You’ve probably heard of the Marshmallow Peeps Marshmallow Maker by now, but have ya ever seen it in action? The process of cooking Peeps is a lot simpler than you might suspect, and the article shows it step-by-step. No matter, though — the playset was too damn cheap to complain about, and though smaller, you can really make Peeps with it. It wasn’t some colossal joke on Wham-O’s part. Peeps are no longer exclusive to Easter, so if you’re catching this article after the holiday, feel free to hit the toy stores afterwards. As long as you can stomach walking up to the register with a Peeps machine to wonder if the money ladies know that it’s really for you.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
whoo-hoo!! Long-time yadda yadda, first time shabba-shabba!! wish i could try the choco-peeps, but wrong season…awww. great comment, and blah blah!!